Chapter Text
The town doesn’t even look real when Ezra first sees it.
It feels unfinished, strip malls with half the letters missing, sun-bleached banners that were advertising a county fair from two years ago still flapping in the wind over Main Street, an old and rusted water tower in the distance. The cicadas were louder than Ezra could have ever imagined, and the smell of gasoline was even worse.
His dad calls it quaint. Ezra feels sick to his stomach.
The house is worse. It was small, not abandoned but it was obvious that no one had cared for it in a long time. Beige walls, thin, scratchy carpets. The backyard sloped in a way that would make mowing it annoying. The house had a weird smell to it, just enough for it to linger and creep up on you when you least expect it. Ezra was shoved into what was supposed to be a home office. His dad says he’ll be going to college soon, anyways.
Ezra just nods. Compliance is key.
“Your bed frame’s not getting here until Tuesday. You’ll manage with just the mattress.” Josh grunted just as he pushed the old twin mattress through the door, letting it fall onto the floor with a loud plop. Ezra just nodded. His dad was easy to please. Just agree with everything he says, and Ezra never gets met with pushback.
He put his clothes in his dresser. Put his very sparse decor up, trying too hard to make it look perfect. Once he was done, he laid down on his bare mattress. He didn’t care enough to help Josh and Stephanie move what furniture they fit in the U-Haul they had driven there by a guy who looked like he definitely was not paid enough. It was easy for Ezra to zone out when he scrolled on his phone. He just scrolled mindlessly until he fell asleep with the phone in his hand, playing the same video over and over.
Ezra woke up to a cold, dead phone, and a stiff neck. He didn’t bother putting it on the charger. He knew no one texted him. He went into the bathroom once Stephanie was done with her stupid makeup routine that did nothing for her. He brushed his teeth. Got in the shower, letting the water sting his arms and legs. He didn’t look down at himself once. He just let the pain wash over him, and let it dissolve as he got out of the shower, and dressed in the same clothes he was wearing before.
Ezra skipped breakfast, and went straight back to bed. He said he was just tired from the long car ride here, and Josh just shrugged and went back to unboxing whatever they hadn't gotten a chance to unbox yesterday. He just sat on his bed, staring at the floor until he started nodding off. Only then did he let himself lie down, and fall asleep. He woke up hours later when Josh and Stephanie were sleeping.
In the darkness he shuffled into the bathroom, squinting at the buzzing light when it flicked on. He closed the door behind him, and searched for the scale he knew they were hiding. He stripped all of his clothes off, and stepped on the scale. No change from the last time he weighed himself two days ago.
Fuck.
Another wasted day.
The next week passes by quietly. Ezra sleeps most of the time. Eats dinner most nights, if he's even awake. Then Josh told him that he needed to sign up for football. Stephanie agreed, and said it would keep Ezra out of trouble. He didn't know what trouble he had ever been in, but he just nodded. And he didn’t think about saying no, or saying he could join a club instead. He just went with it.
Ezra was dropped off at the school's self proclaimed “football camp”, and he was immediately singled out. The new kid on the team. He was forced to stand in front of the entire team next to the coach.
“Introduce yourself.” The coach said gruffly, patting him on the back just a little too hard.
“My name's Ezra. I'm a senior.. Just moved here.” He muttered, just loud enough for the coach to tell the team what position Ezra would be playing. It all went in one ear and out the other. It was far too early for him to be outside in the heat. He wore a long sleeve shirt and pants, trying to hide what marred his skin. The coach told him to change during lunch. Said he couldn't have a kid fainting on his watch.
Ezra walked into the locker room and went into his backpack, searching for a t-shirt at least. Obviously, he didn’t pack one. A few boys were in the locker room with him, messing around near the showers. One of them noticed Ezra searching through his bag, and pointed at him, laughed within their little group, and he could've sworn he heard them calling him a faggot. He just let them. He walked back outside and told the coach he didn't have a short sleeve shirt.
Whatever the coach said was water under the bridge to Ezra. That's when he laid eyes on Simon. Blonde hair, a smile that looked like he hadn't seen any troubles in his entire life. His heart did a weird thumping he's never felt before. He only snapped out of it once the coach waved his hand in front of his face. Told him to bring a change of clothes everyday. Ezra just nodded and went into the bathroom. He dug his nails into his skin until his heart stopped beating so hard.
A few of the boys started shaking the stall door, saying something about the faggot sitting down to pee. He barely even heard it over the spund of blood rushing in his ears. Ezra just stood there, scratching his arms until it burned.
The only thing he could remember from football camp was Simon. How he looked when he was sweaty. When he smiled and laughed. When he showered. And how he looked at Ezra like he was the scum of the Earth.
That was the only thing that made Ezra realize that he didn’t have a chance.