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White Lily Cookie sat on their bed, well now her bed. It was strange to wake up in a land so familiar, yet so empty.
How strange, she thought, that without one person a place could feel so empty. The spiral of forks that spun up the bed frame that had once reminded her of a home. Well, what she imagined a home would feel like.
Now, just a reminder of what had been sacrificed because of her.
Elder Faerie should still be alive, by all merits. If she hadn’t been so foolish. If she hadn’t been so weak. He still would be. She felt his touch under her fingers like he had never taken his hands off her. Brushing her hair out of her face as she was trying to read some old faerie song. Or the calming, sweet taste of petal tea on a warm afternoon.
Or the fact she would never get to tell him.
How would she even phrase such thoughts? It was ridiculous really, some lone traveller with nothing but a soul jam and a stupid, stupid idea to her name, and the Faerie King? She couldn’t – didn’t – even see him in that way, did she? Her mission took precedent, anything else was a distraction.
But she could never forget the way he looked at her on her first meeting, stoic and cold. His pale gaze eyeing her up and down whilst he questioned how she made it through the fog. But she noticed something else that day too, a hint of surprise and warmth. Like seeing an old friend again.
And no one was ever let into the Faerie Kingdom, yet she was. That couldn’t have meant nothing to him? She thought, knowing there was no way to ever know for sure now.
It was funny really, in that moment the grinding of teeth, the crushing of forks, the burning agony of an oven that so often plagued her mind didn’t seem like that big of a deal.
She turned to look outside.
The faeries were continuing their mourning song, as they had been doing for a week now. And would probably continue to do for at least another few years. It would be a miracle if the entirety of Beast Yeast and beyond didn’t know about the fate of the late Faerie King, and the brave Lily who returned, once again, to save them all.
Brave was the word they used, White Lily could think of a few better descriptors.
It was really quite a beautiful song, despite its bittersweet tone. Just pleasant enough she could try and turn her mind off, and sink back into a better time.
It had been so long since she had been in the Faerie Kingdom, hadn’t it? Though, she supposed this version of her had never left.
Getting a new body was a… strange… feeling to say the least. Dark Enchantress’s thoughts spun around in her head, fleeting but ever-present. Hard to describe aloud, but all too easy to understand. Alien, but undeniably hers.
And it was terrifying.
She looked down at her arm again – completely smooth – like a freshly baked cookie. Devoid of evidence of that oven. That damn oven. And the way it hardened her skin into place, paralysed, until she could be paralysed no more. And then burnt, blackening her skin as crumbs spilled off first her arms, then her legs. Then-
Thankfully, she was not left alone for long, he wouldn’t let her be.
“White Lily Cookie, are you in there..?” rang out Pure Vanilla Cookie’s warm voice, waiting for a response.
White Lily Cookie smiled. How could she not? Pure Vanilla just had that effect on people. Even since their academy days he had always been able to raise spirits by virtue of existing. She let out a quiet “Come in.” with a deceptively happy voice.
Pure Vanilla Cookie stood in the doorway for a moment. A warmth twinging his cheeks, robes swishing slightly as the door behind shut. The staff eyed her, with its usual uncannily vacant expression, one she had grown a strange fondness for by now. Glowing as usual, but dampened slightly by the concern evident on his face.
White Lily Cookie shifted herself slightly to the left, signifying to Pure Vanilla to sit beside her, which seemed to soften his expression marginally as he did so.
As he moved closer, White Lily turned away and buried her head in her hands. She didn’t have the right to face him like this, but he was here regardless. Like she always knew he would be.
Pure Vanilla gave her a moment – she would need it, and for now, they had all the time in the world.
“White Lily Cookie...” Pure Vanilla began, opening his eyes slightly and wearing a shy smile, even if she was not turned to see it, he hoped it would shine through in his voice.
She did not reply, sinking into herself with each word. What could she even say? The other realm, the Dark Flour War, even just for leaving him. Where was she supposed to begin?
It really was pathetic. Even with a thousand years to mull it over she still couldn’t think of a simple apology. She trembled, perhaps foolishly. She knew he could never hate her, he had never truly hated anyone in the many lifetimes they had known each other. But maybe in this case that was against his better judgement.
“How are you feeling?” A filler question really, he knew what the answer was. He placed his hand near her shoulder, hoping she would retreat into it, but her reluctance to do so was not taken as an offence.
“I’m so sorry!” White Lily said quietly, but the tone felt like a scream. She used her hands to muffle her voice. And tears streamed down her face and over her hands like a waterfall. Forming a small puddle on her lap.
Pure Vanilla flinched slightly at the sudden display of emotion. White Lily had always been rather reserved. Not even when she had doomed the entire Blueberry Yogurt Academy had she displayed such emotion. Pure Vanilla opened his arms slightly, and White Lily subconsciously leapt into the hug.
