Work Text:
When she was very little, when she had started to be introduced to troll society, and first met other people besides her lusus, she was always very confused when they called her 'he'.
She had always felt like... well, a she.
But every time somebody called her 'he', or 'handsome', or 'the next emperor', it just felt wrong. And she never said anything, because she got the feeling she wasn't supposed to.
When she was four sweeps old, she told her moirail how she felt. He tried to understand, but he'd never felt like he was in the wrong body. He did his best to start calling her she, though. And that was enough, for now.
As she grew older, it hurt her more and more whenever anybody called her "he". But whenever she tried to explain to anybody that she was a she, and not a he, she was met with jokes and laughter -- and on the worst occasions, hatred and disgust. Everybody told her she couldn't be a girl.
She would end up crying in her room, where her moirail would find her later, and he would do his best to comfort her, telling her that she was the prettiest troll he knew. It helped a little bit. She knew that he wouldn't leave her, or give her those looks of disgust that cut straight to the bone. But at the same time, she realised that people she loved and respected would never see her as anything other than a boy.
As time went on, she started to make new friends. They lived pretty far away usually -- but at least they never questioned her name, or her pronouns.
The first time she met one of them in person, she was terrified that they would take one look at her, and laugh. But she didn't. She just gave her a hug, and talked about how happy she was that they were finally meeting.
After a little while, she began to present entirely as female. She grew her hair longer, and she started wearing skirts, and she got ahold of the tiara for the heiress, and traded it with the one she had now -- which was styled for the future "emperor". She tried her best to ignore the nasty comments that she faced, and reminded herself of the accepting friends she now had. And, for the most part, it worked. She was able to stay happy, usually. But there were still days that she ended up crying in her room until her moirail found her.
When she found out about the game, she was so happy. And then she got to meet the rest of her friends. And it was a lot of fun!
Of course, that happiness wouldn't last forever. But she was going to enjoy it for as long as she could.
