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Kim Dokja didn't know how he ended up facing a dragon. Kim Dokja didn't want to know. He didn't remember anything after that night at the pub, only that he woke up in the middle of a forest with a request from the adventurer's guild slapped to his back and a broken sword on his belt.
And so Kim Dokja was to rescue a princess. Well, the guild request said she was a princess. By the looks of her, Kim Dokja thought she didn't look like a princess at all. There was a word to describe her but Kim Dokja thought it would be less than pleasant to say.
And the request paper itself really was highly unreliable. It was submitted by a duke by the name of Gong Pildu of a very far away kingdom who must have been lied to in that low rank adventurers could complete such a task.
Kim Dokja thought it was unreasonable to the highest degree. It didn't even pay that well and he wouldn't even get to keep the girl at the end like in the old stories.
Not that he wanted to keep the girl, as she looked closer to a child than a woman. Besides, Kim Dokja was much too tired to think of romantic nonsense.
Not to mention the headache that felt like it would rip him in two. Really, how much did he drink last night? He didn't know. He didn't want to know. He wanted to go back to his house and read his favorite novel. A novel penned by a mysterious author that updated magically in the night. That novel.
His lifeline. He wanted desperately to get back to it but he knew that the story was almost over anyway and maybe, just maybe, getting out of the house would be good for him.
He didn't want it like his, though. He was now stuck on a quest in the middle of a forest with no real way of finding his way home until he finished the quest because if he didn't do the quest his friend Bihyung —no doubt the one who put him up to this— would laugh him out of town and he actually quite liked living in a relatively social environment. For the sake of being able to leave his own home to buy groceries without getting scoffed at, he would go.
So he had to go. There were basic coordinates scrawled onto the scrap of paper so at least he knew whereabouts he would be headed..
East. It was east. The light of dawn shone through the trees and Kim Dokja realized that dew had settled on him in the night giving him the appearance of an overgrown wet rat.
His white coat —his trademark as an adventurer— was thankfully not stained by the dirt any more than it usually was and he was grateful for his trusty —albeit broken— sword at his belt.
"So be it," he said to no one in particular. The trees whispered back in anger at his being so loud so early in the morning but Kim Dokja had neither eyes nor ears for the feelings of the trees. The trees thought he was a lonely git. Kim Dokja did not notice the trees' poor opinions of him and instead began stomping through the forest with not nearly enough caution.
He was like that, really. Never quite cautious enough. Every so often he would get himself in such danger that Bihyung would have to rescue him, even. Maybe this is his method of finally being rid of me, Kim Dokja mused sadly to himself.
Indeed, it would seem to be the case. But Bihyung really had sent him on this quest with no bad feelings... Just a thirst for entertainment. Besides, Kim Dokja had the constitution of a cockroach. Bihyung thought there was simply no way it could possibly go wrong.
Oh but the trees would sing their song of mockery and laughter at every turn in this journey as Kim Dokja angrily crashed through their territory like a very angry ferret. He didn't do much damage but his bad attitude was more than enough for the trees to turn on him.
Of course, he didn't know that the trees were angry. He was practically deaf to the sounds around him as he muttered under his breath about the unfairness of it all.
"Excuse me?"
Kim Dokja did not stop at the voice, he didn't even look. He just kept swinging his broken sword at the vines in his way until they snapped not because he cut them but because the vines pitied him enough to let him pass.
"Excuse me, sir?"
For a moment there Kim Dokja thought that he was possibly aware of a voice similar to that of the sunset's. Kim Dokja didn't know that the sunset had a voice, but if it did, he imagined it to be something like the voice he thought he could have possibly maybe just heard. He didn't know, though. Currently he was reciting chapter forty nine of his favorite novel in his head.
"Ahjussi?"
The voice that was as beautiful as a golden dawn stopped Kim Dokja in his tracks. He turned on the spot, very slowly and dramatically. "Did you just call me ahjussi??"
He immediately regretted his tone when his eyes fell on the speaker. She was divine. It was the only way to describe her. Of all the women in the world Kim Dokja was immediately certain there never has nor ever will be a soul quite as beautiful and kind as the one before him.
He even stopped thinking about that novel for a whole minute as he gazed at her.
She really was strikingly beautiful. If she had been a temptress Kim Dokja may have found himself falling for her. But he had more restraint than that and soon the words of his novel began filling his head again as he studied her.
She was relatively tall for a woman, with long brown hair and eyes that seemed to shine golden. A thin band of laurels rested on her brow and her clothes were that of a shrine maiden's. Modestly beautiful, humble yet stunning. Not to be gazed at too long. Kim Dokja, being the wet rat that he is, averted his gaze to the forest floor.
A woods nymph. He thought, stealing another glance. She would surely be older than him, and yet she dared to call him "ahjussi".
He cleared his throat several times and stood up to his full height. "What be it, my fair maiden?" He asked, mustering all of his dramatics to properly please the spirit before him. He knew as any good man with more than a gram of brains that woods nymphs were to be treated with care and always obeyed.
Plus, it would be extremely hard to say no to that face. She was as radiant as the sun. Kim Dokja even found himself drying slightly in her presence. His face felt warm as she smiled at him and he gripped the tree next to him lest he fall over from the magnificence of it.
