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Published:
2026-01-14
Updated:
2026-02-25
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7,905
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4/?
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Good Old-Fashioned American Depression

Summary:

Nobody thought anything of it when Robert went radio silent over the weekend.

It was a different story when Robert "Doesn't know what PTO is" Robertson didn't show up for work that Monday.

Notes:

Fic Title Source: Good Old-Fashioned American Depression by Will Wood [Unreleased]

i can't believe this fuckass game is what finally broke me down into writing fanfiction lord help me

if things are ooc it's cause i'm stupid & if there are errors it's cause i wrote this exclusively at ungodly hours and also i'm stupid

Chapter 1: Ghosting

Notes:

Chapter Title Source: Ghosting by Mother Mother

in case i forget to give context later this is the background i'm going with:
-Coupé got cut over Sonar, but she was saved from prison and let back on the team
-Waterboy was picked over Phenomaman, who got added to the team during the events of Ep. 8 instead
-Robert Revealed he was Mecha Man
-Invisigal was cut (For this I'm running with that after Shroud stuff she was sent to a different, nearby SDN branch before rejoining the Z-Team is discussed)
-Rejected both BB & Invisigal
-Invisigal sacrificed herself and got shot
-Robert killed Shroud
-Chase still has Blazer's amulet

ok pray for my soul and enjoy i guess i'm going to shut up now

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Friday.

Nobody questioned it when Robert left Beef with Chase for the weekend.

"Course I'll look after the little guy, 'bout time you let me, you fucker."

 


 

Saturday.

Nobody questioned it when Robert ignored the Z-Team's weekly invite for drinks.

"The bitch is probably brooding again," Flambae declared.

"Bobby boy is being a buzzkill again; we really shouldn't be surprised," Sonar laughed, nudging Malevola with his elbow as she tried to wave down a waiter.

"Calling him- Robert- that, a bu- buzz..kill, is kinda mean..." Waterboy hesitantly chimed in.

"Ah, chin up, lad," Punch Up patted Waterboy on the back a bit too hard. "He knows we're just kidding around."

Prism blew out a puff of smoke from her vape, not looking up from her phone. "He would know if he wasn't busy being a buzzkill."

Malevola sat back down in the oversized booth, giving up on her attempts to catch the eye of anyone working there for the time being. "Isn't Courtney supposed to show up tonight?" She glanced over at Golem sitting on the floor at the end of the table. He shrugged. "He's probably avoiding having to talk to her after the whole cutting her from the team and her getting shot thing…"

"Imagine getting cut; couldn't be me," Sonar snickered. Coupé glared at him from across the table.

Phenomaman floated to the table holding two trays worth of drinks, looking proud of himself. The group chose not to question why he was holding trays that definitely belonged to a waiter, more focused on grabbing their claim of cheap booze.

Waterboy sighed.

 


 

Sunday.

Nobody questioned it when Robert didn't answer his phone or respond to any texts.

'He probably got drunk last night and is staving off a hangover,' the Z-Team collectively decided, all too hungover themselves to think that much about it.

 


 

Monday.

"Hey Robert, just letting you know it seems like there's something wrong with the system today; it's showing your line as dead...." Mandy's voice trailed off upon approaching Robert's cubicle, the entire Z-Team surrounding it. "…What are you guys doing? You should be on the field by now."

"Well, Miss Blazer," Prism began, "we're kind of missing someone." She gestured towards Robert's desk, the rest of the group stepping out of the way.

"Guys, we're swamped today; this really isn't the time..." Mandy looked into the cubicle, greeted by an astounding lack of Robert. "...Where is he?"

"If we knew, we'd already be on the field," Flambae huffed.

"He- Robert- Uh, never came- Showed up. We looked," Waterboy clarified, somehow looking more nervous than usual.

Mandy glances around, as if he was suddenly going to appear. "Did he not-? I swear he clocked in-"

In a flash, Chase zipped back to his own cubicle, returning from assisting on a call and causing those closest to his side to startle. "The hell are all of you fuckers doing here? I leave for ten goddamn minutes and you're having a motherfucking reunion."

