Chapter Text
CHAPTER 1
| Mourning the lost of you. |
August 2, 2021.
It’s been a week since the so-called ‘savior of all’ killed the villain. Everybody celebrated nationwide for the downfall of the once mighty and nefarious bad guy who was thought to be invincible. Parties were planned, banquets were held. Even a statue was being built of the hero himself, Chuuya— right where the villain, Dazai or rather Oniko took his last breath.
It was the last day of Oniko’s casket before it was going to be lowered to the ground at the Everlone cemetery. His coffin was presented at the St. Benedict’s church. Black and red roses, spider lilies covered his casket— those were the flowers he had always adored.
Only a few visited him in the last six days, none really stayed, until now. A figure wearing a black hood, stood at the side of the closed coffin. Tears seemed to be falling down his eyes.
You must be wondering, how could this be? How could someone cry over the wicked man who brought pain and misery to all? Why? Why would they cry over this cold-hearted person?
It didn’t make any sense, why was this happening? But then…
“My love.” The hooded figure whispered as he held onto the wooden casket of Dazai‘s.
It suddenly made sense.. They were his lover.
“I’m so sorry… this is all my fault.” they whispered once again.
Why was it their fault? they couldn’t have been the one that killed him, Chuuya did.
…
Chuuya did.
The figure removed his hood, it was the hero, his so called ‘enemy’, but none other than the love of his life.
“I’m so sorry, my love..” He cried, his voice breaking. His despair made his nails dig into the casket.
“I should’ve found a way to get us two out of this..I shouldn’t have been so naive and so—” He sobbed.
The puzzle pieces started to fit. The enemy and the hero were in love. It was just.. forbidden. They were condemned to fighting each other instead of being free to love one another. How could fate be so cruel to them?
“In another life my love, please.” Chuuya begged desperately.
“Please..” his voice trailed off. His eyes squinted, forcing the tears to trail down his cheek, tainting it.
The hero wiped his tears and closed his eyes. He wanted to see his love for the last time even if it would hurt. He wanted to say one last goodbye.
Chuuya held onto the casket, his lover’s watch in his hands. And opened it as well as his eyes. He was horrified by the sight. He took two steps back and fell to the floor, still clenching the watch given by his Dazai. What he saw was not the body of his love, but an empty casket.
“W-what-” The hero stuttered— unable to finish his words, his eyes dilated and his heartbeat fast. His body shivering trailing from the lower back of his spine going upwards. He was shaking, everywhere.
“F-Fuck-” Chuuya clenched his heart.
“This can’t be.. if he isn’t here then— when,? where,?? how.” He continued his tight grip. His hand clenching his heart on the left, and the pocket watch on his right.
A wave of emotions washed over him. Confusion? Anger? Doubt? Relief? He didn’t know.
But he knew he had one question he was certain of inside his bewildered mind.
Where the hell did Osamu Dazai go?
—————————————————————
August 1, 2019.
“C’mon Dazaiii, it’ll be funn~” Hitoshi insisted, he was seated at a swivel chair, slowly moving his chair making it turn side to side. His fingers formed a rectangular shape, his gaze was looking past the rectangle, focused on the young man. It was almost like he was observing Osamu.
“I don’t have time for unnecessary relationship bullshit, Hitoshi. Also I would prefer If you wouldn’t call me Dazai.” He said sneering at him, clearly annoyed at his friend’s attempt into getting him into a ‘date’.
“Rightttt, right, Oniko” Hitoshi exasperated then proceeded to roll his eyes.
“But really, dude. You really need to get into the dating game.” He said, before taking a nail file out of his pocket and continuing to file his nails.
“And plus, it could really help your public identity, you know. Rumor has it, the ‘Heir of the Osamu family’ seems to be a bit closed off, you know, like someone who refuses to see light? you know what I mean.”
He says, continuing to file his nails.
“I don’t seem to be following, Hitoshi.” Dazai says, his eyebrow slightly lifted up higher than the other, showcasing a confused look.
