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Susie could taste the blood in her mouth, the metallic taste coming from the bottom of her lip.
“Fuck,” she muttered, but made it loud and clear to Ross, whose nose was somewhat bleeding, not broken.
Ross scoffed, balancing his cool and his anger together, “It’s not my fault you can’t keep an eye on your brother.”
This is the first time they’ve fought without Roy being involved. Their arguments that sometimes happened were strictly verbal. Sometimes pointing fingers, sometimes ending with one of them flipping each other off. This was not either, instead, a conversation that was meant to console the two slowly turned into a heated, not-friendly argument that turned physical.
—
Ross volunteered to confront Susie through her window—for him to be at the door would raise an eyebrow from her grandpa. He only wanted him, his group and Susie to make amends after one of their “playful banters” that involved her brother, Pump.
To be fair, Roy was the only one who talked down on Pump, so it was all Roy’s fault.
To not be fair, he was too scared to apologize, confronting the older sister of someone he relentlessly teased without being called out, until now. Maybe the second time, who knows.
“You have to do this man, this was your fault—“
“I can’t!”
“Why not?” Robert swiftly asked, “You can’t keep getting into trouble, you know.”
Roy crossed his arms, “It’s not a good time,” mumbling under his breath.
“It is a good time,” Ross interjected, rough and clearly tired from the back and forth bickering.
“And if you won’t do it, I will,” he said as he walked up to Susie’s porch, a fist on standby, ready to knock on the door.
“What if her grandpa answers?” Robert asked, “He’ll probably ask a lot about you to get to Susie, since—“
“Then I’m going to the window,” Ross abruptly answered, immediately walking to the side of the house.
Ross picked up his pace immediately towards the house, “Fucking hell,” he muttered.
—
And here he was, here they were in her bedroom, fist to fist.
“You don’t know how god damn long this has taken a toll on me, on me and my fucking brother,” Susie responded sharply, shoving Ross harsh in the process, his back hitting her desk and as he groaned in pain, he must’ve gotten a bruise by now.
Ross scoffed, practically mocking Susie, “How the hell would we know about that? Huh?”
Grabbing Susie by the forearm before she could shove him closer to desk, he threw her to the table, hitting her side.
Susie held the side of her waist in pain, groaning at the agony before pushing Ross away from her.
At a strange timing, the voice of someone started yelling at the moment, inaudible words into the microphone. Accompanied by drums and the screech of a harsh guitar riff played like a sudden flash, strengthening the two’s anger as the mood shifted to fury.
It was music, the kind the two can agree listening to without fighting over the aux. Only this time, they were really fighting.
“You’re an asshole,” She spat back, “You’re lucky none of them are at home right now.”
Ross wiped his nose, “Fuck you, Susie,” he responded back, the bitter taste in his mouth as he said her name, as if it was a bad omen.
Just like that, Susie pushed Ross to the ground, holding him down with her strength as she brought her hands around his neck, her grip slowly tightening. She didn’t press on the position to choke him. Regardless, it hurt like fire, and breathing was reaching the impossible.
The angry instrumentals of the song were lively and almost ecstatic in the moment, the perfect song as a soundtrack for a fight sequence, the greatest tune to represent resentment for one another. It yelled directly in their ears like it was sending a message, almost irritating, but energy-boosting at the same time.
Ross kicked and made as much noise as he could, only cursing inaudible curse words under his breath, but Susie held on, scarily focused. Ross dug his nails deep into her skin until it drew blood. When it drew blood, she hissed at the pain, but determination between the two still continued, Nobody dared to lose. Susie could feel the tears form around her eyes.
The music coming from Susie’s phone echoed around them, the earbuds might’ve disconnected during their fight.
—
Ross quickly knocked on Susie’s window the minute he saw it. Looking through the glass was her, fixated on what was on her desk. A scramble of art materials left around, while a monitor and a tablet stood tall in front of her. She seemed so focused before hearing the swift taps from her window—possibly trying to divert herself from earlier.
She looked out to the glass pane, surprised that Ross was there, immediately frowning in annoyance when she realized Ross was here.
Getting up and lifting up the window hatch, she didn’t greet him or anything. The thud of the window brutally hitting its stopping point was clear enough.
“What do you want,” Susie said, sharp and cold and almost demanding. She seemed to already put two and two together to know why he was here; to make things right between her and his group before cold shoulders began. After all, this town is not that huge. They can bump into each other anytime and anywhere.
Ross stuttered at first, before regaining himself and giving the tone back, but more soft spoken, “I want to apologize,” his hands holding on the edge between the outside and the inside of the house.
