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When his poor Kouhai told him he wanted to quit smoking, he couldn’t help but get a little mischievous. No no, that wasn’t the right word. Determined. Naturally Sugawara bought a big carton of smokes and brought them to the park where he usually hung out with Yamaguchi.
The green-haired man had an issue with cigarettes since he finished high school, and now that he was a working adult he really wanted nothing to do with it. But it was so hard to quit since he had relied on it all the way from then. He absolutely hated it but the nicotine felt good after a long school day.
Sure he only worked at a home electronics company but it still felt good to leave the past in the past. Like how for instance, he cut his hair. He had it long all throughout his early high school years and cutting it felt nice. So why not do the same for cigarettes?
He barely even noticed his senpai approaching him until he heard the big carton being slammed down onto the picnic table.
“Suga-san! You scared me!”
“Good!”
The green-haired man looked down at the carton “What’s that for?”
“Let’s smoke one last time, huh? Before you quit?”
“I wanted to quit! Not kill myself!”
“Come on, come on! What’s one little box of cigarettes?”
Yamaguchi stared at Suga with a dumbfounded expression “It’s not little!”
The older man sat down next to him “No one has to know. It’s just you and me.”
“And those kids that are playing volleyball three feet away.”
“Ignore them, they’re not important.”
The latter went quiet, thinking through it for a moment before sighing deeply “Fine, if we do this we’re going to do it my way.”
He stood up, stretching his back that was starting to get stiff from being without support for so long.
“Let’s go to my apartment.”
The walk to Yamaguchi’s apartment was not quite as tense as he had thought it would be, he knew that Suga had some form of plan. He never went into something like this without one.
He felt he could trust him.
He certainly felt that way on the court, so why not off of the court?
“Your apartment is spacious.”
“I just moved in not too long ago, Tsukki and I were rooming together for a little while but I felt I needed to branch off a bit.”
Yamaguchi was rambling.
It was obvious.
He didn’t want to try this method, despite saying he trusted Suga, it just felt wrong.
“You even have a balcony!” Suga said excitedly as he walked over to it “Woah! Nice view!” He exclaimed, his face scrunched as he examined the outside.
“It’s another building.”
“It was a joke!”
The silver-haired man opened the balcony door with a slight grunt. The door seemed to get stuck every few inches. But that didn’t deter him as he pulled it open just enough to slip outside. He set the carton down on one of the metal chairs, looking back at Yamaguchi who was still standing in the same spot.
“Come on!”
With a reluctant sigh, he followed behind. He also had some fair trouble with the door as he tried to close it, a nice distraction from what he was about to do.
Why was he scared of it?
He’s smoked a pack at a time before.
Except this was a large carton.
How was he going to do that?
“You got a light?”
Yamaguchi handed his lighter over, a bright pink one because he always lost them if they were duller colors.
“That’s cutesy!”
“Shut up! Just light one!”
Suga held out a cigarette to Yamaguchi who took it, smoking it quickly. A habit he had picked up from his years of smoking. He never liked smoking for longer than a few minutes at a time. He needed the nicotine and he needed it fast.
He set the butt in the ashtray laying on the floor next to him and by the time he had sat back up, Suga was already handing him another one.
“Uh…thanks?”
“No problem!”
“How is this going to help me quit?”
“Won’t you miss it when you’re done? Just get it all soaked up in your memory now!”
Yamaguchi tilted his head slightly in confusion but smoked it anyway. Cigarette after cigarette was handed to him and he smoked them, he didn’t know why. It’s not like it was peer pressure. Actually it was, otherwise he would’ve told the older man no at the park already.
It started to hurt after the equivalent of a first pack, he hadn’t smoked more than that in one sitting before. And it was only then that Yamaguchi realized Suga really wasn’t going to stop. And apparently he wasn’t either.
His chest burned and his throat felt incredibly dry.
“What’s the hold-up? I thought you liked smoking fast?”
“You know, I just thought I could savor it. If this is my last ones then I have to remember it, right?”
“Oh sure!”
He almost sounded condescending.
He probably was.
This burned.
His lungs screamed at him to stop.
But he kept going.
Soon he was two packs in and then three, his whole body started to feel wrong. Really wrong. He felt light-headed and his lungs weren’t even burning anymore but rather giving him this sharp pain every time he breathed in.
And pretty much the only time he breathed in was when he took another drag of a cigarette.
“Here’s another one!”
Yamaguchi took it with a grimace, his hands trembling as he put it to his lips. Suga watched him with the same devious smile he had when they began. He knew what he was doing.
If Daichi heard about this, they’d never hear the end of it.
By the fourth pack, he had broken into coughing fits every drag. His hand gripped his chest as he leaned against the arm of the chair for solace.
It hurts so much.
He hadn’t even realized he had accidentally kicked the ashtray until Suga had sighed in mock disappointment.
The silver-haired man handed him another cigarette, his smile slowly disappearing as he watched Yamaguchi struggle.
“Want another one?”
He took it.
But as he put it to his lips to light it, he…just couldn’t.
“No more.”
His stomach kept twisting into knots, the thought of smoking made him so sick. He wanted to throw up just by watching Suga hold up another one for him.
Smoking used to bring him relief, soothing his stress and worries. But now…
“I can’t.”
Silence stretched between them as Suga watched Yamaguchi process it, his eyes softening as a genuine smile crossed his face.
“Good then.” He said with a sigh of satisfaction, finally closing the box.
The green-haired man gasped after every breath he took in, his lungs feeling like someone had driven a truck over his chest and then got out and stomped on them.
“Why this way?”
“I felt that it was the only way that would work.” Suga said softly, standing up to take the lighter from beside him.
Yamaguchi watched him “It hurts.”
“I know.”
Suga placed a comforting hand on his knee “You did good. You quit because you wanted to. It might’ve been unconventional but in the end, it’s going to help you feel way better.”
“My lungs are going to die before I do.”
The older man laughed, the gentle sound echoing off of the building ahead of them.
“It hurts now but at least you’re not going to ruin it with more toxins in the future.”
Suga stood up, taking both the lighter and the cigarettes with him “I’m going to throw these away and get you some pain medicine at the convenience store. I’ll be back!”
The green-haired man watched the older man leave, his eyes trained on the cigarette box before he forced himself to look away. He wasn’t interested anymore. But he couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if he had smoked it all. Guess that would’ve made him an addict.
He smiled to himself, his hand still clutching his chest as he turned to look up at the darkening sky.
If he was honest, he did feel good about this.
It felt like he had finally gained his control back.
And he knew better than to start back up again, because chances are Suga was going to come back with two more big cartons. And he was definitely not going to survive that.
He really had to buy him good food in return.
