Chapter Text
Ness's life underwent a change overnight, and, honestly, he still didn't know how to handle it all. Ness was lost. Things spiraled out of control in a way he couldn't understand. One day he was an excellent midfielder with a bright future, and the next he was still a midfielder, but he had two (and a half) secrets to hide for fear of his career ending.
After they cried a lot upon hearing the news about Ness's pregnancy, he and Kaiser thought about how they would tell Noa, and how they would make him not want to kill them. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Noa received the test results directly from the clinic, since as a trainer in Blue Lock it was his job to send the results so that Ness could continue playing. When Noel saw the results, he was with the other trainers from the NEL. Snuffy and Loki looked startled when he choked on his coffee, while Prince and Lavinho laughed.
“Are you ok?” Snuffy is the first to ask.
“Yeah…” He was still coughing, but his response had changed. “No.”
"Do you want me to call a doctor?" Loki asked worriedly.
“No, I'm fine.” He regains his composure. “It's something else that's not fine at all.”
“What's so wrong that made the amazing Noel Noa choke?” Chris mocks.
Noa just ignores it, but before leaving the room, realizing he didn't know how to handle this situation, even knowing it could happen (he just hoped the two of them would be less idiotic about it), he turns around and asks.
“What would you do if one of your players were to have a child?” He didn't mention names and didn't want to mention Ness's situation.
Lavinho and Prince's laughter ceased, and the four looked at him in shock. Silence must have reigned for a few minutes before everyone shouted a loud "What?". Noa's luck was that they took it as a hypothetical question.
Noa's conversation was basically him arguing with Kaiser for being irresponsible and discussing what they would do. Ness continued playing, even though Noa didn't like the idea. The players who played in the NEL league, both those from the Blue Lock project and those from outside, had signed a contract to stay at the facilities for two reasons: to develop the project's players, and because the NEL league provided a lot of fame and a great financial return for the project, which, with Ego's crazy plans, they need a lot of money for. Alexis didn't want to break his contract, so he continued playing, following all medical recommendations, which were numerous, in addition to having weekly checkups.
No one, besides Kaiser and Noa, knew about the pregnancy, and Ness didn't intend to tell anyone.
"What do you intend to do? Keep playing until the day before you give birth and then go back to playing as if nothing happened?" Noa's voice was sarcastic after the 4-week checkup. Ness just glared angrily, something he had plenty of with his hormones raging.
"I'll figure it out." He said this before practically dragging Kaiser, who had learned not to argue with an angry Ness, away from the Frenchman.
Alexis felt like he was in a tsunami of emotions, and everything around him seemed to only amplify the wave. Of course, he had an idea that Blue Lock wasn't the best place to spend a pregnancy, in fact, it was on the list of best places to go crazy, but he didn't think he would start losing his sanity and wanting to kill everyone there.
Every day, he woke up nauseous and, while he almost threw up his guts, he heard the shouting in the hallway, giving him a headache. In the cafeteria, he could barely eat anything, barely able to think because of the pain. Training was worse; the smell of sweat made Ness almost vomit right there, in addition to the fatigue, the frequent trips to the bathroom, and the interruption of the medication he took for psychological problems, which made living with the others very difficult.
“Ness?” Yukimiya called him after Ness stopped during training.
“I'm fine…” He tried to regain his posture just to run (if he still had the strength) to the bathroom. “I need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.” He looked at Kaiser, who, to anyone who didn't know him, would seem not to care, but Ness knew that he was ready if he asked for anything, as if to say: I'm fine, it's just your son driving me crazy.
“What's up with this guy? He can barely manage 5 minutes of the damn training,” Raichi said before Ness was even close enough to hear.
Kaiser was called by Noa as soon as the blond took a step towards Raichi. Alexis would have ignored the comment if it were before, but now he had a little being developing and stirring his hormones to the point that that simple comment made Ness's blood boil. He loved his son, but he hated being pregnant, or at least, he hated hiding that he was pregnant while he was in Blue Lock.
Sometime between the sixth and seventh week, Alexis started thinking while looking at his belly in the mirror. It was still flat, basically just swollen, but knowing that something was growing there made Ness want to keep looking, it was the first time he looked at his belly, he even avoided it during exams. Noa's words echoed in the midfielder's head. He was too young to have children, in fact he didn't even dream of having children (not with his and Kaiser's family history), but he couldn't feel terrified, not until that moment. When his belly started to grow it would be difficult to hide and it would be impossible to play football because of the risks, there was also the birth, the postpartum period and the first months of life, which, doing the math, he concluded that he probably wouldn't even have a career left when he could go back to playing.
He needed to talk to someone, but Kaiser was giving an interview with the rest of the players, which Ness didn't want to go to knowing that nobody cared about what he said and they only saw him as Kaiser's little puppy. Alexis smiled thinking about how Kaiser's fans would react knowing that the son of "their Emperor" was in his womb. Even though the thought made him laugh a little, he was still sad and needed to vent.
