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Lloyd stared at Master Wu.
Wu smiled back, peaceful and unsuspecting.
“How old are you?” Lloyd asked.
Wu blinked. “…Younger than my brother.”
Lloyd frowned.
“That didn’t answer the question.”
Jay, sprawled on the floor, immediately sat up. “Oh no. That’s a dangerous answer.”
“Younger than my Dad?” Lloyd repeated. “Okay. How old is he?”
Wu took a sip of tea. “Very old.”
Lloyd slammed his hands on the table. “WHY DOES EVERYONE DO THAT.”
“Fine,” Lloyd said, grabbing a pencil. “Let’s use logic.”
Wu nodded approvingly. “An excellent idea.”
“You are younger than my Dad.”
“Yes.”
“You are older than the creation of time.”
“Perhaps.”
“You are younger than Ninjago.”
“Yes.”
Lloyd paused.
“…But you are still ancient.”
Wu smiled. “Correct.”
Lloyd’s eye twitched.
“That doesn’t work.”
“It works beautifully,” Wu said. “Just not numerically.”
Zane leaned over Lloyd’s shoulder. “I am calculating several paradoxes.”
“GOOD,” Lloyd said. “Because I’m experiencing one.”
Cole squinted at Wu. “So you’re, like… the youngest old person?”
Wu nodded. “I prefer ‘late arrival.’”
Jay grinned. “So Time showed up, Ninjago happened, Garmadon existed, and then you were like, ‘Hey guys, sorry I’m late.’”
Wu chuckled. “More or less.”
“That’s WORSE,” Lloyd said.
Lloyd started pacing.
“So you’re younger than time,” he said, pointing.
“But older than everyone else,” he said, spinning.
“And you refuse to give me a number.”
Wu raised a finger. “I never refuse. I redirect.”
“That’s the same thing!”
“No,” Wu said gently. “It has better posture.”
“Okay,” Lloyd said, pointing his pencil like a weapon. “Did you have a childhood?”
“Yes.”
“How long ago?”
Wu thought for a moment.
“…After time.”
Lloyd dropped the pencil.
Jay wheezed. “AFTER TIME.”
“That doesn’t help!”
Wu shrugged. “It helps me.”
Lloyd rubbed his face.
“You eat like an old man,” he said.
“You nap like an old man.”
“You tell stories that begin before calendars.”
Wu nodded along.
“But you’re younger than my dad.”
“Yes.”
“And he’s evil.”
Wu smiled politely. “Occasionally.”
Lloyd stared at him.
“Did you have a birthday?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
Wu paused.
“…Once.”
Lloyd screamed into a pillow.
Zane raised a hand. “Master Wu, for clarification, do you experience time linearly?”
Wu smiled. “Not particularly.”
Jay pointed at Lloyd. “He’s doomed.”
“Okay,” Lloyd said, standing on a chair. “NEW SYSTEM.”
He drew a line on the board.
TIME → NINJAGO → GARMADON → WU → EVERYONE ELSE
He stepped back.
“That’s still bad.”
Wu examined it. “I look very young there.”
“You do NOT,” Lloyd said. “You look suspicious.”
Lloyd crossed his arms. “Why won’t you just say a number?”
Wu knelt down to his level. “Because, Lloyd, numbers are limiting.”
Lloyd squinted. “So is your personality.”
Jay gasped. “OH.”
Wu laughed. “You are learning.”
That night, a new sign appeared on the monastery wall.
MASTER WU’S AGE:
✔ Younger than Garmadon
✔ Younger than Time
✔ Younger than Ninjago
❌ Still Ancient
❌ Still Refuses Numbers
Underneath, in messy handwriting:
Conclusion: This Is On Purpose.
Wu read it, nodded thoughtfully, and added a sticky note.
“You will understand when you are older.”
From the hallway, Lloyd yelled,
“I’M NEVER ASKING AGAIN.”
Wu smiled.
He knew that wasn’t true.