Work Text:
The day has been fairly normal. Exhausting but in a good way. The assignments they were given were tiresome but necessary.
Paperwork and planning for an upcoming op.
Training recruits on how to correctly throw live grenades so they couldn't risk themselves or their team with improper handling of equipment.
Things that were considered not too much of a hassle but when they all added up, they definitely deserved a good sleep.
For a little while now, Soap had found himself following Ghost into the man's room before lights out.
It started off as them grabbing at each other as they tried to eliminate any distance between them. Lips mashed against lips as their hands wandered the planes of each other's bodies. Clothes discarded over the floor as heavy breaths filled the room.
Soap would leave soon after. They hadn't solidified what their 'arrangement' was and he didn't want to overstay his welcome. He knew Ghost liked his own company.
Their kisses became more soft.
Their embrace felt more secure.
Their shared space felt more safe.
It was a dangerous territory to walk in. Loads of unknowns and uncertainty that they had to wade through...
They could communicate during ops perfectly, why couldn't that be the case during their own time?
It wasn't nearly as easy as they had both hoped. Unexpected emotions washed over them and more often than not, it would derail the conversation resulting in one calming down the other.
But eventually they made it over that hurdle.
A simple touch of the hand, their gazes locking onto the other, a small nervous smile.
Then the words awkwardly tumbled out of their mouths at the same time. They both looked surprised but then relaxed into the moment.
It wouldn't be like them if their minds weren't on the same wavelength, even for a confession.
Things seemed to lock into place then after.
Ghost held onto Soap after another night of passion, thus breaking the cycle of Soap leaving soon after. Then the same happened when the two disappeared into Soap's room one evening.
Their evenings were calm, a necessary moment for them to wind down after the dark tendrils of their jobs had latched into their minds throughout the day. The comfort of being in each other's embrace felt like a necessary step to keeping their heads clear to prepare them for their every day terrors.
Yet of course not every night could be a peaceful one. They could never be that lucky while still serving.
--
There was a storm that night. The clouds had been dark and looming for most of the day, yet they never broke. All while training, prepping gear and writing out paperwork, Ghost had kept an eye on the sky any chance he'd got.
//The topic of fears had come up one night while he had John cuddled up to his chest.
'It's fairly ironic and stupid really...' The Scot had muttered in the dark.
'Not sure you could get more ridiculous, Johnny.' Simon had sighed back, while carding a hand through John's ruffled mohawk.
He heard a curse but then John pulled closer to his chest and tensed. So Simon waited and breathed calmly into the silence.
'I uh... I dinnae like thunder and lightning. Stupid seeing as though I work with explosives but it's been that way since I was a kid.'
He'd stayed quiet, waiting for a response from Simon but the man remained silent. His hand never stopped playing with the Scot's hair. John inhaled sharply and carried on. 'I think I know why, that it's a fear.'
'Hmm, yeah?' Was all that Simon replied with. It seemed like something John wanted to get out, say aloud to test how it felt on his tongue.
'I can control my IEDs and whatnot. I know when they should go 'bang' or near enough... With lightning it's a warning of what's to come but it's never immediately after. Sometimes ye don't even get the warning, just the crash of thunder. Fills me with dread.'
The realisation feels like a weight has lifted but he knows some still remains. He might never be freed from his fear but at least he understands it. 'Some days it's fine, I'll see the lightning and know what to expect. Other days, it's rough.'
Simon's fingers kept playing through the strands of John's hair while his other began to draw circles on his back.
Silence drew out between them. The soothing motions of Simon's fingers scatting over his skin and hair made John's eyes grow heavy. Yet just before he dropped off, Simon spoke up.
'I'm afraid of the dark.'
'Mm?' John managed, sleep coiled around him. 'Who's ridiculous now?'
Simon huffed a laugh but carried on, the small smile on his lips turning sad. 'Always have been scared of it, always will be. On ops it's fine, I keep to it and it's almost a safe space there. Yet when I'm alone... It shows me things I know aren't there. I can't trust my own mind.'
