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It’s 1992, the group still talks… occasionally.
They’re mainly separated with their own lives, some even moved away to forget what had happened.
Apart from Michael. He chose to cling on to the wilting memories.
Will and Mike are the farthest, they barely ever talk which had just become the norm causing the group to hang out less.
———
Saturday night on Halloween, Will’s getting ready for his long awaited date night with Carlton.
He’s getting dressed the best he can—wearing a suit and tie he borrowed from Jonathan’s many job interviews, he even put on the most expensive cologne he could afford.
After one last look in the mirror he grabbed his keys and leaves.
As he turned the keys in the car a wave of panic floods over him.
“What the hell?” He muttered under his breath.
The car won’t start.
He tries turning the keys a couple more times but finds no luck.
“Shit!” He yells banging his palm against the dashboard.
He had drove the car to the grocery store just this morning, why would it break down now?
The car door slams as he starts pacing in his driveway; each step felt heavier than the last.
He tried thinking of any realistic solutions as walking for an hour was not an option.
I mean, he could just borrow someone’s car for the night, but it’d be odd to ask someone so last minute.
Who would he even ask?
Joyce and Hopper were out of town and Robin lived too far away, the rest either moved away or just… weren’t that close anymore.
Apart from one.
“Mike” The words leave his lips barely a whisper.
“No, absolutely not.”
They aren’t that close and it’s just awkward anyway.
Mike was his last resort, even the decade-old bikes in his garage were a more fathomable option than asking for a ride from him.
Around a minute has passed when he brought himself to reach over.
His hand hovered above the phone having a slight tremor in his fingers before dialling his number.
He thought he had forgotten Mike’s number but got it on the first try like muscle memory from all those years before.
“Hello?” A voice cut through the silence sounding tired, repetitive even, as if he had gotten these calls a hundred times.
Will’s lips parted—unable to make a sound.
“Uhm hey, It’s… it’s Will—“ he finally forced himself to say something before getting interrupted.
“Oh my god, Will? Hey, how… how’ve you been.” The previously irritated tone had now been replaced with a radiant and almost thrilled one.
“I’m fine but uhm… well, are you busy? Sorry, I know this sounds weird.”
“No, no don’t be and not at all.” Mike sounds excited, as if he was waiting for a call like this.
Will takes a deep breath, formulating the words in his head “So, I was wondering if I could maybe… borrow your car.”
The question stumped Mike. Almost like he was waiting to hear something else.
“My car?” He asks “Sure but for what, if you don’t mind me asking. You know, maybe I could drive you, it’s not like I have anything else to do.”
“No, no, really it’s fine you don’t have to go through all that trouble for me, and it’s to get to Carlton’s house. I’m kind of running late anyway.” Will’s voice trailed off following a long pause.
“Oh.”
Mikes demeanour had completely changed after he heard that name, the same name he’s resented for years. His brows now furrowed, he didn’t want anything to do with Carlton but, he was doing Will anyway.
Will resumed after hearing Mike stay silent “If not that’s fine Mike, really, I get I—“
Mike’s sharp tongue cuts him off “No, I can, I can. You’re running late anyway.”
“Alright, see you, oh and thanks again”
“Yeah of course, I’ll be there in 5” Mike rushed over his words before hanging up.
Mike put on the first thing he could find and hurried to his car—he wasn’t going to go in slippers and week old sweatpants, was he?
On the way to Will’s house he turned on the radio in hopes of easing his mind for the conversation to come.
The thought of them having forced conversations, unlike the naturally flowing ones they’ve had when they were younger bothered him more than it should’ve, they were bestfriends after all.
Meanwhile Will sat on his couch, worried. Not about Mike though, but of Carlton and what he’ll have to tell him when he gets there.
The hatred between Mike and Carlton was mutual after all.
Headlights flooded his vision, causing those thoughts to be interrupted, followed by a screech from the driveway.
He figured it was Mike so he began to head out.
He turned the doorknob letting the crisp air brush over his face.
He looked up, their eyes met. Mike stood there with his hand raised halfway to the door.
“Hey.” Will said, clearly oblivious to Mike standing just a few inches from him.
