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"ahh ahh , yes Right there, oh-Oh my god, Louis.." ,and the entire room was covered in grunts and whimpers that left Harry's lips while Louis relentlessly pounded into him, bare and rough.
That was all that the night brought Louis, a careless one night stand, but left Harry broken, yet again. Only this time, it was not just his mind and soul that got fucked, it was literally him too. And the worst part, even though he knew Louis regrets it, he doesn't. Wasn't it all that he wanted? To feel closer to Louis. To have his warm skin against his, his lips against his and that's what he got. Isn't it? That was all that he wanted? Probably not. He wanted Louis for himself, he wanted Louis to pepper him with kisses and explore his whole body sucking on the spots that would make Harry go weak in his knees, spots only Louis would know about. He didn't want to be the careless one night stand that Louis would end up regretting but that was all he was.
*******
So two months later, after relentless throwing up and a visit to the doctor's chamber and after a few tests, he was given back the reports which had "PREGNANT" written in bold.
So, apparently Harry Styles was fucked and knocked up.
Given the fact that working in a departmental store was not at all enough for Harry to withstand him through the stage of pregnancy, He went to his only safe haven on earth, the only person who would give up their everything in return for a smile from Harry, His mum.
The Styles' household or rather the "mansion" as Harry likes to call it, is nothing fancy, with SPECIAL EMPHASIS ON NOTHING. Just a barely standing still house, paint chipping off from the walls and just the meagre necessity to keep a person alive, that was all that was available in the house. But, you can't really blame anyone for the poverty and the lack of money. Half, rather more than half of Harry's earning would go off in his mum's medicine and well, the rest in paying bills and feeding their stomachs.
Quietly creaking his mother's bedroom door open, Harry stepped inside careful not to knock something off in the process.
"Hey, mum!" , Harry whispered after settling himself down by his mother's side.
Even weak to open her eyes properly, Anne carefully blinked a few times before opening her eyes briskly. She doesn't have much time, the doctor had said.
"Hi baby" ,Anne's voice barely even a whisper.
"Uhh, Mum.. I have got to tell you something.. Its uhh just that Umm -I'm kinda pregnant?" ,Harry finally breathed after getting the words off his chest.
"How can you be 'KINDA' pregnant?", Anne sounded utterly shocked.
"I-I'm pr-pregnant, Mum and it's Louis' and I don't know what to do, Mum. He literally hates me, can't even bare to look at me and now i ended up being pregnant and I-I just don't know what to do, Mum. What do i do? I love him so much, Mum and I a-already love the little human growing inside me but I know if I tell Louis, he'll just go bat shit crazy and I can't stand him hating me anymore than he already does" ,Harry was weeping uncontrollably and Anne just felt so helpless because there was nothing she could do to avoid getting her son's heart broken. She has known Louis, known him since he was 5, almost spent the entire day with him, well, wasn't that what all babysitters did?
And yes, That's how Harry and Louis met, when one day Anne brought Harry along with her because her husband finally bailed out on them and promised to never look back. She couldn't just leave her 3 year toddler at home, now, could she? So, since that day when Anne talked to Jay if Harry was welcomed to stay till Anne was babysitting Louis, Jay gladly squeezed her hand in assurance and smiled up to her telling her it was more than okay!
Well, it was different when back in the day they were 5 and 3, and with each passing year, Louis grew more distant as Harry grew closer, till the point when Louis was 18 and Harry was 16, the mere presence of Harry would just knock Louis out of his mind and he would be burning with fury. Although, no one knew why Louis hated Harry so much, never knew why ,when Harry bought Louis a present for his birthday after saving for months, it would be found in the dumpster right outside their house. No one knew but Harry was far too gone to feel such hurt, he knew how Louis was, he knew how Louis loved hurting Harry, so he just let him. Because Harry was far too gone for the boy who hated him for reasons unknown.
And sudden coughing and heaving sounds broke Harry out of his flashbacks and he was quick to react, fetching a glass of water for his mum who was coughing up her guts.
"Talk to Jay. She'll understand." , Anne said after chugging down the glass of water and calming herself, breathing down.
And that left Harry thinking. Should he? Should he Talk to Jay? She is Louis' mother after all, why would she listen to Harry and his pathetic needs and Harry didn't want pity, not at all. But it was his only way out, he wanted his baby healthy but he didn't want anyone's money, and it was all back to square one. What should he do?
So an entire night of brainstorming, lots of self loathing and tears and a processed, well thought decision. Finally!
********
So, next morning Harry stood outside The Tomlinson mansion, buzzing the door bell, anticipating a rude welcome from Louis, like always. But it was Jay who opened the door this time. Strange. Shaking all the thoughts, Harry just walked in.