He just stares at him blankly. “They think you’re a vampire, or some bullshit.”
“A vampire? What nonsense. Is that the best that they could come up with? not like, ‘the wicked villain’ they all have been talking about?” He asked, his look a mix of both annoyance and surprise. He was baffled at how they thought he was a fucking vampire instead of thinking of the more evident reason, you know— like being the fucking villain.
“How deranged of them to think so. Vampires are merely mythical creatures that don't exist– so how could they think that I am one? How ridiculous.” Dazai’s face contorted to more annoyance than confusion. His hand was clenching his pocket watch.
“I mean I can see it from their view,” Hitoshi mumbled before standing up from the chair he was seated on. He then started to slowly walk around Dazai.
“You’re insanely quiet.” He started to list down, pointing at his pinky finger to count. “You stay away from the outside world“ He said, now pointing at his ring finger which had a simple silver ring around it.
He began to list more reasons on why people assumed he was a vampire.
“And you barely stick around other people.” He said before walking back to his swivel chair and plopping down. God, he loved that stupid chair.
Dazai just pinches the space between his eyebrows and sighed. “And your point is.?”
“You need to socialize, Dazai- oop, sorry. I meant Oniko, anyways— cuz the more they try to formulate more theories, the bigger the chance your identity gets revealed.” Hitoshi says, looking at Dazai seriously while swiveling his chair once more.
“So I need to date someone?” Dazai said, skeptical. He was a bit.. uneasy with this plan.
“Exactly my point. If they see you socializing or rather— dating someone, they’ll be less skeptical of who you are and they’ll be more focused on your new partner.” Hitoshi said grinning, loving his idea. He was always quite the prideful guy.
“And you think this will work?” Dazai asked seriously, he was… considering it. One of his eyebrows a bit higher than the other, there was that doubtful look again.
“You never know if you don’t try~ Loosen up, Oniko.” Hitoshi said, his grin growing wider than before.
“And what if this ‘person’ finds out hm?” Dazai asked, trying to counter his argument.
“Then we’ll make sure they won’t.”
“I.. okay, one date. ONLY one date, alright.?” He mumbled, looking at the side before sitting at his office chair.
“YES! okay!” Hitoshi exclaimed, excited to play cupid.
“So I know this person, he’s really nice—“
“Wait.” Dazai cut him off “he?” He asks his grip loosening on his pocket watch.
“Yeah, he.” Hitoshi rolled his eyes. “Be more open with your options, it’s the 21st century for God’s sake.”
“But-” Dazai tried to argue, but of course, there was no use.
“Anyways!- he’s a kind person, has a good personality, ginger— really cute actually.” Hitoshi says, listing up the details about this person.
“I’ll set you up with him.. hmmm.. tomorrow?” He said menacingly.
“What?! tomorrow?? that’s too sudden, Hitoshi—” Dazai debated, he was annoyed and tired. He had put up with his friend’s annoying shit all day, but making the date tomorrow.. can’t he just give him a break?
“The sooner the better!” Hitoshi said, already taking his phone from his pocket to call the person for the date.
“Hitoshi.” Dazai said sternly, but the man had already set the call and left to talk to this guy.
He furrowed his eyebrows and pinched the area between it. “Fucking persistent asshole..” he mumbled, clearly stressed about this situation.
—————————————————————
August 2, 2019.
The orange haired guy sat at a random table, waiting for the date his friend set him up with.
His fingers gently tapped on the table while he looked around.
The cafe was cozy, it had a warm color scheme and it distinctly smelled like coffee beans.
The waiter approached the orange haired boy, holding a small notepad on her left hand, and a pen on her right.
“May I take your order?” The waiter asked politely and let out a genuine smile.
He smiled back and said, “I’m waiting for someone actually. Is it alright if you came back later?”
The waiter smiles and replies. “Of course sir,” she nodded gently before walking away to another table.
After what seemed like a century, (more like an hour.)
