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Nagi stood outside Snuffy's office, staring at the blank wall across from him. In hindsight, he should've grabbed his phone so he could occupy himself with games while Reo was talking to Snuffy, but that idea hadn't come to mind until he realized he'd been standing out in the hall for the past half hour and was bored half to death.
Briefly, Nagi considered eavesdropping but dropped the idea almost as soon as he thought about it. Of course, Nagi was worried about Reo, but he had no interest in eavesdropping. It was Reo's choice to share what he wanted with who. Besides, it's not like Nagi could overhear anything considering how thick Snuffy's office door was.
Nagi knew he could wander away – Reo wouldn't mind. It was Nagi who minded about that because ever since they had been rescued...
'I swore to myself I would never leave him again.'
Nagi sighed, pressing the back of his head to the wall. Honestly, Nagi felt terrible. He was still unsure what possessed him to suggest the groups that he had after they'd managed to escape Blue Lock. Although Nagi had used logic when explaining his reasoning there was more behind it… That reason being Reo.
Nagi had been scared of hurting Reo and honestly, he's still terrified of doing so.
Yes, Nagi knew he made a mistake considering everything that had happened. However, Nagi couldn't stop thinking about when Ego had activated the shock device in Reo's suit right before their escape… He couldn't get the image of Reo's convulsing body nor the way he had screamed out of his head.
'I could've accidentally done that to Reo... I could've hurt him the same way as Ego...'
Nagi was fine with himself being at risk but Reo... Nagi would never risk Reo's safety again, regardless of his own personal feelings on the matter. Although it did work out well, since Nagi had known where Reo was. Still, it didn't make him feel good... Knowing that Reo had suffered while Nagi had been safe. Knowing that maybe, if he made a different call, Yukki might still be alive.
'Yukki...'
Nagi could feel sparks flying from his hands and could hear the familiar sound of crackling electricity. However, before Nagi's thoughts could spiral any further there was the sound of a door opening. Nagi instantly killed the sparks, clenching his hands into tight fists, and looked up to see Reo standing in the doorway. For a moment Reo stood there, before his eyes widened the slightest bit and Nagi's heart clenched a little.
'Why does Reo look so surprised?'
A moment passed in silence.
"Nagi?"
"Come to dinner with me," Nagi said, holding out a hand for Reo to take. Reo's eyes flickered between Nagi's hand and his face, evident confusion written across his expression. Nagi couldn't blame him for it. This felt out of character for him. Usually, it was Reo dragging Nagi to dinner, not the other way around. Regardless, Reo took his hand and allowed Nagi to drag him away.
They walked there in silence, eventually entering the dining hall. Due to how late it was, the room was empty save for them. Truly, Nagi always tensed up in the dining hall since it looked eerily similar to Blue Lock's, but the atmosphere was entirely different.
They got their food quickly, sitting down next to each other. However, despite the tray of food before the two of them, neither touched it.
Nagi found his gaze drifting over to Reo, who was just blankly looking down at the table. For a moment Nagi was quiet, before reaching over and taking Reo's hand. Reo seemed to startle for a moment, but he didn't pull away as Nagi started to rub circles on his knuckles. Reo leaned into the other's side and then Nagi spoke.
"... Reo... Are you okay?"
A moment passed in silence, and then Reo let out a soft sniffle.
"I thought I was," he whispered. Nagi could hear a tremble in his voice and instinctively curled an arm around Reo's shoulders, pressing the other into his side in an attempt to comfort him.
For a moment neither of them spoke, just sitting there pressed up against each other. Then, Nagi took a deep breath.
"It's okay to not be okay, Reo."
"I feel so pathetic like this though," Reo whimpered, wiping at his eyes. "My parents would be ashamed..." Reo paused, before a miserable laugh escaped him. "That's stupid of me to say… They already hate me considering they sold me to Blue Lock."
Nagi felt his heart stop.
Reo didn't talk about his parents often, but whenever he did there was typically a note of bitterness in his voice, even before Blue Lock. However, this was the first time Nagi was hearing about them selling Reo to Blue Lock.
"... What do you mean?"
