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It had been months since Vanessa died.
No, since Vanessa was killed.
Her father had stabbed her in the abdomen. The doctors said there was too much damage. She wouldn't recover.
You were the only one there when they pulled her off life support.
You had never heard a worse sound than the flatline. It rang in your head all day, and every day you wished it had been you instead.
Now you lie in bed, the house empty. Abby had been involuntarily committed to the state psych ward. You had begged her not to talk about what happened at the pizzeria, but she did. And could you fully blame her? They were her friends.
You listened as the phone rang beside you. You knew it was Mike; he called almost every day. He asked the same questions but focused specifically on your dreams. He had talked about his "dream theory" before, but you always thought it was stupid.
But now, in the midst of the most horrendous grief, you were willing to try anything.
You got up and turned on the TV, letting the static noise fill the room. You went into your closet and pulled over a trunk of things, Vanessa's things. It included an oversized hoodie she had let you borrow one night when the heat went out. You also grabbed a printed picture of you and Vanessa, happily sitting on the couch.
Happily.
You forced yourself to stand back up and place the items on the bed. You flipped the blinds closed, plunging the room into darkness. You lie down, wearing the hoodie and clutching the picture. You focused on the static and let it take you.
XXX
You woke up to the sound of strings faintly playing. You were standing on solid ground, but the fog made it impossible to see past your ankles. You were in the same outfit as you were that night, the fabric clinging to you like it was afraid. You could see traces of sweat and blood at the ends of the material, reminding you of what had happened.
"Y/N?" A voice called.
You turned and saw Vanessa.
You ran towards her, and she ran towards you. She captured you in her arms, you both holding each other so tightly that you were sure your bones would break. You buried your nose in her neck and inhaled deeply, being reminded of her cinnamon perfume. She was also wearing the same outfit from that night: a long-sleeve, mustard-yellow shirt and black dress pants.
You wept as you held onto Vanessa, not knowing how you were staying upright. Your hands clutched her shoulders, that being the only anchor you had. Vanessa's arms were wrapped around your middle, much like how a scared child would hug a stuffed animal. She whispered your name while you echoed hers back, promising each other's presence and tears of joy mixing into the medley.
At one point, you lost your strength. You and Vanessa plummeted to the ground, still wrapped up in each other's arms. You now tangled your legs together, pressing yourselves impossibly closer to each other.
Without you or Vanessa moving, your clothes evaporated into the fog. Your bare bodies pressed together, your tongue danced in her mouth, and your hand had a firm grip on her hair while she focused her strength on keeping you pressed to her.
"I've missed you." You whispered between kissing.
"I've missed you. So much."
You continued kissing your girlfriend, so enveloped in the reunion that you hadn't yet recognized that the fog was beginning to shade darker than before. It wasn't until your heels began tingling that you noticed.
"Ness..." You whispered, looking at the fog.
"No no no, focus on me." She begged, turning your face and kissing you again.
You began kissing her again as your feet fell through the ground. You glanced down and could see it was the ceiling of your bedroom. The bedroom you were currently sleeping in.
You were waking up.
"No!" You yelled. One hand stayed in Vanessa's hair, the other clawing her back, trying to bring her back down with you.
The soft touches were soon replaced with scratching from both of you. You, trying to bring Vanessa with you, and Vanessa pleading for one more moment. Your feet sagged into the mattress, then your calves.
The fog was now dissipating, revealing that the ground had always been just a millimeter above your bed. You weren't even able to go far. Vanessa's fingers locked with yours, like her hold alone could keep you with her.
Tears of anguish poured from both of your eyes. You kept your faces together, lips brushing each time either of you made a move to say something.
"God please don't go! Please don't take her!" She sobbed into your bare chest.
You wrapped your arms tightly around her, even as your body sagged more, hip bones pressing into the mattress.
"I want to stay, please let me stay." You pleaded with any entity that could've been listening.
As your back touched the bed, you let out a defeated breath.
"I love you, Vanessa." You whimpered.
"I love you too Y/N. I love you so fucking much." She cried.
You both mumbled promises to each other, promises of another reunion and paradise together when it was your turn to join her. But, slowly, the music faded, Vanessa faded, and your head hit the pillow.
XXX
When you woke up, you let out a loud cry. You looked over at the picture, its edges being crumpled from how tightly you had held onto it. The hoodie was soaked in sweat and tears. It rode up a bit, showing a deep red line.
You sat up and took the top off, revealing that your chest and your back had been clawed raw. The marks on your back followed the same paths Vanessa had taken, while the ones on your front were different. They appeared to be self-inflicted.
"The soul, it seems, was trying to find its other half."
But your soul's other half would never be reunited with its true pairing.
You would spend every night trying to reach your girlfriend, trying desperately to let your soul lead you where you needed to go. And yet every morning, you would wake up with your arms empty and your chest bleeding.