He sighed. He didn't know if John had fallen asleep but adding his own confession of fear had lifted a weight somewhat. 'Having someone with me makes it easier.' He whispered into the night.
'Glad I can help.'
They'd fallen asleep soon after, both cuddled up and secure.//
The two were in Ghost's room, getting dressed for bed when the first flash of lightning happened.
Simon looked to John out the corner of his eye to asses how the Scot was. Thankfully he seemed mostly unaffected and carried on getting dressed. It was when the crash of thunder hit, that John's actions stuttered.
"It's fine, Simon. Let's just get to bed, yeah?"
Simon didn't argue, he wanted to be in the safety of their shared bed as soon as possible too. He could feel something lurking in his mind, thoughts he didn't want to work through lingered at the edges, just out of reach.
"Alright Johnny."
They both soon found themselves cuddled up under the duvet. John had positioned himself away from the window and with his head laid against Simon's chest. He knew he couldn't block out the storm but not seeing it dead on and hearing the beat of Simon's heart would soothe the slight dread he felt. Thankfully it was sheet lightning, a calmer and less bright form that wouldn't disturb John nearly as much.
Simon laid there with his arms around John. He listened to the man's breathing even out all the while the clouds erupted outside. He fell asleep soon after.
John awoke to a cold pillow next to him. His blurry eyes couldn't see anyone so he sluggishly moved his arm to search for the man.
A flash of lightning illuminated Simon, sat up in bed.
"Simon?" His voice, rough with sleep. "Ye alright?" He didn't get an answer but he could just about make out the man shift a little. "Simon?"
He didn't reply so John slowly sat up as well. The worry that started to make its way through John outweighed the distant rumbles and weaker flashes of lighting. He moved slow as to not spook the other man, sitting up next to him and turning his head to face him. John rubbed his face and tried again when Simon made no noise.
"Simon? What's wrong?" His voice had an authoritive tone, he knew there was no point in letting 'this' linger for any longer. He needed to nip it in the bud, even if it meant Simon didin't explain what had happened. If he avoided the topic, so would John. At least he'd be thinking of something else.
Finally John heard a shallow sigh. He felt Simon move next to him. He raised his hand and rubbed his face and John got a glimpse as lightning softly illuminated the room again.
"The dark… There was something in it…" Simon took another deep breath to try and rid himself of the lingering tremours. John stayed silent, he suspected there was more to it than that. "It… It was following us, Johnny… And I couldn't catch it."
"Simon, it's alright. Let's lay back down. It can't get us now." His voice was calm but firm. He knew they both would benefit from a few more hours of trying to sleep instead of John trying to gently talk Simon through whatever he saw.
"But it's still out there. Still in the dark."
"Simon, lay down."
"I need to do something about-"
"Lay down, Simon."
In hind sight, it wasn't John's best course of action to demand Simon lay down instead of actually help him through what he was going through, but he was knackered, the lightning was still flashing outside and he knew that if Simon stayed sat up staring into the darkness, he would only become more paranoid. It just wasn't the time to talk things through. They could do that in the morning or when Simon was comfortable enough.
John led Simon back down into bed, laying first and guiding Simon's head to rest over John's calm beating heart. Simon's arms curled around John in a protective and secure hold as he nuzzled against John's chest.
John's arms gently held Simon in place, one hand holding while the other traces patterns over his skin. Up and down his spine. Left to right over the scars that littered his pale skin. Circles and random patterns until Simon's tense body when pliant in his arms. He started tracing again as he listened to Simon's steady breathing against his chest hair, hoping that it would calm whatever monsters had tried to follow Simon into his dreams.
John ever so slightly squeezed him. He wished he could elimate all the evil that still followed Simon but this is what he had to settle for. He knew Simon was more than capable on the field and off in the day, yet the night's clearly haunted the man.
So John would become his guard dog in the darkness of the night, protect him and have his six even while Simon slept.
Some night terrors aren't easy to talk about and maybe even too difficult to ever talk about… But they both know they can get through it, together.