Work Text:
Another track graced the Internet by 25-ji Nightcord de., just as they always had done. The corner of Kanade's lips perked as Ena, Mizuki, and Mafuyu passed around congratulatory remarks through Nightcord.
"We should totally grab a drink!" Mizuki exclaimed. "It'll be my treat for how hard we've worked!"
"Oh~ When did you get the funds to treat all four of us?" Ena quipped. "Last time you said that, you only had enough for yourself!"
"Whoa there, kitten~ I have enough for us, I swear!"
"How do I know you're true to your words?"
"Uh, at least I have enough to treat you too…?"
"Wow. Did you just leave K and Yuki in the dust?"
"It's more like you're broke out of all of us—"
"MIZUKI, SAY YOUR PRAYERS!"
"EEP!"
"So loud…" Mafuyu grumbled. "Are we done yet? I have to go to sleep."
Kanade glanced at the clock. "It's late for you, isn't it?" she remarked.
"I'm sure it's late for all of us."
"True…"
"Oh yeah… gosh, it's only Thursday!" Mizuki wailed. Kanade flinched, pulling her headphones away from her ears as Mizuki continued. "I want to sleep in!"
"Then let's go to sleep," Ena muttered, her voice laced in annoyance. "The more you talk, the less time you have for sleep."
A loud huff was heard from Mizuki's end. "I know that, Sherlock…"
"What did you just call me?"
"My beautiful wife~"
"It didn't have that many syllables!"
"I'm sure you heard wrong~"
"The only thing I'll have you make me hear are your apologies!"
Unfortunately, their conversation derailed, prolonging their stay for another few minutes. Kanade quietly logged out of the group call with a message and leaned back against her chair. She softly exhaled.
It had been a long night for them.
I should think of another song…
But not long enough for Kanade. There was still something she had to do. She stretched her hands high above her head and rotated her shoulders. After a faint whine, Kanade adjusted her posture, rolled her shoulders once more, and pushed herself close to her desk. Although a recent track was pushed on the Internet, Kanade reopened the audio program.
It was the same track they worked on. Kanade casually duplicated the file and, with a click, removed the vocals. She softly sighed.
What am I doing…?
She stared at her cursor hovering over the notes.
I need to write more songs for Mafuyu.
She wanted to do something for Mafuyu.
Are songs enough, though…?
She recalled confronting her mother. Kanade's palms sweated profusely as she articulated her point across. A seed was planted between Mafuyu and her mother, yet it caused a rift between Kanade and her mother. It didn't matter. So long as Kanade could do something for Mafuyu, then that was most important.
So long as Mafuyu could smile again, then I would do anything to make that happen.
Kanade leaned forward, eyeing her notes. Luka's words gradually rang in her ears as she clicked on her keys and mouse.
She doesn't know what I'm trying to do.
Luka just had to point it out back in their SEKAI. Kanade's heart fell into the pit of her stomach as her vision trembled violently. Against her discretion, Kanade bit her lip, shoved the thoughts to the back of her head, and fixated on the music sheets. However, a couple of notes added, and she heard Luka's voice again.
"You should think about a future where you won't write for Mafuyu again."
"Ridiculous," Kanade muttered under her breath. "Why is she acting like she knows me?"
"You've always been thinking about others, but not once have you thought about what you needed."
"I do know what I need," Kanade's knuckles whitened. "I need to save Mafuyu, Ena, Mizuki… father… everyone."
"Oh? It's always been someone other than yourself. What then? What if they've all been saved?"
"Impossible. There will always be someone that I need to save."
"Perhaps so…"
Bitterness lingered on the tip of her tongue. Kanade scowled and sighed loudly. The mood to write another song eroded just as quickly as her desire to start anew. She crawled to her mattress and rested her arm over her head.
"Perhaps there will be someone that needs your songs."
Sleep did not come. Instead, her head pounded, forcing a frown on her face. Kanade gritted her teeth, squeezing her eyes shut just when the tears welled.
Ever since she was little, she was so spoiled. She had two loving parents who cherished and brought a smile to her face. Eventually, her mom disappeared from her life. Kanade could never forget the warmth slowly replaced by an inevitable chill from her mother's soft hand. No matter how she desperate rubbed her hands and cheeks against her palm, the warmth never returned. A matter of years and her father collapsed, shortly after hearing her track she composed. He stirred awake months down the line, yet the warmth he once had for his daughter was gone, replaced by a distant curiosity of who she was. Her grandmother was frail and Kanade could hardly bring herself to whisper the curses that she willed upon herself.
Then, there was Mafuyu. Over time, Kanade desperately sought for ways to make her smile. Even when she professed her love for Mafuyu, the smile that graced the lyricist was unforgettable. Contrary to how Ena and Mizuki assumed, Kanade embraced Mafuyu, running her fingers through her dark locks as Mafuyu's hands held onto her back for dear life. Everything that Mafuyu felt was laid bare for Kanade.
It became ritualistic. They would sit on Kanade's bed on a weekly basis, hugging as Mafuyu sobbed into Kanade's chest. It wasn't long until Mafuyu fell asleep, resting on her shoulder. Kanade wiped her stray tears without failure.
Mafuyu needed someone to lean on, and Kanade made sure she would be that someone similar to Mizuki needing Ena.
"You're always so kind… so selfless… yet…"
Kanade's chest grew heavy and the familiar coldness gripped her heart. Bit by bit, her mind sunk into a fog, her tears long dried.
"Kanade, someday you will have to face your true reason for wanting to disappear."