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“Mom, I’m going to do it,” Shane says. It’s the first thing he says after Yuna answers his call. So much for those manners she taught him.
“What happened to, ‘hello mom, how are you?”
Shane ignores her. “I’m going to propose.”
“What!” Yuna jolts out of bed, dragging the duvet with her.
“Shit,” David says. Yuna glances over to see her husband holding an empty glass in one hand and a soaking book in the other.
“Sorry,” she whispers, holding the phone away from her face. She holds a hand out and David wordlessly hands her the book. “When are you asking?” She asks into the phone, walking into their ensuite bathroom.
“Tonight, I’m driving over now.”
“Now!” She pauses, glancing outside as sleet pelts their window. “In this weather?”
“I’ll be fine, mom.” Yuna can feel the eye roll. Teenagers age but they never truly grow up. She sets the book on the counter, laying it flat to dry. “Do you think,” he pauses for a long moment. His voice is shaky and she can hear traces of her little boy. The one that could barely walk but would run into their room begging to stay the night because monsters hide in the dark. “Do you think he’ll say yes?”
“Of course,” Yuna says immediately. There is absolutely no doubt in her mind Ilya will say yes, it kills her Shane can’t see that.
“I—I can’t lose him,” Shane chokes out. Even if she can't see them, Yuna can hear the tears and it breaks her heart.
“Their plane landed safely, Ilya’s okay,” she closes her eyes, letting her own words calm herself. They’re the same words living on repeat in her head until she can lay her eyes on him.
Shane sniffs. “Thanks. I’ll uh,” he clears his throat, “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Ok, drive safely. I love you.”
“Love you too.” The line goes dead and she sets her phone down.
“Everything okay?” David asks, adjusting his new, and more importantly, dry, shirt.
Yuna smiles so wide her cheeks hurt, she grabs her husband's hand, squeezing lightly. “Our boy is going to propose,” she squeals like a teenager.
“Tonight?”
Yuna nods, “isn’t this exciting?” Nervous energy fills her to the brim and she bounces on her toes as she struggles to contain it. “I’m so happy for them.”
“Really?” David smirks, leaning down and pecking her on the lips. “I had no idea.”
“I’m serious,” she cradles his face, brushing her thumb over his crows feet. It’s been over thirty years and he’s more handsome every day. “I’ve never met a pair more suited for each other.”
“Except maybe us,” David covers her hand with his own.
Yuna chooses silence over debating—and winning—that argument. “Hold on,” she lights up. “I need to write that down, it’s perfect for the wedding.”
David laughs as she runs back to her nightstand, pulling out her yellow pad of paper. Yuna knows it’s old school, but she prefers writing on paper over her phone. There’s something about the feel of a pen in her hand that always helps organize her thoughts, and she has a lot of thoughts. “That’s a bit premature, don’t you think?”
“Oh hush,” she flips to a new page. “We all know he’ll say yes.”
——
Yuna made a mistake writing her speech. Not because Ilya declined, she's yet to hear back, but because she stayed up practically all night to finish it. She groans into her morning coffee. Despite feeling like a giddy teenager, she’s definitely not one and can’t pull all nighters anymore.
“Good morning, sweetie,” David kisses her cheek before grabbing his usual breakfast, a banana for the car.
Yuna groans, of course David can say good morning with a smile, he slept peacefully for eight full hours. “It is not a good morning,” she grumbles. Her phone buzzes and she immediately grabs it. It’s a work email, she frowns and drops it back on the counter.
“They’ll call when they’re ready,” David says, pouring some coffee in a to-go mug.
“I know,” Yuna sighs. She checks the time, 7:43. Regardless of how it went, Ilya should be waking up soon for practice and Shane’s always up by now. Maybe she can call, if they don’t answer, they don’t answer, but if they do… She opens her contacts. Before she can dial, David grabs her phone. “Hey!” She pouts.
“Let them call us,” he kisses her on the lips, Yuna hums and he pulls away. David holds her phone out and Yuna reaches for it but David pulls it back.
“Fine,” Yuna huffs. “I promise I won’t call them.” David nods and lets her take the phone.