His date finally arrived. He was wearing a dark brown coat, with a white polo, brown pants, a black belt and a pair of loafers. He had brown hair, curls at the end of it, and his eye had the color of dark brown. He was pretty handsome, the ginger could say. He also wore a couple of bandages wrapped around both his arms and one on his right eye– it piqued his curiosity..
The brunette boy walked to the ginger’s table before pulling the chair in front of him and sitting down.
“Hey.” The orange haired boy smiled, extending his hand to shake the brunette’s.
“I’m Chuuya Nakahara.” He said before feeling the grasp of the brunette’s hand wrap around his.
“ ’m Dazai Osamu.” The brown haired boy let out a soft smile, continuing to shake his hand.
This is the day that Osamu Dazai and Chuuya Nakahara have met the person they would consider the love of their life for the rest of the time that they would live.
—————————————————————
Chuuya was sitting at his desk, currently researching something on his table.
“Ah.. so that night..” Chuuya mumbled and mumbled.
Currently, he is really invested with his work. He flipped page after page, wrote notes— and scribbled them. Chuuya is a very dedicated and talented lawyer, no wonder a lot of people want him when it comes to defending in court.
Although.. What he was researching was not about a case— no, it was about ‘Oniko’ , a known villain.
You may wonder.. Why?
…You’ll figure it out soon enough.
“Screw it.” he mumbled tiringly. He’s been up since 10:00 yesterday, it’s 3:49pm. He hasn’t slept even an hour. He needed a break.
Chuuya grabbed his phone and plopped down on his bed, he placed his phone on his bedside table.
As he was about to fall asleep, a ring came from his phone. He grabbed another pillow to shield his ears but the sound just kept getting louder. Chuuya sighed and removed the pillow from his head. The ginger took his phone from the bedside table.
‘Hitoshi.’ The caller id read, of course it was him.
He groaned and answered the call.
“Hitoshi..” he mumbled, annoyed. “What do you fucking want.?” He asked but his words were incoherent due to the fact his head was face planted on the pillow.
“I don’t know what the hell you just said but I’m gonna set you up on a date tomorrow with a friend.!~” Hitoshi said giddly. You could imagine his large smile behind the phone.
Chuuya’s eyes widened, his sleepiness wearing off.
“A date??” He exclaimed, his head no longer buried on his pillow but sitting up.
“Hitoshi—” He groaned, he wanted to sleep, not worry about a stupid date.
“I’m really busy, I can’t—” He debated, “tomorrow is too sudden.”
“C’mon pleasee Chuuyaaa?~” He begged, Chuuya could already imagine his pleading and puppy eyes behind the phone.
“This could be a uhm.. early birthday gift!~”
“Your birthday is in 5 months, Hito.” Chuuya grumbled, annoyed.
“PLEASEE, you won’t regret it!!” Hitoshi said determinedly, he wanted Chuuya to get on this date.
“I.. okay, tomorrow.” He sighed “Just text me the details, alright?”
“Yes!~ thanks Chuuyaaaa!~” Hitoshi exclaimed in joy.
“I’ll text you the details!~ heh!~” He said before ending the call.
Chuuya was left there, phone in hand sitting on the side of his bed.
‘A date hm..’ his mind thought, he was interested in seeing what would happen.. How would this play out?
Chuuya sighed and laid back on his bed, trying to sleep once more, but of course he couldn’t. His face had a slight annoyance written on it. He couldn’t sleep. “Stupid Hitoshi.” He mumbled before smiling slightly, looking forward to it. Maybe he needed a change in his lifestyle, who knows.
—————————————————————
Dazai walked into the small cafe, familiar with his surroundings. He’d visit this place maybe once or twice a month to get their delicious coffee.
There he spotted the ginger his friend mentioned, his hair had a long part that cascaded down his shoulder. His eyes had different colors, ‘he had heterochromia’ Dazai thought. Looking at the unique combination his eye color had, reddish brown and blue.
He was wearing a long sleeved white shirt, light-ish brown pants and a pair of normal shoes. A simple look. Dazai was wearing a dark brown coat, with a white polo, brown pants, a black belt and a pair of loafers.
