Chapter Text
Rudo has an ongoing problem.
The Cleaners were making him feel weird. And not just in the regular way. Sure, everything about their behavior towards him was different, new, strange, and usually extremely annoying or discomfitingly pleasant. There are so many new traditions and routines he's had to learn. But this is different than that. And it’s getting progressively harder to ignore despite Rudo’s increasingly determined efforts.
The first of what would become a series of trials was what Rudo mentally referred to as The Team Movie Night Incident
When Rudo's new teammates learned that he had never seen a movie in his life they were horrified. TV's were hard to come by in the slums. The only ones he had seen before were in the dumps or ones Regto sold for scrapped parts. He bristled at the teasing remarks that were made, but Team Akuta ultimately deemed Team Movie Night as a necessary way to help him adjust to life on the ground. Definitely not an excuse to spend HQ's money on snacks and popcorn.
It was…admittedly fun. Rudo got to eat more sweets and try popcorn. Gris even got him to try caramel and popcorn together and it was good, which is really weird. He thinks he likes movies. Even if the Wizard of Oz kind of freaked him out.
But now, as their second movie of the night begins Rudo decides that if the team's goal was to make him feel more well-adjusted they are absolutely failing. Because Enjin's decided he wants to be a big stupid asshole and steal Rudo's spot on the couch! He said something about a better view, but it's pretty obvious he's just trying to be annoying. Well, it's working! Obviously Rudo refuses to move. He was here first! Plus, it's next Gris, and Gris is cool…
The couch is tiny. Apparently they used to have a bigger one but after getting it replaced several times Semiu ‘doesn't trust those fools with nice furniture anymore.’ So now, Enjin having ignored Rudo's many colorful explanations of why he should fuck off, has shoved his stupid big self on the other side of the couch–unfortunately leaving Rudo squished between two of the strongest men he's ever met.
His spine goes ramrod straight as he registers how much the two are pressed against him, arms and shoulders suddenly taking up all of his attention because this is even more intense than when Riyo fell asleep on him in the car. Rudo hasn't been touched a lot by anyone but his dad, most people were actually openly disgusted by him. And all of this sustained contact is kind of making him feel like a fried egg.
“You're the worst,”
Rudo glares, but it comes off more flustered than intimidating.
“There's an empty armchair right there, twerp.”
Is the reply he gets, complete with a shrug and shit eating grin to match.
“Yeah! That's your chair! You move!”
Rudo exclaims, blood pressure rising significantly.
“Hm, Nah.”
“You–"
Rudo growls, looking a little feral.
“Sshh, Rudo, pay attention—this is important exposition.”
Gris says with a rare mischievous grin.
And Rudo unfortunately likes Gris enough that he actually stops talking. This is so unfair.
It’s hard to focus on being annoyed though, because he hasn’t seen anything like this before. Except maybe in glances through the city-dwellers windows, when he was young enough not to know better. The movie looks really pretty. It kind of seems like it's for kids, but the animation is so beautiful. The girl on screen moves almost like a real person, and the colors are so bright. The songs are a little cheesy, yeah, but also…pretty.
Securely tucked in between the two men beside him, Rudo worries that this looks suspiciously close to cuddling. But maybe if he stays all tense everyone will know he's just staying here out of spite? Though that's hard too, because Rudo feels…warm. And, after the shock, the press of warm bodies on either side of him feels nice. It's hard not to un-tense his shoulders, his jaw, and kind of relax for once.
Rudo makes a tactical decision that the best way to get Enjin to go away is actually to ignore him, because maybe he just wants to pay attention to the pretty movie.
As the story continues, Rudo finds himself immersed. His focus is fully captured by the relatively simple fairytale, and his mind feels oddly quiet. Once they reach the halfway point of the film, he’s feeling sort of…floaty? He hasn't slept much this week, and it's dark and he's warm. He's starting to lean on Gris a little, eyes almost dazed as he looks at the TV.
It almost feels like nothing bad could really happen to him right now. He's surrounded by the strongest people he's ever met, they're practically holding him. He's not hungry or cold or hurt, and people are nice to him. And nobody expects anything from him right now except to…watch a movie.
“Jeez kid, is that sugar crash hittin’ ya?”
