Work Text:
Patryk was standing at the altar of a church. It was a small church, nothing special, but it was enough. He was about to get married to the love of his life and honestly, he'd be happy if it took place in a dumpster. Patryk had been waiting for this day the minute they exchanged their first "I love you's" and now that it was here...he couldn't believe it. It hardly felt real. Patryk could barley stand still, hopping a bit in place as he waited for his soon-to-be husband to finally walk down the isle. He found himself constantly patting down his suit, making sure he looked okay. He continuously ran his hand through his hair and took deep breaths, trying to slow down his rapidly beating heart. He could do this. He could totally do this.
At that moment the entire crowd stood up and Patryk could have sworn his heart stopped. He took a long, deep breath before glancing down the isle. There he saw his fiancé nervously walking towards him. Patryk hardly even realized the widening smile on his face until Paul looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. It was adorable. Patryk had to do everything in his power not to pounce on top of him and shower him with kisses. The way his eyes shimmered with a happiness that only a groom could feel, the way his hands wrung together nervously, the way his feet shuffled across the ground as he walked...Patryk was in love with all of it. Patryk blew a kiss to Paul and Paul blushed, looking down to hide a smile.
God, Patryk was in love with this man.
After what seemed like an eternity Paul was standing in front of Patryk, hand in hand, staring lovingly into each others eyes. They smiled at each other and Patryk brushed some stray hair out of Paul's eyes. Paul laughed quietly. All Patryk wanted to do was kiss him one million times over right then and there. They could hardly hear the pastor talking - all they cared about was each other. In their eyes, they were the only ones standing in that room. They couldn't be any more happy.
"Will you, Patryk, take this man to be your wedded husband?" That snapped him back into reality. He blinked before grinning so wide his cheeks hurt, not hesitating for a second with his answer.
"I will."
"And will you, Paul, take this man to be your wedded husband?"
Patryk could tell how giddy Paul was by the way he slightly bounced from one foot to the other. God, he was adorable. "I will."
They could hardly contain themselves. Patryk wanted to jump around in circles, pick Paul up and carry him away. This was the best moment in his entire life. He wanted to be with Paul for the rest of his life.
"You may kiss your husband."
Time seemed to slow down. Patryk and Paul looked at each other, eyes gleaming with happiness and smiles on their faces that couldn't be wiped away. Patryk then began leaning in, slowly closing his eyes. He was so, so happy.
And then he woke up.
Patryk shot up in his bed, heart pounding and hair sticking to his face. He quickly looked beside him to see an empty space. He stared at it for a while, trying to process what just happened. He was just...at the church... Tears welled up in his eyes as the events replayed in his head. It was a...dream....? Before he knew it, tears were freely streaming down his cheeks. His body was shuddering uncontrollably. Paul was... He swallowed, sobs beginning to force their way out. No, no, no. Paul wasn't...
"Paul," Patryk choked out, gripping at the sheets where Paul used to sleep beside him. He grabbed Paul's pillow and buried his face in it, sobbing as he thought of the events that had happened years before. The pillow used to hold the scent of cigarette smoke from Paul's addiction. It was the one thing Patryk could hold on to.
The pillow didn't smell anymore, though.
He barley even registered the door to his room opening, or the loud shouting from someone trying to get his attention.
"-tryk! Dammit, Patryk." The pillow was ripped from his grasp and Patryk let out a cry, immediately reaching out for it again. Tord had snatched it away from him. Patryk looked up at his leader with pleading, teary eyes as his shoulders continued to shudder with sobs.
"What is wrong with you?! It's been three god damn years, get over it," Tord snarled, throwing the pillow across the room. Before Patryk could leap to grab it, Tord had shoved him back down. "He betrayed us! He probably never even loved you!"
Patryk could only stare up at Tord. It felt that with those words something inside him broke. No, no, no, no...Paul wouldn't do that, he wouldn't, he couldn't have...All those years...He couldn't do anything but allow the sobs and tears to escape. He couldn't move.
He didn't want to move ever again.
Tord had a look in his eyes that could be mistaken for regret before it quickly disappeared. He straightened himself and scoffed.
"Pull yourself together and get to work within the next ten minutes."
And then he left.
Patryk had not pulled himself together for a good few minutes after Tord had left. Once he could finally move again, he slowly got out of bed and walked to Paul's side. He opened up a small drawer beside the bed and picked up Paul's old cigarette case. Patryk hadn't been able to smoke when Paul was still here, but ever since he left it seemed that he was a lot more capable of doing just that.
He pulled out the lighter that Paul had kept there and lit a cigarette, holding it to his mouth before letting out a breath of smoke. He coughed a bit, but he didn't care. He walked towards the window in his room and opened it, staring out across the city beneath him. He watched the cars drive down the roads and people walking on the sidewalks. All of these people acting as if he hadn't been forced to shoot his only love in the chest a few years ago.
It wasn't fair.
Without a second thought, Patryk tossed the lit cigarette on the carpet beneath him. He didn't care what consequence that left. He then grabbed onto the wall and climbed onto the windowsill, standing and feeling the wind blow in his hair. The tears hadn't stopped falling.
He closed his eyes and bit his tongue, attempting to prevent the sobs from escaping.
"I'm so sorry, Paul. I will always love you."
And then he jumped.