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Ango loves his children; he truly does. They’re smart and brave, kind and curious about the world. To him, they’re perfect and there’s little he'd change about them.
Really, there are only a few things he'd change. One would be to erase every bad memory from their past, so they can sleep without nightmares plaguing them.
Another is if he could destroy that horrible, awful book Osamu always carries with him.
Mori bows, his daughter Elise sobbing next to him. It seems that when she had snack time with Osamu, her juice fell on the page of his open book and he became inconsolable. “I'm terribly sorry for Osamu-chan. Elise-chan spilled it by accident.”
Ango bows in return, holding Osamu in his arms. He’s winding down from his own crying fit and is exhausted, tiny hands still clutching the book. “Please don’t worry, I completely understand.”
He looks at Elise, who blubbers another apology, and softens his voice. “Everything is alright Elise-chan, I know you didn't mean it. I'll clean it up and it'll be good as new. Right, Osamu-chan?”
Osamu nods and sniffles. “It’s okay Elise-chan.”
Sakunosuke walks over to them, having put away his toys for the day. He waves goodbye to Elise, who waves back, eyes still red. Then Atsushi and Ryuunosuke as they all walk by the two boys, the former waving back with his tiger plush's arm and the latter blowing a reply on his whistle.
Chuuya and Doppo argue about (what Ango assumes) a cartoon that all the children currently watch, interrupt themselves to say goodbye, then resume arguing. Finally, Sakunosuke waves at Akiko and Naomi, who are busy using a toy stethoscope on a doll. Junichiro is pouting to the side but he waves back.
They leave the school building and make their way home, Ango holding Osamu with one arm and Sakunosuke's hand with the other.
It's no one's fault, but Ango is seething. The progress they made with separating Osamu from that book has been ruined. He wishes he could just throw it in the ocean and be rid of its cursed existence once and for all. But he knows how foolish that would be. Awful as his parents may be, they’re still his parents and he still treasures their final gift to him.
The book in question is innocuous; red and white, with text on the front cover that reads The Complete Manual of Suicide. Now why would a then four-year-old child be gifted such a morbid thing?
Osamu cries again when one of the gold star stickers refuses to stay on the page. It seems that the juice ruined its adhesive. “Mommy and daddy are gonna be mad at me,” he sobs.
Ango wraps his arms around the boy, rubbing his back. “No they won't. We'll fix it right up and they'll never find out. Alright?”
They won't find out because they're currently in prison. But Osamu doesn't need to know that; he thinks they “went away” for a bit after doing bad things.
Ango cooks dinner, hamburger steak with egg and rice, as they wait for the page to dry. After they all eat and sit in the living room together, he pulls a new sticker from a sheet set and places it next to a sentence describing a suicide method in detail.
Osamu gasps and cheers. “Now I'm a good boy again.”
Ango ruffles his hair, holding back a wave of nausea. “You're always a good boy. Just like Saku-chan.”
Sakunosuke, who’s been sitting in Ango's lap reading his curry book again, looks up at them. “Osamu-chan is a good boy.”
Osamu holds his face in his hands, much happier. Ango kisses Sakunosuke on the forehead. “Thank you for saying that.”
Ango will just have to be patient. Osamu needs him to be strong and steady as he heals.
Osamu-chan’s birthday is coming up and Sakunosuke still doesn't know what to get him.
It's been one whole year since they started living with Ango-san, and he loves them both very much. Ango-san says not to worry, that he’ll buy a nice gift from both of them.
But Sakunosuke wants to give him something too. Something to cheer him up and make him happy. He loves when Osamu-chan is happy. His eyes get all sparkly, and he hides his face in his hands.
So he decides to ask his friends at school during playtime. They can help him with some ideas, he's sure. And Osamu-chan has a cold, so he’s at home and won’t have his surprise messed up.
“I, um, I think you should give him a hug and kiss.” Atsushi-chan holds his tiger plush, Tora-san, in front of his face as he talks.
Ryuu-chan hugs his black plushie, Rashomon, closer and whistles his answer. He’s learning sign language since he doesn’t speak, but he likes his whistle more.
Atsushi-chan gets all pale. “No…That’s so scary!”
Sakunosuke nods. Osamu-chan does like his book a lot, even if Ango-san doesn’t. “I’ll try drawing a picture then.”
Ryuu-chan nods back, then throws Rashomon at Atsushi-chan.
Sakunosuke leaves after that, knowing Atsushi-chan will throw Tora-san back. Before he draws, he’ll ask more friends for help.
Chuuya-chan is playing with blocks, stacking them so high he has to stand on tippy-toes. “Saku-chan hi! When’s Osamu-chan coming back?” His voice is very loud but he’s used to it.
“He’s sick. What should I get for his birthday?” Then he tells him what their other friends said.
“You should get him a ball! Then we can play football together afterschool!” Chuuya-chan accidentally hits his block tower, and it falls down with a loud noise. “Oops.”
“Thank you.” That’s a good idea too, but only after Osamu-chan heals and stops wearing so many bandages.
Next, he finds Akiko-chan with Naomi-chan and Jun-chan. Lots of kids are scared of Akiko-chan, but Saku-chan likes her a lot. She’s really funny.