He was a bit overdressed, he had to admit.
Dazai sat in front of the ginger before noticing his hand extended in front of him.
“I’m Chuuya Nakahara,” the orange haired boy said, smiling at him.
Dazai let out a small smile back, before wrapping his hand around his and saying.
“’m Dazai Osamu.” While continuing to shake his hand.
After a few seconds they both let go, Dazai looked at Chuuya while he was calling at the waiter.
Not gonna lie, Dazai thought— he was pretty cute, maybe his type even— he thought again but immediately dismissing it, “What the hell was I thinking?” he mumbled before letting it slip out of his mind.
The waiter arrived holding a notepad and a pen,
waiting for their orders to be said.
“I’ll take a um.. Latte with extra milk and cream.”
Chuuya looked in front of him, directly at Dazai’s eyes and smiled.
“How about you, Dazai-kun?”
The brunette smiled back.
“I’ll take the same, no extras though.” He said while looking at the waiter, then proceeding to look at Chuuya.
The waiter nods at the two with a smile and walks away, going back behind the counter to inform the barista’s of the orders.
“So..” Chuuya said, rubbing the back of his head
‘This is kinda awkward,’ he thought, the silence between them deafening.
“How are you.?” He asked Dazai.
“I’m okay.” The brunette smiled at him again.
God, that smile. Chuuya thought— it was sooo hot..
The way his eyes squinted, creating creases on the corner. The way his lips looked so soft, looking so gentle— Fuck, Chuuya was definitely attracted to his looks.
Then Dazai asked him, ”How ‘bout you?”
He noticed the circles under his eyes. Chuuya looked really tired, like he doesn’t sleep at all..
“ ‘m fine.” Chuuya replied, taking a sip from the coffee
“Mmm. Are you sure.?” Dazai asked, he was skeptical. He looked so burnt out.
“You look really tired.”
“Ah, yeah, It’s for work.” He said, taking another sip from his coffee.
“Oh.” Dazai’s eyebrow was raised higher than the other, he looked interested in what Chuuya’s work was.
“What’s your work.?” He asked, also taking a sip into his coffee.
“I’m a lawyer,” He answered, “I have cases..” He lied, he hasn't had a case for a while— but of course he knew that he couldn’t tell the actual reason to a random stranger he just met on a date— No, he had to be careful about it.
“Ahh, I see.” Dazai said understandingly, then he continued to take a sip of his coffee.
For a while they chatted, mutual feelings were shared, laughter came at some times— they were bonding, it was a good thing.
Dazai couldn’t ignore how beautiful his eyes looked, it was unique to say at least, each color complimented the color of his hair..
The reddish brown and the blue.. they were gorgeous on him..
The way his eyes squinted whenever he smiled or laughed— Osamu Dazai was mesmerized, the way his date looked— it felt like he was answering a siren’s call.
Chuuya called the waiter again, his hand raised.
He looked dignified and proper as he did so, his position poised, posture relaxed but pleasing to the eyes.
As the waiter approached, he lifted his coffee cup from the table and took his last sip. He then placed his cup down.
Chuuya looked at the waiter as she arrived.
He asked her, “could you wrap this up for me?” gesturing towards his cup.
The waiter nodded and smiled as she took the cup from him.
“Of course.” she said and looked at Dazai.
“How about you sir?,” she asked, wondering if he had needed anything or also wished for him to put his coffee into a to-go cup.
“No, thank you.” he said, still looking at Chuuya, but his head facing the waiter.
The waiter nods and walks away, going behind the counter to put the coffee into a to-go cup.
“Leaving so soon?” Dazai said with a smirk,
“and here I thought you were enjoying my company.”
He said, teasing Chuuya. Clearly, he was getting a bit comfortable with him.
Chuuya saw his smirk and returned his expression with a smile.
“No,” he replied. “I’ll just take half to go since if I finish it in one sitting my tummy would feel funny.”
