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The afternoon sun casted its golden light as you all sat on the ground of the alleyway you usually hung out in, huddled together, voices soft as you chatted idly.
The last few weeks had been ridiculously tough to get by. Much more than usual.
With half your stash being blown on SOMEONE (im looking at you vinnie.) having zero idea how to gamble properly, what little cash you and the gang had left from her little poker spree was..pathetic. at best.
With whatever was left already quickly depleting it didn't take very long at all for you all to quickly agree something needed to be done. And fast.
But you weren't worried about that, at least for now.
You were sitting on the grimey cobblestone that lined the alleyway jokingly chatting with stone and skipp about the ethics of cannibalism. It was a slow day today. Might as well enjoy a few moments of hanging out with your friends before thinking about the impending doom of...yknow....starving to death.
A long moment stretched by as you enjoyed your little banter when, suddenly, vinnie cut you off mid sentence, clearing her throat obnoxiously loud for your attention. Simultaneously, you all shut up exactly on cue, staring at her quizzically. Smiling faintly, proud she managed to get your collective attention onto her that fast, she began to speak.
"You already know how much I screwed up days ago so I'm just..not gonna get into that. I...sorta maybe messed up just a little bit and now we're broke. Much more than usual I mean"
She cleared her throat again, just slightly nervously this time
" But I'm not sayin' this just ta' mope. Alright suckers, I've actually gotta plan ta' save our asses."
She stared at us pointedly, likely mentally preparing for someone to cut in and complain. When no one did, she continued.
"Step one. We ride all the way out to entertainment square. Step two. Good ol stoner over here"
She ribbed him playfully as she talked
" will run out and pretend to get run over by some poor schmuck. Make a scene. Then when there's a good enough people pressuring 'im we demand he pays us tha' money for a doctor and run that idiot dry. Or well- dry enough to get next week's food at least.
Y/n can hang back to steal from whatever lootbags happen to watch us."
She punched her hand, a sly smile plastered on her face
"Step three? Profit. >:3 "
A part of you almost couldn't believe what you were hearing. This would be the first time you'd be entrusted to do something on yourself without skipp or vinnie around to hold your hand and lead the way
(unfortunately for yourself, that line was NOT metaphorical in the slightest)
So this? This was BIG. Of course, without the added pressure that you all could starve soon if this goes off the rails I mean.
A ghost of a smile slowly spread on your face as you mentally tuned back into Vinnie's speech.
"If we don't manage to screw this up, we won't have to eat shoes again tonight. So we gotta stay focused. Alright everyone?"
Skipp shrugged, grinning playfully.
"Cmon they weren't that bad. Tasted like every other shoe I've had"
Vinnie rolled her eyes at that remark teasingly, not bothering to look at him.
"Is everyone except skipp on board with the plan?"
"Aye!" You exclaimed, almost immediately as the words left her mouth.
"This again?"
"..'Course. What other choice do we have?" stone mumbled, stifling a sigh. He uh...clearly wasn't too thrilled about dying today, pretending or not.
"Then lets go kick some lootbag butt- I mean ass"
Everyone else got to their feet as soon as she had finished, chatting again in low voices.
Oh. You guys are doing this now? Welp- Alrighty then!
Glancing up you noticed Vinnie offered you her hand as you moved to stand up. Taking it, she yanked you up and started pulling you along behind her by the wrist as she half ran, half speed walked ahead from the rest.
"Cmon cmon! Times a'wasting! Quick, before we still have daylight to burn."
She jokingly called to the others over her shoulder as you stumbled along, struggling to match her pace.
—
Stone lay sprawled on the ground, a mysterious dark liquid surrounding his head like a halo.
Somehow, he looked much more like a zombie than usual like this.
You chuckled softly to yourself as the thought popped into your head. You were hidden behind a store's trashcan as you watched the plan unfold, in full view of the chaos ahead of you, ready to pop on your cue.
"I'm tellin' ya! The bloke jus...just RAN straight into my carriage!"
The victim of today's con exclaimed in exasperation, gesturing wildly to Stone's corpse.
The lootbags that watched the scene unfold glared at him in disapproval, obviously taking to the scraps side for once in their lives.