He’s not greeted back, instead he’s met by Mikes stare seemingly mesmerised by the soft glimmer on Will’s face from the living room lights behind him.
He’s never seen Will like this before, his slicked hair and the polished suit… he just looked perfect.
He quickly regained his composure before greeting him back, his voice faltered for a second, not long enough to for Will to notice.
Mike cleared his throat reaching for a hug but is instead met with an unreciprocated pat on the shoulder.
The awkward exchange makes them stumble over their apologies effectively worsening the situation.
“Uh, we should get going now.” Will tries to move on with the conversation.
“No, yeah, totally.” Mike adds in his usual tone.
When they got to the car, will told him the address, Mike looked away while rolling his eyes, this time Will notices.
“Sorry, is it bothering you, Mike?” Frustration was building in his voice.
“What? No, why would I be?”
“Oh I don’t know, Mike, it seems to me that every time there’s even the slightest mention of Carlton you always roll your eyes, you start acting all bummed out for the rest of the day and you mope. Like seriously dude.”
“I don’t ‘mope’” he said in air quotes “and no, I… I don’t care about Carlton. But I’m telling you, he’s isolating you, Will—”
He interrupts him, furious now.
“Isolating me? Are you kidding? You’ve been isolating yourself for the past three years. You never even want to hang out with the party lately and why is that? Oh wait, it’s because Carlton’s there, and I’m telling you Carlton’s a really nice guy, you just never took a chance to get to know him and that’s your problem Mike, you never try anything new, you’re stuck in this bubble of ‘routine’ and you hate everything outside of it.”
Will finally runs out of words, tears started to swell in his eyes. He realised Mike was too pussy to answer his confrontation so he just turned towards the window and hopes the ride’s over soon.
Meanwhile, Mike’s mouth is wide open, mind racing through words, palms sweating against the steering wheel.
He’s never been good with confrontation.
The rest of the ride is tense, the only thing cutting through the thick silence is the occasional direction check and the music on the radio.
A Voice far too familiar cut through the air.
“Hello and good evening ladies and gentlemen, it’s your favourite radio host: Rockin’ Robin, and tonight is an absolutely beautiful night, not only because of the clear sky and bright stars, but most importantly because one of my good friends has a…” A crackling drum roll sound effect plays in the back before Robin continues, seems like Steve still works at the WSQK too.
“date! That’s right my friends and that’s why this next song by his favourite artist is dedicated to you, Will. Take it away, Chapell!”
Good luck, babe! by Chapell Roan tuned into the radio.
Will turned to the radio after hearing his name, a smile grew on his face.
Mike had never heard of this song before, maybe it should’ve stayed that way.
Mike’s mind began wandering—why and how does she know Will’s favourite song, is she like obsessed with him or something?
As the song goes on Mike catches on to a few lyrics, he wouldn’t like to admit it but he’s been fully tuned in during the entire song.
For some reason the fact that he now realised this was Will‘s favourite song made him over-analyse every lyric.
Each word grabbed his attention with the deeply-buried unwanted familiarity—he relates to it too much.
One lyric stood out to him more than any other:
You have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.
As the same phrase began to slow down towards the end of the song, his mind went to one thought.
He’s briefly cut off by Will’s soft voice:
“Aw, that’s so sweet of her, i’m surprised she even remembered it”
“What do you mean ‘remembered it’?” Mike’s tone irritated as he turned to look at him. The thought of Will not coming to Mike with news first completely drove him up the wall.
“Well, i’ve been planning this date for a while” Will continues
“and I did first tell her like a month ago so—“
“Well, why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were…” he was at a loss, the same words that used to come out of his mouth like it was second nature were now stuck in his throat like a pill he couldn’t swallow.
“… best friends.” The words forced out of his mouth while he shifted in his seat uncomfortably.
“Yeah, we are. I just thought… you wouldn’t be interested.”
“Well, of course I’d be and anyway, do you actually like her? Sorry, not Robin, I mean the singer.”
Will snickers at Mike “Uh… yeah, I mean I don’t know, I think she’s really good.”
“Are you kidding? I mean, come on the instrumental is completely off and she’s like totally tone deaf.”