Dazai looks at him, pausing a bit. His eyebrow was higher than the other, he then asked,
“Are you sure you’re not just lactose intolerant.?”
Chuuya’s smile dropped slightly and paused.
“….oh.” He replied. “I haven’t thought of that yet.”
He mumbled, his cheek was getting slightly pink.
Dazai found it cute.
The brunette smiled softly and said, “you could take a test.” He then put his hand through the left part of his hair, feeling the smooth locks glide on his fingers.
“Hm.. yeah, I should.” he smiled, a faint blush still filled his cheeks.
This is the time that Chuuya Nakahara realized that he could’ve been lactose intolerant all this time..
…
“So uhm.. I guess this is where we should exchange numbers.?” Chuuya said, his hand inside his pocket preparing to take his phone. He looked at Dazai, who looked kinda sheepish— Chuuya thought, maybe he didn’t like him? his heart dropped. Was he skeptical about giving him his number? He started overthinking.
Dazai continued to look at him sheepishly,
“I uhm.. don’t have a number.” He said to the ginger, looking away after; which shocked Chuuya.
“You don’t have a number.?”
“Yeah, I prefer letters… but I have an email— you can talk to me there.” Dazai said, and smiled.
“..You prefer letters huh.?” Chuuya asked, taking it into note before proceeding to say, “Yeah, sure I’ll take your email,” and then he smiled.
They then proceeded to exchange their emails.
—————————————————————
July 27, 2021.
“Dazai..” Chuuya mumbled, he was walking in the midnight rain. It was the day after he realized he killed the person he loved the most.
How could he so dumb not to realize that it was him. He was so caught up on plotting vengeance that he didn’t know, he didn’t fucking know— that it was his lover he channeled all his anger on..
He wanted revenge— so he could redeem the two people who ever loved him.
But of course, his revenge had to be aimed towards the person who made him feel love right after he forgot how it felt like.
It wasn’t even his fault, Dazai wasn’t the one who committed the crime, it wasn’t his fault he was born into a fucking cruel family.
Tears filled his eyes and traveled down his cheek.
His hand clenched the locket given by his deceased lover..
His head hung low as he watched his footsteps travel where they wanted him to go.
The rain continued to pour down as he walked, no mercy on the poor ginger. It continued to rain down, stronger.. and stronger.
The rain seemed to be mirroring how the whole world felt for the young hero. Lonely and broken.
Poor Chuuya.. the universe took everyone who ever loved him. His parents.. now Dazai.. Why, why was fate so fucking evil?
Chuuya closed his eyes and let out a shaky sigh, his tears tracing down as he did so.
He opened his eyes, and he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure in front of him.
“My love, don’t cry..” The person said, his voice familiar. It was Dazai.. or so he thought.
“B-Baby.?” Chuuya stuttered, more tears filling up his eyes.
He ran towards the figure, hoping to feel his arms around him— hoping that he would be able to bury his tear-stained face into his shoulder.
But as he tried to hug him— he disappeared.
“NO!-” Chuuya exclaimed, his knees dropped to the ground— he was in complete despair. He clenched the locket close to his heart and sobbed.
Hallucinations were haunting him.
He couldn’t bear to go to visit his coffin, to go see his lifeless body— but Chuuya knew needed to see him one last time, just to say I love you one. last. fucking. time.
Even if it would hurt so fucking bad, he wanted the validation— no, he needed it.
Chuuya decided that he would visit him, maybe not now but soon before he gets buried.
—————————————————————
|
> To: ([email protected])
> Cc: ([email protected])
>Subject: 😪 Aug 2, 2019.
10:09 pm.
Hey Daz, it’s me— Chuuya. Uhm, I guess I’d like to say, thank you for walking me home. It was.. fun, I loved talking with you <3
Also, what the hell is with your email, ‘Ruhioji’ really? Is your name not really Dazai Osamu? Are you keeping any secrets from me? 😓Anyways, jokes aside— thanks for today, I’m looking forward for a next time.?.?