“Good!” He grabs his keys off the counter. “They’ll tell us when they’re ready,” he throws his coat on. Yuna fidgets while he gets his boots on. He’s so goddamn slow it’s killing her. As soon as he’s finally out the door, Yuna's dialing Shane’s number.
He doesn’t answer and Yuna frowns. Maybe he slept in for once in his life? Something tells Yuna that’s not right. She can’t explain it, but dread fills her stomach and she knows something is wrong with her boy.
She dials Ilya's number. After four rings he answers and Yuna's shoulders relax. The lack of sleep is really getting to her. “Hello?” Ilya asks, voice still groggy with sleep.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. How did it go last night?”
“What?”
Oh that’s cute, Ilya’s half slumber state has him confused. “I’ll let you two go back to sleep, sorry again for waking you. Call and tell me everything later, okay?”
“Yuna, you do not make sense.”
Yuna stills and the dread returns. Did Shane chicken out? “You and Shane…” she trails off, not wanting to give anything away in case Shane did chicken out.
“Shane is not here.” There’s rustling in the background and Yuna assumes Ilya is sitting up.
“What?” Yuna furrows her brows. “He drove in last night.”
DING DONG!
Yuna glances towards the front door. Who could be here at this hour? She sets down her mug and walks towards the window. “Shane is in Montreal?” Ilya says it more as a question than a statement, as if he’s no longer sure. Yuna doesn’t know what to think and she doesn’t have time to piece it together because she pulls the curtain to the side and sees the police on her doorstep. What is going on?
“Hold on a sec, Ilya,” she pulls the phone away from her ear. She swings the door open and comes face to face with two beat cops, a man and a woman, both holding their hats to their chest. “Can I help you, officers?”
“Officer?” She hears Ilya through the phone. Wow, David was right, she needs to get her hearing checked, her phone is really loud.
“Is this the Hollander household?”
“It is…” Yuna nods, eyes jumping between them. The man is straight faced but the woman—Yuna takes a sharp breath, the woman’s face is stricken with sorrow.
“Yuna, what’s going on?!” Ilya screams faintly through the phone.
She brings the phone to her ear, “I’m going to call you back.”
“What is it? Is it Shane?”
“I-I don’t know. I’ll talk to you later,” she quickly hangs up before Ilya can protest.
“Can we come in?” The man asks. Yuna steps to the side, gesturing for them to come in. They step inside and Yuna shuts the door behind them.
“Is there somewhere we can sit down?” The woman asks.
“What's going on?”
“Please ma’am,” the woman says again. “Let’s have a seat and we’ll tell you.”
Yuna doesn’t want to sit down, she wants answers, but she can tell they won’t talk here. She leads them to the living room and the officers sit in arm chairs while Yuna sits across from them on the couch.
Yuna notices the woman staring at a photo on the wall. It’s one of Yuna's favorites. In it, a three year old Shane smiles gap tooth at the camera while sitting on David’s shoulders. David smiles just a wide, staring up at Shane while clutching his feet to protect him from falling.
“Around five this morning,” the man says, drawing Yuna's attention back to him. “We got a call about a car found in a ditch.”
“I don’t understand,” Yuna furrows her brows. “What does this have to do with me?”
He ignores her question and plows on, “the car slid off the road during last night's storm.” Yuna's blood runs cold. “The car is registered to Shane Hollander.” Yuna covers her mouth. “He passed away before the paramedics arrived.”
Yuna shakes her head. “No,” she says, her face contorting as tears well in her eyes. “No, no, i-it’s a mistake,” even to herself it sounds stupid, but she clings to the sliver of hope.
“I’m sorry, ma'am,” the woman says, face scrunching in sympathy.
“We’ll need you to come down to the hospital to confirm it, but I’m sorry, your son has passed.”
“No, no no no,” Yuna pleads, shaking her head. A sob shakes her body, breaking the damn and the tears finally spill over. “No, it’s not true.”
“Is there someone we can call?” The woman asks.
Yuna opens her mouth to say David, her husband, but only a sob comes out. The woman jumps out of her seat, running over and giving Yuna a hug. Yuna clings to her uniform, needing anything to anchor herself.
