Work Text:
KUTAKA:
Higan, the far side of the river sanzu, a pure land containing neither weather, seasons, nor night and day, only a warm breeze and many red spider lilies throughout. There, stands a chicken goddess guarding a barber shop,...wait it's actually the gate to hell, yet for some reason it seems to have gained the aura of a cursed barbershop as of late.
Monk seeking out hell~
Ichirin, one of the monks of the Myouren temple, drops from the sky in front of the hell gate.
“Welcome, what brings you to hell today?”
“Wait, you're alive, you shouldn't be here then, are you perhaps lost?” Kutaka justifiably asked.
“Oh no I'm certain this is the right place, you're hell's gate keeper correct? I would like to go there to investigate the ongoing incident”
“You know who I am? Great, let's get straight to the point then, I can't let you waste your life so easily, turn back now!”
Kutaka blew on her whistle, and with that a danmaku battle broke out.
Kutaka made the first move spawning many sound bullets via her whistle, which Ichirin quickly destroyed by punching into the air, Unzan, her cloud companion punching into the same direction, which destroyed the bullets and almost hit Kutaka, but she managed to dodge the attack by jumping into the sky, where she then propelled herself down using her wings and created two small slashes which she slammed into each other, cutting Ichirin’s neck and sending her plummeting into the ground, a few spell cards were exchanged afterwards before ichirin was defeated.
“You're clearly not strong enough to survive in hell, even if you were only going there for a short while”
“Ugh, I guess investigating here is off then, this will certainly make things harder, I didn't think you'd have an urban legend though”
“Oh yes speaking of which, what are these urban legends you keep mentioning, is there something going on in gensokyo?”
“You don't know? Even though you have one…, well basically rumors are becoming true and there are occult balls everywhere, you have one already, wait…you have two?...Either way, once you beat someone you get their occult ball, it's non negotiable too”
“Sounds like some kind of curse, maybe I should check on hell myself…, wait! Someone else is coming here”
Hermit who should already be in hell~
Mononobe no futo, the religious rival of Ichirin makes her appearance.
“Greetings, thou art hell's gatkeep, no?”
“yes it's me, do you wish to enter hell too?”
“but of course, there's an incident I wish to investigate”
“Alright then, I'll be investigating it myself, so there's no need for you to damn yourself this quickly, even if you are a hermit”
“ Thee dare to underestimate mine skill, I assure thee mine hell trip shant be permanent”
“Fine, you're a hermit anyway, so if you want to go to hell so bad then why don't I just send you there myself!”
Kutaka started the fight with some aimed anomatapia bullets, Futo retorted by throwing many plates towards the chicken, which broke upon hitting the ground, erecting many pliers of fire, Kutaka managed to dodge the attack,yet she burned a bit of her wings while attempting to float away, in mid air she blew on her whistle and many spirits appeared and stood in circles around her.
«Hell trial: rainy hell~hell of rains»
rain started pouring from the spirits and on to Futo, which both put out the fire she caused and set the stage for Kutaka's victory.
“turn back now or be sent to hell permanently”
“ Thou has not defeated me yet, for the fire of mine spells shan't be quelled so easily-”
“Oh! Hey Miss Suiki! What brings you here?~”
“Eeek!”
Futo leaped away with impressive speed.
“Hehe,...alright now that she's gone, I have to see what's happening in hell, but…I'm supposed to start processing spirits at the moment…, well I guess I summoned some others during the fight so I have to go to hell to take them back~”
Hell's new inhabitants~
Kutaka has entered hell, after a bit of patrolling she noticed no signs of the incident, she expanded her patrol into the animal realm, where someone else seemed to be doing the same, with an army trailing behind them.
Mayumi joutougu enters.
“Hault! Are you trying to stop our patrol again? You beast spirits should really work on your arrogance, thinking only one of you can defeat us…”
“Hey that's my line, or at least the first word you said…, also I’m not a beast spirit!”
“Huh?..., oh, you must be hell's gatekeeper then, pleasure to meet you” Mayumi bowed as she said this, with other haniwa behind her attempting to bow as well.
“Oh, pleasure to meet you too then…, but your niceties won't work on me! Newcomers are always the ones causing problems so you must be the culprit!”
“W-what? We didn't do anything-”
Before Mayumi can finish her sentence, a barge of-,...grains? Yes she was bombarded by grain bullets, and thus she was forced to defend herself. Mayumi drew her sword, and parried a good amount of the grains, allowing her to lunge herself directly at Kutaka, and slash her to oblivion. Kutaka was caught quite off guard by the haniwa’s skill.
During the fight Kutaka felt a strange sensation within her once again, “cut off her head, off with her head” she kept hearing, almost as if it was being directly whispered into her ears, and eventually she followed it.
But this time her enemies head actually did fall off, she was but a statue after all.
