Work Text:
The lightning was just right. There was soft chattering outside the room they were in. Cocaines, alcohol, sex - everyone’s secret was hidden in its darkness as if the night had already made that promise. When morning comes, no one knows whose lips touched theirs, who confessed and who lost themselves. Gun didn’t smoke, Goo didn’t drink, too.
But their faces had no distance between them. The kiss was soft, gentle, parted in between smooches until they leaned again to take each other’s breath. Gun always pretended he didn’t know what was going on, but his body moved like muscled memory. Goo took control as usual, pressing his lips where he’s allowed, called him what he should, leaned against him until Gun gave in not just his strength but will.
In this room, no one can drink, no one can smoke, no one can make a joke. In this room, men can kiss, men can call each other’s sweet, honeyed names like the world had always known them as lovers.
Their clothes were tossed away like the cold night has been nothing but burning hot. Goo took what he can on the skin he can reach. Gun lets. So when they’re out of the room, he has no one else to blame but Goo's lust.
“That was good,” Goo said, a while after they had finished. He was smirking, staring at the white ceiling through the dimmed light. Because that’s the only place he’s comfortable to look. Certainly not in a weird position to see the bathroom, certainly not on his right where Gun was staring at the same ceiling.
He didn’t smoke. So he was more sober, Goo assumed.
“For you, it is.” Gun snorted. It sounded too forced to be casual. But if anything, they silently agreed to act like this was natural.
Goo smiled, maybe wider. Something about this felt ironic and hilarious. He had fucked his rival. Heard him moan, seen his crooked face, felt his warm insides. Filled him, marked him. And the significant other said it hurts. What exactly hurts when he’s been demanding anything but stop?
“You're a masochist.” Goo managed to mutter between yawns. “Ohh, it hurts so bad yeah? So bad you only said more.” This was it. He’s acting like Goo Kim again.
Gun turned to look at him. His white orbs flicker from the tip of Goo’s nose, his lips and eyes. Anywhere the moonlight allows him to reach. His arm stretched out, hand rushing the blond’s front hair behind. He pushed his weight, kissing Goo’s forehead.
Something like this, loving and soft, was okay. Because they weren't out of the room.
Goo sighed in relief.
“You’re so much better when you pretend.” He mumbled quietly, turning to look at Gun.
They catch each other’s eyes. Goo returned the kiss on the lips, “So much better.”
Gun frowned a bit like he didn’t get a word. When it gets so intense, or so soft, he always acts confused or that Goo was making himself hard to understand again. “You're acting weird.” He said, always had.
Goo laughs a bit. Fixing his position so they can face each other more properly. Irritated eyes and loving ones. They said nothing but stare, and they had done nothing to point out how weird it was to stare at each other for so long.
When Goo had fallen asleep, face relaxed like a newborn again, Gun had stopped frowning like a retreating wave.
Nothing clashes by then.
“Idiot.” He said.
Everything stays still.
“Idiots.” He said again, turning to look at the ceiling.
His other hand wandered to the table next to the bed. Marlboro cigarettes taken to corrode his feelings and lungs again. The room was nothing and it wasn’t night anymore. The smoke fills the air, Goo’s face crinkled. Gun didn’t care. He put out the tip like his undying confession. Wore his clothes to cover up the proofs, the pleasure, and anything that seems promising. Then, left.
To the outside space beyond the room. Where men can’t kiss. Can't wear a suit when another man wears a white, laced dress, a pretty veil to cover anything modest. Men can’t be modest. Can't do anything but feel shame when the world sees them hold hands. When anyone goes against Adam and Eve’s kind of love, they’ve been denied human, and especially, especially their feelings.