"The letter to Blue Lock... Father probably planted it in a place Ba-Ya would see so she would be able to give it to me – assuming he'd want to toss it if he'd seen it himself. Considering the contents of the letter it would've been suspicious if he had given it to me." Reo averted his eyes. "Ba-Ya didn't mean any harm, of course."
Nagi grit his teeth, eye twitching a little in protective anger.
"... He set you up."
"Of course he did."
"Reo..." Nagi's voice broke a little. Reo sighed, turning away a little but Nagi swore he saw tears well up in the other's eyes.
"It's fine," Reo cut in before Nagi could say anything else. "It doesn't bother me that much anymore." Nagi bit his lip because it clearly did bother him, but Nagi didn't want to risk upsetting Reo further so he stayed quiet.
"... Reo should eat," Nagi gently tried to urge. Reo looked down at his untouched food, shifting his gaze away.
"I'm not hungry."
"Fine then." Nagi grabbed Reo's chopsticks before picking up a piece of food from his plate. "Open up." Nagi could see Reo's eyes flicker towards him, before the other seemed to pause as color began to rise to his cheeks.
"Wh... What are you doing?"
"Feeding you," Nagi monotonously responded. "If you won't feed yourself I'll just have to do it for you."
"I don't need you to feed me, Nagi!" Reo snapped, bringing up an arm up to shield his face.
"But... You do it for me all the time."
"That's different!"
"How so?" Nagi tilted his head. "Maybe I want to feed you." A beat of silence passed. Hesitant, Nagi reached up and grabbed Reo's forearm. Reo didn't jolt away or fight him and Nagi strengthened his grip the slightest bit before gently pushing Reo's arm down and holding out the chopsticks towards him.
For a moment both of them were still, and then Reo opened his mouth. Nagi gently placed the food in Reo's open mouth and the other slowly chewed before swallowing, as Nagi picked up more and held it out again.
Reo could feel Nagi's arms tighten around his waist. Once they had finished their meal they had both gone to Nagi's room to sleep. Honestly, Reo appreciated it. Since the start of Blue Lock he had been suffering nightmares. Although Reo had his own room at the current facility they were being held at he typically found himself in someone else's room a few hours after 'lights out'. The rooms he frequented included Kunigami's, Chigiri's, Zantetsu's, and Nagi's.
Of course Reo had gone to Nagi the most.
The first few times Reo had woken up Nagi due to nightmares he'd been nearly inconsolable – shaking and crying as he just kept apologizing over and over. Nagi had just stared at him with pure concern, before he'd simply held Reo's head to his chest and stroked his hair until Reo had managed to calm down.
"Not mad at you, Reo. It's okay, I'm right here... I'm right here."
Reo could feel his lips trembling and brought a hand up to his mouth to muffle a whimper that threatened to escape, when he heard Nagi sleepily mumble a sentence that he had seemed to be saying a lot lately.
"I'm right here... Reo." Nagi's head burrowed up against the back of Reo's neck. "Won't let anyone... Hurt you."
Reo couldn't tell if Nagi was barely clinging on to consciousness or talking in his sleep. Regardless, he couldn't stop the fond smile that crept up his face as Nagi pulled him closer.
"Thank you... Treasure," Reo whispered. The only response he received was the sound of Nagi's soft, even breaths. So Reo lay there, not wanting to disturb Nagi's rest.
... That was the last thing Reo would ever want to do.
Reo doesn't know how long he stared at the wall, just thinking. At some point Nagi's iron grip slackened the slightest bit. Unable to close his eyes without thinking about Yukki's dead body, Reo silently rolled out of the bed. A flash of guilt went through him when Reo heard Nagi whimper, like the other was aware of his sudden absence. Truly, Reo wanted to remain cuddled up against Nagi but he felt like he needed to clear his head. It was fine... He just needed a short walk and a bottle of water.
Reo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he headed towards the cafeteria. Noa kept a fridge towards the back that was filled with water in case of any sudden dehydration. Some of the other boys had made a petition for him to add soda and juice, but if Noa did end up adding that Reo doubted they'd be able to access the fridge in the middle of the night.
No one wanted to deal with sugar high teenagers at some ungodly hour of the morning.
As Reo closed the door to the fridge a sudden voice echoed through the empty room.