"Please mind the noise this early in the morning," the nymph said with incredible patience and grace and just about every quality Kim Dokja ever lacked. "You have been disturbing the trees."
Kim Dokja squinted up at the canopy. "Really?"
"Indeed," the nymph hummed. "So if you would—"
"Ah!" Kim Dokja exclaimed with very little tact which made the nymph wince as the trees began to complain loudly to her to just get rid of him. She was the spokesperson for the trees and the trees were starting to gather an army and get a restraining order on the man before them so he would never enter the forest ever again.
The nymph whom they called Yoo Sangah sighed a little to herself as she realized she would have to explain a lot to the trees so that they would suffer Kim Dokja to live. She could read the hearts of men, and she knew that while this one was blind and less than considerate, he was at least better than the ones that looked on her as if she were a treasure to possess or a pleasure to indulge in.
In the grand scheme of things this man before her was actually one of the better men she ever encountered. Which said a lot. It said too much, really. The trees all chanted "Justice for our queen Yoo Sangah!" in unison as she waited patiently for Kim Dokja's remaining brain cells to rub together enough to finish the thought that had occured to him so loudly just a moment ago.
"Ah?" He asked, looking up at the trees with a confused expression before the train of thought (which was presumed missing) had seemingly finally arrived. "Whereabouts is the nearest castle? I have business there." He handed the nymph his flyer and she read it with a bemused expression.
The trees began clamoring and screaming at her to do all sorts of horrid things to him such as pointing him in the right direction. Yoo Sangah, being an extremely honest nymph, did not want to lie in this case. She too thought it might be amusing to watch. Which is an extremely valid opinion, as are all of her opinions as the most wonderful person on the planet.
"Why, you would be better off going eastwards for a start," she said kindly, pointing in the exact opposite direction of where Kim Dokja had been previously going.
Kim Dokja blinked several times before hurriedly covering up his mistake. "Ah, yes. I knew where I was going," he said. You know, like a liar.
"Hrmm.. then you'll need to cross the river as well, there should be a bridge somewhere along it," she added thoughtfully. Kim Dokja nodded seriously as the beautiful woman spoke, determined now to carve her words into the wall of his head.
If the words couldn't get past the wall, they may as well be written on it.
"Are there any more things I should watch out for?" Kim Dokja asked, his mind already nearly filled with about as much non-book-related-information as he could possibly bear.
The trees screamed at Yoo Sangah to tell him to do some very rude things but Yoo Sangah just smiled and tried her best for shut out those voices. After a while they realized the things they were trying to get Yoo Sangah to say and they started to apologize.
"No, there shouldn't be any more problems." Kim Dokja smiled at her response.
"Well thank you my good lady!" Kim Dokja set off again in the right direction without a second thought. No, his head was filled with the cinnamon and pine scented memory of Yoo Sangah.
He then promptly walked right into a tree. He got a whole nose full of pine and stumbled backwards, spluttering a little before handily cutting down the tree with his sword because it irritated him.
Kim Dokja was a strange man in that, in spite of everything going against him, he managed to pull through when you least expected him to.
He drove Bihyung absolutely nuts with all the schemes to make money and all the times he performed at the tavern. He always ended up exceeding expectations. Even though he looked a little bit like a wet rat, and wasn't even that strong, he managed to find a way.
And that made the universe very angry.
And so as he approached the river towards the east, still stomping a little bit through the forest in his annoyance, the universe sent its next challenge.
"Oi! Ahjussi!!"
A vein began to bulge on Kim Dokja's forehead and he turned to look behind him to find a pixie hovering there.
The pixie was a young boy with insectoid wings and his arms were crossed in annoyance.
"And what can I do for you?" Kim Dokja asked wearily. "You see, I'm in a bit of a hurry." I need to get home and read more or I will die.
"Hah! You fool! You moron of a mortal!!" The pixie began to rant dramatically and Kim Dokja leaned against his sword to watch. He knew better than to irritate a pixie. Especially this one. He didn't know if he accidentally ran into the "King of Insects" himself or if it was just an underling but he didn't want every bug in the forest chasing him until the end of time so he would watch.
"What do you want again?" He asked and the pixie, who was indeed the King of Insects Lee Gilyoung, stopped and watched Kim Dokja for a while.
He seemed to be gauging Kim Dokja's strength and he felt a little flustered under the pixie's gaze.
"Are you some kind of main character or something?" The pixie asked, glancing between the sword Kim Dokja was leaning on and his ugly face.
Kim Dokja noticed the pixie's curiosity and thought about leading him on for a moment before shaking his head. "I am but an adventurer on a quest. A quest to save a princess!" He showed the pixie the request dramatically and the pixie immediately recognized what the request was.
The pixie knew full and well what Kim Dokja would have to face on this road that wasn't really a road but more of a vaguely marked trail, but decided not to tell him anything.
"If you must continue on this path I will give you one warning," Lee Gilyoung started, suddenly seriously. "The Queen of Beasts may be lying in wait for you. You mustn't trust her."
Of course, this wasn't true in the slightest. Neither the King of Insects Lee Gilyoung nor the Queen of Beasts Shin Yoosung were necessarily against Kim Dokja's quest. In fact, they would both encourage it because it would be a laugh to watch him go on this journey.