“What? She’s great! You try sing like that if you’re this ‘expert critic’”
They both burst out laughing. It’s been a while since they have, just them too.
A while of awful impressions and laughter later they pulled into Carlton‘s driveway.
Will’s halfway out the car when he feel a warm touch grabbing his wrist.
“Will, wait.” Mikes Voice calls out.
As Will turned around—clueless, Mike gently let go and continued. He paused for a moment trying to cautiously pick out the right words.
“Uhm… about earlier, I’m sorry for being so narrowminded I mean, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, really, it’s nothing.”
Mike cleared his throat and stepped out of the car, Will was just standing there anxiously.
“ Maybe… I don’t know, I guess I just…”
he paused at his words fearing Will’s reaction
“got a little jealous.”
“Jealous? Why?” Will’s genuine curiosity stunned Mike for a little, he was usually perceptive when it came to these conversations.
Will feared the day that this kind of talk would come up, he had thought of something like this happening in the past but never thought it would come so soon.
Mike took a deep breath as he looked down, a glimmer of guilt in his eyes whilst he began speaking.
“I… I don’t know if I can say this with El’s passing and all but, you know that day you went missing, me, Dustin, and Lucas went out into the woods to try and find you. You know, in the heavy rain and all, the flashlights barely helped us. I think we were out there for like hours. And at some point… we saw her, she was standing right in front of us, the moment I saw her it was like I knew it was love at first sight. Well, I don’t know, I think maybe I say that because it’s true, but not because I saw El, but because I could’ve sworn that for a second I saw…”
Mike pauses; unsure if he should continue and be vulnerable with his feelings for once or just dismiss it like he always does. Before he can even process his thoughts, the words slip out of his mouth.
“You.”
Will’s eyes widened, he was left paralysed, stunned by the words he had heard. He waited for decades to hear him say that. Although it was too late now.
“M-Mike… I—“
“I know it’s stupid, God. You’re literally dating Carlton. I guess the reason I’m telling you this now is because… Well, i’ve just been so scared, scared of who I was and thought that maybe… maybe if I had pushed those feelings down, they just go away and disappear but I was so wrong. I mean El, I loved her but I didn’t love her the same way I loved you. Every moment we shared, El and I, all I could think about was you and how much she reminded me of you. So I didn’t tell you this earlier because I was hiding away, keeping any of those feelings locked away and safe. But now that I see how comfortable and happy you are, I guess… I’m not that scared anymore, I’m sorry.”
Tears were streaming down his face as he fell into Will’s arms. This time he let him.
Will was left speechless by what he had heard, his mind overflowed with thoughts: were all those times actually reciprocated? Were all those mixed signals clear from the start?
They stood there in Carlton’s driveway, each minute felt stretched out into hours while they shook in each other’s arms—both for different reasons.
When Mike finally knocked back into his senses he pulled away from him leaving a soaked stain on Will’s suit.
“Mike, I’m sorry, I should’ve known. I should’ve been there for you.” Will barely pronounced the words through sobs.
Mike looked at him softly, the same way he had all these years before.
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine. It’s my fault I was such an idiot and couldn’t have common decency.”
Will tried saying something, anything to comfort and reassure Mike. He couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t make the situation tense.
The moment was cut short by a call. Will’s phone buzzed which startled them both as he rushed to pick it up.
Carlton’s voice sounded irritated on the other end of the line. Who wouldn’t be?
Before ending the call, Will stayed silent for a while as if he was considering something other than walking through the front door at that moment.
His voice began unsteadily while his hand covered the speaker of his phone “Are you sure you don’t want me to come over? We could at least talk it out properly.”
“No, no don’t worry. I wouldn’t want to ruin your night. Besides, you’ve been planning this day for months now you should have your time together.”
“Are you sure?” Will’s comforting tone almost made Mike give in, but thinking about Will and Carlton… he couldn’t possibly say yes and pressure Will to abandon his plans just for him to be a one-night therapist all because Mike got sappy over his feelings one night.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Mikes tone came out reassured; more than he was himself.
“Alright then, I’ll see you soon.” Will turned around to walk into Carlton’s house leaving Mike behind.