“Yuna!” Ilya calls out, Yuna's head whips up. That’s impossible, Ilya lives more than twenty minutes away and there’s no way it’s been that long. The door slams shut and Ilya bursts into the room, shirtless in only his pajama bottoms and crucifix.
“Rozanov?” The man asks, surprised. Ilya doesn’t seem to register him, never taking his eyes off Yuna.
“Yuna?” He pleads so quietly Yuna almost doesn’t hear it. Yuna doesn’t know what to say, she can’t bear to tell him, but she doesn’t need to, Ilya seems to understand anyway. His face contorts and he shakes his head. Yuna pulls away from the officer and stands up. She takes a step forward but Ilya steps back. “No,” Ilya hits the wall, collapsing to the ground.
“Shane, he—“ it’s all she manages before a sob escapes in place of words. The woman officer places a hand on her shoulder. Yuna glances at her, she’s asking for permission. Yuna nods and the officer tells Ilya the same thing they told her. As he listens, Ilya hunches forward, his body shaking as he sobs into his hands.
Yuna crouches beside him. “Ilya?” Yuna chokes out. He doesn't respond to her, doesn’t even acknowledge her presence. She places a hand on his shoulder and Ilya collapses into her. He clutches at her shirt and sobs into her shoulder.
“Shhhh,” she rocks him, running a hand over his back. It’s awkward and not as easy as she remembers. Granted, the last time she did this Shane was much smaller than Ilya at only eight years old. Ilya doesn’t seem to mind or even notice. After a while, his body starts to calm and his sobs quiet. Yuna pulls away, using her sleeve to wipe the tears and snot covering his face. It’s gross, but a mom’s job is to be a Kleenex.
“I know it’s not a good time,” the man says. “There’s never a good time for this really, but we need you to come down to the hospital and confirm Shane’s identity.”
Ilya sniffs and stares blankly ahead while Yuna turns back to the officers. “I need to call my husband.”
“Of course,” the woman says.
Yuna pulls out her phone, she stares at David’s contact. How the hell is she going to break the news to him? “I— I can’t,” she shakes her head as new tears start to fall.
The woman crouches next to her, covering Yuna's hand with her own. “Allow me,” she smiles. Yuna nods. She’ll regret it later, letting someone else tell David that the child they created is gone, but she can’t bring herself to do it. The woman takes her phone and dials the number.
Yuna squeezes her eyes shut and tries not to listen. She can’t hear this for a third time. She hugs Ilya, comforting herself more than him. He doesn’t move, doesn’t hug her back but she clings to him anyways.
Without meaning to, she starts humming something. It helps drown out the noise, both the cops voice and her own brain. She can almost forget everything and numb her mind until she realizes she’s humming a lullaby. It’s the same one her mom sang for her, the same one she sang for Shane.
“He’s going to meet us there,” the officer holds her phone out. Yuna's thankful for the interruption. She grabs her phone with a shaking hand. “You two can ride with us, okay?” Yuna nods.
What happens next is a bit of a blur. Yuna vaguely remembers giving Ilya one of David’s sweatshirts. Then they pile into the back of the squad car and she stares out the windows the whole ride. It’s not sleeting anymore, but the windows are covered in frozen raindrops and Yuna counts them to keep her mind from wandering. Once they arrive at the hospital, the officers lead them straight to the morgue.
The smell of formaldehyde permeates the dimly lit hallway and Yuna knows they’re getting close. When she spots David, talking to a woman in a coroner's uniform, her feet stop moving. They’re here. David looks up, immediately running to them and wrapping them in his strong arms. Yuna feels herself deflate while Ilya remains stiff as a board.
She pulls away and sees Ilya staring at something over David’s shoulder. Following his line of sight, she sees the coroner waiting for them. “Whenever you guys are ready,” she smiles softly at them. Yuna wonders how often she does this. What a horrible job.
David looks at them and Yuna nods. “We’re ready,” he says. The coroner gestures for them to follow her. David places a hand on Yuna's back as they’re led into a room. A body lays on a table, covered by a sheet.
Shane. She corrects herself. Shane is laying on the table.