He took the impulsive initiative to dial his mother's number (due to a lack of medication and a setback his psychologist had that week and couldn't answer him). She would probably call him irresponsible and say that if he had a decent job this wouldn't happen (whether "this" referred to the end of his career due to time away or the pregnancy, Alexis couldn't tell), but even that was better than silence. Before he could even think much about the decision, his mother answered.
"What do you want now, Alexis?" The woman's voice was harsh, and Ness could hear his brothers' voices in the background.
"I'm going through something difficult and I wanted to talk…" He kept his voice low, without showing that he wanted to cry; his family hated when he cried.
"You dug your own grave, even when we warned you." His brothers laughed a little in the background. "This difficult situation is the expected end of your 'football career'." There was a certain mockery in her voice.
"More or less."
“So see this as your chance to forget all this nonsense and focus on a real life.” He could imagine the woman's cold look.
“It's a much bigger problem than just my career.” She placed her hand on her stomach.
“I could solve any problem if I made the right choices.” Before Ness could answer, she had already hung up.
Alexis stayed there, now sitting on the floor, while tears streamed down his face. There was no one in the Bastard's sector, so he didn't worry about making noise.
It was only when the door to his and Kaiser's room opened (he probably forgot to close it when he returned from dinner) that he fell silent. Itoshi Sae, who had also signed a contract with Blue Lock to optimize the players while Re Al makes all the necessary changes for him to play on the main team, entered the room. Ness stared at the player as he entered the room, closed the door, and sat down next to Ness on the floor.
“Shouldn't you be at the interview?” That was the first thing Alexis managed to say.
“I ask you the same thing.” Itoshi says emotionlessly.
“I don't like going and nobody cares about what I say or about me in general.” Ness replies, waiting for Sae's answer.
“I was there, but I left when I got bored.” He noticed that Sae's hair was wet. “I don't like it either, but apparently people care a lot about me, I wish they cared a little less.”
“I wish they cared a little more.”
Alexis was somewhat uncomfortable, since they had barely met before, he only knew Sae's name, as he was one of the NewGen just like Kaiser, but Itoshi seemed completely calm.
“Do you want to talk about what made you cry so desperately?”
“It's nothing.” He wiped away the last tears that were running down his face.
“‘Nothing’ wouldn't make you cry so loudly that I heard it from the hallway, Ness.” Sae looks at him, since until then he had only been looking ahead.
“Do you know my name?” Ness also looks at him.
“Your name is Alexis Ness, Kaiser told me about you when we met.” He spoke as if it were perfectly normal. “He said you were a very talented midfielder.” Ness smiles, knowing that Michael praised him to other people. “I wanted to talk to you, so when I didn't see you at the interview I imagined you were in the room and I heard you crying.”
“And that I go unnoticed, so I didn't think you would recognize me.” Ness laughs shyly.
“Some reporters and fans asked about you.” Sae brushes his bangs away from his face, perhaps as an act of nervousness. “Kaiser said you weren't feeling well, the Bastard players rolled their eyes, one even commented that you were always feeling bad.” Ness is speechless. “Which is true, I watched your last two training sessions and you're below average.”
“Have you been watching me?” Ness panics, but Sae just shrugs, continuing to speak as if nothing strange had happened.
“You've been tired and going out too much, the most interesting thing is that Noel Noa doesn't seem to care about your drop in performance.” Sae turns to Ness. “Something's wrong, Noa knows, but the others don't, actually, Kaiser must know, he would have interfered if he didn't know.”
“Kaiser would have interfered?”
“In the 30 minutes of conversation we had, he practically only said your name.” Alexis opened and closed her mouth trying to formulate a response, but Sae just continues. “The rest of the players just haven't realized that you're important to him because he's afraid of losing you if he shows it. Any idiot can see that he worries and gets uncomfortable when you're away, but apparently the people here are more than just idiots.” Sae massages his temples. “But tell me what's wrong.”
“Nothing's wrong.” Ness's hand was still on his stomach, and only now had Sae noticed.
Itoshi seemed to be solving a great mystery in his mind, his distant gaze giving way to furrowed brows. Ness was in his pajamas, as he didn't expect anyone to enter the room, which allowed Sae to see the outline of his body better. Before the German could even think, Sae had already scanned the entire room with his eyes, matching what he saw (belongings of both Ness and Kaiser, a calendar with the dates of appointments, an ultrasound photo, and a trans flag sticker in a notebook) with the symptoms, the conclusion making his distant eyes stare at Ness in shock.
“Yes, I'm pregnant.” Ness preferred the words to come from his mouth rather than Sae's.
“Is this good news or bad news?” Sae turns back to face forward, staring blankly.
“It depends on the point of view.” Ness throws his head back on the bed behind him. “I want my baby, but my football career is over.” Sae raises an eyebrow in question. “I'll have to stop playing when I reach the middle of my second trimester, plus the whole issue of childbirth and the first few months, when I come back I won't have a chance anymore. Not to mention the whole scandal it will be when they find out I'm trans and who the father is.”
“I can't imagine Kaiser being a father, it'll be really funny.”
