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Dad always said that I have a choice, replica was the one to enforce it after his death.
While he said that parents are never always right. I at least would have hoped that border welcoming neighbors would be true. But I wasn’t the one with the side effect. So I couldn’t detect his lies. Just my own
However there was no doubt that my life was only spared by a trigger.
The son of a friend, was spared by a trigger of a person's mentor.
The same mentor who I was supposed to be cared for. They would have killed me, to pry the one thing from my father.
(The idea that I betrayed my homeland feels sickening, but it no longer means anything to me.)
Funny, I wonder if dad would have laughed. Would he have stayed if he knew, or would the whole thing be different if it was me who died that day. It’s useless to ask questions without answers, no one can ask the dead.
The prisoner of Aftokrator is staying at the border. In the basement of the tamakoma branch more specifically, though it seems he isn’t being mistreated.
I do wonder if his life was spared with a trigger. I would ask but I’m scared of the answer, if I was told he wasn’t even threatened then what does that mean to me. Was I a different case because of the type of trigger I possessed.
I wanna be hurt, and angry I want to shout and question. But I’m too numb to even think of doing such a thing. I lost replica, now the only thing left of the man Yūgo kuga is this ring that holds his son's body. His dying body, because Yuma Kuga died right alongside him.
How long would it take to see replica? Will I ever see him before I die? How long indeed, how long till I'm on the floor with a missing leg and arm, without an eye. What a ugly sight I would be for anyone to see.
Jin-San said I have a bright future ahead, and I’m starting to not believe him. Maybe he was lying to me, not like I tried to catch it for I too wanted to believe the lie.
I wonder if I should start to think of my choice to stay here any longer.