"Regardless, You're still going to have to report it" the lady beside him interjected, grimacing.
"What'll the police care anyhow?" he snapped, wiping the sweat of his massive brow with his free hand, taking his hat off with the other
"Its just another street kid"
The lootbags gasped in unison at the sheer audacity..
"How rude!"
"S-street kids are people too!"
"Just because they're poor dont mean they dont deserve justice like the rest of us!"
"YOU FRIGGIN CHILD MURDERER-!!"
You watched in amusement as they argued heatedly amongst themselves, raising an eyebrow especially when the man tried to shake stone back to life before unceremoniously letting him faceplant the ground again the millisecond he let go of the boy's shoulders.
....Yeesh.
Perfectly on cue your friends swept in, immediately crouching at stones side as they very valiantly demanded reimbursement for his oh-so heinous "crime".
..To be honest, you quickly tuned them out once vinnie started using big words like 'feind.' yuck.
Whatever. It wasn't your job to listen right now. Now it was your turn to sweep in, pretending to be just another onlooker as you stuck your grimey little paws into the wallets of all the lovely ladies and gents that surrounded you.
It was more fun yanking things when they were distracted. You were INFINETLY less likely to get your head bashed in with some dumb broads purse when they're busy, that's for sure.
A few moments passed before you finally tuned back in when Vinnie stormed off, threatening to call the police if he didn't pay. She was stopped in place however by him grabbing her wrist, forcing her to stop in place.
"OKAY! Okay. I'll cooperate. Three dollars for the doctor. ...A-and two to keep quiet"
Her eyes immediately lit up, sparkling like a kid in candy land.
"Shake on it" she said finally.
"Ya hear that skipp? He's gonna be A-okay!" she called over her shoulder
"Yippee! You're gonna liveeee!!!"
You rolled your eyes, grinning to yourself as skipp started to hug the shit out of Stone's corpse.
Peeling away from the onlookers you silently counted whatever money you managed to nab, your back turned to the scene behind you.
Two dollars and seventy five cents. Heh. Not bad!! You gus\ys might actually get to eat tonight!
Now to go before ya get caught stealing and they actually finish this charade–
Your head snapped to look back behind you when you heard stone scream.
(well more like grunt. He scream-grunt? ...whatever it doesn't really matter-)
You shoved past the onlookers, pushing your way to the front to get in full view of what was happening again.
Another smaller man stood beside the perpetrator from before looming over Stone's body as he lay curled up on the ground in pain, clutching his stomach.
Did this dude KICK him??????
"Were these kids bothering you?' he asked the man cooly
"Wuh- i- uhm- maybee..?" the fat man spluttered, taken aback
"These scoundrels tried to pull the exact same stunt on me last week. They pretended to get hit by my carriage then attempted to get my money." the guy explained
You felt a bead of sweat grow as the fellow onlookers that surrounded you began to also glare daggers into your back.
Ruh-roh.
Vinnie stepped up, cutting in.
"Well no sir. Actually we were...uh-...." she paused, realizing making a excuse NOW was useless
"We're gonna just..leave."
She sent you a pointed look before gunning it down the road, stone and skipp in tow.
You blinked, not sure what to do next.
Oh right. Shouldn't you be running too?
"What are you waiting for ya dingbats? GIT THEM!!" The man exclaimed
Feeling hands attempt to grasp for you, you darted past the two men ahead of you, turning sharply on your heel at the street bend as you struggled to catch up with them. HOW DO YOU MISS A SIGNAL THAT BADLY–
You're lucky if you even make it out of this alive at this point- let alone with your friends.
Finally you caught up again as stone once again was sprawled yet again on the street, rubbing his head like he had tripped and managed to give himself yet another head injury.
Skipp waved hi for a moment at you but shrunk into himself when vinnie opened her mouth.
"Stone you goober! You always mess this up" She scowled, whacking him over the head.