Enjin chuckles, and Rudo realizes he's maybe relaxed against Gris a little too much, because he's halfway slumped into the man's lap.
Rudo jerks up, sitting up straight and rubbing at his eyes. Normally he would tell Enjin off, right? But he still feels that weird, fuzzy-floaty feeling, and he just doesn't feel like coming up with a bunch of insults.
“Sorry,”
He blurts, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth so hopefully nobody expects him to talk. That will have to suffice.
“I don't mind, Rudo. I'm just glad to see you so relaxed.”
Gris says kindly, if a little surprised, patting Rudo on the head. That feels nice. Rudo remembers how sometimes, when he was really little still, Regto would lay Rudo's head in his lap and play with his hair. That was always nice. Rudo remembers feeling warm then, too, kind of like the way he does right now.
Rudo feels…small? That's the word that's coming up. Small. But in a…nice way?
Gris said Rudo being relaxed makes him happy, and he doesn't mind. And Rudo felt really cozy before…
Rudo slowly sinks back down into Gris's lap as the movie continues to play. Should he come up with a reason for that? Probably.
“Enjin stinks,”
He whispers with very little subtlety.
“Gotta get away from ‘im.”
“Wh–whahahat the hell kid? I can hear you!” Enjin cackles while Gris smothers a laugh, baffled but clearly amused.
Zanka groans, dragging a hand down his face.
“Are we trying to watch a movie or do I need to go get my earplugs..?”
“Hey, this is just as entertaining.”
Riyo shrugs.
“Never seen Rudo this chill. S'pretty cute.”
“...huh?”
The boy in question manages, staring at Riyo with wide eyes. The only one who's ever called him cute before is Regto. And that was mostly only when he was little, or to purposely annoy him. That ‘fried egg’ feeling comes back fiercely, and Rudo can feel his ears burning.
“No.”
He says, trying to sound resolute.
…
Somehow, nobody looks particularly convinced.
“I'm not!”
He squawks, defensive and unfortunately squeaky.
“Sure…”
Riyo hums, patronizing.
“Just shuddup and watch the movie, will ya?”
Huffs Zanka, and even though he's grumpy his voice is softer than usual which is weird.
The embarrassment and surprise of the whole ordeal shocks Rudo into some clarity. That weird, fuzzy, small feeling fades. And as he straightens up and the movie resumes, he stews on how he was feeling before. Rudo was definitely acting…odd, right? Cuddling with your…coworkers(?) is probably not a normal thing, even in a place as weird as the ground. And why was he feeling so weird? If Enjin and Gris knew all what he was experiencing, they’d probably be creeped out. He can most likely pass it off as being tired or something though, so it was just embarrassing.
These people didn’t want that kind of thing from Rudo. He needed to be a strong fighter–a protector! They didn’t want him soft or small or whatever. The only person who ever would is Regto and he’s…
Rudo can’t quite shake off his tension for the rest of the night, and the movie doesn’t seem as magical as before. He tenses consciously, feeling like a coiled spring, and resolves to be careful and not to let the weird, ‘small’ feeling happen again.
…
It fucking happens again.
Rudo, to his own defense, had no idea this would become a problem. He finds a stuffed bunny, face down in a pile of garbage like it was worth nothing at all. Of course he had to pick it up. It was in a sorry state–soaked with mud and missing half of one of its arms. One of it’s eyes hung loosely by a few threads, and the other looked so sad to him. Enjin raised an eyebrow when he saw a stuffed animal in the midst of the ‘projects’ Rudo brought back to the jeep that day, but seeing his uncharacteristically somber look, didn’t tease.
“That stuffed animal you grabbed back there’s gotta be pretty resilient.”
He says instead.
“It’s rare that soft fabrics survive all the way down here. You know, sharp stuff, trash storms…So, it’s pretty cool that one made it all the way to you.”
“You think she’s…strong?”
Rudo asks, soft and surprised. He kind of expected him to call the toy ratty or filthy…
“Yeah, I’d say so. Wouldn’t you?”
Enjin shrugs, and, because Rudo seems weirdly vulnerable right now, actually tries to avoid a pothole for once in his career.
“Yeah,”
Rudo nods, and he looks at the stuffed bunny with something close to wonder for the rest of the ride to HQ.
