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Steven sat on the sofa, leaning back with an expression that alluded to him being deep in thought.
"Moz!" A shout from the kitchen interrupted his daily musings. Steven rolled his eyes.
"What? You're interrupting my brooding session!" He shouted back, shifting to try and get comfortable again. Typical Johnny, he had no consideration for the tragic and deeply tortured poets of the world.
Johnny walked into the room, wearing a frilly pink pinny. Clearly he'd been busy preparing something. The look on his face as he held out the phone to Steven with disgust was almost as priceless as his apron choice, Steven thought to himself with a smirk.
"You never told me you were supposed to be at a concert this very evening?!" Johnny exclaimed accusingly, shaking the phone in his outstretched hand, as if willing it to come alive and lunge at Steven.
"Wait, I was? Oh well." Steven waved a hand dismissively, not even pretending to be bothered by the fact. "I'll just cancel it."
"Oh no no, you are not going to cancel another one of your shows, Moz." Johnny walked up to him and shoved the phone into his hand. "You better talk to the concert company and tell them to reschedule for in an hours time. Then you can make it." His tone of voice indicated that any protest from Steven would result in his consequential murder.
Steven stared at the phone, to which distressed calls emanated from the other end. It seemed that the fans gathered at the venue, upon hearing he hadn't turned up for yet another one of his shows, had started to riot in protest.
"It sounds like a pretty dire situation." Johnny added, when Steven made no effort to speak, "I don't think the company can handle it. It's carnage out there."
"Shame." Steven muttered, tongue in cheek. A swift glare from Johnny made him sit up slightly and clear his throat. "Okay, okay. I'll talk to them. Jeez."
Johnny smiled. "Good. Get your lazy arse out there and perform for all your starved fans."
A faint burning smell made Steven raise an eyebrow. "Have you forgot about something in the oven?" He asked, teasingly.
"Patronising sod. I haven't forgot about anything, I'm making us vegan biscuits." And what that, Johnny stuck his tongue out and returned back to the kitchen.
Steven watched him leave with a smile, amused by his childish display. Another desperate wail from the phone brought him back to his current predicament. Sighing, he brought the device to his ear.
"What." Steven said bluntly. He had no intention of doing what Johnny had told him to do.
"Mr Morrissey, sir? Oh my god, thank god. Please, you need to come here. The fans... they've gone bonkers!" The man on the other side of the phone, who presumably worked for the concert bookings, sounded incredibly panicked. Steven remained indifferent.
"Actually, bonkers is an understatement. I think they're about to take the tribute band who we managed to get a hold of last minute hostage!" Sobbing sounds started to emit from the other line.
Grumbling, Steven disdainfully stared at his fingernails whilst the man blubbered on. "Uh, yeah. Look. I can't make it tonight. Real busy, y'know?" He mumbled.
"What...?" The sobbing increased in volume. "Please! You must, Mr Morrissey, sir!"
"No." He said firmly, irritated now. "I have to cancel. Tell the fans I'm, um, ill. Yeah. Cough cough."
"Wha-"
Steven ended the call. It was hardly his fault that he always forgot he had arranged concerts that he was supposed to attend. He was sixty sixty, for god's sake! His memory wasn't as good anymore.
The smell of freshly baked biscuits, cookies perhaps, Steven theorised, started to waft in from the kitchen. Johnny stuck his head out. "I've just plated them up." He said, as Steven met his gaze curiously.
"They smell quite good." He said with a smile. "Did you follow a recipe, or...?"
"Nope. Baked em' from the heart." Johnny rested a hand on his chest, then chuckled. "Kidding. I used bbc good food. Anyways, did you reschedule the concert?"
Steven's smile faded. Ah. He forgot he had directly gone against Johnny's word.
"Well." He began, sheepishly, which was met with a raised eyebrow from Johnny. "Yes and no. In a way. The man on the phone told me they hired a tribute band, so the fans will be, uh, occupied for the night."
"I can't believe you." Johnny said, shaking his head in exasperation. "Why do you even bother going on 'tour' in the first place, if you don't even attend half of the venues?!"
"Hey now. In my defence, it completely and utterly slipped my mind." Steven leaned back, frowning a little. "Don't you have it in your heart to forgive an old fool such as I?"
Johnny held his gaze, his initial annoyance beginning to dwindle. Steven knew this, as a little smirk curved at the corner of his mouth.
"Ugh." He pinched the bridge of his nose. Steven already knew he had won.
"You better promise me to actually go to your next concert." Johnny held up a hand before Steven could interject, "No buts. Or I'm going to straight to bed and you're not having any of the vegan biscuits I made especially for you."
Shit. Johnny had him cornered. The other knew how much he liked to lounge with him on the sofa before they turned in for the night. And those biscuits did smell really good...
"Fine." He agreed, begrudgingly. "Bring the biscuits."
"What was that? Bring the biscuits, what?"
"Please. Bring the biscuits please, oh my darling Johnny Marr." Steven pretended to bow.