Yuna takes a step back, breaking away from David. “Th-that’s our boy—” her voice cracks and her chest heaves. “I-I can’t do this,” she places a hand on her chest, unable to get enough air in her lungs.
“Shhh,” David wraps her in his arms, holding her to his chest and grounding her. “It’s okay,” he murmurs. “Breathe in,” he pauses, “and breathe out,” he finishes, immediately repeating the pattern for her. She focuses on his voice, letting it fill her mind so there's no room for the bad stuff. She gasps for air and eventually after enough tries, her breathing begins to even out. “Good, just like that. You don’t have to do this. I’m here, I got it.”
Yuna sniffs and David steps back. He turns away slowly, keeping an eye on her until the last second. He thinks she’s going to break down again, Yuna realizes. She wraps her arms around herself and nods at him. David finally turns back to the waiting coroner.
She pulls the sheet down and Yuna squeezes her eyes shut.
“Shane?” Ilya's voice cracks and Yuna's motherly instincts kick in, opening her eyes. Ilya’s cradling Shane’s face, brushing his thumb over his cheeks, his freckles, Yuna realizes with horror.
“Are you confirming this is Shane Hollander?” The coroner asks. Instead of a response, a sob chokes out of Ilya.
“It is,” David chokes out. He wipes his tears and steps away. “Fuck!” He leans against the wall, resting his hands on his head and breathing deeply. Yuna itches to go to him, but her feet disobey her and she stays rooted to the ground.
The coroner reaches below the table and comes up with a pile of clothes, a wallet and small box resting on top. “These are his personal items. They were found with him,” somehow, she knew to give them to Ilya. Ilya stares at her hands, his face scrunching as sobs wrack his body. Slowly, with shaking hands, he grabs the box on top.
He doesn’t have to open it, it’s obvious what it is, but he does anyway. He covers his mouth and nods, “yes,” he chokes out. He looks at Shane’s body again, a smile that’s more of a grimace tugs on his lips. He leans down and presses a kiss to Shane’s forehead. “Yes—“ his voice cracks and he squeezes his eyes shut as the tears fall freely down his cheeks.
David wraps Ilya in his arms and Ilya turns and shrinks into him. He looks so small, like a child clinging on for dear life. “It hurts,” Ilya gasps, clutching at his chest. “It hurts bad.”
“I know,” David sniffs. “I feel it too.”
“Make it stop,” Ilya gasps between sobs.
“l’m sorry,” David rubs Ilya’s back, squeezing his eyes shut. The coroner pulls the sheet over Shane’s body and Yuna's feet start to listen again. She runs to David and Ilya and the three of them hold each other up.
——
They sit in the car in silence, not even the roar of the engine fills the air. “Ilya,” Yuna sniffs. She’s not crying anymore, none of them are, all too exhausted to shed another tear. “You should stay with us tonight.”
It takes a moment for Ilya to respond. “No, I want to be alone.”
Yuna opens her mouth but David places a hand on her thigh. She glances at him and he shakes his head. She’s being overbearing again. “If that's what you need,” David glances at Ilya in the review mirror. “We’ll give you some time to process, but we’re coming over for dinner.” Ilya opens his mouth but David interrupts him. “It’s not negotiable, okay?”
Ilya nods and stares out the window. Yuna turns back to the front and covers David’s hand with her own. She gives his hand a soft squeeze, in return, he gives her a soft smile. David finally starts the car up and carefully drives back to their house. If she closes her eyes, Yuna can almost imagine it’s Shane in the back seat as they drive home from a juniors game.
The fantasy is broken when David parks in front of Ilya's car. They say their goodbyes on the sidewalk. Yuna hugs Ilya tightly. “Drive safely,” she murmurs before pulling away. She studies Ilya’s red, puffy, tear streaked face. Reaching up, she brushes his curls out of his eyes, they’re filled with such sorrow it breaks her heart further. “I love you.”
Ilya's face scrunches up and he pulls her back into a tight hug. “I love you,” he murmurs. He holds her for a long moment and Yuna holds on tight. “Goodbye,” he says so quietly like she’s not supposed to hear it. He pulls away and Yuna's eyes start to sting again. How does she have any water left in her body?
