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George walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the lobg face?” George neighs. The bartender say “Wait a minute! Why ios there a horse in my bar!” George replies, “I’m so hungry I could eat a…” “horse?” “no….a human.”
As the bartender reels in shock from what he’s just heard, a bright light beams from above. The building begins to shake. What’s gfoung on?????!!!!! As the light fades, a figure descenmds from the sky. Tall, lesbian cut, sexy, sexy man… the esteemed Hannibal.Lector….? Could this be? He’s a myuth! Everyone stands in shock– disbelief– the legends never died. They were true.
Hannibal’s feet meet the groyund. He fixes his tie. Everyone holds their breath. “Hello Georgeothy Found the 3. I have a proposition for you.” George swallows. “Neigh.” It’s all he can manage– his words are caught in his throat. Hannibal seems to understand nonetheless. The heavenly man smiles. “Indubitably. It appears we have similar…. Tastes.” Hannibal licks his lips. Who???? Knows what he #thinkuing. Before George can respond, he’s yanked to the side, now finding himself in a dimly lit corner table. The rest of the bar seems to have forgotten about the whole ordeal. “Greg… can I call you Greg?” “No.” “Okay, greg. You see.. We are the same, you and me. The lifekind. Perchance. We both bave,..... Strong desires… that cant quite be quenched. The Thirst.
Before Lector cam continue his monolouge, George interrupts– “Thirst as in Thirsty or thirst as in first with a lisp.. Or… do you just have a lithuannianan accent?” Hannbal doesn’t seem to react. “How rude.” He respinds simply, but there’s something sinister beneath it.
“You see… My proposition was goling to allow you into my secret horse psychiatry sessons, but I’m starting to think you’re actually a social workwr inside of a horse. I do not offer my top ten BEST reverse psychology tricks that will mak epeople THINK TWICE to…. You people.”
George founding is taken aback. He shoots ngh up from his seat, preparing to gamble his life saving’s away in protest (traunma response), there are loud, angry footsteps approaching. Suddenly, there’s a ,man standuing before the pair. “YOU HANNIBAL.” He grunts, seemingly upset. “You will.” Hannibal replies as if it were an average day. Graham furrows his brows, pointing an accusatory finger in George’s direction. “Uhhh.. Hi?” george raises an eyrbow. “He doesn’t understand you. He was lost at sea as a marine for 15 years, he no longer speaks 21th century english. You must speak top hikm as if he was a caveman.” Hannibal explains. “Oh. Uhmm. Right.”
Will looks confused. “Uhh… Me george….. Okay….?” Will lowers hus hand with a grunt. “You Gog. Me no like Gog.” Will shakes his fist in anger. The simple mention at the name nearly sends him into a rage. “What..? My Name is George.” Will’s eye’s widen. He begins to shake. Bad move, Gregory. “NO! You’re name is now Gog and you are to respond ONLY to Gog. Or else…” Hannibal swallows, lowering his voice, “Will won’t eat his Mongolian ball skin… you don’t know how he gets without his Mongolian foreskin shit and balls carefully prepared for 15 hours with a pinch of thyme on top roasted with a hungarian pig nose hair stoc ballskin…” Hannibal Shivers. Rio De Genero. Will’s about to respond with frustration in his inability to comprehend the current conversation as they hear… cheering? They all whip around to see the bar now packed and full of decorations. There’s a man rising to his feet, his seemingly partner is in tears. They e,mbrace. They’ve just gotten married.
It’s almost beautiful, people being able to find one another in sych dark times. Maybe even poetic, in a way. George chokes on his spuit. It reminds him of when him and Dream founder had first gotten engaged. Hannibal opens his mouth to be the first to congratulate, but is quickly interrupted by Will hyperventilating, followed by the graham screaming. Will flaps his arms in panic, shaking and jumping around violently. Somebody had lit a flame. Hannibal attempts to calm his long term situationship by resting a gentle yet firm hand on his shoulder.
“You Will. Will Calm. Will breathe.” Hannibal offers the support, yet will doesn’t seem to be having it. “YOU HANNIBAL” He screams, flipping every table on site. The poor waiter nearby doesn’t stand a chance as Will fiercely rips him in half. “WILL SMASH YOU. WILL KILL YOU. WILL FEED TO long term situationship.” He’s on a rampage– unstoppable. George coward in fear. Dreamy isn’t here to protect him.
The candle, now on the carpet, seems to catch more things on fire. Will responds in distress, ripping apart the newly engaged couple. “It’s his coping mechanism.” Hannibal explains. George blinks. “WHat the fuck is going on right now.” Hey man. Narraroter here. Not cool. Keep it pg dude. “Sorry king anything for you king”
Hannibal sighs. He’s overstayed his welcome, it seems. Maybe George didn’t need those private horse/social worker psychiatry sessuions after all. He holds out one hand and slowly yet smoothly approaches will. “Woah… Easy, boy…” A flicker of recognition appears in Will’s beautiful ocean blue orbs that Hannibal swears he could get lost in. Will inhales, taking a moment to collect himself. Hannibal gingerly places his arm around Will’s thin, skinny waist. He’s so tiny and smol. What a cute bean, George seems to think. Reminds him mych of himself. Will and Hannibal are slowly ascended through the roof hannibal had earlier come through as they left the burning bar behind them.
“Awhhhh.. Is it hot in here or just me..” George says to no one in particular as he turns to face the rapidly growing flames. A faint melody begins to play. Sounds a lot like “4 Impromptus, D.899 (Op. 90): No. 4 in A-Flat Major.Allegretto” By Franz Schubert, Radu Lupu. “Where are they going?” Gog asks. “The Soundcloud.” The bartender responds as he sheds a single tear. They hold each other as the flames wrap around them, screams echoing out of the building, the crackling rage of the fire. Georgina will never see his Dream (pre-allegation) again. And the bartender will never see his family again too I guess.
As Will and Hanninal depart, the only remaining memory of the event is the spleen Hannibal had pocketed. This was going to be Will’s breakfast. It’s only a fair punishment.
______ TIMESKIP ________
Hannibal and Will are now lounging at Hannibal’s mind palace. “Me burn church one time.” Will states in between bites of his Mongolian foreskin shit and balls intriquitely prepared for 15 hours with a pinch of thyme on top roasted with a hungarian pig nose hair stoc ballskin soup. “Yes.” Hannibal nods, a gentle look in his eyes. He stands to turn on the radio. “Is It Causal Now?” by Chappel Roan starts playing. As Handibal goes to switch channels to something more refined, the graham slams his hands on the table. “NO! Me like the roan.” Hannibal raises his hands in defense. “Yes, sorry.”
Was it casual when Hannibal tried to dissect Will’s brain, only to be stopped by his thick skull???
___ END SCENE ___
Rio De Jenero
Written by da boiiiiiiiisssssssss