"Hey uh Hi, Jay. I hope i am not intruding but I really had something important talk about." ,Harry was so nervous, he felt sweat forming on his forehead and he quickly wiped them off with the back of his shirtsleeve.
"You aren't intruding, Harry. So tell me, what it is that you wanted to talk about?" ,Jay asked with her voice full of affection and it were times like these when Harry debated if and How Louis was Jay's son, like How?
"Uhm I uh i-i'm pregnant" ,Harry mumbled out carefully registering Jay's expression in the process.
"Oh my god ,dear. That's wonderful. Do i know who the guy is? And how far along are you" ,Jay beamed at Harry.
"Uh.. six, no actually, seven weeks along, well, that's what Dr. Grey said." and then after a long deafening silence "And it's Louis'. "
Harry couldn't even decipher anything from Jay's blank expression. She was stoic as a stone, no words escaping her lips.
"Jay?" ,Harry tried calling her out from her state of shock.
"Uh oh umm. Wow. This is a lot to take in. Does Louis know?" ,to which Harry slowly shook his head.
"You have to tell him. I'll tell him for you, if that's what you want, Harry. But please, He needs to know" ,Jay pleaded to Harry, her voice so soft.
"I can't, Jay. Please. You can't tell him. He hates me already, i can't take to him hating me even more. Please, Jay. I just came to ask for some help, is all. I want this baby. I love this little angel already and I am here begging you to give me a job, i can't provide for myself with a job in the store. A job is all that i am asking for ,Jay. please." ,and Harry didn't even realise when a few teardrops slipped past his eyes, rolling down his cheeks.
"Ok shh, Harry. It's okay,love. I totally understand your position, baby. Just don't stress yourself, okay? Its not good for either of you. I won't say anything to Louis, until you are ready. I promise, i won't. And about the job, i don't know Harry. But i want you in front of my eyes after knowing the news, and i want to make sure both of you and my grand baby are okay. So, there's only one thing i can think of at the moment, H. You know, Katy, right? Our cook? Well, she left the job and I was looking for someone. So.." ,Jay trailed her words for Harry to pick up on what she was insinuating.
"I can't live here, Jay. My mum, she needs me" ,Harry was close to tears, again.
"Don't worry about anything, Harry. I'll shift Anne to the best hospital and she'll be under the best care. Please just consider what i am saying, its best for everyone" ,Jay said waiting for a reply from Harry.
"Okay" ,came an almost inaudible reply from Harry even though he knew right that instant how much he would regret living under the same roof as Louis.
And with minutes, Jay's arms engulfed Harry in a hug, with constant whispering of "It's going to be okay".
*******
Two days later ,after Jay and Harry settled everything, Anne was put to the most expensive hospital, under constant care and observation and Harry was moved to the guest room in The Tomlinson mansion.
He was going to do it. Harry was going to stay under the same roof as Louis and to top if off, he was going to give birth to Louis' child in a matter of a few more months. Everything felt surreal.
Just as Harry finished making his last pancake, taking it out of the pan, he placed the pancakes on the dining table, with boiled and scrambled eggs, freshly squeezed Orange juice and everything was set down, from cutleries to plates to every possible necessity. Harry was quite proud of himself.
And there goes his cloud of happiness with the gush of wind, called Louis Tomlinson.
"Look who we have here. Hey there, Curly. So Mum found a replacement for Katy, I see" ,Louis smirked.
And Harry would be lying if he said that it didn't hurt because it did, it hurt so much. And he feels so stupid to have even kept his hopes up,to be crushed even more. But he kept chanting to himself that it was what was best for his baby and his mum.
Simply gulping down all the crude comments, Harry just served the breakfast and went back inside the kitchen to clean the space and get started with arranging everything for lunch.
And while chopping an onion, if he cried and he cried relentlessly, then well, he had the onion to be blamed for that.
*******
Days passed along, and it was already a month Harry started his job at Louis' house and dying a little everyday with Louis' hurtful remarks and comments.
But, when everyday at night, sounds of screams of pleasure and whimpering came right across from Louis' room, Louis' girlfriend screaming out Louis' name, Harry didn't try to console himself that it was okay. He just cried. Every night. Every time.
Louis has a girl friend. Harry didn't know that. Louis has had her girlfriend for more than an year now and Harry had no clue about it. Louis was committed when they slept together. Louis just cheated on his girl friend with Harry. And all the new information made Harry want to throw up and die with self loathing, so that's exactly what he did,well not the dying part at least.
*******
Days have passed along, uneventful, with Harry crying every night, talking to his baby girl or boy who was inside him, growing with each passing day and Harry just wanted Louis to hold him and wipe away his tears but Louis could only help in making Harry shed tears, not wipe them away.