"Reo?" Reo jolted, whirling to see Gagamaru in the doorway of the cafeteria. The purple haired boy froze as Gagamaru stepped into the room, padding over to the fridge and grabbing a water bottle for himself. "You couldn't sleep either, huh?"
"... Yeah," Reo softly admitted after a moment. Gagamaru tilted his head with an awkward little half smile before he motioned Reo to follow him.
"Come... Sit with me for a little."
Reo didn't protest, trailing after Gagamaru and sitting across from him at one of the tables.
A long beat of silence passed between them. Reo took an awkward sip of water as Gagamaru studied him for a moment before speaking.
"How have you been?" Gagamaru gently asked. Reo averted his eyes.
"I'm fine... I don't get why anyone feels the need to ask that."
"You don't seem fine," Gagamaru pointed out. "And I ask because I care. I ask everyone because we all went through a lot and if someone isn't okay, then I want to be able to help in any way I can. Even if they just need someone to listen..." A sad smile crossed Gagamaru's face and Reo felt a flash of guilt for how harsh he'd sounded.
"I..." Reo bit his lip. "Sorry... It's just been -"
"It's fine," Gagamaru mumbled. "I... Know what it's like to lose a friend." Reo looked at Gagamaru, and for the first time he noticed how exhausted the other looked. Honestly, Gagamaru looked awful. There were dark lines under his eyes, and he seemed to have dropped some weight despite having easy access to food.
A moment of silence passed.
"... Do you need to talk?" Reo kept his voice soft and gentle. Gagamaru wouldn't meet his gaze.
"I don't know," the other finally admitted after a moment, voice trembling. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
"... Tell me about him," Reo whispered. Gagamaru seemed to freeze.
"... Huh?"
"His name," Reo softly continued. "What was your friend's name?"
"... Asa," Gagamaru finally settled on after a moment. "Uhm... Miss Anri had hired him to work for Blue Lock for a little and he accepted because he needed the money... Asa died trying to help Aiku and Karasu escape." Gagamaru fell silent for a moment. "I... I miss him."
"I know," Reo whispered. "Not a second goes by when I don't miss Yukki..." Reo clenched his fingers around his water bottle. "He died protecting me. I was right there and I was powerless - I couldn't do anything." Reo swallowed, as a lump formed in his throat. "I really hate myself..."
For a moment Gagamaru was quiet.
"You're the reason all of us are alive today, though." Gagamaru said it so softly that Reo almost missed it. However, those words made him freeze.
"... What?"
"You... Snuck away by using your ability and hijacked one of the vans. You're the reason we got out of Blue Lock instead of suffering further. You saved... All of us." Gagamaru averted his eyes. "You may have not been able to protect Yukki, but you protected everyone else the day we broke out. If you hadn't done that, we all would've been gunned down on the spot or done in by Ego's experiments somewhere down the line."
A moment of silence passed, and then Reo slumped against Gagamaru.
"Maybe," he muttered. Gagamaru just let out a hum.
The first thing Nagi noticed when he woke up was that Reo wasn't with him. The white haired boy instantly jolted up, kicking off all the blankets piled on his bed as he instantly rushed out of his room and into the hallway, pounding on Zantetsu's door. The door almost instantly opened and Nagi could tell Zantetsu was a little ticked off, the other's eye twitching.
"What?" He asked. Nagi tried to look over his shoulder into his room.
"Is Reo —?"
"Oh," Zantetsu perked up a little. "You can't find him?"
"Yeah," Nagi nodded. "I… Dunno where he is."
"Did you check the common room?"
"What?" Nagi narrowed his eyes. "Why would he be in the…" His voice died in his throat as Zantetsu leaned up against the doorframe of his room and crossed his arms.
Oh… Right.
Honestly, when it came to Reo the common room was probably the most likely place for him to end up. Anytime he'd go to someone else's room Reo was always a mess the morning afterwards, as whoever Reo had been with that night tended to show up at Nagi's door with a sobbing Reo in tow since he usually felt bad seeking comfort from someone. However, the common room was open 24/7, and even if he'd be alone there it was never empty for long. Furthermore, most of them had come agree that there was something comforting about the atmosphere in there. So, if Reo was having trouble sleeping last night he had probably relocated there… It wouldn't be the first time.
