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The air was slightly cool but just humid enough for discomfort, like any big party would be.
Ryan was leaning against a wall, his head pounding from the bright lights mixed with the alcohol he had consumed not too long before.
It wasn’t that much; he didn’t like drinking.
But not drinking often made him a major lightweight, practically unable to walk straight from only around three drinks.
Of what? He didn’t really remember; it could’ve been something strong.
He had come with his girlfriend, or whatever she was to him.
Things were complicated; he definitely wasn’t the best boyfriend in the world, far from it actually. There were multiple occasions where he’d find himself standing over her in an unpleasant way after doing something just as bad.
She still stayed; she loved him, and sometimes he even pretended to love her too.
He scanned the room a little; she was nowhere to be seen, just wonderful for him.
Ryan sighed and sank back into the wall more, slumping down on the floor under it, curling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.
Brendon wasn’t too far away, hanging out with two of his friends, Jon and Spencer.
Ryan was their friend too; he just hadn’t seen him the whole time, figuring he was too busy with his girlfriend or something along that line.
Spencer was in the middle of a sentence; he didn’t know what he was talking about and was a little bit out of it due to alcohol as well.
But then he saw him.
Ryan.
Brendon gave Spencer a slight pat on the shoulder, quickly walking away and over to the wall where Ryan was sitting.
The younger boy sat down beside him, tilting his head a bit as he spoke.
“What are you doing over here by yourself? You could’ve just come over there with us if your girlfriend ditched you or something.”
He joked, punching Ryan playfully.
Ryan looked up at Brendon, squinting his eyes a little. God, was he really that drunk?
When he realized who he was talking to, he quickly looked away.
“I just wanted to be alone for some time.”
He mumbled, his eyes shifting to glance at Brendon again; he was so pretty sometimes.
“Did you want to go home then? You seem like you need to.”
Brendon offered; he was more used to drinking than Ryan was, so he could obviously drive him back if he wanted him to.
Ryan thought for a second, nodding in response.
“Yeah, I think I should.”
He got up, stumbling a bit.
Brendon got up right after him, grabbing his arm and holding it tightly.
“Come on, I’ll walk you to the car.”
Ryan rolled his eyes at him, allowing him to guide him through the crowded room.
Once they made it outside, they both got into the car, and Brendon started it, driving off.
Ryan stared out the window most of the time, not really saying much but a few responses to the random questions Brendon would continuously throw out.
In a friendly way, because he wanted to talk to him since they were such good friends.
“So, where was your girlfriend?”
He asked, which quickly snapped Ryan back into reality.
“I don’t know; I didn’t see her at all after she got me drunk.”
“What? Did she think you’d wanna fuck her then?”
Brendon laughed, glancing over to see Ryan giving him an unamused look.
“Sorry.”
He quickly added, turning back to stare at the road.
“How’d you let her convince you to do that?”
Ryan just shrugged, crossing his arms.
“I guess I just felt bad; I mean, she wanted to do something with me.”
Brendon laughed again, but this time it sounded kind of forced.
“I can’t ever tell if you really love her or not.”
His tone still had some type of hope; somewhere deep down, maybe he thought that Ryan might think of him differently.
Ryan didn’t respond to that; he just turned back to the window and idly looked out of it.
He definitely heard him, though.
When they arrived at Ryan’s house, it was still quiet; not a word had been spoken since then.
Ryan opened the car door and got out, starting to walk to the front door until…
“Wait!”
Brendon suddenly called out from inside of the car, causing Ryan to stop and turn back to look at him.
He looked a little nervous.
“Is it okay if I come in? You know, we could hang out a little.”
The older boy narrowed his eyes, obviously confused as to why Brendon was asking him that in the first place.
“What time is it?”
“1:00AM.”
Ryan had no idea why he would even want to stay out this late, but he…
“Yeah, alright.”
He still ended up agreeing; how could he say no to Brendon? His best friend.
Brendon got out of the car and followed Ryan to the door, and Ryan opened it as soon as he got there, grabbing his arm and pulling him inside, shutting the door back quietly.
“Is your dad awake?”
Brendon asked in a whispering tone; he knew how Ryan’s dad was, and he didn’t want to do anything wrong.
“No, but I don’t want to wake him, so come on.”
Ryan whispered back, leading Brendon upstairs and into his room, closing the door behind them.
“Why’d you ask to stay anyways?”
He asked, walking over to his bed and collapsing on it, shoving his face into one of the pillows.
“I don’t know, I just didn’t want you to be alone.”
Brendon replied, sitting down next to Ryan.
Ryan looked up from the pillow and laughed at him a little.
“You don’t have to worry about me; if I was that drunk, I’d be having a breakdown right now.”
He joked, knowing Brendon would get it.
And he did, because they were such good friends.
“So, what’s the real reason?”
Brendon laughed a little nervously, looking away from Ryan.
“Can’t just hang out with you without having some big reason now?”
