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“Thank goodness Batman isn’t here to see this,” Dick thought as he struggled to free himself from the restraints. It was a careless mistake, but since when did Two-Face’s henchmen come in groups of three? They were always in pairs. He thought he was safe when he dispatched two, but then a third got the jump on him.
And now he was captured, tied to a chair, seated over an absurdly elaborate death trap, and waiting for Two-Face to arrive and decide his fate with a coin flip. Frankly, it was embarrassing. He just had to hope that Two-Face was slow enough that there was time to escape.
Batman was on a Justice League mission involving the (strange, Dick thought) team-up of Metallo and Gorilla Grodd. That meant that he, Robin the Boy Wonder, was left to keep an eye on Gotham. And when he followed some of Two-Face’s goons back to their hideout, Dick saw an opportunity to strike a blow to Two-Face’s criminal enterprise. But then one of the henchmen got the drop on him, and so he sat there, trying to wriggle his way out while keeping an eye on the many screens in the room showing security camera footage of the layout.
It was on those screens that he saw something that made him smile – and his heart jump. A woman was sneaking through the hideout. Though she moved in the shadows, her long, red hair was unmistakable.
This wasn’t a solo Robin mission. He had backup in the form of his best friend, Barbara Gordon AKA Batgirl. And she was in pursuit. He breathed a little easier. There was no way she wouldn’t find her way to him and free him so that the two of them could take down Two-Face together.
“Ah, I recognize that look,” the henchman said. Dick, having once again lost his wits (“thank goodness Batman isn’t here” he thought again), was startled by this and twitched slightly in his chair.
“What?” Dick asked.
“The way you smiled when you saw her on the camera. Reminds me of me when I was your age and I first met Liza,” the henchman began smiling dreamily himself. “I knew the moment I saw her that she was something special. It’s the same for you, isn’t it?”
Dick wasn’t sure how to handle this. Usually he was the one who did the talking. The henchmen mostly shouted “Stop!” and “Ow!” (in that order). They didn’t typically make casual conversation. And this wasn’t the kind of conversation he’d want to have with a hired goon either. After a pause, he finally replied, “I smiled because she’s gonna come kick your butt.”
“Nah,” the henchman waved his hand. “You definitely have a thing for her. Really, you’re not at all subtle about it. So what, are you two dating already or are you just pining for her from afar?”
Was he really that obvious? Dick had been interested in Barbara for a long time. Probably even before she made her debut as Batgirl. The nights where the two of them patrolled Gotham without Batman were some of the most thrilling adventures of his life. They were what we he always looked forward to.
Batgirl had slipped out of view of the cameras. Dick knew her abilities well enough to know that she hadn’t been taken out, but he wished he could still see her. “We’re a team. The Dynamite Duo. Protecting Gotham from the villains that aren’t worth Batman’s time. That means you,” he added pointedly at the end.
The henchman laughed. “You’re dodging the question! You can’t wait too long on those things. There are all sorts of young superheroes around these days. Take too long and another might sweep her off her feet. I hear the Flash has a kid sidekick these days. Bet he can impress a young crimefighter.”
Kid Flash’s charm was something Dick was all too familiar with, but he wasn’t going to get into that with this guy too. “I don’t need relationship advice from a two-bit Two-Face goon.” Batgirl had slipped back into view on the cameras, dodging through giant quarters being launched at her.
“So you haven’t told her how you felt. I get it. It can be scary. But kid, let me tell you, there’s nothing like being with someone you love. Liza and I just celebrated the 10 year anniversary of our first date. We helped the Penguin pull a heist on the Falcones. The way she drove the getaway car was something special, kid. I knew right then that she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
Despite himself, Dick was curious. “You… robbed the Falcones together? That’s your idea of a date?”
The henchman smiled, “Not all that different from breaking into a Two-Face hideaway, when you think about it. Some couples are just thrill seekers. What, would you rather take her on a nice picnic?”
“That’s not – I don’t – she –” Admittedly, dinner and a movie did sound a little bit dull for people who lived their lives. Sometimes, he did think about asking Babs on a date. But then he got stuck on that question: What would make for a good date? If he was going to ask her. Which he shouldn’t. Batman was very clear about that.
“We had a fun time riding with Penguin. And the money was good. But Two-Face just seemed the right gig for us, you know? We’re a pair, he’s got the whole two thing going on. It made sense. And the money is still good. When you lot don’t show up.”
Dick raised an eyebrow. Things were starting to click into place. “But she’s not here tonight?”