I mean, if you’d like- you don’t have to go to another one, but if you would— um, I’d really like to go on another date as well.
That’s all I guess, night Daz! email me as soon as you see this ‘kay? nighty! :)
Sincerely, Chuuya.
| ★
Chuuya’s finger hovered over the right part of the mouse, he didn’t know if he should send it— or not. Maybe he’s asleep? Maybe he would seem persistent, Chuuya shook his head, he mumbled “screw it.” And he sent the message to Dazai.
Dazai saw the notification pop on his phone, ‘hm.’ he thought, then looked at the person who sent it— it was Chuuya. He let out a soft smile before realizing what he was doing and making it fade away.
Dazai read the email. ’Daz’ he thought, how plain but cute. Then he continued to read more of Chuuya’s email. Another date? yeah, this could help build their relationship,, you know for his ‘public identity’.. His fingers started typing a reply for Chuuya.
After a few minutes of staring at his inbox, An email from Dazai came, Chuuya’s heart leapt out of his chest. He opened the email to see what the brunette would reply to his message.
| ★
> To: ([email protected])
> Cc: ([email protected])
>Subject: … Aug 2, 2019.
10:23 pm.
Daz? really? Is that the best you could think of? And here I thought someone who works as a lawyer would be more knowledgeable but here we are. 🤷♀️
I mean.. it’s totally expected from the way ur email is, ‘ChuuyaNakahara.’ It sounds like it could be ur work email— wait, is this ur work email? r u texting me on ur work email?? N here I thought i was special :(… haha, jk.
And you’re welcome btw, I loved walking you home as well. It was… refreshing to say the least, you know.. being with you.
About my email user, you could say ‘Ruhioji’ is like an online nickname of mine, Dazai Osamu is my real name but Ruhioji is like an alias to me.
Also I would love to go on another date with you, of course I would. Who wouldn’t? :)
I guess that’s all with me then. Night, qt. ❤️
Regards, Dazai.
| ★
Chuuya smiled at his email, he especially blushed at the last part of his message. ‘Who wouldn’t go on another date with you,’ and ‘Night, qt.’
‘Damn, you Dazai Osamu. How dare you make me feel like this.’ Chuuya smiled and bit his lower lip. He was laying down on his bed. He closed the phone that was in his hands and held it close to his heart.
—————————————————————
Dazai was smiling, that was completely new to him. He was raised to not smile, if not— fake a smile for the camera, yet here he was. Grinning like a stupid idiot.
“Oooh~ Is the ever so ‘evil villian; Oniko’ smiling?~” Hitoshi teased, his face contorted into a smirk which annoyed Dazai.
The brunette’s smile faded, he scowled at Hitoshi.
“Shut up, idiot. I was not smiling— I don’t smile.” He said before dropping his arm, phone in hand. He put it back inside his pocket.
“Uhuh.. right, you were talking to Chuuya right?” He continued to tease, ignoring Dazai’s warnings.
“See! If I didn’t set you up with that date—”
“Date? What date.” Fyodor asks as he walks inside the room.
“Was I mistaken or did I overhear that Oniko went on a ‘date’?” His cloak drifted as he walked in, arms crossed.
“Nothing Fyodor, no date- no anything.” Dazai said, his fingers pinching the space between his eyebrows.
“Nahh, actually, I sent Oniko on a date with this guy called Chuuya!” Hitoshi debated, looking at Dazai then proceeding to stick out his tongue.
Dazai was annoyed and glared at him.
“It was just for my image, so people won’t suspect anything.” He looked at Fyodor, reassuring him.
“A date huh.” He said, trying to sound amused but his tone sounded dull.
“Are you certain this is a good idea? You cannot get attached, Oniko.” He looked at Dazai firmly.
Dazai opened his mouth but Hitoshi cutted him off.
“It is!- I mean you know the rumors about Toru-kun right, Fyo?”
Fyodor just nodded at what he said, indeed he was aware of the rumors made about ‘The Heir of the Osamu Family.’