It was almost two months that Harry found out that he was pregnant and almost two months since he moved to Louis' house.
There's a small party today in the Tomlinson household, apparently Louis' friends were just going to hang out and there was going to music and alcohol and well, Louis. That was all Harry knew. He was instructed with all the snacks he had to prepare and Harry felt like shit, his morning sickness has become worse and his entire body hurts and the smell of food made him nauseous.
But well, it was his job and he didn't want another emotional breaking with Louis' harsh words, the hormones were already bad, he didn't want to make it worse.
And It was evening when the entire house boomed in music and there were people getting off of each other, drinking down bottles after bottles of alcohol and Harry just wanted to run away, from everything.
He didn't want to stand there watching Louis' tongue literally down the girl's throat, Lucy, Harry thought her name was. The same girl, who has been around Louis for the past year. Louis' girlfriend. But Harry didn't want to witness it anymore, with his own eyes.
Just as he was about to leave, Louis called out to him and 'Oh shit'.
"Hey, you! Come here" ,Louis called out pointing his forefinger at Harry.
Reluctantly Harry strode over to Louis and stopped right in front of Louis, glancing at the ground, fiddling with his fingers in nervousness.
"Why do you think we pay you for? Go get some drinks for everyone over here and some snacks too. Now Go!" ,Louis' cold stare was enough for Harry to choke back all the tears brimming up to his eyes, threatening to fall.
Harry simply nodded and went back inside to fetch a tray of the canapes and the drinks Louis asked for.
A few minutes later Harry kept going around with the tray in his hand, and his eyes on the ground, serving the drinks to every single person, that's what he pays for loving Louis Tomlinson, that's what he pays for carrying Louis Tomlinson's child.
Just as he was about to turn around, a strong pair of hands grabbed Harry by his elbows, making him face the person.
"So why is a pretty boy like you totally sober, huh? Get wasted, baby. The night is young" ,the guy slurred out trying to force the filled shot glass down Harry's throat. Panic started overpowering Harry and he instinctively pushed the guy off of him and screamed before storming off the room and ran to his room upstairs.
Not even 10 minutes later, and Louis stormed through Harry's bedroom door, clutching firmly onto his arm and jerking him off the bed.
"What do you think you were doing downstairs, huh? How dare you scream at my friend like that?" and the grip onto Harry's arms tightened and Harry could clearly see how drunk Louis was.
"Louis.. p-please Louis.. Let me go. You are h-hurting me Louis" , Harry kept pleading and it felt like Louis couldn't even hear him
"L-Louis please.. You are hurting u-us" ,and what? Us? Louis was clearly imagining things and was suddenly broken out of his dark trance and the moment he looked down at Harry, Louis felt like dying, he felt like a knife was stabbed through his gut.
Harry looked completely broken, his palms resting on his stomach, his eyes rimmed red and he looked so broken and vulnerable and Louis felt like his entire world cracked through, not even any shards left.
And Louis did what he does best, he ran away. He left Harry, crying and hiccuping ,curling around himself with no one to hold him.
That night, if Louis drove to the empty abandoned park where he and Harry used to go when they were little and if he stayed with his knees tucked into his chest, while he screamed about how fucked up of a human being he was ,then no one knew that.
*******
After Every doctor's appointment Harry would come back and hold the ultrasound close to his chest, and speak to his baby for hours. Anne was doing well, too and Harry couldn't complain, now, could he?
Louis knew. Louis knew that Harry was pregnant, well, Harry's bump was not really helping with the truth to be kept a secret. So Louis knew that Harry was pregnant and That was enough.
Serving dinner for the day, Harry cleared out everything, washed the dishes and was just about to retire to his bed when he heard small shaky sniffles coming out of Louis' bedroom. Harry's mind screamed no, screamed not to go inside, but his feet betrayed him when they stepped inside the dark room, instantly locating Louis in the farthest corner of the bed, his knees close to his chest, chin tucked in his lap, while he kept sobbing. Harry didn't know if he was crossing the line. Carefully walking up to Louis, Harry placed his hand on his shoulder to which Louis instantly jerked away.
As much as Harry was prepared for every possible outburst, He was definitely not prepared for Louis to rush into his arms, tucking his face in the crook of Harry's neck and crying while his palms clutched tightly onto Harry's shirt.
And even though Harry knew how wrong it was, he just let Louis cry, while gently rubbing his hands through Louis' back, soothing him.
"Why can i not be happy, Harry? Why do my life has to be like this?" ,Louis whispered after calming himself down.