The henchman looked away. “Ah, well, with the kid, she thought maybe we should get out of the business and find work that’s more… reputable. So she skipped out tonight. She didn’t want me to do this either, but…” He trailed off. When Dick said nothing, he finally continued. “It’s expensive having a kid, you know? And we don’t have health insurance. So it seemed like an easy gig. And hey, I get a bonus for capturing you. Double if I get Batgirl. I guess your boss is out of town tonight? Too bad, although the big guy doesn’t like paying beyond double, so maybe it would have been a wash.”
Aside from the part about him being captured, Dick found himself affected by the man’s story. “It must be tough trying to navigate that. But why can’t you find work elsewhere? This can’t be worth it.”
The henchman shrugged. “What can I put on my resume? ‘Hired muscle for Gotham criminals’? Not exactly a candidate employers will love.”
Dick was forced to concede the point. “What will your partner say if you keep doing this? What happens when Batgirl and I beat you and you’re thrown in jail?”
The henchman frowned and looked away. “Before I left today, she told me she trusts me to make the best decisions for our family. That’s what a relationship is, you know? You gotta communicate with each other and trust each other. And then weather the bad times and the good together. I won’t say we always agree every time, but we trust each other and we talk it through. You trust Batgirl?”
“More than anyone,” Dick responded, then mentally kicked himself. Why was he back to talking about his own relationships with this guy?
“Kid, listen to me. You make it out of this, you gotta tell her how you feel. There’s too much uncertainty in life. Any day one of you might get the unlucky end of a gun from Two-Face or an umbrella from Penguin or a gun from Joker – but not one of those funny guns with the flags that say ‘bang’, one of those actual guns. You gotta seize the opportunity when you can.”
Dick had given up trying to break the restraints. They were too tight, too well-knotted. “You know, if you just let me go, I’d actually consider it.” The henchman paused, staring at him for a moment, his face scrunched up. “Is this actually going to work?” Dick thought. The henchman stepped toward him –
--And a crash echoed throughout the room as Batgirl burst through the door. Dick’s heart leapt again, whether at the thought of rescue or of seeing her in person, he wasn’t sure. Regardless, he was glad to see her. The henchman wheeled around just in time for a batarang to smash into his face, causing him to stumble back into the panel of security monitors.
Barbara ran over to Dick and began cutting him free from the restraints. Dick thought he saw hints of tears in her eyes and she looked over him. “Are you okay?”
As he stood up, Dick massaged his wrists and stretched himself gently. He wasn’t captured for long, but he still felt stiff. Fortunately, no major injuries. “I’m fine, Batgirl, really.”
Barbara turned around to face the henchman, “And you,” she snarled in a voice that would have made Batman proud. “You’re going to go away for a very long time. I’ll make sure of that.”
The henchman, still dazed from the impact, was struggling to stand up. Dick quickly jumped in between the two of them and spread his arms to shield the henchman from Babs. “It’s okay, Batgirl. I don’t think he’s a bad guy. He just… didn’t have many options.” Dick knew her expressions well enough to know that she was raising an eyebrow behind her mask. He turned to face the henchman. “Listen, you want a good job? Wayne Foundation has been hiring a lot of people to help with some projects throughout the city. Salaried, insurance, and with an open eye toward people with… let’s just say gaps in their resume. You and your partner do that, and if we don’t see you out here again, maybe we’ll just forget this ever happened and forget to tell Batman about you.”
Both Barbara and the henchman stared at Dick without saying a word. He looked back and forth between them, hoping for one of them to break the silence. After what seemed like an interminable wait, Barbara dropped her fighting stance. “You heard him. Clean your act up, and we’ll let you go. This time.”
Now it was the henchman’s turn to look back and forth between the two, unsure whether or not to believe them. “Thanks, kids, you won’t regret this. I promise, it’s the straight and narrow from here on out! I’ll be a model citizen! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just show myself out. Oh, and Batgirl, I think Robin wants to tell you something.” And with that, he bolted out the door.
“What was that last part about?” Barbara asked.
For yet another time that evening, Dick found himself at a loss for words. Was this really a time to tell her how he felt? He found himself thinking about what the henchman had said about uncertainty in life, and how close either he or Babs had come to not making it through the night. He took a deep breath.
“Babswouldyouwanttogoonadatesometime?”
Well that didn’t come out like he hoped. He could go toe-to-toe with Scarecrow, and yet somehow this was one of the most terrifying things he’d done.
Batgirl stared at him. “Try again, Boy Wonder.” A wry smirk crept up on her lips.
“Would you, er, want to go on a,” deep breath again, “on a date sometime?”
“Does me rescuing you from certain death not count?” She teased.
“I was thinking something normal. Something more like a… picnic?”
Barbara’s smirk turned into a full-on smile. “I’d love to.”