Glaring at her, he pushed himself to to his knees
"You're blaming this on me? As I recall this was your idea. I don't know why you thought it'd work a second time"
"UGGHH- y'know- without me you'd be dead by now"
You looked over your shoulder, watching the angry mob began to catch up
"Uhm- guys- we really ought to start running right now-" you spluttered
Vinnie put her hand in your face to shut you up, not glancing to look at you
"Not now y/n" they said simultaneously
"Look. ya cant steal, ya cant even fight...you're a bad hobo stoner. Plain and simple" she declared, crossing her arms as she spoke.
"At least my parents didn't abandon me tha moment I came out the womb" Stone snapped, his expression annoyed.
You glanced behind you in desperation, sure that the mob had caught up by now and you'd all be dead meat but weirdly enough....they stopped? They were only paces behind you now.
"I cannot believe he went there." a lady mumbled
"Yea..almost like he wanted a fight.."
"YEA! A FIGHT!!" some other guy exclaimed
It took approximately two seconds for their brains to connect the dots before the mob behind you started chanting " FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!"
Horrendously lost about not having the slightest clue what was happening you turned to skipp. ...was this part of the plan somehow?
"This..this is not good" he squeaked hiding his face in his scarf as vinnie and stone started beating the hell out of each other.
Nope. It wasn't. ..Figures. Now you were going to spend the rest of your life rotting in prison and it'd all be because of these idiots. How absolutely dandy was that? :,D
While they fought, Skipp grabbed you by the sleeve and led you out of the crowd and behind a table that sat at a nearby storefront. Safely away from getting-your-head-clobbered-in-by-those-utter-morons distance.
Finally regaining the ability to speak you glared daggers into the back of Skipp's head
"You guys just left me!"
"You- I- we- actually no we kinda did...It wasn't on purpose though! Everything happened so fast!'
He exclaimed, throwing his arms out in exasperation
Sighing, your expression softened as you relented. True. That was very true. Can't exactly blame 'em for that.
"Soo now what? We just watch 'em kill each other?"
"I guess? The last time i tried to break up one of their fights stone kicked me"
He mumbled, turning his head away sheepishly.
He sat on the ground heavily, pulling his legs to his chest.
Slowly, you sat down beside him.
..might as well get comfortable?
Several moments passed as you watched the ensuing chaos together before a familiar voice pipped up, knocking you both out of your stupor.
"Hey skipp!"
Glancing up you saw the faces of two bos looking down at you as they leaned across the table.
Wait..wasnt that..
Rigel and Cen! The newsies down the block! You knew these kids- used to chat with em all the time before you befriended these dorks.
"Hi guys!" You pipped up, pushing yourself to your feet
"Heya buddy!" they said back simultaneously
without skipping a beat, Cen offered you a fist bump to which you returned without a moments thought.
"Sooo" Rigel propped his head up with his hand.
" ya guys takin' bets?"
"Our bets on Vinnie! She can snap stones neck like a chicken bone" Cen added helpfully
"B-bets?" skipp repeated, completely bewildered
"BETS???"
You were shoved aside as half of the entire crowd that amassed to watch the hobo fight pushed past one another, eagerly offering their money to the newsies at the idea of betting at this. It was like watching a group's single brain cell all activate at once.
Pushing yourself off to your feet you dusted your pants off, praying internally that whatever mysterious liquid you just landed in wasn't sewage as you glanced uncertainty at the surroundings around you.
Okay...now there were two groups of idiots.
You glanced back at the group of betters, your expression nervous.
Well...there was seriously no point in stealing from people if they were already forking their fortunes over anyway sooo....
...might as well just play into it?
Narrowly dodging getting nicked in the face by someone's elbow you managed to push your way back to the front of the betting table, where skipp, rigel and cen seemed to be handling it.
Rigel smiled teasingly when he noticed your arrival.
"Here to bet on your friends too-? HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING- STOP- YA HAVE TA' PAY FER THAT-"
You smiled at him apologetically as you slipped your hand into the newsie's open satchel, pulling out a rolled up newspaper.
"Sorry sorry! This'll be just for a minute I swear!"
You shove your hand into your pocket, pulling out a small coin and tossing it to him. The newsie caught it with both hands, his face an expression of utter bewilderment.
Before he had the sense to stop you from pulling off something stupid, you scampered off to the nearest table to the fight and clambered to stand on top of it, holding the rolled up newspaper underneath your chin.