“I’m sorry about how he acted. He’s sorry too and is just reckless when he speaks—“ He already messed up.
“Oh my god,” Susie laughed to herself, as if this was some sort of a joke, “You always say that,” she added, “You keep saying that.”
Susie held onto the window, lifting it down to close. Ross held the window to a halt, preventing her from closing it, leaving half an open space to still hear him.
“But it’s true! I swear just give him time to improve, please,” Ross whispered at the last word, practically begging.
Susie wasn’t having it, letting go and backing away from the window as she spoke, inviting him in if he was really sincere, “You’re so ridiculous,” she said, “Defending your friend. If he’s really sorry too, why are you the one who's here?”
Ross stood there for a moment, stumbling more on the words he tried putting together, “I—I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
Then, he took the invitation, lifting open the window fully and awkwardly climbing in while he could feel the distant glares of his friends from afar, “I don’t know, okay? Just—he finds—it’s difficult for him to express his sincerity?” Ross said.
Susie crossed her arms, “You need to control your friend, man. Tell him to fix himself.”
“We tried,” Ross added, “He said it’s been rough, but he’s trying. I swear, Susie. He just might need time,” he stated.
Susie clenched her fists, “Well, is he using that time? It sure didn’t seem like it when he kept lying and picking on my brother and his friend!” She mocked back, “You sure as hell aren’t doing anything.”
“Susie,” Ross said, his voice raising more than it should be, “He’s trying his best to—“
“Fucking liar,” Susie pointed a finger at him, if he were to raise his voice, she could stoop to his level too, “How could I believe you if you keep coming back like this?”
——
She doesn’t have intentions to kill him, she didn’t even want him dead. Just giving him a peace of his own mind, however the saying went, Ross knows that. They both know that they can’t bring the courage to kill each other, even if and unless they were the last people on earth.
He finally croaked out clear words, “Susie.” The signal of defeat, or giving up, or the sign of having enough.
That’s why Susie loosened her grip, her hands setting down on his shoulders, head down with a blurry vision, allowing Ross to catch his breath. She moved off of Ross, dragging herself to sit beside him—holding her side as she winced in pain. By tomorrow, she was sure a bruise would show up there.
Ross fell into a coughing fit, holding his neck and gasping for air as his eyes simultaneously started watering. Susie could only watch him with sorrow, wiping off any signs of tears streaming down her face.
“Are you done?” Susie asked coldly, the taste of disdain still in her voice.
Ross’ coughing gradually slowed, returning to a normal pace of breathing, “Fuck—yeah,” he coughed out, leaning his back on the side of the bed.
And then they sat there on the ground, shoulder to shoulder at a distance. Nobody dared to speak, letting the steam of their temper cool out on its own. Until one of them heard a faint, but loud enough to hear of a flicker.
Susie turned to face Ross—who had a matching bleeding lip as her—hold the end of a lighter to the end of a cigarette, attempting to light it up.
Susie scoffed at his miserable attempts.
“Holy shit,” she taunted, slurring parts of her words, “That lighter is so weak.”
“So much for stealing it from my dad,” Ross flicked the lighter multiple times, shaking it from the end midway through the struggle, as if it would help.
Susie crouched up for a bit, reaching for whatever was on her desk until she felt a familiar, metallic material in her palm. Sitting back down to her place, Susie waved a different lighter in front of Ross’ face.
“Don’t ask why I have one.”
Ross took the lighter and finally lit his cigarette successfully, “Didn’t even know you smoke.”
“I don’t,” Susie replied, watching the puff of smoke fade away, “I used it for my art project.”
Ross thought about it for a moment—in what way did an art project ever need a lighter?
The lighter didn’t look cheap at all, it seemed more expensive than the average plastic lighters that stood at the front desk of a cash register. It looked premium; the box-shape with floral designs and the weight of the metal resting on his palm, the high quality of it. Someone in that family had to smoke at least once.
He brushed it off, looking at the cigarette between his fingers. Ross shuffled closer to Susie and held out the cigarette to her, a sign of regular offering or a peace offering.
Ross spoke warmly, "I'm sorry,” and turned his head to Susie, “We cool?”
Susie eyed back and forth at the roll and at Ross—his lip having the same split as her, and his nose stained light blood underneath. Maybe she was bleeding internally somewhere, the side of her torso pulsed with pain, but shrugged it off.
Another tune played, this time a bit more softer than the last one. The instruments were loud, but way better than ones that felt like they were shoving down one’s throat.