Ilya turns to David, hugging him just as long. Yuna hears Ilya murmur something but can’t make any of the words out. When he pulls away, Ilya sniffs and plays with his crucifix. Yuna looks closer and realizes it’s actually the ring he’s fiddling with, attached to the same chain. He must’ve put it there in the car.
“We’ll see you later, okay?” David places a hand on his shoulder. Ilya nods and smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Yuna forces herself to stay put and not grab Ilya by the arm and march him right up to their house and refuse to let him leave. “Thank you for loving our son—“ his voice cracks.
“Was easy,” Ilya sniffs, wiping at his eyes. “I am lucky one.”
“Shane was lucky to have you too,” Yuna tells him.
Ilya nods and his lip quivers. “Thank you.”
Ilya climbs into his car, and David wraps his arm around Yuna. She leans into him as they watch him drive off. They wait until Ilya rounds the corner before heading inside.
She stands in the foyer for a long minute. The last time she stood here, she had a son. It feels like a lifetime ago. She starts to climb up the stairs. She should be productive, she hasn’t accomplished anything today. She enters her home office and sits at her desk. Logging onto her computer, she opens her files.
David places a hand on her arm, she jumps, clutching a hand over her racing heart. “You scared me.”
“I called you several times,” he grabs her hands, gently holding them. “Don’t you think you should take a break today?”
Yuna shakes her head, pulling away from David and turning back to her computer screen. “I have too much to do,” she says, scrolling through her files. “I have to find Shane’s will and contact the attorneys and notify the team and his agents and—“ a sob cuts her off.
David pulls her to his chest. “You’re exhausted,” he murmurs. “You need time to process and rest,” he pulls her to her feet and Yuna realizes he must be right, she is exhausted because she doesn’t fight him. She lets him lead her to their bedroom, he helps her change into comfier clothes, a pair of joggers and her favorite McGill hoodie. Then, he helps her climb into bed and she passes out the minute her head hits the pillow.
——
When Yuna wakes up, there’s two seconds of bliss. She can’t remember anything, not her name or where she is. It’s wonderful. Then those two seconds pass and it all comes crashing back. Shane, her Shane is gone. She rolls out of bed, unable to sit with her thoughts.
Yuna finds David in their living room, surrounded by old photo albums. “Hey,” he says. Yuna plops down next to him, curling into his side. David kisses her temple. “How’d you sleep?”
Yuna shrugs and pulls the photo album closer. “We should bring this over for Ilya,” she fiddles with the corner of the page
“That’s a good idea,” he rubs a hand on her arm. They flip through a few pages silently, watching Shane grow up again. Tears stream down Yuna’s face. Her sweet, little boy is gone. He’ll never walk down the aisle or have kids or grandkids of his own. He’ll never love Ilya in the open.
Yuna hides her face in David’s shoulder. He hugs her tighter and feels his own steady sobs shaking his body. “It’s not fair.”
“No, it’s not,” David kisses her temple. After a long moment, he says, “I helped him pick the ring.”
“What?” Yuna pulls away and looks at David. His lip quivers and his eyes are red and puffy. “You never told me.”
“After their fight, the one on Boxing Day, Shane asked for my help,” he sniffs, staring intently at one of the photos. Yuna looks down, it’s the first time Shane skated. David stands behind him, holding him upright as Shane takes the only first steps that mattered. “I didn’t tell you because, well,” he gestures randomly. “You would’ve let the cat outta the bag.”
“Yeah,” Yuna wipes her tears, remembering this morning. “Probably.”
“He was so happy,” a sob tears out of his throat. Yuna grabs his hand and holds it tightly. “I know I made fun of you, but I started writing my own speech. I’m not good with words like you and I never got very far, but,” he sobs harder. Taking a deep breath, he finishes, “I’ll never get to say it.”
Yuna sits up and pulls him into a hug. “Say it to me,” she soothes.
“What,” he sniffs. “Like right now?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok,” he laughs bitterly. “But remember I’m not as good as you.” David takes a deep breath before starting. He’s a big fat liar, Yuna sniffs. Maybe the wording needs a little help, but Yuna’s tears fall harder as she listens to his amazing, wonderful speech.
