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"Ve! Ludwig!" Called a familiar voice. It was Feliciano, Ludwig's friend and ally. It was always the same everyday. Feliciano always looked at Ludwig, talked about Ludwig, seeked Ludwig— It was unfair really. How was he supposed to ignore how fulfilling and satisfying it was to be someones everything, even as he claimed to hate the attention. He couldn't stand Feliciano's voice everyday, every waking hour, for every little issue that arose, it was always "Ludwig this!" and "Ludwig that!"
Yet he also loved being needed, he found himself falling further into a dangerous co-dependency. Feliciano messes up? Well then he NEEDED Ludwig to clean it up, it was a mutual toxic fascination between the two. It was always a thought in the back of his mind, the fact that this would never work. They would never remain friends if he continued that way— but how was he supposed to change? It was impossible with how far he'd fallen down that path.
"Ich liebe dich, Italien."
His soft lips, plush stomach from all the pasta he eats.. Really every part of Feliciano was perfect.
Since they've been together nothing had changed, they continued relying on each other— until he couldn't.
When had Feliciano began changing? He started becoming independent. Realistically he should have been happy for Feliciano— love him more because of it— but he just couldn't. He was disappointed rather, how is he supposed to be needed— supposed to help Feliciano when he does it himself?
And Feliciano knew this— felt the crack forming in their relationship the further along they were, the relationship built on the need to be needed, at least on Ludwig's end. It began to show with less intimacy, less communication, less happiness and more fighting. It was his fault, wasn't it? For not being the same — changing into a man Ludwig didn't love.
Ludwig was beating himself over it. There was plenty of things he found attractive about the Italian— he was like the sun; warm and bright—but if he loved Feliciano as he claimed, why is this "unconditional love" dissolving at the thought of his growth and change.
Feliciano wasn't surprised when it happened. He saw it coming as he stood alone on the pier, wind blowing through his hair, unshed tears welling up in his eyes as he tried not to break down then and there.
It was a nice run really, Ludwig never regretted his relationship with Feliciano. He still loved the other man— truly, even after a whole decade. Ludwig knew how toxic his thinking was, hell, still is. Maybe in another life they'd build a beautiful family— that his other self would treat Feliciano better than he ever could, like the Italian properly deserved.
Feliciano found it difficult to recover properly, spending his time painting portraits of old pictures they took together, highlighting Ludwig's attractive features, especially his smile, heart heavy with nostalgia— especially since this wasn't his first heartbreak since childhood— A boy he vaguely even remembers now, yet filled his heart with sorrow and unreturned love for the boy.
Maybe he is just undesirable.
He lives out his days in solitude, after all, it was all his fault for changing in the end, wasn't it?
Yeah, all his fault.
'VE! LUDWIGGGG!" A voice yelped, immediately scrambling to look around the dark room before finding the familiar body next to him and clinging to him. "Agh!" The man groaned before turning towards the other male with an exhausted sigh, "Ja..? What is it now..?" He slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes and registering the tears that fell from Feliciano's face. He moved without thinking, cupping the Italian's face and using his thumbs to wipe the tears away.
"Y-YOU WON'T GET BORED OF ME EVER.. RIGHT? EVEN IF I CHANGE..?" He suddenly began crying more and louder. "Ah, another nightmare? Nein, Feliciano. I promise to never get bored of you." The German pulled Feliciano into a hug, letting him cry into his shoulder even being half asleep.
"You promise..?" Feliciano looked up at Ludwig, eyes shimmering even in the dim room, Ludwig's heart fluttering at the sight, a light blush on his cheeks. "Ja.. now go to sleep, we have training tomorrow." He mumbled, both in an exhausted manner and a flustered manner as he slowly releases the Italian. "Kiss..please.." Feliciano gripped Ludwig's shirt to keep him from laying back down.
With a resignated sigh, Ludwig leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead before laying back down, Feliciano smiling as the last of his tears fall from his cheeks. He quickly hugged Ludwig from behind tightly —as if afraid he'd leave during the night— and slowly fell back asleep, a soft smile gracing his lips.
Maybe it's not his fault after all.