Johnny smirked with another shake of his head. "Yeah, yeah. Very funny." He went to retrieve the plate of biscuits, while Steven scanned the living room for the location of the tv remote.
While he wasn't a huge fan of television, he had grown quite fond of watching certain tv shows and films 'ironically', and then ruthlessly criticizing them with Johnny afterwards. Sometimes, he would even sneak in snide remarks whilst they were watching, much to Johnny's irritation. He had more patience than Steven, unfortunately.
Steven had the remote by the time Johnny returned. He placed the plate of pale brown vegan biscuits on the table. Steven observed, to his delight, that they also contained small chunks of vegan chocolate in them.
"They look really good." He said, as Johnny slumped down beside him. He glanced towards the other, noticing with amusement that he was still wearing his charming little pink apron. "My dear, are you making a fashion statement?"
Johnny stared back at him blankly for a moment, before he it clicked what Steven was referring to. He looked down at himself. "Ah, yeah. I forgot about that." He chuckled, untying the apron and discarding it rather frivolously onto the floor.
"Sometimes you are such a slob." Steven remarked bluntly, pretending to turn his nose up at the action, despite not being the most tidy man on earth either.
The black haired man didn't respond, as he reached for a biscuit and held it up to Steven.
"Shut up, and eat my biscuit."
Steven smirked, his snobbish façade dissipating at Johnny's interesting choice of wording.
"Gladly."
He leaned in to take a bite, the soft and warm texture barely crumbling in his mouth. He could tell they hadn't been out of the oven for very long.
"Delicious." He mumbled as he chewed. "You've got a real talent, you have. Bake off is calling."
Johnny nudged him with his knee, smirking. "Oh yeah. I'd win it, I bet." He picked up another biscuit, trying it for himself. "Mm. Pretty good."
Steven caught his gaze and opened his mouth, as if insinuating he should continue to feed him.
Johnny raised an eyebrow, then started to move the biscuit closer to him, playing along. Steven didn't move, under the impression he was actually going to feed him again.
But instead of offering him a gentle bite, Johnny merely shoved the remainder of the biscuit into his gob. Coughing, Steven fumbled to pull it out. "You bugger-!" He choked, but continued to eat it nonetheless.
Johnny snickered. "Deserved." He said, chuffed at how he had briefly fooled the other.
Steven narrowed his eyes, chewing in a way he intended to be vaguely threatening. "Just for that, I get to choose what we watch tonight."
"Oh lord, here we go again."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Steven finished the biscuit, his scowl becoming inquisitive.
"Are you that oblivious? Moz, you know how picky you are, right?" Johnny chuckled, shuffling a bit closer to Steven so he could lean on him. Steven raised an arm wordlessly, resting it over the back of his shoulders.
"I am not." He insisted, "I just have... refined tastes."
Johnny threw him a disbelieving side glance. "Last time you picked what we watched, we spent about an hour searching, then ten minutes into the show that you eventually picked, you said you hated it! So the cycle repeated again, until we gave up and went to bed."
Despite himself, Steven smiled as the other recounted that rather painful evening. "That doesn't sound like me, y'know." He drawled, knowing full well that it sounded exactly like him. Being stubborn was one of his defining attributes, and Johnny was well aware.
"Mhm. Well, if you really want to pick, you have to actually pick something." Johnny assented, leaning his head against Steven's shoulder. He shifted his legs so they draped over Steven's lap, to which the other didn't bat an eyelid.
"I will. I promise." Steven shifted so he could grab another biscuit, causing Johnny to grunt slightly as his comfortable position was disrupted.
When they had settled back down, Steven flicked the television on. Automatically, the news was the first channel that came on. "Eugh." Steven grimaced, quickly switching to the home screen. "No thanks. Corrupt rubbish."
Johnny mumbled something in agreement. It looked like he was starting to feel tired.
Steven squinted, trying to remember how to select one of the streaming platforms. All this fancy new tech was a bit beyond him, but he had managed to (almost) master their smart tv.
The Netflix logo promptly appeared on screen. Steven smirked to himself proudly.
The 'tu-dum' sound that followed woke Johnny, who had started to doze a little. "...Huh? Netflix?" He sat up ever so slightly, his head still resting on Steven. "I thought you hated Netflix. 'Cause it was a company with bad taste, and even worse writing, or somethin." He half heartedly quoted him.
Steven glanced down at him. "I did say that, huh. Well, we don't have Disney anymore, for obvious reasons, and there's no way in hell that we're watching normal television."
Johnny nodded slowly. "Netflix it is, I guess. What type of show or movie are you thinking?"
Their list of recommend shows appeared, which Steven quickly looked through. "I dunno, really. Something interesting."
"Wow, that clears it up." Johnny huffed.
At the top of their Netflix page, of course, was Stranger Things Season 5. Despite the fact they had already watched it. And hated it, for that matter.
"Oh great. Please, Netflix, shove your burning pile of shit in my face, I really want to experience The ChatGPT brothers writing again!" Steven said mockingly, which earned him a small hum of a chuckle from Johnny.