Nagi slapped his forehead, giving Zantetsu a quick wave.
"Thank you," he said before taking off towards the common room.
As Nagi approached he could see Barou leaning up against the wall just outside of it. The other looked up upon hearing Nagi's approaching footsteps and Nagi could see him pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Took you long enough," Barou muttered. "Rather than being on time for breakfast I had to play guard."
"It's not like you had to wait here," Nagi muttered. Barou narrowed his eyes.
"With the chaos the others manage to create I did. It seems like both him and Gagamaru had a rough night, so I didn't want anyone disturbing them." Barou nodded towards the entrance of the common room. "Just… Let them sleep."
"Okay," Nagi promised. Barou just walked away and Nagi padded into the room to see Reo and Gagamaru cuddled up next to each other, asleep. Someone had draped a blanket over their shoulders. Due to how neatly it was done Nagi could only assume it had been Barou.
... The king really was a softie.
Nagi sat nearby, keeping a watchful eye on Reo. He looked more peaceful than he did in weeks… Gagamaru did too. Honestly, Reo and Gagamaru wasn't a duo Nagi ever expected to see and yet here they were.
Although Nagi didn't know why Reo left him during the night, it was easy to assume it was due to nightmares. Reo seemed to have been suffering from them a lot lately and honestly… Nagi had too.
Nagi found one of his hands unconsciously drifting to his forearm, recalling the first selection.
'If I hadn't reacted when I did… I could've lost Reo.'
Nagi swallowed, remembering the pain of the razors embedding themselves in his arm. Still, it was nothing compared to the pure and utter panic that tore through him at the fact that he realized Reo was in danger in that room.
… Thank goodness Zantetsu had been there and managed to get his ability to work.
Still, by far the worst thing Nagi had done was separate from Reo. Nagi hadn't been there to protect Reo… He hadn't been there to save Yukki. Nagi hated Ego for hurting Reo and killing Yukki. However, he couldn't help but feel a similar disdain for himself because… 'If I had been there… If I could've just gotten over myself… Would Yukki still be alive?' Nagi buried his face in his knees, trying to stop the tears that began to well up in his eyes. 'Would Reo be suffering this much?'
Nagi still misses Yukki, and he knew Reo did too. Sometimes Nagi would only cry when he was alone. Other times he cried with Reo and they held each other. Some days Nagi couldn't even muster the energy to cry and just laid in his bed, hating himself.
"I'm sorry, Reo." The words slipped out before Nagi could stop himself. For a moment the only sound that responded to Nagi was Gagamaru's and Reo's soft breaths. Then, he heard Reo speak up.
"What are you apologizing for, treasure?"
Nagi lifted his head to see Reo looking at him, head tilted ever so slightly with a fond look in his eyes. Nagi averted his gaze.
"I'm sorry I left you, after we broke out of Blue Lock. I wasn't there to protect you or Yukki…" Nagi hated the way he started to choke up. Reo's expression softened further, the boy pulling away from Gagamaru a little so he could look at Nagi straight.
"That's not your fault, Nagi," he mumbled. "Besides, you saved me afterward." Nagi could see the way Reo's eyes watered though and knew that he was thinking of Yukki. "If anything, I should be the one apologizing... I was right there and yet —"
"That's not your fault either," Nagi spoke up, expression hardening. "Yukki didn't have to let you guys stay… Nor did he have to choose to protect you." Reo froze and Nagi sighed, bringing a hand to his forehead. "Yes, I'm mad at myself for not being there but it's so much easier for me to believe I could've done something because I wasn't there… If that makes sense." Nagi averted his eyes. "Even if I was there, there's no guarantee I would've been able to do something, I just keep thinking I could've. All of you that were there did what you could… It's not your fault, Reo."
A beat of silence passed.
"Oh…" Reo whispered. "I… Uhm…" Nagi blinked, since this was the first time he'd seen Reo at a loss for words, as color began to rise in Reo's face. Seeing Reo grow embarrassed instantly had Nagi recovering from his initial shock.
"Do you want to rest a little longer?"