"I am the perfect example of what a fucked of a human being someone can be. Everyone is there because of the money I have or the status I hold. I have no one to lean on when I want to cry, Harry. I have no one when i want to just share my thoughts with. I have no one, Harry." , and as much as Harry wanted to tell Louis that he has him whatever the reasons are, he knew he couldn't.
"I-I told Lucy about us, you know, that night and she didn't even retort back, not even once, H. Not even once. I fucking cheated on her and all she did was brush it off as if it didn't even matter to her" , this was the first time Harry was seeing Louis with all his guards down, through all the built walls.
And before Harry could say something, although he was not even sure what he was going to say, Louis splayed his fingers over the expanse of Harry's bump , bringing his lips closer to Harry's stomach.
"You have your Daddy, never let him go. Keep him with you. Keep him forever." , Louis whispered after placing a soft kiss on Harry's bump.
Harry wanted to run away, this was too much. He couldn't stand to see Louis like this, lose his stability and then fall back hard only to never be able to gather the courage to fight back. But , instead Harry just moved his fingers through Louis' hair, scratching his scalp and felt Louis visibly relax under his touch.
"Stay" came a weak sound and Harry didn't have the heart to say no when he could very well see how Louis was on the verge to crumble and break. So he stayed, sleeping on the right side of the bed, while Louis held him to his chest, his arms around Harry's bump, caressing the skin.
*******
And the next morning, Louis woke up alone with an empty heart and a cold bed. So, this is what it feels like being abandoned. This is what Harry might have felt every time Louis insulted him, or that night when Louis left Harry alone. The feeling of abandonment was not good at all, Louis decided.
*******
When Harry pleaded to go away, away from everything, promising to let Jay know if there was anything he needed or any emergency he faced, Jay agreed to let Harry go back to his house, although Anne was still at the hospital, under intensive care.
*******
But two days later, when Jay found her only son on the floor with a shining metal pinched between his forefinger and thumb and blood flowing out of his hand, maybe not that major, Jay couldn't keep everything a secret when her son broke down in her arms confessing how fucked up of a son he is, and how badly he hurt Harry on purpose, it was time Louis knew what responsibilities were on the way and how everything was still not messed up. All Louis had to do was be brave and admit his faults and feelings.
And that was exactly was Louis was going to do, even if Harry or his baby, who was growing inside Harry, accepted him or not.
*******
Incessant knocks and loud banging on the door startled an almost asleep Harry, who carefully stood up and opened the door to his worst nightmare standing right in front of him. Louis William Tomlinson.
Before he could open his mouth, Louis just crashed his lips on Harry's , almost claiming his as his, pouring each and every fibre of his being to a single kiss.
Breaking apart, gasping for air, Louis just reached closer to Harry, lifting his shirt up, exposing Harry's bump.
"It's mine" ,Louis whispered.
Harry felt like his entire world breaking apart, Louis knows? But. How? Jay!
"You didn't tell me" ,Louis' voice was so fragile and vulnerable.
"Was I supposed to?" ,Harry retorted back.
"I fuck things up, okay? But please,H. Just hear me out for once and I'll go after that but please just listen to me, once" ,Louis kept pleading.
Harry simply nodded.
"I was 14 years, you know, when I knew that my preferences were not at all what 'normal' people have, well, that was what i was forced to believe in, that being gay was not normal, that liking someone who was of the same gender as you was what freaks did. I didn't want to be an outcast or a freak, Harry. I just got afraid, I just didn't want my 'friends' to look down upon me, to beat me up like they did to the boys who were openly out. And then there was you, so beautiful and flawless and I couldn't help myself but be attracted to you, Harry. And it was not at all normal, fuck, i hated myself so much, i felt so disgusted by myself. But you stayed, even amidst all those rude and snarky comments, you stayed. I just couldn't hold myself back. And that night, i regret it so much, Harry, not because it happened but because it wasn't supposed to be the way it was. It was supposed to be warm and gentle and not rough. I just couldn't give you what you deserved. With every insult that i threw at you, I killed a part of myself along with it. With every time i hurt you more, I loved you even more, Harry. I loved you even more and it was the only thing that felt right in all the mixed up shit my life was going through. I love you, Harry. I love you with every fibre of my being and I'll keep proving it to you and our little bean everyday of my life" and Louis' breathing became ragged and suddenly the cold air between the two of them was replaced with the warmth of Harry's arm around Louis' neck, tears soaking through Louis' shirt.
"I love you too" .
The situation was far from okay, but with Louis' hand tangled in the nape of Harry's neck, and Harry's arms across Louis' middle, letting the silence speak for them, it was a start. A fresh new one.
********
And on 17th May, 2016 ,Scarlett Rose Tomlinson was their serendipity.