No, Lee Gilyoung was saying this because he disliked Shin Yoosung on account of her getting all of the attention. In his mind, he saw beasts as much lesser than insects, and thought therefore that all the attention she was getting for being the ruler of beasts was unfair.
Of course, he was entirely right. They were both equals, really. But they would always fight over the one who came into their (shared!) territory. They were like a couple of children. Which, in a way, they absolutely were.
Kim Dokja knew none of this nor did he want to know. He wanted to go home.
It was midmorning now and he wanted to get the quest over with so he could finally get back to his book. He had stopped reading right before the epilogue chapter and desperately wanted to read it.
But no, here he was trudging through the forest that absolutely no one wanted to go through for the sake of a request of a guy he'd never even heard of.
Kim Dokja couldn't help feeling that this whole scenario was unfair, but, he was used to such unfairness by now.
He decided he would continue on despite the King of Insects' warnings, and Lee Gilyoung watched from a distance next to Yoo Sangah.
"Do you think he'll make it?" He asked her, much more respectfully than how he spoke to Kim Dokja.
Yoo Sangah considered his words with a hum before answering. "I think he can."
Lee Gilyoung scoffed before eyeing the bucket of popped corn held in the wood nymph's hands. She wordlessly offered him some and they both continued to watch the quest of the sad little pathetic rat man.
And so said sad little pathetic rat man continued on his sad little pathetic rat journey, still miraculously heading eastwards.
It really was a miracle he made it a full mile from where he started. Kim Dokja had the same sense of direction as a well-known green haired swordsman, which is to say, he could get lost standing still.
And as he followed this relatively right direction on this road that isn't really a road at all but rather a vague feeling and a prayer, he continued to think about the only thing that consumed his mind.
That book. It was long, and depressing, but it gave meaning to Kim Dokja's life in a way that no quest or adventure could. Also, the main character was attractive.
Kim Dokja imagined the main character to be sort of like a dragon; strong and ruthless. An all powerful being that no one could cross. And also, very selfish. He hoarded his companions, and was selfish about how he acted with other characters. Arrogant, and brave. A little foolish, and difficult to reason with. Dragon material.
Kim Dokja sighed like a thirteen year old girl at the idea of going back home and reading that novel again.
"Excuse me, mister?"
[A wild person has appeared!]
[Kim Dokja has used avoid!!]
Kim Dokja began walking in a different direction, ignoring the voice because he knew that he would just get stopped up again if he had a conversation. Besides, this voice sounded vaguely like a brownie and he didn't want to deal with another one of those.
Brownies were a kind of fairy, typically found in the countryside near farms. They would do a little work if you gave them some milk. Maybe they'd clean your shoes or reorganize your shelf. But if you knew they were there and didn't offer them anything, they would destroy you and you'd basically have to move out. That's not your house anymore, that's the Brownies' house now. And there's nothing that you can do to stop it.
[It isn't very effective...]
Sadly for Kim Dokja, this brownie was persistent.
"Excuse me, ahjussi?"
Kim Dokja sighed and wiped a tear from his eye. "How many times has it been today now?" He mourned quietly as he turned to the direction of the voice. "Yes?"
Standing there on a branch was a very small brownie, possibly a child, even. She had a western look about her and was smiling shyly up at him. "Could you spare me something to eat?" She asked and Kim Dokja felt his heartstrings being pulled.
He would have given her something anyway, mostly because the last thing he wanted was for a hoard of brownies to invade his property. Again. It would be the fourth time.
..He kept forgetting to put milk out, okay??
He dug into his pockets for something to offer the little lady, whom he hadn't realized was in fact the Queen of Beasts Shin Yoosung, and found a single hard boiled egg in his pocket.
...How had it gotten there?? Must have been Bihyung again. He was always doing things like this..
He quietly held the egg in his hand and offered it to Shin Yoosung, who took it gratefully and started gnawing on the top of it like a squirrel would if a squirrel was much smaller and ate eggs. Which led Kim Dokja to wonder: Do squirrels eat eggs? Surely they're an available resource, as eggs are typically found in trees where squirrels are also found. Squirrels don't come from eggs either so I suppose it wouldn't be strange if they ate eggs.
He spared a glance at Shin Yoosung again and shook his head. Surely they wouldn't eat hard boiled eggs, though.
Indeed, surely they wouldn't. Kim Dokja's whole train of thought left the station at nonsense and circled back around to ridiculousness.
"Ahem, for your gracious gift," Shin Yoosung started, wiping a tiny piece of egg from her mouth (where had the rest of it gone?? Where did the egg go???). "I will tell you one of the dangers of the road ahead!"
Kim Dokja glanced at the "road" which really, really wasn't really a road and nodded. "Please tell me," he said kindly, as if to a daughter. In the end, he did have a soft spot for children —no matter how much he calls it his own hypocrisy.
It had something to do with his upbringing, surely. Having never encountered a decent adult in his early life, he was determined to —at least in front of children— put on a good show of pretending to be a good adult. More often than not, however, he failed miserably at it. You see, Kim Dokja was not a good example when it came to things like self esteem or self preservation, and it made some parents angry when he tried to teach their kids a kind lesson while covered in his own blood.
"Well," the young Queen of Beasts Shin Yoosung started with a smile that was somewhat admiring and somewhat exasperated. "On the road ahead, you will face many beasts! Beware the two mysterious knights...and..." she hesitated as if she wasn't sure whether or not she was supposed to say something.