"Maybe just… A little longer," Reo sheepishly replied, resting his head back against Gagamaru's chest as his eyes slid shut. "I'll… Wake back up soon. If you stay, maybe we can eat together…" Reo seemed to just manage to utter the words through his fading state, as he seemed to pass back out almost instantly.
So, Nagi went back to sitting there… Waiting… Lost in his own thoughts.
This situation of waiting for Reo to finish up whatever he needed to do was starting to become familiar to Nagi.
'... Should've remembered my phone.'
It couldn't have been more than 20 minutes when Gagamaru stirred awake, cracking open his eyes. Nagi could tell the other was pretty out of it, but he hid that fact pretty well.
"Good morning," Gagamaru greeted with a yawn.
"Mornin'," Nagi causally responded. Reo made a soft sound and nuzzled Gagamaru who jolted a little, like he just realized Reo was pressed up against him. For a moment Gagamaru was frozen, before he turned back to Nagi.
"Oh… I'm sorry if I stole him from you last night. I… I didn't mean to —"
"It's fine," Nagi assured the other. "As long as you were both comfortable and got rest that's really all that matters." Gagamaru cocked his head with a slight smile.
"You're a good guy, Nagi… Reo's really fortunate to have you looking out for him." Nagi swore he saw a flash of sadness flit across Gagamaru's face. Honestly… Gagamaru was always an intriguing character to Nagi. Despite the other's quiet and almost unnerving exterior, he was probably one of the kindest and most soft-spoken people Nagi had met.
Nagi opened his mouth, unsure of what he was even about to say when Reo sleepily blinked awake, causing him to snap his mouth shut. Reo glanced around the room for a moment, before his gaze landed on Nagi and his expression brightened.
"You stayed."
"Of course I did," Nagi said. "I wanted to grab breakfast with you." Nagi looked at Gagamaru. "Would you like to come?"
"Oh, that's alright," Gagamaru averted his eyes. "You guys go on ahead… I promised Raichi I'd get food with him this morning."
"Okay, we'll see you later," Reo said, making his way over to Nagi.
Their walk towards the dining hall was relatively quiet, when Reo suddenly spoke.
"Say…" Reo mumbled. "I never asked you but… What made you agree to go to Blue Lock and stay with me?"
"Eh," Nagi frowned. "Isn't it obvious?" Reo tilted his head, blinking up at him.
Nagi wasn't used to people looking at him.
Nagi wouldn't say his parents were terrible. They were just absent. It's not like they didn't care, they just showed affection differently… Well, he thought so at the very least. If they didn't care they wouldn't take care of him. Sure, maybe they didn't have the whole "human affection" part down, but it was clear they showed care in the only way they knew how.
Money.
At the time he had started living on his own Nagi couldn't ask for anything more. Ultimately, money is what allowed you to survive in the world, and he was surviving.
Then Nagi met Reo and that perspective changed a little because Reo was physically affectionate and for Nagi, who hadn't experienced physical affection in a long time, it felt nice... Which scared him.
Nagi tried avoiding Reo at first but somehow Reo always found him. So, Nagi started making absurd requests that any normal person would decline.
"Reo, I'm tired. Carry me."
"Reo, feed me."
"Reo, gimme money."
Part of Nagi was almost hoping Reo would get fed up with him, like most people. Instead Reo would carry out his requests with nothing but fondness in his expression. That had been when Nagi felt his heart skip a beat. Reo had become… Important to him. Nagi didn't like interacting with many people, especially persistent people because they were a pain. Except Reo was persistent and yet... Reo wasn't a pain. Nagi found himself enjoying Reo's company, and like hell he was going to let some stupid place take away the one person he liked being around, especially since Blue Lock had sent him his own letter.
"Nagi?" Reo's voice ripped Nagi back to the present, the other expectantly looking up at him. For a moment Nagi was quiet, before he sighed.
"You really don't know, huh?" Nagi walked behind Reo, draping himself over the other's shoulders. "Maybe I'll tell you if you carry me." Reo huffed out a laugh, but complied as Nagi nestled his head against the crook of Reo's neck.
There were many reasons Nagi cared about Reo… Many reasons Nagi chose to stick by his side but when it came down to it…
'Maybe… It's because you were the first person to be interested in a slacker like me.'