He did not let her see, but he couldn’t help but ponder the dichotomy of the White Lily Cookie he had known for so long. Sometimes, in moments like this, he felt he could read her like she was a part of his own mind, how she felt, what she needed.
But others, even seeing a glimpse of the true her, the version he thought he knew for so long, was like trying to uncover one of those ancient unreadable scrolls they always used to attempt. Just when it all starts making sense – some small word or phrase sends everything flying back to square one.
Part of him couldn’t help but wonder if she spent half as much time thinking about him as he spent trying to thinking about her.
White Lily Cookie ran out of tears fast, choking out pathetic sobs and turning away from Pure Vanilla in shame. He waited a moment, and placed his hands, which had fallen into her lap, over hers.
“White Lily Cookie… it’s ok. We’ll defeat Dark Enchantress Cookie, and everything will be alright.” He wavered slightly in that last line, he really did not know if everything would be “alright”, there was no plan for defeating Dark Enchantress. But what worried him more is what would happen after. But for right now, she didn’t need to think about all that.
All that consideration fell on deaf ears, though. White Lily stared blankly down at the floor. She needed to say something. Words bubbled under her tongue ready to burst any moment. But she couldn’t find the right way to vocalise them.
“But that’s not all you’re upset about, is it?” Pure Vanilla Cookie spoke like a respite. White Lily sat paralysed for a moment. Before shaking her heavy head as much as she could with her limited strength.
She looked down at her fingertips, and they buzzed with a sensation that was only familiar from another’s touch, “The Guardian’s power, Elder Faerie entrusted it to me…” she looked back up at Pure Vanilla, and their eyes met for what must’ve been the first time in a millennia, though to her, it must have only felt like a few years. “I don’t understand… Why…?”
Pure Vanilla tightened his grip on her hands slightly for a moment. The pressure allowing her to come into herself for a bit. She muttered out a few more apologies under her breath that he did not catch, but listened to nonetheless.
“Elder Faerie trusted you…” He began, blushing slightly whilst pushing his hands up her too-smooth arm, which made her flinch slightly, “And I trust you, White Lily Cookie. You don’t have to be Dark Enchantress Cookie any more.” he smiled at her, and she pulled her arm back from his touch.
She calmed herself, which seemed to calm Pure Vanilla in turn, even if she did not feel better, “He shouldn’t have, I- I hurt everyone. I didn’t even get to-”
Her stutter slowly faded into nothing as she distanced herself from him again. Pure Vanilla let her.
“He was a good friend,” he, somehow, kept smiling his incessant smile at her, “You should trust his judgement, I do.”
She couldn’t help but flush a bit at the sudden praise, which Pure Vanilla seemed to be slightly proud of. “He-” she hesitated for a second, “He was a great friend.” It wasn’t a good time to say the intricacies aloud, especially not to him.
She tightened the hug a bit, and he returned the favour, it was strange, to have their arms around each other like this again. Not entirely certain where the other began or ended. Pure Vanilla, not even a few hours ago, had been almost certain he would ever see her face again. Being replaced by some cruel mockery of her likeness.
But ever-resilient she was, and she was here again.
It reminded him of the time at the Academy, he said, where she had accidentally turned another one of her classmates, who’s name escaped them both now, into some sort of bird. They disagreed on the species.
They were only young, in their first year, and the spell was easy enough for a professor to fix, but naturally the classmates were angry, as someone often was with her back then. So she went to class the next day to find her favourite book, something about the stars, strewn in pages across the classroom.
And of course, it was a banned book, so she got in trouble for that as well.
“And you stuck with me, all night… even if you hardly knew me.” she snickered, now laying beside him, “Trying your best to wash the silly book with water.”
She laughed at the memory, genuinely. Warmth spreading throughout her dough like some sort of parasite. Each chuckle forcing its way out of her with the ease. Pure Vanilla somehow smiled even more at this, his eyes being almost closed with how high they had been raised.
He laughed with her, “I had hardly seen a book before the academy, I wasn’t accepted on my reading prowess.”
They laughed again, a tranquil peace, despite everything outside, in her room.
Maybe he shouldn’t keep waiting, he thought, as he pressed her hands into hers. The words bubbled beneath his tongue, he knew all too well what they were trying to say. They had always been there.
“I love you, White Lily Cookie.” But they never came out quite right.
She smiled weakly, the parts of her he didn’t understand, the parts of her that he had briefly managed to forget about, resurfaced: “I love you too, Pure Vanilla.”
But he knew they both had different interpretations of what that meant.
Pure Vanilla held his tongue.
And maybe they both had to be ok with that.