"And..?" Shin Yoosung was still conflicted and Kim Dokja eventually waved her off. "Don't worry about it. I'm, I'm sure I'll find out along the way," he finished with a shudder. "Thanks anyways."
Shin Yoosung hesitated with the kind of hesitation that a child debating whether or not to tell someone an important secret had, but like the others decided it would be much better to simply watch. She smiled at Kim Dokja, and waved as he walked away.
He was going in the wrong direction again, but none of the onlookers dared to set him on the right path now as that would be quite cruel to everyone involved.
No, instead Kim Dokja continued to wander right out of the forest and into a large plain by midday. He didn't know how he ended up there, and the sun did not tell him where he was going anymore, but he didn't really care as long as he found something to kill and eat.
Luckily, there seemed to be a large beast nearby. Kim Dokja was much less afraid of the beasts than the rulers of the forest, because beasts you didn't have to reason with. And mostly because Kim Dokja's reasoning was often vaguely flawed in some way or another.
So dealing with a beast that he didn't have to worry about was much easier. And, by the looks of it, this beast was a bear. Kim Dokja was neither here nor there on the subject of bears. He'd heard that many hikers —particularly little old men and women with little dinner bells on their person—had gone missing because of bears. This one however, in spite of it's size, seemed to be incredibly docile.
That is because it was not a bear, but a man. Kim Dokja, disappointed that he hadn't actually found his lunch, put away his sword and cleared his throat.
"Excuse me?" The bear of a man looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Oh, good sir!" The man had tears in his eyes. "Would you help me find my wife?"
Kim Dokja was taken aback by this. Very rarely had he seen a man crying after his wife, after all. "Ahem.. would she be found in those bushes?"
The man looked back to the bushes he was crouching next to and shook his head. "Why, I don't know where she is!"
"..You're quite sure she hasn't left you?"
The man shook his head. "Oh no, she wouldn't have.."
"It's just, women like men who are more confident," Kim Dokja said with quite a lot of hesitation and little to no confidence. "No offense to you, but you don't seem the type to be able to keep a wife."
The bear like man was closer to a teddy in disposition in spite of his size. Kim Dokja, who hadn't actually paid too much attention to the couples around him, could never imagine this man before him in a long lasting relationship.
And that was because Kim Dokja, twenty-nine years old, single, had never actually dated anyone. Mostly because he lacked redeemable qualities like a steady job and an attention span that wasn't devoted solely to a single novel.
The only things he knows about human relationships are what he's read in that novel of his, and that novel is about a man who went around killing people and while once he did have a wife in the story, he ended up killing her in other "rounds" of the story.
So, yeah. Kim Dokja had very little faith in humanity, and even less experience with what an actual relationship is supposed to look like.
"Oh please, sir would you help me find my wife?"
Kim Dokja sighed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Realistically, he would like to find lunch first, or at least finish his quest or something. This was the kind of side quest that would cause trouble for him later, he was sure of it.
Of course, trouble was practically his middle name or some sort of relatively distant cousin that kept begging him for money every chance it got. So he made his decision.
And this decision, while a little out of the way, would actually benefit him in the end. You'll see.
"Do you have any food on you?" But, Kim Dokja being Kim Dokja, decided to shake the poor man down for food before offering his help.
The man, who Kim Dokja recognized to be a soldier of some sort, rustled around his person until he found a small parcel and offered it to Kim Dokja. It was simple military rations. Kim Dokja sighed a little in his heart.
He didn't like military rations, mostly because of his military history. He had no good memories of his time of service, but he was at least grateful for the food.
"Thank you, Mr....?"
"Lee, Lee Hyunsung," Lee Hyunsung said with a kind smile. Kim Dokja took another bite and hummed a little in contemplation.
"Alright, I'll help you." Within the next moment, Lee Hyunsung grabbed both of Kim Dokja's hands in his own and held them with sparkling tears in his eyes.
"You will?"
"Yeah, I will," he replied, pushing Lee Hyunsung's hands away. He didn't really mind Lee Hyunsung's enthusiasm, although he did find it to be much too early in the morning for such energy. And, as Kim Dokja's energy had already been sapped by three prior conversations, he was growing weary of the whole business already.
Just let me finish the quest and go home to my book, he mourned as he chewed on a tough piece of bread. All I want is my book.. Is it too much to ask for?
As far as the universe at large was concerned, yes this was too much to ask for. But Kim Dokja didn't know that. He thought that normal people also suffered this kind of thing on a daily basis, which is why he spends a lot of his time alone at home away from people so he doesn't cause a bother and so they don't bother him, either.
"We can get going when you're done eating. Oh, I really can't thank you enough," Lee Hyunsung gushed. Kim Dokja silently waved him off and started reciting one of his favorite passages of the novel in his mind to keep himself calm while he thought about what he could possibly do for this man.
Lee Hyunsung said he was missing his wife, but where was this wife?? More importantly, who was this wife of his? How did Lee Hyunsung get lost, anyway? It was pretty clear that he was the lost one and not the other after all. Oh well, he thought. I suppose I just have to hope we find her along the way.
And so when he was done mooching off of Lee Hyunsung's rations, they set off over the plains.
"Sir, may I ask what your business is around these parts?" Lee Hyunsung asked cheerfully, clearly happy to have the company.
