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VAX’ILDAN
The wind was cold atop the walls, but it did not compare to how cold he’d felt the night before.
Sharp piercing deep veins turning to ice unable to think-
Vax shook his head sharply to banish the memory, an instinctual reflex honed over long years of avoiding. Avoiding his responsibilities, avoiding his pain, avoiding his feelings.
No. I promised. Eyes closed, he reached out again, pulling himself back into the memory while it was still fresh.
Unable to think…too cold. Wet against his face. The face of Delilah Briarwood, eyes that appeared as cold and unfeeling as a winter storm. His vision fading, darkness falling like a blanket over his remaining senses.
Vax winced, brow furrowing and eyes squeezing tighter.
And then… sunlight filtered through leaves, shining on hair like spun copper. Her lithe form glided through the forest, at her most graceful in her element…
Dark blue eyes the mirror of his own flashing with anger and determination, her wrist touching her cheek as she drew, her breath exhaled in a puff of steam as she loosed the arrow that flew straight and true…
White hair wild above the strange metal mask, fire exploding from the weapon he’d crafted himself…Red scales glinting in the light of conjured flame…The sound of song mixed with the bellows of a giant going to war…Prayers breathed out to become the light of life itself…
Vax had seem them all. His friends, his traveling companions, his family. Vox Machina. He’d come to feel almost as much for each of them as he did for his twin, much more than he’d ever wanted or expected. Vax smirked at the irony. It was only though leaving their actual family behind that he and Vex had found the belonging they had sought ever since their mother’s death.
Vax’s expression sobered as he considered who had come to his mind first. He’d been running from it for so long: the ache that pierced his heart whenever he looked at her, the joy that flooded his soul when she spoke his name aloud. He knew what it meant; he just hadn’t been able to admit it, not even to himself. Now, though? Now there was no more avoiding it.
There in those moments when he was sure he was about to breathe his last, she had come to his thoughts first, even before the image of his beloved sister.
Vax closed his eyes. What to do, then? He’d been avoiding so long he’d forgotten what comes after. Vax sighed and pushed his hands back through his hair.
“Brother?” Vex’ahlia’s worried voice spoke behind him, shaking him back to the present. Vax schooled his expression into his normal affable neutrality and turned to look at her.
“Yes, dear sister?”
“We’ve much work to do. Why are you hiding out up here?” Vex’s voice was gentle, but Vax could detect the slight hint of impatience that tinged her words, though he doubted anyone else could’ve picked up on it. She was his twin, after all. “It isn’t safe, besides.”
“Isn’t safe?” Vax scoffed. “This is our home, our refuge.” He slapped one hand on top of the stone crenellation he was leaning against. “This is the safest place to be!”
Vex frowned at him, eyes narrowing in – well, in vexation, Vax thought, fighting a chuckle. “You should know better than anyone that we have no idea what those bastard Briarwoods are capable of, brother,” she said.
“I know, I know,” Vax sighed, and looked back out over the wall towards Emon. The city sparkled like a jewel in the afternoon sunlight. It looked so clean and peaceful from here. One would never know he’d almost died there just hours before.
“What is wrong, Vax?” Vex asked, dropping any pretense of irritation. Vax glanced at her and saw that she had those tiny furrows between her brows she only got when she was worried. Of course she knew something was wrong. She was his twin, after all.
“I…I don’t know how to say it, sis,” Vax answered slowly. “I’ve never been good at expressing my feelings.”
“Oh, you’re plenty good at expressing the bad ones. It’s always ‘oh let’s sneak up behind them and bash them in the head, ask questions later’ with you,” Vex retorted, acting out an unflattering imitation of his attack stance as she did so.
Vax smirked at that and dodged her fist as she mimed braining him with a dagger. “You know what I meant.”
“Yeah, I do. So what is it?” Vex’s eyes widened. “Wait! I know what it is,” she exclaimed in a sing-song voice.
“Well that’s good then, I won’t have to explain it.”
“You need to tell her.”
Vax’s whipped his head around, too astonished to hide his reaction. “What?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, brother. I know you too well, probably better than you know yourself.” Vex moved to lean against the wall beside him. “You have to tell Keyleth how you feel. Now. Before one of you is …” Her voice trailed off. “You know.”
Vax stared at his sister, eyes wide with amazement. “How…how long—“ he sputtered.