“Ha! I win again-ah, oh a-are you okay, did I actually hurt you!?” Kutaka said with a frantic and scared expression, as she held Mayumi’s severed head.
“Of course you did! Ugh I can't believe I lost…, I bet Miss Keiki will be so disappointed”
“Eek! You can talk even with your head severed? That's so creepy…, anyway take me to your master, we're ending this incident here and now!”
“I already told you…, we didn't do anything”
“Oh…, then who did…? Are you associated with the culprit?!”
“No!”
Then, a third voice was heard.
“Mayumi!”
Angering the gods is quite the mistake, angering mothers is a death sentence~
Keiki ran in and snatched Mayumi's head from Kutaka.
“I'm sorry miss Keiki I wasn't strong enough to-”
“Oh,no no, that doesn't matter right now! Don't worry I'll fix you right up, but first…, are you the one who did this?”
Kutaka nodded.
“Yes, there's an incident happening in gensokyo called the urban legend incident, and i suspect that you newcomers are the ones behind it!”
“first of all no we didn't, second of all, did you wake up and choose to die today?”
Keiki sayed with an eerie smile.
“What? No? what are you talking about-”
A small ball of clay was thrown into the ground and from it, a rain of bullets fell down. Followed by one-, t-ten?!
Ten haniwa showed up, seemingly out of nowhere, and started to shoot many arrows at Kutaka. Who attempted to defend herself. And after a long struggle of spell cards, she managed to get an opening.
“I gotta get the hell out here! These newcomers are dangerous.”
With that she managed to escape Keiki's wrath, and run out of hell.
“....alright let's get you fixed up.”
Evil lurking right above your nose~
Kutaka landed back in Higan, with conformation that the newcomers to the animal realm aren't the cause of the incident,as they weren't using occult balls and the incident didn't even reach the place, so now Kutaka must conduct a more broad investigation, Komachi might be a good start, then the human village, yes humans must taste good after a danmaku battle,serves them right anyway.
…She noticed something off, [I wonder why so many spirits are here…]
“Ah! I'm supposed to be processing them! The line got huge in my absence, …well maybe a bit more time hunting investigating should be alright.”
Suddenly a tanuki appeared.
“Hey, this should make things much faster, has the urban legend spread to hell?”
“No I don't think so”
“Thanks a ton, here's a coin for your trouble” Mamizou tossed a coin, which was in reality nothing but a leaf.
“Stop, before you go, are you the one behind the incident”
“Don't go throwing accusations all willy nilly like that, of course I'm not” and with that the tanuki started to walk away, but then abruptly stopped.
“Oh by the way, ya might wanna get rid of the little guy on yer head, he's possessing ya”
“W-what?”
“The chick on your head, it seems it has its own occult ball and is using its powers to possess you”
“I don't believe you, liar!”
“Sigh…, I guess it can't be helped, I'll have separate ya from it, and then the rest is up to you”
With that, Mamizou pulled out a giant gachapon ball and hurled it at Kutaka, the chicken jumped and evaded it, and started throwing out spell cards with extreme aggression, Mamizou retaliated with her own spells, and some use of her urban legend, but before the fight can continue, she managed to knock the little chicken off of Kutaka's head, allowing her to get into a clearer mindset.
“Alright, it's up to you from here, I have stuff to do after all” Mamizou poofed away.
“...ugh, my head hurts, were you really possessing me?”
(“Yes, but it's for good reason, we need to get our revenge!”)
“Revenge against who”
(“Youkai, humans, all those who eat chickens, we must bring justice and eat them!”)
“...these occult balls, …they must have made you go crazy, give me them, now!”
And with that the battle started, Kutaka taking the full brunt of the urban legend that she was herself using, scissors, hair dressing equipment and all sorts of cooking utensils were thrown at her, yet through some ear-splitting spell, she was able to show her companion what the cannibal hell looked like, and thus she won.
Ending~
Higan, the passageway to the afterlife, Kutaka was now processing spirits and where they shall go as always, though something was on her mind.
[Those balls are truly dangerous, to be able to change or possess someone so easily…, such power can't be left to roam free, thankfully I collected them all…]
The goddess believed the rumor of there only being seven occult balls, and so collected more of them, hoping that she may be able to dispose of them completely.
Hell, a place of suffering, made to teach those who never maneged to learn in their life, though the purpose was lost over time, as the torture aspect was more emphasized, and courently it's being used as garbage disposal.
“And there we go…, got rid of all of them, that should make things better” Kutaka threw the seven balls she had gathered into hell, completely unaware of the fact that she had just spread the incident even further, she went back to work afterwards, and despite the chick on her head still wanting to eat humans, she was content with the good she caused.
But was it really good? Would it end in disaster? Or maybe it'll ultimately be unimportant…