He talks of the joy he experienced raising Shane. Even with all the tantrums, and believe him, there were a lot of tantrums. Yuna snorts, remembering them fondly. He talks about how lucky he is to be Shane’s father, how much he loves him and can’t wait to see what life has in store for him. Yuna muffles a sob.
He talks about meeting Ilya and how he felt unsure about the Russian. But after many puzzle nights and Yahtzee losses, he’s grown to love him just as much as Shane. He thanks him for putting up with Shane and Yuna chuckles, but on a more serious note, he thanks Ilya for loving Shane unconditionally and always being there for him.
When he finishes, Yuna wipes her tears and lets out a long, shuddering breath. “That was beautiful.”
David wipes his tears and takes a moment to compose himself. “Thank you, that helped, I think.”
Yuna kisses his temple softly. “I miss Ilya,” she sniffs. “I know he wants to be alone, but I need to see him.”
David checks his watch. “I ordered food while you slept.”
“The place—“
“—With the good chicken parmesan,” David finishes, smiling softly. “I’ve learned a thing or two over the years.”
“Sorry.”
“It should be ready for pickup by now.”
“Thank you,” Yuna stares at her husband. What would she do without him? He squeezes her hands and they start to pack up the photo albums. Hopefully Ilya will enjoy looking at them too.
——
When they arrive at Ilya's house, several large Amazon boxes lay on his doorstep. Yuna holds the photo albums and bags of food while David brings them inside. Stepping into the foyer, the house is eerily silent. A chill runs up Yuna’s spine. “Ilya?” Yuna calls out, nothing. Dread fills her gut, the same as this morning. She forces it down. Everything’s fine, it’s just been a stressful day.
“You get Ilya,” David gestures to the stairs. “I’ll get the food ready,” he grabs the bags from her hands. Yuna nods and he walks towards the kitchen.
Yuna glances up the stairs, it’s dark, maybe Ilya’s sleeping? She climbs the steps. “Ilya?” She calls again at the top. Still nothing. “Ilya?” She knocks on the door, no response. Maybe he really is sleeping, she should leave him be. She turns away from the door just to turn back around. After she checks and settles her nerves, she’ll let him sleep. “I’m coming in!” She calls out.
The bed is empty and the duvet is a mess, trash is piled on the nightstand and clothes litter the floor. The bathroom light is on, glowing through the bottom crack. She knocks on the door, “Ilya?” No running water, no noise, no nothing. “I’m coming in,” she says again, opening the door slowly in case he really is showering.
Yuna's blood runs cold. “Ilya?” She whispers, taking a small step forward. That’s odd, Ilya’s laying on the ground. “You can’t—” her voice cracks. “You can’t sleep here, Ilya,” she falls to her knees. “Ilya? Ilya?” she pleads, brushing a curl from his face. His eyes are half lidded and he’s looking at her but he’s not looking at her. “No, no no no, my boy, my beautiful boy—“ her voice cracks. “What did you do?”
She cradles Ilya’s head, holding him close to her chest. “David!” She shrieks, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You're okay,” she murmurs to Ilya, kissing the top of his head and rocking them back and forth. She hears David’s footsteps thunder up the stairs. “You’re going to be okay.”
David freezes in the doorway, staring at them with a look of horror. “Call an ambulance!”
David fishes through his pocket, he pulls his phone out and drops it. Yuna would yell at him except she doesn’t want to disturb Ilya. She closes her eyes and starts to hum, hoping to soothe him.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“M-my son," David chokes out. “My wife found him on the floor and he’s not waking up.”
“Can you tell me your address?” David rattles it off. “An ambulance is on the way. Can you…?”
Yuna hums louder and holds onto the operator's words. Help is on its way. “You’re going to be okay,” she kisses his forehead, repeating the mantra for herself. After a minute, David frantically shakes her shoulder and she opens her eyes.
“Is he breathing?”
“I-I don’t know.” Yuna squeezes him tighter. Why didn’t she check that first? Under the operator's instructions, David checks, placing his face in front of Ilya’s.