Vex regarded him seriously. “Since Pyrah.”
Oh. Right. Pyrah, when he’d willingly dived headfirst into a lava-filled chasm after Keyleth with barely a second thought. Vax nodded slowly.
“I’d had my suspicions after the trials – pretending to be married? Really? – but that bit of foolishness confirmed it,” Vex continued. “How long have you known?”
Vax rubbed his chin with his hand as he considered. “A long time, I think. I don’t know for sure. But I am only just now actually realizing it.”
Vex nodded. “Near-death experiences will do that to you.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. Vax reached up and covered it with one of his own. “Tell her,” she said.
“But…how does one do that?” Vax said.
“Well, I would say try the normal way first.” Vex rolled her eyes. “With your words?”
Vax laughed at that, a short burst of mirth he didn’t really feel. “Oh, it’s that simple, is it?”
“Well if it isn’t it probably should be,” Vex replied matter-of-factly.
“It isn’t that fucking simple, sis,” Vax spat. “What if the rest of the group finds out? What will they do? What if – what if…”
“…she doesn’t feel the same way?” Vex finished for him. “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
For the second time that afternoon, Vax stared at his sister in astonishment. “What?”
Vex grinned at him. “Oh, yeah. Whose idea was it to be pretend-married?”
Vax’s eyes widened in realization as he remembered. “Keyleth’s.”
“Right,” Vex said, her tone triumphant. “And that’s just your most obvious clue. You don’t see the way she looks at you. Mostly because she does it when she’s sure you’re not watching. But I’m pretty perceptive, if you’ll remember. Especially when it comes to you, brother.”
Vax suddenly felt this strange, unfamiliar giddiness welling up inside him, and he began to grin. “Really?”
Vex grinned back. “Yup.” She squeezed his shoulder again. “Besides, who wouldn’t like a handsome devil like you? Even if I did get the better looks between us.”
Vax laughed, the feeling genuine this time, and pushed Vex away from him with a playful shove. “Oh, piss off, you.”
Vex giggled and dodge-skipped out of his reach. Then another voice boomed out from behind them both:
“Who is a handsome devil?” Tiberius asked. There was a great whoosh of air that flapped up the edges of his robes as he landed on the wall. Vex squealed in surprise and jumped out of the way.
“Oh, my apologies,” Tiberius said. “I certainly didn’t intend to startle you.”
“Where have you been, Tibsy?” Vax asked, turning to lean his back against the stone so he could face the dragonborn.
Tiberius grimaced at Vax’s use of the nickname and carefully pushed his spectacles back up onto his face from where they had slid down his snout as he flew. “Running errands,” he replied flatly.
“Ah, of course.”
“Yes! And it seems that nobody likes me now! Or any of us, really,” Tiberius said, eyes downcast.
“What do you mean?”
“They’ve barred us from entering the Cloudtop District! Those guards are buttholes.”
Vax cut his eyes to his sister as she suppressed a giggle and tried to hide his own grin. “I’m sorry, Tibsy. That must be hard for you.”
“It is! No one should ever treat a Stormwind in that manner,” Tiberius sputtered. “Why, even Ellura wouldn’t see me!”
Vax pulled a flask from one of the inner pockets of his cloak, and held it out to the distraught sorcerer. “Would you like a drink?” He held it out to Vex as well, but she shook her head.
“No thank you, brother. I need to go get a guard for the boy,” Vex said, and turned to walk further down the wall to the guard tower. She looked back over her shoulder and winked at him as she left.
“Why, I think I will. This is definitely a situation that calls for alcohol.” Tiberius snatched the flask out of Vax’s hand and struggled with the cork for a moment, his claw-tipped fingers unable to find purchase on the smooth metal neck of the bottle.
Vax watched for a moment, incredulous. “Really?
“Yes, yes…” Tiberius muttered as he continued to struggle with the cork. He held out the flask to Vax and shook it impatiently. Vax grinned and opened it, handing it back to the dragonborn still slightly disbelieving in what he was seeing.
Tiberus took a long draught from the flask, then coughed and sputtered a bit. “Oh, yes, very good. That’s the ticket.” He recovered enough to take another draught, and then held the flask out with one hand while wiping his eyes with the other, careful not to dislodge his spectacles.
“Better?” Vax asked, laughing a bit now.
“Very much so,” Tiberius replied. He cleared his throat. “So. What now?”