You could feel people's gaze travel from the fight to you, their gazes quizzical. Good. That's exactly what you needed.
You barely stifled an awkward grin. God you were going to regret this later weren't you–
You cleared your throat. No time to back out now.
Holding the newspaper to your mouth like a microphone you spoke, making sure to make your voice loud enough you could be heard from over the noises of the crowd.
"As these two delinquent street rats fight after a small argument about getting caught conning a poor innocent lootbag- I mean rich man- out of his money blows far out of control we all start to wonder the same thing. Who will win? Who will lose? Which side will make their betters the most proud and who'll walk home dejected with empty wallets. Find out now as we watch it all ensue!"
Okay at this point, even stone and vinnie had completely stopped to side eye you weirdly. Feeling perspiration down your neck you stared at them pointedly. They HAD to keep fighting if we wanted to make it out of here with any money–
Luckily they got the hint as stone decided to escalate the fight and pull a crowbar out of NOWHERE-
Welp.
At least they were cooperating?
Somehow though it worked. If the gigantic crowd flooding entertainment square didn't get the lootbags attention, your narrating sure did as more and more people began to shuffle up to watch the fight- and most importantly- bet on it.
–
The crowd had nearly tripled toward the end of the fight now as you continued to narrate its happenings
"Vinnie steps up to the emo one, a mans stolen shovel in her hands as they face off for the final times. Who'll go home a winner is just a test of fate now~"
Man, embarrassing yourself in public for a few bucks was weirdly fun! Ya should definitely do this again sometime. Too bad this was already coming to a end so soon.
"The ready themselves and they charge at each other and now-!!"
You paused, your voice faltering. You were entirely too amped up for this.
"..and they slip on a turnip and fall flat on their faces. I- okay-"
Vinnie pushed herself back into a sitting position, rubbing the back of her head
"Guess that means thats a draw huh?" she asked turning to you
Genuinely what the hell was even happening anymore.
You blink, trying to find your composure. "Yep. yeppp definitely...I guess?" you said, playing along
"Well darn." she said in mock disappointment.
"But- but our money-" Rigel mumbled, disappointed
"WAIT- your telling me- did NONE of ya bet on a draw??" she exclaimed, gasping dramatically
"Ahem" skipp piped up, puffing out his chest proudly
"I did! Guess that makes me the winner, huh?"
"Guess so" stone said, pushing himself to his feet as he helped Vinnie up.
"Welp, we'd just love to stick around but we'll just take our money and go. Them's the rules~!"
You cut in, rushing back over to your friends sides, finally catching on.
Welp, thats on YOU dear reader for not having faith in them. Not I, the actual writer. Shameth aponth thou.
"Sayanora!!" you called tauntingly behind you as you all ran for your lives
—-
You all sat on the back of a farmers wagon, sneaking on for a quick ride home. Shuffling around to sit in the hey comfortably you grinned at your friends
"ahahahHAHA! Cant believe those knuckle heads actually FELL for that!!' vinnie exclaimed, wrapping her arms around you and skipps shoulders, forcing you to lean down abit with her.
"Dude, stone, howd ya plan everything out like that?!?!"
"Well..from me and y/ns walks I noticed that the coachmen went home at precisely the same time every day. And knowing the townsfolk's obsession with entertainment, I devised a scheme that would get their attention and keep it. Having us fight right in the middle of the square would only maximise profits.....andddd shes not even listening to me isnt she-"
She was in fact, not.
She let go of skipp if only to pull you into a headlock for a noogie
"And you, ya little bugger! Actin' like a proper busser with that kinda sports announcer shtick- where'd ya get the idea fer THAT?"
"I just- wanted to get as much peoples attention as possible and would ya just LET ME GO-" you shriek giggled, pulling away from her. She stuck her tongue at you in mock annoyance when you did, finally turning to skipp.
"Soooo...how much did we make?"
"Lemme see actually!" he rummaged in his bag quickly before proudly declaring "five dollars and seventy six cents!!"
"..."
"WE EATIN' TONIGHT BOIS-"
And so, you all hollered in victory the whole way home.
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