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When Dick ran from him in a flurry of rage at the age of 17 Bruce worried so much. Sure he had a tracker on Dick at all times but it's not like he's going to just show up to whatever spot he's ran himself into and let Dick know a tracker is there. Okay, maybe that's the wrong reason for not showing up now that he's thinking about it but he's never been good at emotional things. I mean look at him when his parents died, he ran for the mountains to go train for however long, came back to Gotham and declared he was going to spend his nights dressed as a bat and fight crime.
Yeah, emotions and Bruce don't mix. When he first took Dick in, all he saw was a boy he could try to save from going down the same path as himself. Yet, that didn't happen. Instead of steering the boy away from unhealthy coping mechanisms he handed down the only one he knew. Punching away his problems. Which is probably why he and Dick clashed so much. Dick grew up around all kinds of people to give him life advice whether it be good or bad.
The kid had already traveled to countries Bruce didn't even consider for vacation all before the age of 10. And all Bruce got was people from new and old money, a butler, and two parents who were always working but still tried their best. And all of those people have almost always never met a struggle in their lives. When Dick first came to the manor he always complained of it being so empty even though to Bruce it was now so lively and bright. But going from seeing so many people everyday to only seeing two or one most days had to have been a transition. So, while Dick grew up with an already kind of unconventional family due to his circus upbringing. Bruce, as always, wasn't well prepared for the amount of learning he was going to be doing while trying to raise Dick to be the best version of himself he could despite the tragedy.
And yet, no matter how many parenting books Bruce read, none of them covered how to help a child stop being afraid of the only thing reminiscent of his circus life if you don't count Zitka. It didn't cover how to get your kid not to be scared of even looking at a trapeze and thinking of the worst outcome imaginable. How does one even try to touch the topic of a tragedy like that. I mean Bruce had hated guns even before his parents died, their murder just gave him all the more reason to (and PTSD). But poor Dick has been raised loving a trapeze, doing backflips, and performing stunts not many people could say they can do. Then to have it striped away from him right before his eyes at the hands of one man would make any person angry and vengeful. Yet, Dick strived through it all despite not being in the best mental state he managed to become Bruce's light.
By the time Dick was nine he got over his fear of getting back on the trapeze without a net. This was also the year he finally got to go out as Robin. Bruce probably would have let him out sooner but since the kid was still afraid of falling it didn't feel right to give him a grappling hook to travel the city just yet. I mean you look at Dick learning martial arts moves for the first time and you would think he's been practicing it for weeks. He takes to fighting like a fish to water. Due to his acrobatic background it was easier for Bruce to apply real world examples than it was with the other Robins.
Bruce thinking about the things he could have done better for Dick to live like a normal child can't change anything he's done. He's messed up so much with all of his kids but with his eldest especially. Even now with Damian he sucks at showing how much he actually cares without coming off as ‘brooding’ or ‘overbaring’. Dick has told him over the years that he's too straightforward with things he says. No matter if it comes from a good place he can never seem to get it right with anyone. Not just his kids but people he considered friends. He pushed them away for so long he didn't even know if he still had a shot at friendship in the end.
Before Dick came into his life all he had was the void left by his parents and a butler who didn't know how to handle a grieving child/young adult. He had no light, no happiness, no love for himself, no self-esteem, nobody to care for, and no reason to live. But when he got his sunshine the world changed so drastically. Dick brought him hope for a better life, love for himself, and most importantly a reason to live. Even now as an adult Dick is the only one who Bruce needs to see to feel better. Don't get him wrong, he loves all his children. But Dick, is the one who if he lost Bruce would never be a person again.
Bruce would be darkness reincarnated. A shadow of the man he once was. Never in his life would he want to imagine the path he'd go down if they took his sunshine away. Even when Jason died he was inconsolable and he still never fully recovered from the trauma of being too late. If the Joker had killed Dick, Bruce is sure that there wouldn't have been a Clark to stand in his way. He would've taken out Clark without a second thought. Not dead but incapacitated. If Bruce started to kill people he would never stop. Not killing people helps him feel human and so does Dick. So losing both just isn't an option. Which is why the Joker is another story. Because he wouldn't kill Clark but he'd kill the Joker without hesitation if he took Dick away. It's why he makes sure when the Joker escapes Arkham he's always with his kids when they go out. They hate it, but if it's what keeps his sunshine safe then they can hate it all they want.
Bruce would destroy the world before he let it take his sunshine away.