Mandy sighed, partially out of relief and partially exasperation. "Chase, have you heard from Robert? Apparently he hasn't shown up yet."

Chase stares at her, expression shifting from confusion to concern, peering into the empty cubicle. "We sure he ain't hungover?"

Malevola stood up straight, previously leaning against the cubicle's wall. "We've all tried calling him already. Even sent Phenomaman to check his apartment."

"There was.... no answer....." Phenomaman solemnly added.

Mandy pinched her nose bridge. "Okay, right, yeah. Z-team head to the meeting room, and you too, Chase. I'll get Royd up here to cover for you in the meantime. We don't need to disturb everyone else any longer." She gestured to the rest of the room, none of the other dispatchers paying any attention to the group.

 


 

 

"Hello, you've reached Robert Robertson. I'm unable to take your call at the moment. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can, thanks," the voicemail repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Robert, if you don't pick up your goddamn phone, I'm keeping your dog," Chase spoke into his phone's microphone before hanging up and slamming it back onto the table.

"That's probably the most convincing one yet," Coupé quipped, sounding a bit more sarcastic than intended.

Flambae groaned from his seat, "Fine if nobody else is going to; aren't you all being a bit dramatic? I mean, Bob Bob misses one day of work, and suddenly you're all acting like the world is crashing down around us."

"Girl, you know I love you, but are you hearing yourself right now?" Prism replied, baffled.

Mandy impatiently tapped her fingers on the table. "Look, if we were talking about anyone else here, I'd agree with you, but this is Robert. The only time I've ever seen him miss any work was after getting blown up, and I'm pretty sure the only reason he missed any was because he was unconscious. The second he woke up he was back at that cubicle and he would've dragged me out of that chair himself if I hadn't gotten up on my own. Hell, I think he still doesn't know what PTO is."

"She's right, Lad. The guy may need a break, but that doesn't mean he'll actually take one."

Flambae huffed but didn't argue.

"Robert- He didn't tell- say anything either… A-and he's good- better at a-answering his phone- usu- typ- typically." At some point, somebody had acquired a large, walled metal pan to place under Waterboy's chair to prevent him from flooding the room, which was already threatening to overflow. "What if something bad- he's in trouble?

The already lacking energy of the room sank, dragged down by a sense of malaise. The thought of something bad having happened was certainly at the forefront of most of the group's minds but was a thought they didn't want to have to actually consider.

Mandy took a deep breath before she spoke again, "We shouldn't jump straight to the worst possible scenario, it has only been one day. For now, let's just hope for the best and that this is all a big miscommunication. If we don't hear anything soon... Then we'll go from there."

The group responded in nods and "yes, ma'ams."

"Until then, there's still plenty of day left and work to be done, so we're all going to make the best of it. I'll take over for Robert in the meantime, and as far as anyone here is aware, he's on sick leave. If something has happened, it'll be best to keep it on the down-low until we get more information, you hear me?"

The room replied with more noises of agreement. "As long as you don't send Malevola to a Sunday school again, man," Golem added.

Mandy huffed the closest thing to a laugh she could muster. "Let's get back to work, everyone."

Notes:

it begins evil grin

how long will this fic be? man idfk i have a vague idea of the plot and a dream we'll see what happens

i'm kinda struggling to write in a way that feels in character so if the dialogue and stuff is Ass um. my bad. 🫩

This is definitely a set-up chapter so sorry if it's a wee bit Boring. We'll get more into the actual plot next chapter
For now uh um uhh uuh ummm woah where's robert that's crazy chat what happened to robert

i'm deciding if i wanna do a chapter in his perspective soon or if i wanna just leave him haunting the narrative ig we'll find out together when i write the damn thing

also i don't know what normal chapter length is i don't know a lot of things can you tell

okay goodbye that's all