“I like the picture idea! Make sure to draw lots of blood and stuff,” Akiko-chan says. She’s doing “surgery” on her stuffed bear with the plastic chopsticks and spoon from the playhouse set.
“That’s scary, right Nii-chan?” Naomi-chan isn’t mad at Jun-chan anymore, so she’s clinging to his arm again.
Jun-chan doesn’t answer her, probably because he’s scared of Akiko-chan. “You should ask Doppo-chan, though. Or Ranpo-chan. He’s really smart!”
Doppo-chan is at a table writing a list of things he likes in his favorite green book. “Hm. Maybe you can make a whole book for him, filled with pictures. He likes to read a lot of picture books.”
Elise is sitting at the same table with her teddy bear next to her, pretending to have a tea party. “A book is really nice. You can put heart and star stickers on the cover, so it’s nice and pretty. Osamu-chan likes pretty things.”
Ranpo-chan isn’t here today. Sakunosuke’ll ask him tomorrow, since Ranpo-chan has the best ideas. But he has to give him a piece of candy first.
First, he’ll try to draw a picture. He thinks about what parts of Osamu-chan’s book he likes best. Akiko-chan said to draw blood, but there’s one sentence that Osamu-chan reads most. Something about hanging by a rope?
Sakunosuke sits at a table and draws Osamu-chan. Then he draws a brown circle around his neck, and a long line from the circle. But he doesn’t know what else to draw. Maybe Ozaki-sensei knows! She’s watching their class today for playtime, since Mori-sensei is busy.
Ozaki-sensei comes over when Sakunosuke raises his hand, a smile on her pretty face. “Hello there. Do you need some help?”
“Yeah.” He tells her about Osamu-chan’s birthday. “But I don’t know how to draw a ‘hanging.’ Can you help me?”
“A ‘hanging’?” She looks at the picture. “Saku-chan. That’s a very…nice picture.”
“Thank you. I hope Osamu-chan likes it.”
“He would like anything you drew for him. Can you come with me to my desk?”
He nods and she holds his hand as they walk over. Her voice is soft, and she’s very nice. She tells him that he can’t draw that for Osamu-chan, because it might upset him. And that Ango-san will tell him more later.
After school, Ozaki-sensei whispers to Ango-san and he whispers back, face very serious looking.
Ango-san holds his hand on the way back, asking him about his day at school. Sakunosuke is happy to tell him about his friends and what he learned in class today. Ango-san hums and smiles, sometimes asking more questions.
When they get home, Osamu-chan is sleeping in their bed, holding his plush fox. Tsuji-san is sitting next to him in a chair. She waves hello with her whole arm.
Sakunosuke waves back. She’s really nice and pretty, he’s happy she’s here.
“Thank you once again, Tsujimura-kun. I truly appreciate you watching Osamu-chan for me.”
She smiles and shakes her head. “It’s no problem at all. I love these little guys.”
“We’ll be right back then. And I’ll see to a proper bonus for you.”
Sakunosuke climbs up the bed and kisses Osamu-chan on the forehead. Ango-san gives him one too. Then he brings Sakunosuke to the living room and sits them both on the couch.
“Am I in trouble?”
Ango-san ruffles his hair and he leans into it. It feels nice. “You’re definitely not. I just wanted to talk with you. I think your idea of drawing a picture for Osamu-chan is wonderful. Maybe you could draw something nice, like a day at the park.”
“But doesn’t he like his book? How come I can’t draw a ‘hanging’ from that?”
“He does like it. But sometimes, we like things that hurt us. And that book, and what it represents, hurt him a lot.”
“How come?”
Ango-san shakes his head. “His parents hurt him using that book. But because he loves his parents, he loves the book they gave him.”
Sakunosuke thinks about this. It’s hard to get at first, but he remembers how much Osamu-chan cried because of it, and how it made him feel. “The book makes Osamu-chan sad. I don’t like that.”
“Me neither, Saku-chan. So we both have to be careful. We can help him by being nice about it, but we also have to help him not think about it too much.” Ango-san smiles at him. “Can you help me with that?”
Sakunosuke nods. He’ll protect Osamu-chan. “Yeah.”
The next day, Ranpo-chan is back so Sakunosuke asks him about gift ideas during playtime. Ranpo-chan holds out a hand and he gives him a piece of Hi-Chew. “Ooo, ramune flavored, my favorite!” He crosses his arms and nods. “You get a lot for that one.”
“What should I get for Osamu-chan’s birthday?”
“That’s easy. Make him a book!”
“Oh, that’s what Doppo-chan said.”
Ranpo-chan tsks, wagging his finger like adults do. “Yeah but not that kind of book. I’ll be nice and give you a big clue. You need to think about all the good times with Osamu-chan.”
All the good times?
Mori-sensei is back again, so Sakunosuke asks him how to make a book with pictures. “It’s for Osamu-chan’s birthday.”
“That’s perfect timing. I’ll be teaching how to make books during arts and crafts soon, so you’ll have time to draw some nice pictures. And not the one Ozaki-sensei talked to you about yesterday, okay?”