Mike stood there, not getting in his car, not following after Will, but just standing there. Unable say a simple goodbye; instead his eyes traced over Will’s body yearningly.
He stood outside his house for a while. All he could think about was if that night would’ve gone differently, if instead of Carlton it was Mike laughing with Will over a shared glass of wine.
After repeating the same scenario for the tenth time he had accepted it—it was too late, he was too late.
His feet dragged across the cold concrete, the worn out shoes barely counting for cover as he got in his car.
He thought that maybe a confession like this would make him feel lighter, instead he just felt empty, like if he lost a part of himself at that moment.
He couldn’t bring himself to leave, a sliver of hope inside of him thought that maybe, just maybe Will would come back outside and things would go differently. Nothing happened.
He waited for hours just staring at the front door. Slowly, the street lights turned on, people began returning to their homes leaving fewer and fewer people on the street, finally even the lights in Carlton‘s house turned off.
Something inside of him shut off at that moment.
He turned the keys in his car, shifted gears and drove.
The entire ride was silent, although his thoughts were loud enough to make it seem otherwise.
He felt like he couldn’t think properly, as if he was running on autopilot.
After a while he could see his house in the distance through the rain that trickled down the windshield glass.
That pale, old green paint on the walls of his house sickened him, it reminded him of how every passing day was just a bleak solitary replicate of the one before: wake up, eat, sit at his desk in front of the typewriter and contemplate, come up with nothing, go sit on the couch and then fall asleep.
The more he thought about it the more he realised that Will was right, it was just an endless cycle of monotonous being.
Without a second thought, he got out of the car after pulling into the driveway and headed to the shed in his backyard.
The wet mud underneath his feet felt like it was pulling him down. He pushed through and reached the old wooden door.
The hinges were loud from the years of rust and corrosion that were left unchecked, even parts of the door began to break off at the bottom.
He pulled the string to turn on the light which flickered momentarily before dimly turning on.
His shed was overflowed with unused appliances and garden tools, but he could see one thing very clearly, the shine from the metal made it clear as to what it was: a revolver.
The same one that was used for years during their time with the upside down, the memories made Mike have to put it in the shed a while back. It seemed like it would finally have to come to use again.
He took a step forward, his hand shook more with each passing second.
He looked down at the cold metal, his eyes void of any emotion.
The shed had a lingering scent of crayon wax from the spare box he had after he moved into that house. It reminded him of all the times him and Will would hide in the shed and draw for hours.
They could never be 6 again, they could never have the same bond as the used to, and they certainly could never see each other in the same way ever again.
His had reached up as if it was drawn towards the gun.
He reached for it, his composure temporised momentarily before moving closer again.
His mind blanked the second his fingertips touched the cold wood.
As he picked it up he felt the ground begin to spin. Time felt rushed.
His hand trembled relentlessly when he felt the barrel against his chin.
He pressed his back against the wall and slid down to his knees.
He closed his eyes blinding his vision with past memories, his mind rushed through a million thoughts at once.
Suddenly he was back—he was five again. A vivid picture had formed of a blue and yellow swing set, he was rocking alongside Will.
That old, recognisable laugh filled his ears as a cold tear rolled down his cheek.
His entire body began shaking with each memory.
Then he heard it: her voice.
Clear as day as if she was right there next to him.
You have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.
He had to, this was the only way he could stop the feeling.
His finger slowly applied more pressure.
His body numb—the lyric kept repeating until he heard nothing but persistent ringing in his ears.
His lips parted as the words came out in barely a whisper.
“I love you, Will.”
He forcefully pulled on the trigger.
A sharp noise echoed around nearby houses.
———
His body was found that night—it lay lifeless, the pool of blood stained the hard wood.
Will found out 2 days later. He was in constant grief for the rest of his life, blaming himself for everything.
The week of the funeral was insufferable. There wasn’t a moment where Will wasn’t crying whether it’d be to Jonathan or his mom.
He couldn’t talk about it to Carlton. A part of him believed Carlton was at fault for what happened that night.
After all, if they weren’t half an hour late to Will’s date, him and Mike could’ve talked it out more; stalled the inevitable, and if it wasn’t for their date none of this wouldn’t have happened at all.