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The rising steam heating his face when hunched over the ramen bowl, the warm atmosphere of a cheap restaurant open late on a summer evening, just eating with someone in a comfortable silence. It all made Dazai nostalgic for something he had never experienced before.
It was what he imagined hanging out after school would have been. Him and Kunikida; both a few years younger, in high school. They had done their homework together (well, Kunikida had, Dazai lazed around like normal), talked, walked, gotten tired and hungry, and ended up at the cheapest ramen place they found. Exchanging a few words here and there, but mostly just eating in silence.
But they weren't a few years younger. Dazai had never been. They were twenty and back from a mission that stretched far longer than should've. They were tired and hungry, and ended up at the cheapest ramen place they found.
Kunikida looked so different when tired. His hair was tousled, ponytail loosened. His face less stern. The dim restaurant lights softened his features further, and he had taken off his glasses to eat without the steam blinding him. For Dazai it felt wrong seeing Kunikida like this — way too casual, friendly. He didn't dare look in his direction.
They had been work partners for a couple of months now, but all that Dazai had seen of Kunikida were the same old furrowed eyebrows and an unsettlingly perfect posture. Who wouldn't be a bit put off when seeing such a drastic change?
"Hey, Kunikida." Dazai broke the silence.
Kunikida hummed in response, glancing over at him.
"Did you have friends in high school?" Dazai asked, lacking the usual teasing tone.
Kunikida scoffed at that, too tired to get offended.
"What's this about?"
"Just wondering~"
Kunikida just sighed — he had definitely registered the seriousness in Dazai's tone when he asked.
"Yes, I had friends."
"That truly is a wonder with how you seem to have a stick up your ass all the time," Dazai hummed, smug.
"Don't ya start now–! Just get to the point." Kunikida rolled his eyes in annoyance, but still set his chopsticks down to focus on the conversation.
Dazai didn't set anything down, but stopped eating.
"Was it fun?"
"Well, we mostly just studied together, but when we actually hung out, yes. Yes it was. I still miss 'em sometimes… Well, Katai’s here, but that’s besides the point."
Dazai hummed—half of him lost in thought, swirling around the broth with a spoon, half of him listening intently. Dazai felt a longing weigh on his chest.
"Y'know, this reminds me of a ramen place we used to go to after school. I grew up in the country, so the biggest fun we could have was eating." Kunikida chuckled. "There really was nothing else to do."
A longing for youth.
It was quiet for a while
“Dazai,” Kunikida called out to him. “Why’d you ask?”
It took him a moment to respond.
“I just…” He started, but decided it best to keep it short. “I’m fine. I never went to high school. Just wanted to know what it was like.”
“What? You never went to high school?”
“I’m not hungry anymore. See you at work.” Dazai cut him off and got up, ready to leave. Kunikida tried to take him by the sleeve.
“What the hell? Ya sit your ass down and finish the food I paid for.” Kunikida didn't say it out loud, but he was worried about Dazai. He was acting strangely, even if it was, well, Dazai. He didn’t even look at Kunikida; just yanked his arm back. Kunikida’s grasp slipped and soon Dazai was out the door.
His half-eaten bowl of Ramen and a worried Kunikida left behind.