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It was June 10th, 1989- Mike's high school graduation. It felt like no time had passed from that traumatic night back in '87 when he was forced to say goodbye to the love of his young life- El. His heart had been left with a gaping hole ever since. The first few weeks after it all went down were unbearable, he barely wanted to get out of bed and it took both Dustin and Lucas to drag him out those first few days. Will unfortunately was dealing with his own demons- Mike couldn't really blame him though, El was like a sister to him and they had spent so much time together as a family out in California a few years back. Nancy and the older guys did their best to check up on Mike as much as they could too, but nothing seemed make him smile, at least genuinely anymore. Well, here we are almost two years after the tragic events and although the pain had subsided as the months passed, that same familiar pain hit Mike right in the chest as soon as he opened his eyes this morning. The morning he and his friends would be officially saying goodbye to Hawkins, and their childhoods- that were filled with anything but normalcy.
The sun shone through his curtains as Mike sat up, yawning and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. He turned to look at the framed photo of him and El that he had kept on his nightstand for years. "Happy graduation beautiful." Mike leaned over and grabbed the frame, kissing it gently before placing it back down next to his alarm clock. It was going to take every ounce of strength to get through this day- this day that should be so exhilarating and monumental, but it just felt like hell.
Mrs. Wheeler tried to cheer up her son by making his favorite breakfast, and letting him watch TV on the couch while he ate. She could tell for days leading up to the graduation that Mike was acting different. But she knew why. Everyone did.
The phone rang- startling Mike as he was trying to stomach the pancakes and bacon his mom so kindly made him. He didn't have the heart to tell her that he had no appetite so he tried his best to eat a few bites.
"Michael that was Mrs. Byers, she was just letting me know we should be there in about a half hour for the graduation- Jonathan is already there just setting up his camera."
Mike sighed as he pushed his plate back on the tray. "Yup. I got it mom. Listen, I'm just going to take a walk before everything so I'll just meet you guys there if that's alright?"
"Are you...you're sure honey?" Karen smiled sadly at her son, she normally would've never stood for this, but she knew how awful this day was going to be for Mike. She couldn't imagine the feelings he was having about El not being there to walk across the stage with him and all their friends.
Mike nodded and walked over to kiss his mom on the cheek, promising he would make it on time. He started walking up towards the center of town- he didn't feel like driving, he needed to clear his head for a while. Life felt like one giant scam, he though to himself. He loved his friends- genuinely and was so happy for each of them, but it felt like life had smacked him right in the face when El chose to sacrifice herself. Sure, everyone took her death hard, but everyone seemed to be able to find their peace in it. Dustin had Suzie- and despite them eventually parting ways, he always bounced back so quick, and besides, he had Steve-those two were attached at the hip ever since that stupid summer at the mall. Lucas had Max, and talk about attached at the hip...those two were nauseatingly inseparable. And even Will seemed to eventually move on- he joined some new clubs at school- and Robin helped him get into the band where he took up playing the clarinet. I guess he was taking the avoid your feelings by staying ultra-busy route, but hey it worked. And then there was Mike...just floating through the last year and a half, trying to erase the pain he felt. It worked for most of the time, and he stayed pretty tight with the boys, they still played D&D, and he and Nancy and Holly were shockingly getting along. But his heart was still empty.
After what felt like hours, Mike found himself sitting on the bench in the center of town- just watching as all the people wandered by. He wondered how much time he had until graduation began. He forgot to bring his watch, so for all he knew the whole thing was already over, and he could handle the wrath of his family and friends for missing such an important day on his own.
"Dude I TOLD you!" Mike heard the voices of someone familiar in the distance. He turned his head and saw Dustin and Lucas pointing at him and jogging over. "Great." he thought.
As they approached the bench, Mike looked up and gave a half-hearted wave to his best friends. "So...you found me boys."
"Mike, what are you doing man? We have to be at graduation in literally...5 minutes ago!" Dustin spit out, still out of breath from running all the way over.
"Seriously dude, what's going on? Are you okay?" Lucas sat down, patting his hand on Mike's shoulder, as Dustin took the other side.
"I can't do it." Mike muttered out, looking down at his feet. He felt his throat close up, and his vision go blurry. Why was this already making him so emotional?
Dustin and Lucas looked over at each other both knowing exactly what their friend meant. "Look man...you don't have to say anything. We...we know today was going to be hard." Lucas said softly as he threw his arm over Mike's shoulder.
"Yeah, and we won't sit here and tell you to just forget about it...about her, but she would want you to be happy..." Dustin started to say before Mike threw his hands into his face aggressively rubbing his eyes. "That's BULLSHIT guys. She would've wanted to be here, with US, with all of us. It just kills me that we all get to sit here because of her and she'll never get to..." Mike started to shake as sobs hit his body.
Dustin leaned over putting his arms on Mike's back, trying to be as comforting as possible. His heart was broken in its own way...but nothing compared to what Mike was dealing with. "You're right...none of this is fair." he said softly, as he rubbed his hand up and down in attempt to get Mike to stop shaking.
"It is bullshit...and there's nothing anyone can do to make it better, or bring her back. But...but maybe there's a way we can help you move on" Lucas spoke up after some time.
Mike picked his head up, his eyes red from the tears. "Yeah...how?" he sniffled out. Nothing would make this pain go away.
"You got to stop blaming yourself for what happened man. And before you tell us, we have no idea that's what El would say or would want- we know that. But we also know you...and we know it's been eating you up inside all year at how you could've stopped her, or done something different that night." Dustin spoke up, tears filling his own eyes now.
"But I could have...that's the thing guys...maybe if it had said..." Mike was still refusing to believe the outcome wasn't already written in stone by El.
Lucas shook his head. "Mike. It isn't your fault. It wasn't then, and it still isn't now. You have to listen to us."
Dustin drew in a shaky breath. "Listen. I know what it feels like to think someone's death was your doing- or you could've done more in your power to prevent it." He paused to look away, as tears escaped his eyes. He always got emotional talking about Eddie- even indirectly.
Mike swallowed, choking back more tears of his own. He knew what Dustin was referring to. That spring after Eddie died was one of the worst times- he never thought he would see Dustin happy again. "Yeah. Yeah you're right..." he said looking over at his friend.
"I just...it just hurts especially on days like today that's all." Mike leaned over and put his chin in his hands as memories of he and El started to come flooding back. The first moment they met...that infamous night in the woods. All the adventures they would have...
"Come on man...let's do this for El." Lucas stood up holding out his hand. Dustin stood up too. "We got you. Always, okay?"
Mike sighed and stood up. He fell into both Dustin and Lucas who caught him in a three-way hug. "Wait...is Will...is he okay?" Mike felt like such a moron for not asking before.
"He's alright. We checked on him before coming here...we all need you though, we can't graduate without us all together." Lucas said.
Mike nodded. He knew what he had to do now. The pain might always be there, but without these boys, none of this would be possible. He truly had the greatest friends in the world. And he knew El would always be watching over them.