“I never said that; it’s just really early.”
Ryan sat up and started to mess with Brendon’s hair.
Brendon swallowed hard, feeling himself start to burn up.
“Right, yeah…”
He responded, too distracted to say something meaningful.
“How much did you drink?”
Ryan asked, emphasizing the “you” in that sentence.
“Just a few beers, you know I can handle it.”
Ryan got closer to Brendon, close enough to touch him even more.
“I know you can.”
Brendon looked Ryan up and down, leaning back on the bed a little.
“What are you doing?”
He asked, his tone both confused and intrigued.
Ryan moved his hands down to Brendon’s waist, holding it gently as he got on top of him, resting his head on the younger boy’s shoulder.
“Nothing.”
Brendon could feel himself getting hard, shifting a bit in response to better hide that from Ryan.
“You’re kind of close, don’t you think?”
He laughed nervously, moving his hands to wrap around Ryan’s neck almost instinctively.
Ryan leaned up from Brendon’s shoulder, staring at him.
“You like it.”
“What makes you think that?”
And then Brendon felt something touching his painfully hard dick.
It was Ryan’s knee, pressed right up against it.
Once he realized, he quickly pushed Ryan off.
“I’m sorry!”
He said, quickly closing his legs tight.
Ryan grabbed at Brendon’s knee, moving his legs apart again.
“What? Are you scared?”
He giggled, getting back on top of him and placing his knee in the same spot.
Brendon let out a little whimper at the contact, grabbing onto the older boy.
“R-Ryan…”
His mind was clouded for just a second; every fantasy he had ever shamefully had was coming true, and he loved it.
Ryan leaned forward, just above Brendon’s mouth, just about to kiss him.
Brendon quickly came to his senses, holding a hand out to stop Ryan from getting closer.
“Ry, you have a girlfriend.”
Ryan moved back a bit, but he was still on top of Brendon.
“So what?”
The younger boy sighed; all of those thoughts that tormented him on the daily were rapidly coming back, and as much as he hated it, he had to say them out loud.
“Aren’t you straight?”
He asked, dreading what he thought the answer would be.
It was quiet, and Ryan looked away from him for a moment.
“I…”
He began, struggling with his words.
“Don’t know.”
Brendon looked at him, moving to the side to get a better view since his face was turned away.
He didn’t know what to say; he thought that Ryan was definitely straight. He had dated plenty of girls; sure, he didn’t really seem into them, but he’s fucked them on multiple occasions.
Ryan turned to face Brendon, grabbing his waist.
“Are we doing this or not?”
He asked, but it was in a firm way.
Brendon had nothing else to think about other than how badly he wanted Ryan, no matter what the circumstances were.
So, he just nodded, giving him full permission to do whatever he wanted.
Ryan leaned in again, and their lips connected. It was a deep and tender kiss, seeping with the utmost need.
When they both pulled away, Ryan could’ve sworn there were stars in Brendon’s eyes.
“Was that okay—“
“Do it again.”
Brendon demanded, grabbing onto Ryan’s shirt roughly.
Ryan started to kiss him again, this time pushing him back into the bed, grinding his knee against Brendon’s dick.
Brendon let out muffled whines and moans, his hands desperately moving along Ryan’s back, trying to find a sense of stability.
It was all so much for him in the best way possible, everything that he’d ever wanted from Ryan.
Ryan broke the kiss and moved down to Brendon’s neck, sucking at it gently, his grip on the younger boy’s neck tightening.
“Ry…”
Brendon gasped, starting to hump against Ryan’s knee a bit, needing even more pleasure than he was already receiving.
“You’re such a whore when you act like that.”
Ryan laughed, and then he bit down on Brendon’s neck, his teeth sinking into his delicate skin, breaking it and drawing blood.
“Fuck, Ryan!”
Brendon yelled out, scratching at Ryan’s back harshly, probably leaving marks on him.
Ryan quickly put a hand over his mouth.
“You don’t want us to get in trouble, right?”
Brendon just shook his head.
Ryan moved his hand and placed it back on the other’s waist, leaning back in to kiss him again.
Brendon melted into the kiss, continuing to grind himself against Ryan.
Everything about what they were doing felt so right; no matter how wrong it was, they knew they both needed this more than anything.
And Ryan would be lying if he said that he never looked at Brendon in that way, because deep down, he knew it would always be him.
Always be him that he truly wanted.
Brendon sped up his movements, basically losing it against Ryan until he finally finished.
Ryan pulled away from Brendon, and he moaned out loud, collapsing on top of Ryan.
His breathing was heavy as he lay against Ryan’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, which was just about as fast as his.
Ryan didn’t speak; he just fell back on the bed, wrapping his arms around Brendon.
“I won’t say anything about it; it’s our secret, okay?”
Brendon whispered, rubbing his head against Ryan slightly.
“Our secret.”
Ryan nodded, his grip on Brendon getting slightly tighter.