"Oh I'm afraid I'm just passing through," Kim Dokja replied airily. "On a quest to find a princess, the usual."
"You must be a very brave man indeed!" Lee Hyunsung's eyes were shining with admiration and Kim Dokja already felt himself slowly drifting from the conversation. "It's funny you mention a royal, my wife is actually the head royal guard for the queen of the nearby castle.."
Kim Dokja heard none of this, he was busy looking at a bird and comparing it to the description of a bird in that novel he so adored. The results of this comparison were inconclusive.
"Sorry?" Kim Dokja said after a while, still not intent on listening to what his companion said but wanting to do the nice man the courtesy of at least appearing interested.
"I was saying how it was a classic story, you know. Man meets woman, woman goes crazy and sets everything on fire, man saves woman, man turns into sword, woman carries man, man and woman get married, it really is a classic story."
"...And that's how you met your wife?" Kim Dokja was starting to get invested now that he heard the story. You see, this was strangely similar to a plotline in his favorite novel. "That really is a classic story!"
"Isn't it just?" Lee Hyunsung said dreamily. "We're still going strong, you know. She outranks me but I love her."
Kim Dokja blanched a little at the word "love" which is something he never once experienced and had basically given up on a long time ago. That's the problem with being pathetic, really.
They continued to walk over the glade, Lee Hyunsung still desperately searching for his wife and Kim Dokja slowly trying to figure out where he was in relation to that castle again. It was a little past noon, so theoretically the sun was supposed to be helpful in telling him which direction he was going. Sadly the sun is a jerk that gives up its secrets for no one and was currently focused on roasting the skin on the back of his neck.
There was nothing else for him to do but hope that this man would point him in the right direction after they found his wife.
Which, thankfully, didn't take as much time as Kim Dokja expected. No, because there was a guard's outpost a little ways from the river where Lee Hyunsung and Jung Heewon (his wife, he's very proud of his wife by the way) were stationed.
"Heewon!" Lee Hyunsung called out as they approached the small tower. A woman with white hair poked her head out and her eyes widened when she saw who was waiting for her.
"Hyunsung! What— where have you been?" She demanded, putting her hands on her hips. Lee Hyunsung visibly shrunk at her fierce gaze and almost hid behind Kim Dokja.
"I.. got lost."
"You don't say?" Jung Heewon teased before opening her arms to welcome her husband back. He gratefully entered them and Kim Dokja awkwardly scraped at the ground with his sword in the face of such blatant affection.
After a moment of very awkward silence for Kim Dokja, he cleared his throat and the couple broke apart.
"Who's this?" Jung Heewon asked with a good amount of curiosity and a small amount of hostility.
"This is the good sir uh.."
"Kim Dokja," Kim Dokja finished, extending his hand towards Jung Heewon who took it with a firm shake.
"He helped me find you," Lee Hyunsung said happily, practically bouncing on his heels.
"Whatever can I do to thank you?" Jung Heewon asked with a bit of weariness.
"Nothing at all," Kim Dokja replied with a small sigh. "But, I would appreciate some direction as to the whereabouts of the nearest castle? I happen to have a request to fulfill there." He brandished the guild's request poster and Jung Heewon looked it over and suppressed a laugh.
Usually, it was her job to kill people like this. But this pathetic looking man with bags under his eyes that could rival well, anyone, did not pose much of a threat.
Besides, the queen would probably be entertained by such a visitor. Not to mention the final obstacle that stood in his way.
"Certainly," Jung Heewon said with a smile as she handed his paper back to him. "Here there's this strip of forest, and just beyond that is a river. Follow the river to the bridge, you should be able to see it from the bank.. and then cross that and you should be able to see a road that leads to the castle."
"A real road?" Kim Dokja asked hopefully, knowing that without one he would be lost again. Besides, he was sick of these roads that weren't really roads. He wanted to pave a path through the forest so he never had to deal with this much inconvenience again.
"Yes, a real road," Jung Heewon repeated bemusedly.
"Good luck," Lee Hyunsung said anxiously.
"Have fun storming the castle!"
Kim Dokja waved them goodbye and began to follow the path that was pointed out to him. As they watched him go, Lee Hyunsung gently wrapped his arms around his wife and rested his chin on her head.
"You didn't mention the dragon?" He murmured and Jung Heewon laughed beneath him.
"He'll be fine, he brought you back to me after all."
"Heewon—" Lee Hyunsung's arms tightened around her and she leaned into his touch. She would be looking forward to the report of what happened to Kim Dokja later.
In the meantime, Kim Dokja miraculously found his way to the river. It really was nothing short of a miracle that he managed to find it. Even with the sound of rushing water and the softer earth around the bank, if it wasn't for the vaguely marked path, there was no way he would be able to find it.
And when he looked downriver, that's when he saw it. A tall, ornate bridge that was a short walk away from him. And beyond it, the road could be seen. Kim Dokja almost fell to his knees in relief. It was only midday and his quest was already nearly over.
After this he was already looking forward to returning to his books and his armchair and his bed.. his house where he didn't have to see people and the pub where he could see people if he wanted to.. and the best part is he wouldn't have to deal with all these strange woods folk that have powers beyond what he can imagine.