It takes six handwashes to get all the dirt out of the bunny. Still he sees stains as he gently turns the rabbit in his pruny hands. Just plain soap probably won’t do the trick, Rudo realizes with a frown. But he doesn’t know where cleaning supplies are in HQ. He’s rummaging around under the kitchen sink, wondering if they even have baking soda on the ground when he hears a person clear their throat behind him and jumps, accidentally bashing his head on the kitchen counter. Ow.
“You wanna tell me what you're looking for down there? Cause, uh, last I checked, you're not gonna find any midnight snacks next to the bleach.”
Enjin asks, turning on the kettle.
“...Baking soda? I can't find it.”
Rudo manages, rubbing the soon-to-be bruise on his head.
The older man stops for a moment, a little surprised, but says nothing before bursting into laughter.
“Shit, no wonder you couldn't find it.”
Oh god, there's that shit eating grin again. Enjin reaches up to the highest shelf above the stove and snorts.
“You couldn't even reach it. Poor little guy.”
“You asshole! Shut up!”
Rudo roars, any semblance of timidness evaporating in an instant.
“Just gimme the damn baking soda!”
“Alright, alright. Here.”
Enjin acquiesces easily, handing over the box of baking soda. Watching the kid get all ruffled was fun, but he didn't wanna rile Rudo up too much in the middle of the night.
“...You already taking care of that plushie you found earlier?”
He asks, teasing faded and replaced with poorly concealed fondness.
“There were a couple spots I can't get out with just soap,”
Rudo mutters, looking askance. Is Enjin annoyed that he found Rudo digging through the kitchen in the middle of the night?
“What–what are you doing up?”
The boy asks, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Enjin is so mysterious…
“Makin’ tea. Can't sleep.”
Enjin says with a tired smile, hands going through the motions of brewing his drink with practiced ease, if a bit sluggish.
“Want some?”
Rudo considers the offer, then remembers how Arkha Corvus's coffee tasted and shakes his head. He can't trust these adult's choice in drinks anymore.
“Your loss.”
Enjin shrugs.
“Just try to get at least a few hours tonight, kid. You still got a job tomorrow, remember?”
“Yeah, I know…”
Rudo huffs, picking up the small box of his prized cleaning supply and getting back to his room.
What Rudo didn't realize as he carefully removed stains, re-stuffed the toy, and sewed it's features back on properly, was that he was sealing his own doom. He looked proudly on the repaired, fixed up stuffie. It was cute. Long, floppy ears, button eyes, and a tiny, round tail. It was still missing half an arm, slightly leaning to one side because of the weight disparity. But Rudo remembered what Enjin said about the bunny being strong, and found that it didn't really bother him all too much.
Once he was finally ready to turn in for his few hours of sleep at Enjin's request (three counts as ‘a few’, right?) Rudo realized something. The rabbit looked sort of lonely, next to all of his other projects—sharp scrap metal and rusty old appliances. It was so out of place. The poor thing got fixed up, taken to a home, only to be left in a smaller pile of junk?
It was sad.
The bunny…didn't belong there. Soft things belong with soft things. Stuffies are made to be cherished, to provide comfort…
The idea of putting the stuffed toy in his bed was…kind of mortifying. He was fifteen! And a guy. It was definitely weird of him to have something like that. Dear has a pacifier at ten, and he doesn't get bothered about it…but vital instruments are different. And really, Rudo was different. Who wouldn't get on his case about it? He imagines Enjin's face and grimaces. He would laugh, for sure. Zanka's look of disdain. Riyo would probably just tease, but…
Would they…think of Rudo differently? (Weaker? Weirder? Gross?)
The stuffie looked so alone, soft and clean surrounded by rust and sharp edges. It looked sad. Did it have a friend who decided it wasn't worth keeping? It fell all this way. Rudo thinks he would be scared. If he were the bunny.
He wakes up early. He could put it back in the morning, and no-one would see. It would feel like torturing the poor thing to have it staring at him from the workstation while he laid in his bed. Making it sit in the corner. Alone.
Rudo puts the stuffed animal in his bed. In an attempt to settle his embarrassment, he reminds himself that he's just keeping it until he finds the right person to give it away to. And eventually, pointedly turned away from the stuffed toy, he manages to drift off to sleep.