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The TV was busted. It had its crescendo, and now it was a boiling hot piece of metal. Mr. Boss recoiled as quickly as he touched it, then had the amazing idea to fry some eggs on it. He hummed and sang as he tied on his apron and got to work on the break room table with a spatula in tow.
He waited patiently for the yolks to start sizzling after he delicately poured them. Suddenly… he heard a little chittering noise. The obsolete man assumed that they began to cook—oddly soon—so he cut them into tinier pieces and moved them around the skillet. The eggs were all slimy and wet though, making the job pretty difficult.
The noise became louder and more constant and it got increasingly clear that it wasn’t just the eggs sizzling… but something else. It was like hearing a rat sneeze or bunny honk. It reminded him of his Guinea pigs from back when he was just a boy, making giddy little chirping sounds after their bellies got all full of hay.
“Allan, do you hear that?”
Allan took Glep’s place on the bean bag chair, since he was out sick today. Charlie questioned it as the green critter was virtually immortal. Contrastingly, the bossman said that Glep needed the rest if he wanted to be an efficient and 'smiling' employee.
Allan didn’t respond until the noises stopped. “Hear what?”
“Ow, I’m probably just hallucinating things.”
The little chittering noises started up again and Mr. Boss silently observed how nasal they were.
“I think we might have a rat infestation or- or something,” the boss spoke up once more.
Allan shook his head and leaned back into his chair. “Mmmm, I don’t think so.”
“I swear, there’s like tiny little squeaking noises!”
The human scratched the back of his head and ducked it down to search for possible mouse holes or points of entrance for mice. The critter with a similar affinity to cheese as the little organisms mumbled, “nah.”
Mr. Boss scoffed. “You’re not hearing what I’m hearing?”
Allan relented. “Boss, it’s me.”
An eyebrow was raised. “You’re the one making those noises?”
“Mmmyes what you’re making smells really good. Despite your idea being a fire hazard.”
Mr. Boss lit up with a little swing to his voice, “So you are!!…” then it lowered to his regular one, “Why are you doing that?”
“It’s a critter thing.” Allan frowned.
“Oh,” Mr. Boss swayed his arms side to side in apologies, his eyes widening. “Pardon me! I didn’t know! Aw, turn that frown upside down… we’re the Smiling Friends, for goodness sake!” He ends that quote with the quick flip of an egg.
“It’s just… humans think it’s pretty weird, so I kinda just avoid doing it. Some guy called me a furry once.”
—And furries were totally fine! He just knew the word was occasionally used in a derogatory manner. In fact, Allan had met a few furries on his own time in conventions and found they were just really cool people that enjoyed dressing up in animal mascot costumes of their own design. One gave him free hand paws, which really completed his catgirl maid outfit for SakuraCon.
“Aw shucks. I don’t think it’s weird, as one of the weirdest guys in town, of course!” Boss helpfully quipped.
That was very debatable, considering all the things the Smiling Friends have seen thus far.
“So… uh, did anything prompt it?"
Allan sunk into Glep’s comfy throne with a satisfied grumble of his throat, “I feel very much relaxed right now— the smell, the chair, the temperature— It’s all perfect!” He gave plenty of room for that ‘tuh’ in his dialogue. "No wonder Glep sits here all day."
"Well, he is the only one brave enough to sit there after... the incident." Mr. Boss's face darkened as he looked down at the yolks cooking on the pan. Allan decided not to ask.
"I probably wouldn't have made those noises if any other human was in the room." The red critter twiddled his fingers together before responding with, “Me thinks I got a little more comfortable with you after that night in the lodge.”
Oh. Right. That happened. They were unsure of how to feel about it— so they didn’t even bother figuring that one out.
'It was a midst in the moment sorta thing,' they said. So they treated it as a casual, friendly favor they’d ironically avoid talking about in the future. Oh boy, were they gonna talk about that? Well, Allan did lick cookie crumbs off of his boss's bare body... but... they were just jesting around, right?
“I’m really glad to hear that, Allan.” The human said with a surprisingly earnest tone.
“Are you?”
“Heck yeah!”
Allan closed his laptop and got up to leave it on the bean bag chair. He then went over to his boss on the table and took a deep whiff of the eggs. His satisfied grumble turned into a couple of long-winded chirps.
The side of Mr. Boss’s mouth crooked up at the, admittedly, consoling noises. “Ohoh~ so you must really like the smell of these eggs!”
The critter sighed, the smoke wafting away as he did so.
“Maybe it’s the TV that’s making it smell good.”