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the world of what roy wants and needs blurs in his life. roy sits comfortably in his chair, leaning back peacefully, as his eyes perch on to the window in his office. after the “promise day”, life had left no sense of stillness in his life. now people were clamoring up to him with no sense of boundaries—asking, complaining, begging. there was lots of questions unanswered yet the citizens demanded for one.
it was exhausting trying to stabilize the situation however it was expected.
wanting to be fuhrer means leading amestris with certainty for anything that comes. however there was something in his heart where he cannot lead with confidence. no matter how many times he tries to wash it away, there’s this growing spark of confusion that never ceased to exist. roy pursed his lips.
how could he be a good leader with this trouble in his heart?
a hefty sighs leaves his lungs. despite the hesitation growing in his throat, he knew exactly what it was.
“good morning colonel.”
riza steps foot into the office. the tone of her voice formed by formality, only addressing him by his title.
roy didn’t answer right away, his chest tightens in hearing her voice. he exhaled a small breath before he rotates his chair to face her. “good morning riza.” roy is met with her eyes—hinted with that sharpness she always brings around. his body unnaturally shifts under her gaze.
“i brought back the papers that you asked,” she slides the paper down at roy’s desk with quick precision.
“you’re quite early today,” he mutters, flipping through the pages. the papers were perfect—it was annotated, organized, and written with such care. each report was filled to the brim with details just the way he likes it.
“you expected them by eight,” riza answers. “i didn’t want to disappoint you, sir.”
a satisfied smile leaves his lips. “efficient as always,” he said lightly. “i’d be lost without you.”
lost… the words slowly infiltrated his thoughts. he surely felt this way being with riza.
riza…his right hand woman, his personal assistant, his partner… what would he do without her? the words linger onto his tongue a bit longer.
“do you wish for anything else, sir?” riza interrupts.
“no, that’ll be all… you can go,” roy cuts her off, dismissing her with the flick of his wrist. riza nods and goes back into the halls without question.
as soon as the door closed, the silence became more deafening. roy drops the papers onto his desk. his thoughts were running around in a frenzy.
the only thing he could think about is riza.
one hand reaches over his eyes, curling his fingers around his face. the office around him slowly becomes distant—footsteps and conversations became muffled. he closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing.
he thought about his lieutenant.
she was loyal as a dog, always by his side, she was well skilled with her profession, hands quick and ready to shoot, and she was ready for anything he assigned her to do. riza was the best person he could ever ask for.
though despite her perfection, he wished many things out of her.
he wished riza would spent time more with him.
he wished riza wouldn’t address him as colonel or sir but rather by his name, roy, more.
he wished that there was something more to him and riza.
roy gulps.
he knew it…
his adams apple throbbed as roy finally succumbs to the thing he has been struggling with; his love for riza.
it weighs in heavily like thick raindrops—the certainty wraps around him in a tight grip. no more could he deny the relationship between riza. no more could he justify the aching feelings of love for her. no more could he say that he and riza are just “acquaintances.”
he wanted something more out of their relationship.
it was selfish, of course, but how could he not want anything out of the most perfect and precious woman in his entire life?
now finally, roy could see the room as something different now. when he squints, he doesn’t see the office of central but instead a small hall lined with windows. heavy sunlight warmly infiltrates through the window as white flowers decorated the aisle in simple arrangements—nothing extravagant or loud but one that was enough.
roy fiddles with his outfit; a dark, navy suit neatly coats his body. he messes with his gloves, no more of the thick military gloves that were meant for combustion but ones that were meant for occasions such as these.
the gates suddenly open.
roy’s breath catches.
riza, framed by the sunlight behind, stands in the background with a small smile—a smile meant for him. riza wasn’t in uniform anymore. no more sharp edges, medals, or pistols at her side but instead a white dress that was pure as snow. the fabric falls cleanly as if that dress was waiting for her since day one. her hair was pinned back neatly as a few soft strands catches the light. she walks with the same steady confidence she always has, but now there is something more gentler in her stance.
for once, she is not standing behind him.
she is walking towards him.
roy’s cheeks tighten, a faint blush washes over his face as he stares at the sight before him. when she entered the room, he felt so loved. his heart thundered heavily. no words could escape from his mouth as admiration blocks him from speaking. “i-… riza you look…” roy stammers, his breath stolen away. “beautiful,” he whispers, finally having the courage to admit it.