And so Kim Dokja set off happily towards the bridge. He really did only have to cross it to reach the castle, he could even see a bit of it from the start of the bridge.
But something unexpected happened the moment Kim Dokja set foot on the bridge. The whole world seemed to shake as a dark shadow appeared overhead. He looked up but he couldn't see anything beyond the dark mass that blotted out the sun.
So he did what any sensible man would do, (which is usually out of the question for Kim Dokja) and he started to run across the bridge.
He was doing quite a good job at running too, until the huge dark mass landed in the middle of the bridge in front of him. The structure shook and crumbled under the weight of the beast and Kim Dokja almost stumbled backwards in surprise.
In front of him stood a huge dark dragon with silver scales that glittered in the sun. Kim Dokja immediately reached for his sword, doing the least sensible thing (I told you he wasn't the type for being sensible, in this situation he should be running again, but look at this fool—).
The dragon huffed once and smoke curled from his nostrils. Kim Dokja swallowed back his fear and held his sword in front of him. "Back! You beast!"
In reality, if Kim Dokja knew what he was doing a little better, he would be able to defeat the beast. He had loads of untapped potential and the only reason they remained untapped was because frankly he hated himself too much to explore the part of himself that could be better.
The dragon did not care to be yelled at by this sassy lost child and instead began to prepare his reserves of fire to be fully unloaded onto this man. Kim Dokja didn't like getting roasted alive though and so he sought a way out of this mess.
With no better ideas, Kim Dokja ran at the dragon and began to scale the beast's arm. The dragon, unprepared but no less incapable of dealing with this "threat" simply raised his arm to position it so that Kim Dokja was once again within fire range.
So Kim Dokja did the truly foolish thing, and launched himself at the dragon's face. He landed right on the dragon's muzzle and luckily out of fire range. The dragon clawed at his face and after grabbing hold of the pest that is Kim Dokja, threw the man down on the bridge behind him.
Kim Dokja's plan(?) worked perfectly as he did end up on the side of the bridge that wasn't breaking under the dragon and was actually much closer to the castle than he was before.
"No one said anything about dragon slaying," he grumbled as he forced himself to his feet and quickly took account of his injuries. Besides a few scrapes, he was actually doing fairly well considering he was literally thrown by a dragon onto the hard stone bridge. It's the perks of being a cockroach.
"It would seem that you are unable to be eaten," a cold voice was heard and Kim Dokja froze and once again raised his sword.
Before his eyes, the dragon slowly became shrouded in mist that almost appeared like a veil around it and with a flash of white and the scattering of stars, a knight stood in its place.
Now, if the knight looked like anything else, literally, anything else, Kim Dokja would probably have been able to put up more of a fight. Because if Kim Dokja was to read the description of the main character of his favorite novel and compare it to this man, the description would have matched perfectly.
This man —dragon— was stunning. Tan in complexion and scarred with past battles but no less beautiful for it. His thick eyebrows were drawn in a scowl and the curve of his lips was perfectly symmetrical. Even under the layers of armor Kim Dokja could tell that the knight before him was well built, probably one of the most muscular men he'd met.
The man's dark eyes looked Kim Dokja over as though he were a worm and the latter felt shivers running up his spine.
In spite of everything, Kim Dokja did not lower his sword. The man before him drew his own sword and pointed it at him, the broken bridge behind him. If Kim Dokja had been thinking, he could have just run towards the castle. But it's dishonorable to turn your back on people who try to kill you and all that so he didn't and instead ran at the man with the protagonist's face.
"You're very brave," the dragon murmured as he watched Kim Dokja approach. He easily pushed his sword back and forced Kim Dokja to his knees, placing his blade teasingly on his neck. "I mourn the loss of the tree that will become your coffin."
Oh stars. Kim Dokja thought, his heart no longer only pounding from the prospects of dying. He thought now that maybe it would be totally fine for him to die this way. Yeah, dying at the hands of the most attractive being Kim Dokja had ever witnessed with his own eyes that not only looks like his favorite character but also acts like him? Yeah. This was a good death.
"What's your name?" Kim Dokja asked weakly and the man quirked a single perfect brow.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, protector of Queen Han Sooyoung."
Queen? The guild's request said nothing about her being a queen! Right? It was princess Han Sooyoung, right?? Sadly, the poster with the request had been burned up already so he couldn't check. It's really his fault for reading it with a headache, because it really said a lot of things that he didn't actually read properly and will be surprised to find out.
But that's for later.
For now, Kim Dokja had realized that while dying at the hands of someone like this would be very nice dying in and of itself is terrifying and needs to definitely not happen to him right now.
So Kim Dokja gripped his sword in his hands and quickly thrusted it at the knight Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk, who had a bit of a rundown from Jung Heewon before Kim Dokja even showed up, didn't exactly want to play along with this. The original plan was letting this fool wander into the castle by himself to give the queen a bit of entertainment and inspiration for the novels she writes so they could have a break from being the ones to inspire her (which is an ordeal to say the least).
But surprisingly, there was a lot of power behind Kim Dokja that was almost indescribable. Yoo Joonghyuk found that he couldn't dodge or parry it, even. The strongest dragon in the realm brought to his knees by a sad wet rat man, Han Sooyoung won't ever stop teasing him for this...