“Okay.” Sakunosuke won’t make Osamu-chan sad. He’ll draw happy pictures of the good times. And maybe…he’ll like it so much that he won’t look at the other book anymore!
But a book has lots of pictures in it. It’ll be really hard to draw so many of them; he’ll definitely need help. So Sakunosuke goes around, asking everyone to draw one picture with Osamu-chan. And then he sits at a table and works hard on his own pictures.
Thankfully, Osamu recovers from his cold before his birthday. He’s still not used to being around so many people at school, so Ango ensures his celebration is a simple affair. He’s also forced to let Osamu carry around that dreadful book with him, unwilling to upset him on his special day.
Ango makes his favorite dishes: cream crab croquettes, and crab meat rice cooked in a special sauce with a soft-boiled egg. He still struggles with cooking at times, as before the children he often ate pre-packaged meals. But it’s worth the effort several times over when Osamu’s eyes light up when he takes a bite of each dish and his tiny voice thanking him for the meal.
He also buys a small strawberry shortcake for them all to share. Somehow, Osamu’s shining eye illuminated by the candlelight as he blows out the candles is even more precious. He’s not ashamed to admit his phone now features several dozen pictures of the entire affair (and that Tsujimura will be receiving them as well).
After they finish eating, presents are the last order of business before they all watch a movie of Osamu’s choice. Ango gifts him a soft modeling clay set and a stuffed frog plush to go with his fox.
Osamu gets up and hugs Ango. “Thank you Ango-san. I love it.”
“You’re very welcome, Osamu-chan,” Ango replies, fighting back tears at his open show of affection.
Ango gives him Tsujimura’s gift next, a 96 crayon set with plenty of construction paper to draw on. Osamu and Sakunosuke both gasp at all the crayon colors.
“Make sure to thank Tsujimura-kun when you see her again.” Judging from Osamu’s face, she’ll be receiving a hug from him as well.
Sakunosuke stands up and approaches Osamu. “First gift.” Then he kisses him on the forehead and hugs him. Osamu returns the hug, then hides his face in his hands and shimmies around.
“T-thank you.”
“Welcome. Second gift.” And he looks at Ango, who nods and heads to open the hallway closet. On the highest shelf is a rectangular-shaped lump, clearly wrapped by a five-year-old. Sakunosuke wouldn’t even let him help wrap it, only asking for help hiding it.
Ango hands over the gift, and Sakunosuke carefully holds it, giving it to Osamu. “Here. Me and our friends made it for you.”
Osamu sits down on the floor and very slowly unwraps the paper, trying his hardest to avoid tearing it. Ango waits, wanting to assist but knowing this is something he prefers to do on his own.
When he’s finished, he holds up what turns out to be a simple hand-sewn book, the pages and cover bound by thick yarn. The cover is decorated with star and heart stickers, most likely donated by the other children. And in very carefully written hiragana is Osamu-chan’s Special Book.
“We all drew pictures for you, and then Mori-sensei showed us how to make a book,” Sakunosuke says, as he and Ango watch Osamu look through all the pictures. He can guess which child drew what, based on what it shows and who’s in it.
Atsushi drew him and Osamu happy together with a picture book with a tiger on it. Ryuunosuke drew him and Osamu smiling as his plushie is hitting a bad guy, and there are of course red crayon lines for blood. Akiko drew herself “operating” on a smiling Osamu and there’s a lot of red for blood too. He holds back a sigh, knowing the two children are just like that. Not to mention Osamu thinks the art is nice, judging from his giggles.
Junichiro and Naomi worked on a picture together, with each of them on either side of Osamu and all of them waving. Chuuya drew him, Osamu, and Sakunosuke kicking around a football. Doppo drew them both practicing their writing together. And Elise drew them playing dress up while drinking tea.
The rest of the pages are filled with pictures from Sakunosuke, and Ango recognizes them as times they spent together. Making origami, going to the park, the movies, the beach, the time Tsujimura showed them how to make a blanket fort, when they had their friends over for playtime, and so on.
It’s a truly incredible present, one that clearly took time and effort. Not only from Sakunosuke, who managed to organize all of this, but from their friends as well for contributing. “What a lovely, thoughtful gift you and everyone made for Osamu-chan. Osamu-chan, what do we say?”
Osamu closes the book and gives it a kiss, then puts it down gently. He stands and tackles Sakunosuke in a tight hug that shocks even Ango. “I love you Saku-chan.”
Sakunosuke is just as shocked but he smiles a tiny smile and hugs him back just as tight. Once they part, Osamu looks over to the suicide book and picks it up, then walks over to Ango and holds it out. “Here.”
Ango is completely floored but he forces himself to take it from him. “Are…you giving me this book?”
“Yes.”
He doesn’t dare to hope but… “You don’t want it anymore?”
“No. I have that book.”
“And what about mommy and daddy?” He despises questioning him, but has to make sure. He doesn’t want Osamu to be upset later on.
But Osamu smiles. “I’ll show them my special book! Saku-chan and my friends made it for me. It’s my favorite book.”
Ango can’t hold back his tears. So instead, he sweeps both his boys up in a hug. “I love you both so much.” The hugs they return with are all the answer he needs.