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[Takes place about a year before the events of Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Flame.]
The warp ring spins around to project itself into existence. It sparkles and gleams as it allows the two hedgehogs to step out of it and onto the pavement of a sidewalk. The moment they exit out of it, it spins around again to will itself out of existence. When a pair of grassy green eyes peer upward they see a giant archway with the words KHAOS UNIVERSITY before them. Pink ears perk up and twitch at the sound of snapping fingers. “Hey, kid, down here!”
The voice that speaks is a combination of elderly and raspy but also unnaturally deep and imposing. He would have never guessed that the voice belonged to a hedgehog that only came up to his shoulder in height. The hedgehog in question is a little old man with sunken eyes that leaked blood with a muzzle that seemed to sag from excess skin and bent up quills. The skin of his muzzle and insides of his ears are a very orangey shade of peach. Despite how droopy and loose the skin on his face appeared to be, it seemed to tighten uncomfortably when he spoke, showing off his entire set of teeth and gums. Max was surprised they didn’t pop out of his mouth. Despite having a cane in his gloved hands, he was quick, making it up to Max and Nicky in a matter of seconds!
Niku is quick to hide behind Max. He runs a hand soothingly over his head quills when he feels them tremble.
“Excuse me, but who are you??”
The taller male was almost knocked on his ass from how overwhelmingly powerful the shorter’s aura feels. He hadn’t felt anything that powerful since he was ripped from his home universe. It made his skin crawl from the urge to slip his inhibitors off and run his fingers along the old man’s crooked quills.
“The name’s All-Father, and keep your mitts to yourself, pink twink!” He huffs as he points his cane mere inches from Max’s nose. “At least buy me dinner first.” Those crinkled quills sway upon him shaking his head. “Kids these days have no decency!”
Max opens his mouth in an attempt to introduce himself but gets a dismissive hand shoved in his face. “I already know who you are, Max Rose.” The hand retracts resting with the other atop his cane. He cranes his body to try to get a look at the child hiding behind Max. “And you as well Niku.”
The pink hedgehog wraps an arm around his adopted child guiding them a step backwards. How did that old man know their names?? His mind is racing and he feels dread churn in the pit of his stomach.
“No need to get your Jimmies in a rustle, youngin’! If I wanted to harm the two of you-” With the flick of his wrist, his cane is held up high moving side-to-side as he points it at both of them. “-you wouldn’t know it till you were both blood splatters on the pavement.” It was almost annoying how nonchalantly he said it to both of them.
All-Father then turns on his heels at a speed his frail looking body shouldn’t have been able to move at. Beady black eyes peer over his shoulder at Max. “Well, c’mon, I haven’t all day!” He beckons to him. “It’s annoying enough being forced to drop everything to collect you both, as if there wasn’t other EXEs who could have done it…” As he rests his chin onto his hands leaning over his cane his body slowly hovers off the ground.
Max offers a hand to a reluctant Niku who grabs a hold of it. His other hand runs over their quills in reassurance before they catch up to the floating old man. “Forced?”
All-Father huffs out a sigh. “Every time we get a new EXE teacher for the university they always want me to do the meet and greet.” There’s all teeth and gums again upon him gritting his teeth in irritation. “It’s not like I might have other things going on!” It was odd how his cane kept standing up when he threw his arms up.
He may have been a grouchy old man, but Max feels a little sorry for him. The pink hedgehog couldn’t imagine being forced to drop everything just to guide a newcomer. “I’m sorry you’re free time is being interrupted for us.”
There’s another huff as he shakes his head once more. “You’re too soft, boy.”
Max forces a smile and arches an eyebrow. “You mean ‘polite’.”
Another dismissive hand is waved at him. “Sure, sure.”
“So,” The younger man decides to look around the three of them, well two of them keep walking while the eldest floats. Everything in the vicinity seemed to be just a normal larger city. The only unusual thing was All-Father. “Where are we, and where are we going?”
Bony old fingers hold onto his own chin and he hums thoughtfully while beady black eyes squint. His body continues to float straight ahead. “...to be honest I can’t remember the name of this city. Not sure if I’ve even heard the name… I don’t think the city has a name*.”
Both Max and Nicky look at each other in absolute confusion. “...okaaay. So, uh, where are we headed to then?”
All-Father’s head snaps up and his sunken eyes blink rapidly as if he had just woken up. “...hm? Oh! Yes!” A shiver slides down Max’s spin when a ghastly laugh comes out of the old man. He turns around to look down at the younger two. “Taking you to your future residence, of course.”
That was a hopeful surprise! “Residence? Like somewhere to live?” Did he hear him correctly?
In the blink of an eye, the old man is hovering above the two instead of ahead. The handle of his cane is lowered hooking under Max’s chin directing his attention up at All-Father. “I guess I haven’t made myself clear, Sport, and that’s all on me, well more on The Forces That Be** since they lost you on the way here, since you’re a little late on schedule. I’ve been told that ‘they are sincerely apologetic for misplacing you’.” Theire noses are almost touching, that’s how forward All-Father’s hunched over in Max’s space. “Khaos University needed a certain type of culinary art teacher to replace the previous one who didn’t work out.” Max almost trips over when All-Father turns his old body around taking the cane with him letting out another horrifying laugh. One gloved hand clutching his head and the other the cane to his stomach. “I mean, what did they think would happen when they put the guy who eats Mobians*** in charge of a mixed species cooking class?? You just can’t make that shit up, and that’s why I haven’t left this place yet because it’s delightfully entertaining!~” As he’s having his laughing fit, his eyes seem to leak heavier amounts of blood instead of tears. He lets out one last laugh while gloved hands wipe away the excess blood off his cheeks flicking the blood off them afterwards. That made Niku hide again behind Max with a small whimper with Max finding his body shivering uncomfortably.
“Heh, anyway-” All-Father is back to looking down at the two. Both hands resting on the handle of his cane with the cane appearing to be sitting firmly on a steady surface instead of in thin air. “The Forces That Be decided that you were the perfect candidate for the culinary arts teaching position so they scooped up your little twink ass and sent ya this way!” Again he is all teeth and gums. “So now you have a new job, a new home (already paid for and furnished!), and while they weren’t expecting the little sprout glued to you, they can accommodate for… ‘them’ as well! So while you have been displaced on the way to your…” The cane stays in place again while blood soaked gloved fingers do jazz hands sending blood everywhere (Max had to brush a speckle of it off his cheek)! “‘NEW AND WONDERFUL LIFE AT KHAOS UNIVERSITY’!!~” His movements are quick yet again upon placing them back on the cane’s handle. “...you will be well taken care of as long as you can do your job competently. We’re not asking for perfection, just good enough.”
Pink ears pink bac as Max takes in what All-Father has to say. That’s why he was ripped out of his own world and couldn’t get back home?? But then he felt Niku cower upon dodging splatter from All-Father’s bloody display to which he wrapped a protective arm around them. While he sure as hell didn’t want to be sent to an unknown place such as this, he couldn’t deny that finding and rescuing Niku was worth it. I guess this is my life now…
“So you were showing me, I mean-” Max guides Niku back to his side offering them a hand to hold again. “-our home?” He asks with a hopeful smile.
All-Father snorts out a huff. “Indeed I was.” Bloody fingers snap. “Let’s go, pink twink, before it gets too late. Some of us like to get to bed at a decent hour.”
Grassy green eyes roll amusingly. “Slow down grandpa or you’ll fall and break a hip!”
This time around when the old timer laughs Max didn’t feel completely unnerved.