“I can’t tell,” he tells the operator. “I-I think I’m doing it wrong, I’m not a doctor, I-I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Okay, the paramedics are only a block away, can you tell me if he took anything?”
David frantically looks around, after a moment he lights up. He reaches under the sink cabinet where an orange pill bottle must’ve rolled. It’s silent as David grabs it, empty.
David rattles off the name of some drug. “For depression,” he reads, face scrunching up. Yuna hugs Ilya tighter. How did she not know? Why did she leave him alone?
BANG!
A loud noise comes from downstairs. “Hello!” Someone yells.
“We’re up here,” David yells back and boots stomp up the stairs. The paramedics pile into the bathroom and try to grab Ilya from Yuna. Yuna holds him tighter. “Yuna,” David pleads. “You have to let them do their job.”
Yuna shakes her head, she can’t leave him, Ilya needs her. David grabs her hands and she shrieks bloody murder as he pulls her away. He hugs her to his chest, forcing her not to look. She pounds on him, pushing with all her might, fighting like hell to see what they’re doing to her boy, but David's too strong.
“I’m sorry,” one of the paramedics says. David’s grip slackens and Yuna uses the opportunity to pull away.
“No,” she shakes her head at the paramedic. “Keep trying!” She begs, unable to look down.
“I’m sorry,” his brows scrunch together. “There’s nothing we can do.”
Yuna shakes her head. Not again not again not again.
David tries to hug her and she shoves him away. “This is your fault!” She shrieks, clutching at her chest as she struggles to breathe. “I didn’t want to leave him and now both of my babies are gone!” She sobs, stumbling back until she hits the wall. She slides to the ground, dropping her head into her hands. “Both of my boys are gone.”
——
It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining, not a cloud in sight. The air is warm, but a gentle breeze ensures it’s not too warm. The grass is green and freshly mowed. Hundreds of fake candles adorn every available surface. They could never figure out why Ilya ordered them from Amazon, but Yuna thinks this is a good use for them. The candles are accompanied by dozens of flowers, filling the air with a nice aroma. Yuna takes a deep breath, she always did love lilies.
‘It’s a beautiful day,’ Yuna thinks, walking down the aisle, ‘It’s also a horrible one.’ She blinks away the tears, she should be walking down a different aisle.
Yuna approaches the giant casket. It wasn’t easy getting, she had to call four different places to find one that accepts custom orders. At seven feet long and five feet wide, it’s one casket big enough for two. She glances inside, Ilya and Shane lay side by side, their hands clasped over their chests, rings on full display.
“Goodnight,” she murmurs, leaning down and pressing a kiss to each of their heads. Standing up, she wipes her tears from their cheeks. She reaches up and closes the casket, tucking them in for the last time.
Turning back to the crowd, she takes her place at the podium. She clears her throat, unfolding her rumpled piece of yellow paper. “I’ve never met a pair more suited for each other than Shane and Ilya. The love they hold for one another is like no other. I didn’t always understand it. Like most others, I believed them to be bitter rivals. So imagine our surprise when Shane showed up on our doorstep with none other than Ilya Rozanov.
“It was quite a shock. Even though we suspected Shane might be gay, we never in our wildest dreams imagined he was in love with the Boston Bear’s biggest asshole. We struggled to wrap our heads around it. How? When? Where? These questions circled our minds relentlessly.
“To this day, we’ve yet to get a clear answer, but we’ve come to realize we don’t need one. Once the shock wore off and we got to know Ilya, we understood exactly how Shane fell in love with him, because we did too.
“David and I, we were never able to have another child. We were okay with it. We had Shane after all and he’s the best son we could’ve asked for. We never dared to ask for another son, afraid fate would punish our greed. We didn’t know it at the time, but that fateful day, when we met Boston's biggest asshole, that was the day our unspoken dream came true and we met our second son.
“Ilya and Shane, against all odds—and there were a lot of odds—you two found each other. As Shane’s mom, thank you, Ilya, for always loving Shane, even when it’s not easy. As Ilya's mom, thank you, Shane, for bringing Ilya home and letting us love him too.”