But he did fall, not unconscious but it was like Kim Dokja had stabbed the perfect point to paralyze him. Yoo Joonghyuk had effectively eaten the dirt as he fell, too. Kim Dokja, feeling more than a bit chuffed in himself, stood up and did not check to make sure that Yoo Joonghyuk was dead.
Given that the protagonist of his favorite novel —who just so happened to have the same name— never died from something so simple and Kim Dokja had basically given up on seeing the knight as anyone but the protagonist of that novel, he thought that this knight would probably not die from this.
But that didn't mean that Kim Dokja couldn't run away while this knight was "unconscious". And so that's exactly what he did. He ran as fast as he could until his shoes hit the cobblestone road on the other side of the bridge.
He ran as fast as he could into the cover of the forest before finally stopping to catch his breath. Kim Dokja really had brought down the dragon with his own hands!
If he had any more energy he would probably skip down this beautifully paved road all the way up to the castle. Sadly, when you spend almost every waking hour curled up in an armchair holding a book and displaying every single example of bad reader's posture, you don't actually end up having that much stamina.
So he still needed to catch his breath. That was fine, though. He was going to stroll right up to that castle and then...
...And then what? There was surely a horde of guards waiting inside of there. Kim Dokja had worked so hard to figure out exactly how to get to the castle that he didn't know what he would do now he's almost there. What was there for him to do now?
He couldn't exactly waltz up and demand to see the princess —or queen, whatever she was— and carry her off to some distant land for whoever it was that wanted her for whatever reason.
In fact, he wasn't entirely sure why he bothered making it this far now. But Kim Dokja would not go back now that he'd arrived. Maybe if he asked nicely he could get a job here or something. Something steady where he didn't have to slay dragons and travel through forests anymore. That would be nice.
So he continued to walk down the road that really truly was actually a road and arrived at the gates of the castle only to find two figures waiting there for him.
Kim Dokja couldn't place his finger on it, but he could have swore that he'd met these two before. They were strange, sort of difficult to make out. One of them at least had some pretty distinguishing features. Black eyes and horns, dark demonic wings spreading behind their back and sleeves rolled up to reveal their hands were stained black up to their forearms.
The other knight was equally difficult to describe. Although this time there were no wings or horns and instead they were just.. short. Shorter than Kim Dokja, which was saying something. Also, they appeared distinctly Korean. How Kim Dokja knew this in this fantasy setting he had no idea but it was the word that came to mind. This knight wore a set of armor that was black on the outside with hints of white peaking through where the cloth folded over.
Also, they had a grin on their face that said they would probably rather cause trouble than stand around guarding a castle all day.
The other one was wearing brown and had their helmet a bit askew due to the horns protruding from their head and Kim Dokja thought it was a bit odd. Why not just make holes for the horns? He mused before continuing to walk right up to the door.
The two figures smirked as if the couldn't believe this sad little guy was going to simply walk right up to their castle.
And then it occurred to them that he absolutely would unless they put in an effort to stop him. They quickly crossed their swords in front of the castle doors and the one in black and white cleared their throat.
"Ahem, state your business."
Kim Dokja was a little taken aback by this and sighed before patting around his coat for the guild request that again was already burnt up in dragon fire and no longer existed in this mortal realm.
"We haven't got all day," the demonoid added with a slight cough.
Kim Dokja soon gave up looking for the paper that didn't exist and cleared his throat to speak. "I am here regarding a quest, I request entry to speak with the ruler of this castle."
The two knights shared a dubious look and scoffed.
"You? Going to see our Han Sooyoung?" The demonoid asked disdainfully.
"Yes," Kim Dokja replied wearily and the two knights shared another glance.
"Right then, but before you can enter, you have to tell us something," the non-demonoid one said smugly. "One of us always tells the truth, and the other one always lies, which one is telling the truth? And you only get to ask us three questions."
"That seems fair enough," the other added thoughtfully. "Only the three."
Kim Dokja sighed and looked between the two of them. "Right," he said finally. He approached the demonoid and sheathed his sword. "The king of the realm is doing a good job, true or false?"
"False, definitely," the demonoid said without skipping a beat.
"Ah, but that question is subjective, isn't it?" The other knight asked thoughtfully.
The demonoid's eyes widened and they nodded. "You're right."
Kim Dokja sighed. Honestly, he wouldn't have really known the answer to that question anyway. He was a hermit, and only went out when he needed money or to stockpile food again. That's what made adventuring so nice, he could choose his own hours and get away with murder.
So he was still at a bit of a loss. "So, you're the one that tells the truth?" He asked, pointing to the other knight who grinned.
"Wouldn't you like to know rat-man?"
"Well that's hardly fair," Kim Dokja said in exasperation. "You dodged the question!"
"I said you only got the three I didn't say that I had to answer properly to them," the knight replied with a shrug.
"Nice one," the demonoid said and Kim Dokja realized for the first time that their teeth were slightly pointed.
These two are weird, Kim Dokja thought to himself. Too weird.
"Last question," the demonoid said, still grinning and Kim Dokja snapped his fingers.
"You're the one that always tells the truth, aren't you?" He crowed proudly. "Because you just told me I have one question left and that was the truth!"
"Eh? Actually I don't know which one I am," the demonoid replied with a glance at their companion. "You think we planned this out ahead of time or something?"
The other knight scoffed and sheathed their sword. "For the record, you would have been the one to tell the truth," they told their companion who nodded thoughtfully.
