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It was late—around 1 am—as Shuichi decided to go out for a walk, due to him not being able to sleep. He had experienced a lot of stress with the killing game in the last few days, so he was really sleep deprived. He put on his black hoodie and walked out of his dorm room. What he didn’t know was that Kaede and Kokichi were currently taking a walk too.
“Oh Kaede!!” Kokichi whispered, “I’m sorry, but imma go over to Shuichi, BAII!!”
Before Kaede could answer, Kokichi was running off to Shuichi already.
Shuichi noticed him first, the wind blowing through his hair gently. “Oh hey, Kokichi! What are you doing here?” he asked as Kokichi stopped in front of him.
“Hello, my beloved detective!! What are you doing here??” Kokichi asked, with the cocky grin he always wore.
Kokichi got closer and looked up at his face, nonetheless the height difference, with Kokichi being rather short, while Shuichi would count as a rather tall person.
Shuichi couldn’t even answer before feeling Kokichi coming closer to him, but he didn’t push him away, hoping he wouldn’t notice his immense eye bags. “Just taking a walk, how about you..?”
Kokichi just looked at his face a little, before taking a step back, looking like his usual cocky self, but with a slight hint of worry in his eyes.
“You really should sleep, I couldn’t have my beloved Shuichi dying from sleep deprivation now, could I?~” he declared.
“I sleep just fine, don’t worry,” he answered, seeing the slight hint of worry in Kokichi’s eyes.
Without even replying to Shuichi, Kokichi grabbed Shuichi’s hand gently, but firmly. His hand was warm and comforting somehow, but it felt… wrong.
“Ehh-? What are you doing?” Shuichi asked, completely caught off guard by Kokichi’s sudden act. His heart was beating slightly faster, and his breath hitched slightly.
Kokichi started walking, still holding his hand. “I’m bringing you to your dorm, I can’t have my beloved Shuichi dying of sleep deprivation, can I?”
“There’s no need,” Shuichi exclaimed, looking away from the shorter male in front of him.
“Just come with meeeee, omg,” Kokichi groaned, ignoring Shuichi’s plea completely. He started walking and he wasn’t letting go of his hand.
Shuichi, of course, noticed Kokichi not letting his hand go, but he chose to ignore it. “Just don’t do anything stupid,” he mumbled.
Kokichi looked fake hurt and declared: “Huh? I would never do anything to my beloved Shuichi!”
Shuichi giggled slightly, but it was more of a tired and rather annoyed one, not a happy one. “Yeah as if, how I know you, you’d probably burn my dorm down as soon as I’m closing my eyes.”
Kokichi let out an overdramatic gasp and clutched his chest, obviously just faking it though. “So that’s how you feel about me? You’re hurting my feelings!” he whispered, but then he changed back to his usual grin, “sounds like me, though.”
Shuichi thought for a second, and remembered something he wanted to ask Kokichi. “Now that I think about it, you never actually told me how you feel about me, like actually me.”
Kokichi stopped walking for a second, still holding Shuichi’s hand tightly. Was this a good opportunity to tell him? To actually tell him how he felt..? Kokichi went quiet, his usual demeanour changing somehow. “About you…” he whispered, “let’s just walk to your dorm first.”
Kokichi started walking again, faster this time—not running, still walking—somehow wanting to get there as soon as possible.
Shuichi was a little caught up by the change of speed, but he didn’t question it for now.
The rest of the walk, around 5 minutes, was silent—but not comfortable silence—nagging silence.
As they finally reached Shuichi’s dorm, he opened the door and walked in, holding the door open for Kokichi. Kokichi walked in and closed the door behind him, sighing quietly.
Shuichi sat down on his bed and waited for Kokichi to sit down too. Kokichi sat down next to Shuichi, just slightly closer than he should, but not really noticeable.
Shuichi didn’t even notice the shorter male being a little closer, and just waited for Kokichi to say something.
“You’re right…” Kokichi whispered, finally breaking the silence, “my whole demeanour, my whole personality, it’s an act—a mask.”
Shuichi, who somehow expected this, just nodded and let Kokichi go on with his speech.
“About you…” Kokichi started, not knowing if he should lie again; he was known for lying after all, but… he was with Shuichi, “I-…” he hesitated for a second, “I like you, Shuichi, more than I should.”
Shuichi’s eyes widened, but he composed himself quickly again. “Kokichi… I… I don’t feel the same, I’m sorry..” he whispered, feeling guilty. He didn’t want to hurt Kokichi, he loved him, just not in that way, but he couldn’t force himself to feel differently.
Kokichi expected this, and just smiled weakly. “I expected that…” he mumbled, standing up, shaking a little. Why was he shaking, was he sad? No, he knew this would happen, he couldn’t be sad… he shouldn’t be, right?
He cursed himself, for being so weak. He hated weak people more than anything—people who thought with their hearts, not their heads, but sometimes he wished he could live like them, without the worries, maybe someone would like him then.
As Kokichi walked out, he looked back once again; “I hope you’re happy.” And walked out.
Instead of walking to his dorm, he walked towards Miu’s dorm—he didn’t actually have any friends except for Shuichi, but Miu was the most understanding, somehow.
He knocked at Miu’s dorm, his mask completely off now—he hated being so vulnerable, so… pathetic. “Can I come in, Miu..?”
Miu opened the door—she knew about Kokichi’s crush on Shuichi—and knew something was off when she looked at the shorter male. “Yeah, come in..”
Kokichi walked in and sat down on her bed. “I told him…”
Miu sat down next to Kokichi, she knew what Kokichi meant. “You told Shuichi..? What did he say…?”
Kokichi looked away slightly. “He doesn’t feel the same—I expected that, tho,” he whispered.
“Are you mad at him..?” she asked, somehow expecting him to be.
“..No, I still love him, and you want the people you love to be happy… right..?” he explained.
“…yeah..”
*yeah*
“I wish I wouldn’t have said that, that day…” Shuichi mumbled, but, hah, it was too late. Kokichi was dead, already.