Smiling back, she took the cigarette off his hands, too tired to care that his lips were on it, accepting his good-enough apology, “Yeah, I’m sorry too.”
“Especially for going at you,” she then told him.
“Me too,” Ross hummed, accepting it and wiping a tear stain off her cheek.
Maybe his eyeliner might’ve messed up. At least if it did, he would look pretty metal.
Susie brought the roll to her lips, puffing out and quietly coughing, so much for the first time smoking, but at least it helped her relax. Ross moved his hand away from her.
The gust of wind entered the room uninvited, a breeze of cold hitting the two directly. Susie shivered at the change in temperature, shuffling closer to the only one in the room with her, no energy to get up and shut the window.
“Hey, this is the playlist I sent you,” Ross pointed out, he seemed to pay attention to the tracks being played during their fight.
Susie rotated the cigarette back to Ross, “Yeah, you listen to this stuff too?”
“Hell yeah,” Ross answered, overjoyed that he found someone who liked the same genre as him. Although, the nonchalant demeanour masked it all.
They let the music sink in, it felt ethereal and like a whiplash right after their argument, yet hard-hitting and tough. The track was singing clear lyrics that were easier to hear, a sweet change of pace after all that fighting.
“What happened to Robert and Roy?” Susie asked, deadpanned at the sound of her saying that last boy’s name.
Ross forgot about them, completely forgetting they were waiting outside for him.
He pulled his phone out on cue, “I’ll just text them to go home.”
“We don’t have to forgive each other this quickly, y’know?” Susie said to him.
“I know,” Ross shrugged, “But you’re pretty cool.”
“Wow,” Susie joked, reaching for the cigarette, bringing it to her lips again, “Which one?”
Ross chuckled, “Why not both?”
The two softly laughed on the floor a moment, sharing the cigarette that seemed to endlessly work—the new lighter might’ve put some sort of magic on it.
—
The next day, the group sat at the bench in front of a candy shop. An empty box of chocolate in front of the three.
“Dude…” Roy sighed down at the empty box in his hands, “You ate all of it.”
“I didn’t have dinner,” Robert said, regret in his voice and his face, fidgeting with his fingers, “Sorry guys.”
The cut on Ross’ lip was more noticeable from the bright lights of the store. He didn’t forget the look of concern and shock from the two when he showed up. At least his nose had stopped bleeding, but it was semi-obvious and felt more light weight on him. Ross just told them he fell face first when he went inside. He couldn’t help but laugh to himself when he thought about how he looked to them.
“It’s okay,” Ross assured, “We could go back for another.”
“Weren’t you almost banned from the candy store?”
A voice in front of them answered, a voice distinctly familiar.
Looking up was someone they remembered from yesterday; the curls of her hair like waves in the water. The pink in her outfit, the look of annoyance from yesterday remained. The three of them tensed up. Though, mainly Robert and Roy.
“Since when were we almost banned?” Roy whispered, earning a glare from the two.
Susie looked at the three, her eyebrows slightly furrowed and blank at their pause. She then held out a box of chocolate, the same variant Robert just devoured.
“Want some?” Susie chewed between the chocolate in her mouth, tossing the box to Roy, who caught it on command and opened it, a freshly new box of chocolate bought from the store.
“Thanks,” Roy said astounded, Susie shrugged her shoulders in return.
Susie moved towards the end of the bench, Ross moved and nudged everyone else to move over as Susie sat beside him, browsing through her phone.
The three looked at each other, then looked at Susie confusingly, just yesterday she had caught them—mostly Roy—midway through swapping Pump and Skid’s costumes again. Now, she offered her sweets as if it had never happened.
Robert stared across Roy and Ross, the neon brightness of the store glistened around the four. Taking a glimpse, the split on Susie’s lips stuck out like a sore thumb, still dry to bleed, yet still new. He looked at Ross' face, who was busy eating his handful of chocolate.
They seemed content with one another, able to make small—but really, tiny—talks with one another, yet both still looked as if they came back fresh out of a fight. Puzzlement ran all over his mind trying to comprehend what happened that day.
Roy followed where Robert was looking, then the two looked back at each other again, more lost than ever for the duration of sitting on that bench. A silent agreement formed between the two to text each other about this.
“Hey,” Susie said to all of them now, “You guys wanna go eat?”
A collective agreement from the group responded to Susie, followed by a lot of head nodding and mumbling to one another.
“Sure,” Ross spoke for the group. A temporary—and hopefully a permanent—sign of being on good terms.