Hitoshi smiles at his nod, “So! I thought that if we get Toru on a date with someone, they could see that he actually socialize and he isn’t a complete slob—”
“Careful with your words, Hitoshi.” Dazai glared at him, his annoyance evident. His gaze tore a hole in his confidence just at this moment. Leaving nothing but silence.
Hitoshi took two steps back, and laughed awkwardly.
“Uhm, right.. If they see that he does socialize— you know with Chuuya, the more they can back off and Oniko’s identity is safe.”
Fyodor looked at Hitoshi, his eyebrow raised higher than the other. It was a good plan, he thought. But was it a reliable one?
Fyodor moved his gaze from Hitoshi to Dazai.
“It’s an absurd but beneficial idea—”
“See!?” Hitoshi exclaimed and looked at Dazai, he looked like a proud puppy who received a treat from the owner after doing a trick.
“I wasn’t finished.” Fyodor glared at him, annoyed by his interruption.
Ahh, typical Hitoshi— always getting on the two men’s nerves.
He laughed awkwardly once more before scratching the back of his head.
“Sorry..” He mumbled.
It was evident that he was scared of the pair.
“It is somehow an absurd but good plan but— is it reliable?. We are incapable of predicting what you may feel in the future, Oniko. What if you fell in love?” He asked, eyeing Dazai with a look that said ‘what will you do then huh.?’
“Foolish of you to think so, because I won’t fall in love.”
Dazai said, looking at him firmly. He knew that Fyodor was unsure of what he said, even he himself was unsure as well.
Was he really not going to fall in love with Chuuya? Who knows? maybe he would— maybe he won't or maybe.. he already has.
Fyodor looked at him and sighed.
“Suit yourself, Oniko. But just don’t let him drag you down. Remember your father, he wouldn’t want you to topple apart because of that man. You know what he would say—”
“I’m certain to what my father’s words would be, Fyodor. I don’t need you to tell me.” He scowled at him, a bit of anger and annoyance mirrored in his eyes.
The tension was thick inside the room, thick enough to slice with a knife.
“Hey..” Hitoshi interrupted, he had already gotten into both of their nerves— but them getting on each other’s nerves? Now that would be a serious problem that was difficult to deal with.
“Why don’t we stop this huh?” He chuckled trying to ease the both of them.
Dazai glared at the two before saying the words—
“I’m taking my leave. This discussion is over” He scowled before striding out of his father’s old study and into his bedroom.
—————————————————————
Chuuya tossed and turned, fuck— he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about Dazai’s empty casket, where did his lover go?
He sat on the side of his bed, his hands clenched on the sheets. Tears started to form once more in his eyes, his heartbeat fast and his breathing elevated.
Was he by chance.. having a panic attack?
It made sense, his breathing- his heart- the panic that flooded his head— of course he was.
He looked around, at his bedside table was the locket given by Dazai, it was one of the last memories that he had, given by his supposed ‘deceased’ lover.
The panic soared in his head, he thought of where he could be— oh god, maybe he could still be alive, but the injuries— fuck, would he be able to survive??
Would he be able to see him for the last time?
Where the fuck was he?? If he was nowhere to be found, how will he see him for the last time?!— how the fuck will he be able to get the validation.
How would he be finally at peace?
His breathing started to get faster, he was so fucking worried— he could be alive right now— right at this moment, but he wouldn’t be able to help him— he might die. Maybe he lost his chance of saving him, maybe it was too late.
Chuuya started to overthink. The words ‘Where is he?!’ started to hover in his mind, you can hear the ragged breathing echo around his room— nothing but silence and pain could be heard all around.
Poor poor thing, he killed the last person that ever loved him— who made him feel wanted.
The ragged breaths continued— unable to breathe, Chuuya passed out. Even at times when he’s completely unconscious about his surroundings, the suffering seems to continue.
There he was, mourning the presence of his beloved. Alone, suffocated with pain and regret while senseless.
He didn’t know if he could save him, or instead lose his chance to do so and mourn him.
(END OF CHAPTER 1)