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It’s actually disgusting how Sae comes over to her ex’s house every time something goes wrong in her personal life, but she just dismisses this thought and parks the car.
Not like it was her reaching out this time? Bunny texted her in an embarrassingly desperate way asking how is Sae doing — Sae just replied. And drove here. She was heartbroken and Bunny took advantage of it, she’s just a victim of the situation. Maybe not heartbroken as she didn’t even like the girl she was dating, but after that pig dumped Sae, her ego was hurt enough to sprint back into her ex lover’s arms. It was still Bunny’s fault. Who texts their ex at 2 am and expects it to stay friendly? When the ex in question got dumped the day before? Maybe not the day before, maybe the ex in question got dumped cause the new chick went through her phone and found Bunny’s texts. Maybe.
Sae might be an asshole. But it’s not her fault she cannot seem to meet someone to build a relationship with: everyone she meets is either after her because of fame and money, or has a weird kink for asian girls, or just unfit. Not like Bunny was the one to build a relationship with. Not a serious one anyway. Almost two decades of being single and never experiencing teenage love echoed only now when Sae was 23 and she became what media called a “serial dater”.
It’s like turning from a duckling into a swan, really. In her teenage years, the gloomy aura outweighed her exceptional looks, but as she grew up her beauty ended up cancelling out the terrible personality and aloofness of hers. Is that how serial daters are born? Sae has succeeded at convincing herself she’s fine on her own, but man, did it feel nice to be desired… Did Taylor Swift make this thought an unoriginal one? Sae was always mildly disgusted by how people would tear down that white girl for dating around, but now that she’s a grown up, she actively hated it. There are a lot of things to hate Taylor Swift for and people pick her love life?
There are a lot of things to hate Sae for too: she’s not the best daughter or sister, she missed 3 shots last season, she, although it’s scary to admit, once used a private jet. But her exes hate her for being a cheater? Okay, a cheater that doesn’t admit her faults to be more specific. But still, that was almost as stupid as the Taylor Swift case. And Sae is not even a pop music fan to be thinking about that woman this much.
She didn’t date that much people? She grabbed coffee with a blasian actress. Spent an award show by an influencer’s side. Attended cousin’s wedding with literally just some guy Rin introduced to her. This month. Oh, and the chick that just dumped her today. It’s not a big deal! Dating is not a big deal at all and people who say otherwise are pissing Sae off. Maybe she was a part of that heartless generation chronically online people loved to whine about. Or maybe it’s fine to date people casually and not have suicidal thoughts if it doesn’t work out. A crazy thing to say, but maybe you also need to date someone first before confessing your love to them… Even crazier, maybe texting dumb shit like “good night, my love” isn’t necessary on a daily basis. Or maybe Sae just really was a heartless bitch who didn’t get it, though she hated to use that word.
Not like Bunny made her feel like love is real, that’d be such a corny excuse. Of course love was a real thing, Sae was just too young for it, too young to even look for it, so she was after something else. Familiarity, passion, fun. She knew Bunny since she was what, thirteen? They always had that tension. When they were thirteen it felt like hatred, but when they reunited later in life it transformed into lust. But it wasn’t soulless lust, they shared some connection that cannot be described by words, not by someone as “fancy” with their words as Sae at least. Bunny knew how to respond to whatever Sae had to say as well as she knew when to not respond or respond to something Sae does not have to say. It was weird how much this white girl understood her despite not having as much in common with her as that white girl.
There was something so nice about being known like that. As a kid, Sae believed that her little sister is the closest she can get to having a soulmate, as a teenager, Sae stopped believing in that dogshit of a concept, and now, as an adult, she discovered that Bunny definitely is the continuation of her soul.
So it’s not like she had a choice anyway. She was powerless here, as she made her way to the elevator. She was just heartbroken, as she knocked on the door. She was just… Actually, this showed that she’s no serial dater! If you always end up with the same person that actually makes you pretty loyal. If you think about it..!
Was it really that wrong? Sae had a whole lot of duties and responsibilities, and keeping everything in the right order was just so much pressure. She has a right to be messy with one thing in her life. Plus it’s not like it’s bad. “I hate situationships” culture is overrated anyway — just say you hate fun, just say you enjoy playing house at your grown age. Situationships, fun and being stranded is not always romantic, but it’s always exciting. What’s wrong with prioritising excitement? Playing house is exhausting. Sae never played it even as a child. She only played… soccer. Now here it fully stops making sense.
Although when you think about it for too long it kinda is embarrassing — always coming back for a hook up, knowing damn well you two are never getting into a relationship. Is it embarrassing? Embarrassing for who? Maybe there was nothing to be embarrassed about. Relationships, marriages, families — all of these are made up by humans, not natural. Can’t an individual want a connection that doesn’t have a proper label? There was time when three of those didn’t have one either, but look at modern people — all of them are very into that big three now! What’s the point? Marriage wouldn’t lose its meaning if it didn’t have a name. So the lack of name for Sae’s relationship with Bunny doesn’t mean it’s not a valid one. Oh, that one is good.
The door opens and Sae is met with a knowing smile. This isn’t happening because Sae loves Bunny. Maybe she is just trying to prove herself that she’s not what people see her as. It can be quite suffocating to be put into a box of stereotypes by parasocial fans who’ve been unemployed for a concerning period of time. They slap Sae with labels and spit out their fables: ice cold, mean, resentful of her teammates, they even call her straight sometimes. With fanbase that huge it’s not hard to start believing those words, even if just subconsciously. Imagine a million people standing in front of you, convincing you that you have three legs. Exactly. Not like you will believe that, but you’ll look down to check. So maybe all this was an act of defiance against what’s expected from her. You don’t expect your celebrity crush to drop everything for their situationship of ten years. Or do yall?
This is about you. You know who you are.
She doesn’t love Bunny. She knows that once they both satisfy their wild desires she won’t want anything to do with that woman for a year or so more. She knows Bunny is better as a concept.
Sae can’t seem to find any more excuses for being so easy and letting Bunny have her way every single time even when Sae finds someone new and genuinely means to make it right this time. She still sleeps with Bunny. Still feels nauseous when they finish. Still will cheat on her next girlfriend to repeat the cycle. Sae probably is an asshole.