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Today was a shithole. It absolutely sucked, and you felt like dying by the end of it.
It hurt more than you could ever anticipate. No matter how used to it you were, no matter how many times you were left in the dust, every time it happened again stung so badly, even if the surprise wore off.
You lay on your bed, tears likely spilling out of your eyes- you didn’t know if you were lightheaded or if the blurriness in your eyes were tears. Who cares?
Outside your window was cloud and rain, basically just a rainy day. It felt like the world was laughing in your face, as if it was trying to laugh in your face and remind you that your day was full of shit.
You hear the door open, and Itrapped walks in, closing it behind him.
He looks you up and down, before sitting beside you. He doesn’t pry information out of you, he doesn’t push, he lets you be sad. Itrapped mumbles your name, to which you turn your head.
“Cmere.” He states, demanding but not forcing. You mumble something to yourself as you crawl over to him, taken aback when he suddenly wraps his arms around your body, pressing you into his torso.
“The fuck..?” You quietly mumble, but you don't protest. How could you? He was the only thing keeping you anchored.
His grip tightened slightly as he rested his head on your own, making sure not to hurt you from the pressure. “Calm down, I’m here.” His voice was weirdly reassuring, and it only made you want to believe him.
Itrapped’s hand lifted to comb through your hair, a soothing action that made your body relax in the slightest way possible. You found yourself leaning into the touch, an arm wrapped around his body as you salty tears fell from your eyes
“Itrapped..” you mumbled, looking up at him. “Mm?” He responded gently, meeting your gaze with a soft look in his eyes. “Why do you actually care about me? Genuinely, I don’t get it. Why? I’m no one special.”
Itrapped lightly chuckled at your words as he continued to let his hand explore your hair. “Why wouldn’t I?” He starts, looking out of the window of your bedroom. “You’re special to me, even if you don’t think that you are. You mean something to me. I could never hate you, even if I wanted to. You’ve earned a place in my heart, and for that, I reward you.”
“You’re being uncharacteristically nice today..” You mutter under your breath, not really complaining.
“I know when you need me to be.” Is all Itrapped says in response, shifting so he could pull your body closer to his. “You don’t need me to be a bitch right now.”
He could only imagine how shitty you would feel if he decided to mess with you in your fragile state. It pains him to even think about it.
You sighed, letting your arms find their way around his neck (without choking him.) “I don’t need you to be a bitch any damn time.” You thought of all of the times he just mindlessly teased you, and god did you want him to not do that right now.
He hums thoughtfully, letting his gaze return to your form. “I guess that’s true, but there’s certain times where I know it would hurt you more. I don’t want you to be in pain.” Itrapped said softly, other hand tracing patterns into your back, helping you relax more.
It wouldn’t hurt to say anything to him. He was one of the only people you trusted, and you couldn’t bottle everything up forever— even if you weren’t going to say much, it would be worth it to say something, rather than nothing at all.
“I’m so tired right now,” You quietly say, voice becoming smaller. “I don’t want to deal with this anymore, I really don’t.” More tears escaped your eyes, staining Itrapped’s clothes, not that either of you cared at all.
“Life sucks, doesn’t it?” Itrapped asked tiredly, already knowing the answer. “But the most we can do is deal with it, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you suffer alone. I am always going to be by your side, understand?”
The warmth of Itrapped’s word (and embrace) enveloped you like a blanket, assuring you that you could really trust him. He patiently awaited an answer from you, to which you sighed at. “Got it..”
“Good. Because I am not going to let you slip out of my grasp. You are not to die under my watch, you will not die under my watch. Things will get better one day, I’m making sure of it.” Itrapped was completely serious when he said this. These weren’t empty words, this was a promise. And maybe an affectionate threat, but who knows?
You and Itrapped lay on your bed, the rain outside slowly turning into a slow, calm melody. Each of the raindrops fell rhythmically against the ground, almost as if it didn’t feel like they were mocking you earlier.. Itrapped hummed a song to help calm you down, and with each passing moment, you felt more tired and sleepy. You tried to keep yourself awake, but it was becoming so much harder, eyelids becoming heavier, moments of spacing out becoming longer and more frequent. Itrapped quickly noticed, of course he did, he noticed everything. The sight of you fighting so hard to stay awake made him chuckle.
“Don’t worry, you can sleep. I don’t plan on going anytime soon..” his voice was like another thing tempting you into deep slumber. Before you knew it, your eyes had closed and your mind had shut off, allowing you to peacefully slip into rest, while Itrapped stayed, never thinking of leaving your side. He gently pressed a kiss to your forehead before he decided to get some shuteye and allowed himself to rest alongside you.
The morning was going to come way too quickly, wasn’t it?