Vax took his own drink and shrugged. “Damned if I know, Tibsy. I suppose we’ll have to face the Briarwoods at some point. They’re too dangerous to leave alone.”
Tiberius nodded. “Yes, I suppose.” He huffed indignantly, small puffs of flame flashing from his nostrils. “Damn those vampire bastards! The absolute gall of it! Attacking the palace? All of Taldorei should be marching to war! Why, if such a thing happened in Draconia – except, such a thing wouldn’t happen in Draconia, we’re far too civilized!”
Vax grimaced. His hand reached up to rub the two tiny holes in his neck. “I know. It was pretty awful, wasn’t it?”
Tiberius’s eyes widened. “My god, I am such a fool.” He clapped one hand down on Vax’s shoulder, his face concerned. “Vax’ildan, are you alright? After the…uh, close call you had?” He huffed again. ‘I was out of my wits for most of that, but I do remember seeing you go down, and Keyleth filled me in last night.”
“I’m fine, Tibs. It’s to be expected from time to time, in our line of work.”
“Sure, sure, of course there’s always danger, but you were pretty much down for the count! Are you sure you’re alright, my friend? Should we have Pike take a look at you?”
Vax shrugged off Tiberius’s hand. “Look, Tibs, it’s not that I don’t appreciate your concern –“
“But you don’t want to talk about it?” Tiberius interrupted, nodding sagely. “Ah, I understand completely. Say no more. Unless you want to. Later, I mean.” He huffed again. “What I mean is, I’m here for you. We don’t always see eye to eye, but I’m your friend, for my part.”
Vax smiled a bit at this awkward declaration. “Thanks, Tibsy. I’ll let you know.”
“Alright. Good. Yes….hmm.” Tiberius started to sway a bit. He hiccupped loudly, the sound echoing across the battlements. “Well…I shhhould…hmm. I sshould do shomething…right? Hmm…prepare?”
“Tibs? You alright?”
“Yesh, yesh, perfectly –“hiccup! “Perfectly…fine. Hmm. Actually, no. Nope, not fine. Dizshy?” Tiberus nodded and his spectacles flew off his face. He wobbled and fell against the parapet. Vax leapt to steady him, afraid he would fall off the wall.
“Tiberius?”
The dragonborn began muttering, a series of slurred syllables that Vax couldn’t make out. He checked the flask. It was more than half empty, and he’d only had a sip himself. Ugh, Keyleth is going to murder me.
“Vax? Tiberius?” As if summoned, Keyleth’s voice floated up from the courtyard below.
Vax grimaced. “Yeah, up here, Keyleth.”
Keyleth’s head appeared at the top of the ladder a few moments later, amber eyes inquisitive. “What are you two doing up here? We’ve got work to do!”
As soon as he saw her, Tiberius grinned widely, the expression almost grotesque on his lizard-like face. “Your Highnessh!” he exclaimed, rushing over to her and enveloping her in an enormous hug. “You…you’re…favorite! Pretty. Pretty face…” Tiberius’ voice drifted off as he reached out one finger to lightly touch Keyleth’s cheek.
Keyleth’s face went from surprise to disgust in an instant. “Tiberius! Don’t touch me—stop it!” She shoved him away from her and looked at Vax. He noticed the two tiny wrinkles that appeared between her eyebrows when she got extremely irritated – which admittedly wasn’t that often. “What is wrong with him?” she demanded.
“I, um…I gave him a drink,” Vax said sheepishly.
“What?!”
“I didn’t think he’d take it! But I offered and he said yes!”
“Yesh, Your Highnessh. This….shituation called for something…shtronger than water,” Tiberius said, straightening as best he could but still a bit wobbly.
“You know he doesn’t drink, Vax,” Keyleth said.
“Yeah, well he’s a grown man…er, dragon? Whatever. The point is, who am I to tell him no?”
Keyleth huffed in frustration. Tiberius flung another arm around her shoulders, which she hastily ducked away from.
“Your Highness, I just adore you. I love protecting you. It’s my favorite job,” Tiberius said.
Keyleth sputtered, torn between her frustration with his recent behavior and her fondness for the dragonborn. “Tiberius, I am not in the mood for you right now. After what you did yesterday to that old woman –“
Vax took that moment of distraction to slip away from the battlements back into the castle. No way was he sticking around for that. He was already in too much trouble.