Work Text:
“Guess what I did today?”
“Kissed a girl? You’re too young, you know.”
“No, ew. And no I’m not, I’m ten.”
“All right. You’ll learn, kid.”
“We did biology today.”
“I’m not sure I like where this is going.”
“Not that kind, Feuilly. Still gross.”
“Okay, I’ll bite. What did you do today?”
“Learned about worms.”
“Don’t you go to an all-boys school?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“…God have mercy on your teacher’s sanity.”
“Mrs. Hannity made us stop throwing them, but I left one in her desk.”
“I’ll make sure Eponine sends her a cookie basket in apology. Speaking of, Pythius, where’s your sister?”
“She went to buy dinner because she knew you’d be here soon. What’s a Pythius?”
“If she’d known what you’d gotten up to today, she wouldn’t have. It’s a demon of mischief.”
“Well, if I’m Pythius, what does that make Eponine?”
“A perfect angel.”
“Ha! You don’t know her at all.”
“Better than you’d think.”
“….EWWWWW!”
“Don’t push me, infant—what the hell is that?”
“A flatworm! I saved a couple!”
“That’s fu—freaking disgusting. Put that away.”
“No. Payback time.”
“Get that thing away from me, Gavroche, or so help…”
“Feuilly?”
“…Feuilly?”
“Hey, Gav! Is Gael here?”
“…Yeah. But Ep? He’s on the floor.”
“What?”
“…I showed him a flatworm, because he talked about kissing you, and he turned kind of green, and…”
“Gavroche Toulouse Thenardier, can’t I leave you alone for five minutes?”
“I’m sorry, Eponine! I didn’t know!”
“….Huh? What happened?”
“Gavroche, put that away. I don’t ever want to see it again—Apparently you don’t like worms.”
“I don’t like squishy things. There’s a difference.”
“You feeling all right?”
“Yeah…is it gone?”
“Yes.”
“Good. You also need to buy something nice for Mrs. Hannity.”
“That boy costs me more than my shoe budget.”
“…really?”
“Do you really believe that?”
“I don’t think I can answer that safely.”
“You’d be right. Can you sit up?”
“Yeah. Thanks—what?”
“…”
“Eponine, why are you laughing?”
“…”
“GAVROCHE!”
(about fifteen minutes later)
“Eponine, it isn’t coming off!”
“It’s just a Sharpie!”
“Well, it isn’t coming off!”
“Gavroche, you’re grounded.”
“I’m already grounded from the garbage…and the dog…and the flatworm.”
“Well, you’re grounded until you graduate.”
“High school or college?”
“That’s it. No more rated-R movies.”
“Ep, that’s not fair!”
“No, what’s not fair is that I have a PENIS on my cheek. I have to be at work in an hour.”
“Not just your cheek…”
“I’m going to murder you.”
“I’ll help.”
“Check your other cheek.”
“It’s blank.”
“Not that one.”
“GAVROCHE I SWEAR TO THE LORD JESUS ALMIGHTY YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO SEE COURFEYRAC AGAIN!”