"It would have been more funny if it were you, though." The demonoid sheathed their sword and sighed. "You wouldn't happen to have an appointment, would you? Some kind of identification or..?"
Kim Dokja, still in slight shock from this turn of events, began scrambling to find his guild card before handing it over for the two knights to inspect.
Just to mess with him, the non-demonoid one pretended to take a bite out of it as the other one sniffed it as if by doing this they could verify the validity of it.
"Well, everything seems to be in order.. Kim Dokja," the demonoid said, handing back the card.
"Go in, go up the stairs and it should be the first door in the back," the other added. "The queen will probably be excited to see you."
Kim Dokja sighed and slumped slightly where he stood. He was suddenly extremely tired of this whole affair and for the fifty first time that day, he wanted to go home again.
But his feet carried him into the castle which surprisingly wasn't filled to the gills with guards at all. Instead there was a single squid lying in the middle of the floor in a puddle. Kim Dokja decided he didn't want to know anything about that and took the stairs up to the door which he assumed led to the throne room.
So, like any good nerd, he pushed the doors open both at the same time very dramatically. Kim Dokja liked to think that he lived this far for this moment. Obviously, it is every nerd's dream to push open two doors at once like Aragorn in Lord of the Rings, but sadly that dream was very difficult to bring to reality.
Especially when you're someone like Kim Dokja who didn't realize just how heavy those doors can be. So as he pushed open the doors, which actually went well enough as far as pushing open doors goes, he walked through and only just barely managed to make his stumbling over his own feet look deliberate.
And then the doors crashed shut behind him and he visibly winced which took away from the whole cool factor of pushing open two doors at once. Not that Kim Dokja minded, as he thought he did quite well.
"Who goes there?" A feminine voice asked from the far side of the long hall. It was a woman who wasn't exactly beautiful —she wasn't Yoo Sangah— but still passed as good enough if childlike women were your thing. Obviously, this is just Kim Dokja's opinion, and the Narrator would like to say that they think Han Sooyoung is very lovely.
Han Sooyoung sat upon a very dark throne of blackened bones and at her side stood the two nights from the entrance to the castle on either side of her. How they got there before Kim Dokja could, he hadn't the foggiest.
If he paid a little more attention, he might have realized that every single person he'd met so far on his journey were also present and standing behind various pillars to watch. Why would they miss the very climax of Kim Dokja's misfortunes after all?
"I am here..." Kim Dokja started before realizing that telling the woman he was supposedly supposed to kidnap what he was doing would be more than a bit awkward, especially when she was a woman in power and surrounded by guards. "...On the request of the guild. Perhaps you heard about it?" He finally asked wearily and Han Sooyoung leaned down to her demonoid guard to listen to the words they spoke.
After a bit of silence, Han Sooyoung finally spoke. "Oh, you mean this one?" She brandished a flyer and Kim Dokja barely suppressed a groan. That definitely ruined the surprise aspect of this. Not that there ever was one because while Kim Dokja couldn't hear the complaints of the trees, Han Sooyoung had known from the beginning that he was on his way.
Kim Dokja walked forward and carefully took the paper from the queen's hand without any sense of ceremony before straightening it out and glancing at it. "Yes, it's this one."
"..And you did read it?" Han Sooyoung asked thoughtfully, but the kind of thoughtfulness that one would examine a dried up crusty worm on concrete with.
Kim Dokja hesitated before nodding. He did actually read it, although he had a headache at the time and had also just woken up so he didn't exactly know how well he read it. He hoped he read it because otherwise this whole journey might as well have been for nought at this point.
The queen Han Sooyoung burst out laughing and started to rub her eyes as if she'd been brought to tears by how funny this situation was.
"You're hired!" She exclaimed happily and there were many cheers coming from the hall.
"I'm sorry?" Kim Dokja asked, still under the impression that he was doing this request for some foreigner looking to get their hands on this woman for whatever reason.
Actually, when he put a single gram of thought into it, he found the whole notion to be absurd and quickly looked over the flyer again.
Kim Dokja then realized that this request was double sided. On one side there absolutely was a request from the named Gong Pildu for the hand of Han Sooyoung, and the reward with about five too few zeros behind it.
But in fine print Kim Dokja could finally read the truth.
Turn this paper over for the true request, if thou dost even care.
Kim Dokja blanched slightly before hesitantly turning over the paper.
Jester required! Pays well, food and board supplied, details at the nearest castle in the woods.
You have got to be kidding me, Kim Dokja thought before looking around. All of the most powerful beings in the forest had come out to greet and congratulate him on becoming a member of castle staff.
And Kim Dokja couldn't refuse anymore. It was too much, and too awkward. And so he whimpered slightly as he returned the paper to the queen. "I look forward to working for you," he said as politely as he could manage.
Han Sooyoung grinned and thought to herself that with a fool like Kim Dokja, she would never run out of ideas for her novels.
Finally, Kim Dokja faced the dragon Yoo Joonghyuk as he chewed on a dumpling (where did he get that dumpling??).
Yoo Joonghyuk swallowed and placed a heavy hand on Kim Dokja's shoulder and Kim Dokja almost trembled from the weight of it.
"You are a fool," Yoo Joonghyuk told him. And there were never once in the history of this universe truer words.