“you look good yourself, roy…” an amused chuckles comes out of her mouth. riza’s voice was noticeably softer as if no longer confined to act on the foundation of the military. her sharp eyes dilates into more rounder orbs.
honestly hearing his name pronounced like that (bare of any protocol but full of love) roy immediately perks up with a special joy that cannot be ignored. “riza…” he exhales. are you trying to say i don’t always look good?” a sharp grins curves around his lips. a sharp gasp of air exits his mouth.
“of course not. you always look handsome,” riza humors herself. her fingers almost reaches out to touch roy’s tie, an old habit of straightening his collar, however she stops herself. her hands were now clasped together as if restraining herself as if to prove that they were finally equal.
for a moment, neither of them moves. roy clears his throat, noticing how exposed he feels without his rank of colonel. “riza…” he begins to speak, his voice unsteady. he takes a step closer, closing the distance between them. “i love you…”
for the first time in forever, riza’s eyes soften as her composure falls. “i love you too,” she whispered. those raw words of devotion finally blooms.
instead of riza reaching out, it was roy. he clasps the stray lock of hair from her face and brushes it. his fingers then linger onto her cheek, trembling as if he can’t believe this moment was real. “i should have said this earlier…” roy confesses. “i tried to cover it up as professional admiration…but i want you...” he looks harder into her pupils. “i don’t want you as my lieutenant or my assistant but as my woman.”
“of course…” riza’s lips curled. “and i shall accept that position,” riza assures.
for a moment, everything was falling into place. after the heartfelt vows, his gloved hand were placed above hers. the silver ring slid under riza’s fingers, announcing their new found marriage. roy made sure to intertwined their hands together, rubbing over riza’s ring with his thumb. when she did the same to him, his stomach tied itself into knots. riza looked up an into roy’s eyes and found pure joy behind a thin layer of happy tears—his own overjoyed expression was reflecting in them.
finally when the priest finalized their bonds, they crashed their face together to seal their bond. he holds her cheeks, gently moving into her lips. roy closes his eyes, the hair in his body sticking up from the exhilaration. riza’s lips spread the certain warmth that he longs for.
unfortunately the world doesn’t last long. soon the vision fogs before him and when his eyes open wide, he found himself in the office—cold and lonely. the dream broke itself like glass. the white light is gone, the soft murmur of vows dissolves into the distant shuffle of boots outside his office, the scent of flowers is replaced by paper and ink, and his hands are empty, no ring, and no riza.
“get a grip of yourself…” roy clenched his fist, back to his senses again. “i can’t marry her… not right now…”
the mere realization of reality burned at his throat. he looked back at the paper and decides to align their edges until they are perfectly still. it was a small act of control in a life that doesn’t allow him many.
his chest aches yet he knew he could’t let his emotions lead him recklessly. he knew it was a sense of motivation, to remind himslef on why he must endure this loneliness—amestris is broken, and so long as it is, there is no place for softness like that.
roy straightens up. he picks up his pen and gets back to work. the ink flows smoothly out of his hands. each written word makes him date back to that view; the way riza’s lit up with such intense intimacy or the way her touch provided him with such comfort.
as time passed, more of his members came into his office; breda with his sharp observations, falman carrying stacks of files far too neatly organized, and many others. they spoke of borders, unrest, and reconstruction. roy listened, answered, and commanded.. slowly but surely his office was filled up and eventually riza came in. he eyes at her as she walks towards him. there she was, her eyes no more brightened and the military uniform still intact on her.
roy does not reach for her, does not allow himself that luxury. instead, all he can do right now is offers her what he can give—his resolve, his protection, and his patience. love, when restrained, does not weaken; it sharpens. so roy chooses to carry it forward, not as a wish, but as a promise he will honor through action rather than words.
there was a future waiting for them and even if it’s the one that roy doesn’t desire, he will continue to walk beside her, protect her, and love her. that will be his vow.