"You have to decide on a genre. Otherwise we'll get nowhere." The other demanded lightly, nudging a fisted hand against Steven's chest, probably to mimic a punch.
"Alright. How about something, um, funny? Like a comedy."
"I think you're all we need for that." Johnny mumbled. Steven brushed the biscuit crumbs that had gathered on his clothing onto Johnny in retaliation.
"There are sitcoms, I suppose. But most of them are either completely tasteless in humour, or straight up cringe." Steven shook his head. "I don't think so."
Johnny sighed. This is how it starts.
"Maybe a funny movie? Actually, no. I don't want to watch a movie. Plus, movies that label themselves as 'funny' are always incredibly unwitty, and lack a proper high stake plot." Steven was talking to himself at this point, as he aimlessly looked through the jumble of shows that Netflix tends to present one with.
The other man tried to intercept the remote from Steven, before it was too late and they were strung into another cycle of endless searching. Steven held it out of his reach, raising an eyebrow at him. "Need I remind you that you said I could choose?"
"I've changed my mind." Johnny shifted, straining to reach the remote. "You're clearly in one of your 'I'm gonna criticize everything' moods. Which poses a threat to the both of us."
Steven smirked, continuing to hold it away from him. "If you don't stop I'm going to tickle you, Johnny."
"Like hell you will." Johnny's fingers barely brushed the remote before Steven's other hand, that had been resting on his shoulder, slid down to brush his side. Unfortunately, he was incredibly ticklish.
A burst of laughter erupted from Johnny, who fidgeted, trying to escape Steven's hand. "Stop! I swear, Steven, I'll kill you-"
He couldn't finish his sentence, as Steven merely continued his ministrations, which rendered him incapable of doing anything apart from giggling uncontrollably.
Steven chuckled along with him, eventually subsiding his tickling as Johnny gasped for air, faint shuddering laughs still falling from his lips. "I always keep my word, darling."
"Fuck you." Johnny mumbled behind a lingering smile, feeling all the more exhausted after his laughing fit.
"Wouldn't mind it if you did." Steven mused, still holding the remote away from the other. This earned him another, albeit harsher, nudge from Johnny's knee.
"I'm going to choose something, like I promised!" He protested, pressing the home button once again. "Let's go old school, with some good ol' bbc iplayer, hm?"
"I was under the impression you also hated that too." Johnny commented, dryly.
"Nah. Only some of it. All that reality tv crap." Steven waved a hand in the air dismissively, as if the reality tv shows he so dearly despised were nothing more than an irritating fly.
"There's always doctor who?" Johnny proposed, with a slightly teasing smirk.
"No."
"Why not?" He nestled his head on Steven's chest, his legs now extended horizontally across the rest of the sofa.
"Because that's something you can watch in your own time. You've made me watch that shitty show about five times now. Which is five times too many, might I add." Steven huffed. It was obvious he held certain reservations against the sci-fi show.
"Whatever." Johnny reached for one of the vegan biscuits. "You've made me watch Hannibal with you. That crap is disturbing."
"Excuse me? Hannibal is a beautifully written and complex concoction of the artistic and the macabre." When Johnny threw him a disbelieving look, he quietly added, "And it's disturbing too, yeah."
"Mhm. Just a bit." Johnny mumbled between the biscuit he was eating.
Steven silently flicked through the categories on the iplayer, resisting the urge to complain whenever a reality tv show managed to sneak its way in.
About five minutes of this passed, to which Johnny remained laying there smugly, knowing that Steven was getting more and more pissed.
"That's it. Bloody tv." Steven finally grumbled, his head dropping back against the sofa. "I have no idea what we should watch, Johnny. Everything on television is rubbish!"
"I would say I told you so, but I'm satisfied with that reaction." Johnny chuckled, patting the other's knee 'comfortingly'. "What I will say is, I hope you're better at keeping other promises you've made."
"What? Like, when I promised I'll always love you?" Steven peered down at him, an amused smile tugging at his lips. Johnny raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"Sure. I might keep that one, we'll see." He teased, though the warmth in his voice spoke more volumes than he'd probably ever care to admit.
Even after Steven's rather annoying display of indecision, Johnny still couldn't help but return that soppy little smile, a sign of the affection behind their bantering and bickering.
"I should think so, you old sod." He returned playfully, leaning up to press a kiss to Steven's cheek.
Steven tilted his head down into it, his grumpy exterior quickly breaking down once more in the face of the other man's affections.
"How about you decide what we watch?" Steven mumbled after a moment or two of nestling his head quietly against Johnny's. He didn't have it in him to continue his aimless search.
Johnny simply chuckled. "Alright."
He smirked, adding, "Stereotypical reality tv show it is then."
"...I walked right into that one, didn't I?"
"I'd say so." Johnny reached over to take the remote from Steven. "Just kidding though. We'll put some doctor who on, eh?"
"I don't know which is worse." Steven grumbled, "You or that television."
But he remained seated during the whole show, snuggling up to Johnny. So, it was probably quite obvious what he truly thought about the other man.