“Of everything I said, you only paid attention to that? And how do you know it's Kaiser?”
“You talk as if it could be anyone other than Kaiser.” Sae looks as if Ness had called him an idiot. “It was obvious it was him, people are stupid not to realize you two are in a relationship.” He rolls his eyes. “And I heard, but I don't think it's a problem. You're good, so you'll have clubs waiting for you, and the media is always making a fuss, I don't know what the big deal is.”
“Nobody sees me, I'm nothing more than Kaiser's ‘puppy’” Alexis huffs. “I don't think the clubs see me much differently. Re Al made an offer to Michael, in addition to the other offers he received, I think he would hardly have been signed by Bastard if it weren't for him.” He had a distant look.
“Will he accept?” Sae asks.
“I think so, he's not sure yet.” He gets up and goes back to the mirror. “He always wanted to go to Re Al, but this news has scrambled our lives. He thinks he won't be present enough being in Spain while I and the baby stay in Germany.” Ness wanted Kaiser to take advantage of the opportunity, but the distance, and Michael's other goals that had nothing to do with the conversation, made the decision very complicated. “Since you play for Re Al, you must have an opinion about the team and maybe some advice.”
“It's a good team.” Sae goes to Ness's side. “I think you two will get along well there.” The older man's eyes widen.
“What are you talking about? They already have you, why would they want another midfielder?”
“Football isn't played with just one midfielder, one defender, and one striker; if that were the case, we'd only have 4 players, not 11.” Sae gave a small smile, amused by Ness's confused expression. “After I talked to Kaiser, I told Luna about you. They decided to use NEL to recruit, making offers for Kaiser and Rin, for example. One midfielder is going to change teams, and I'm going to take his place, but there's another one who made very prejudiced remarks towards people in the LGBT+ community; Re Al is starting to be pressured to fire him. We're going to have a vacant spot for a midfielder, plus the club will have to clean up its image by allowing players with those attitudes.” Sae was careful with his words. “You're perfect to fill that spot, being a better midfielder than that jerk could ever dream of being, and you'll clean up the team's image. What better way to prove they disagree than by signing a trans player who's pregnant with another player's child?”
Alexis turns to Sae, who, even with some strangeness, holds the German's hand.
“This baby is the gateway to proving to everyone that you're good.” He looks at Ness's belly. “It's not that you wouldn't get the offer without it, since they already had their eye on you, but it will help you, Ness.”
“Alexis, call me Alexis.” Ness starts to cry and pulls the other into a hug. “You saved me.”
“You did everything, I just gave you a push, but Re Al was going to see you sooner or later, Alexis…” He patted Ness awkwardly on the back.
“Even so, you saw clarity in a situation I couldn't understand.” He released the hug, noticing Sae's discomfort.
“I was just looking at the situation from the outside and knew things you didn't know, besides it being easier to find solutions to other people's problems than your own.”
They continued talking, more Ness than Sae, talking about themselves as if they hadn't been "friends" for only 15 minutes. Ness didn't have to maintain a character that only followed Kaiser, and Sae didn't have the weight of being Japan's prodigy in that room. They only noticed that a lot of time had passed when the bedroom door opened.
“Lexi, are you awake…” Kaiser's words die when he sees Sae next to Ness. “What's going on?”
“Is everyone back?” Sae asks, ignoring Kaiser's confusion.
“Yes, but they're in the cafeteria.” Michael was still standing at the door.
“Great” He gets up and heads towards the door. “See you tomorrow, Alexis.”
“See you tomorrow, Sae!” Ness shouts and Sae leaves.
“Is everything alright?” The striker locks the door and approaches his boyfriend.
“Everything's great, Micha!” He throws himself into the taller man's arms with a big smile on his face. “Everything's wonderful!”
Kaiser thought Ness had finally gone completely crazy.
Ness thought Sae wouldn't want the other players to see them together, so he didn't get his hopes up. He realized he was wrong when, the next day, while having breakfast and dealing with his daily migraine, Sae nudged Ness's shoulder.
"You should eat more," Sae said casually.
"Why are you here?" Ness asked quietly.
"I can see from a mile away that you're feeling unwell, so I came to order you to change tables." He nodded toward another empty table.
The teams sat together; it wasn't a rule, just a custom. There were people who sat alone at the empty tables, but Ness stopped doing that when he extended his contract to try and get closer to the team.
"Order?" Ness laughed at his choice of words.
"Yeah." Sae went to the table, and Alexis followed.
The questions lingered in the other players' minds.
“I think Ness has found a new ‘king’.” Isagi comments, and others laugh.
“Go fuck yourself.” Kaiser is content to say, but he wanted to smile because Ness had finally made a “friend.”
“Don't you care about the comments we'll get from sitting together?” Ness asked Sae quietly.
“No.” He ate his food as if nothing was happening. “You should worry more about football than other people's lives.”
“Your brother looks like he wants to kill me.” Rin stared intently at Ness, a look similar to the one from the PXG vs. Bastard match.
“He'll survive.”