Chapter Text
These days, when she went to work, Shin Ae had adopted a new strategy that she liked to call “pretending I am anywhere but here.” Even after over a year of working at Hirahara Corp, Shin Ae still managed to hate everyone and everything. She hated seeing that witch; she hated having to see Sang-Chul; she hated the way the employees gossiped; she hated how monotonous this job was; she could go on. So pretending she was at home, or at a restaurant, or at the Parks, or essentially anywhere else, managed to keep her from making eyes at the clock on the wall in the hopes it would get her out of here sooner. And so while Shin Ae attempted to get through Kousuke’s paperwork and imagine being anywhere else, she saw the new senior assistant approach her. Shin Ae glanced at him curiously; he wasn’t an awful person by any means, but his sudden appearance was accentuated acutely by Jayce’s sudden disappearance. A much-needed leave was the answer both Kousuke and Yui Hirahara had given, though Shin Ae doubted its veracity. But her push for answers met a dead end, so Shin Ae could only hope the man was okay.
“Miss Yoo,” the New Assistant said. Shin Ae looked up from her stack of work. “The Chairman wants to see you. He wants to meet during your break.”
“Okay, you can tell him I’ll see him then,” Shin Ae answered, racking her brain for any reason Yeong-gi’s dad would want to see her. She hadn’t made any major blunders recently, and of course, now there was no case regarding Yeong-gi or Nol or whoever he was. Shin Ae felt a pang in her chest at the thought, which she quickly shoved away. The last thing she needed was to dwell on him and the relationship he clearly wanted to abandon. Right now, she had more pressing matters to deal with in her own life. Like this meeting with his hot but terrible father.
***
Shin Ae had come to hate Randulph Hirahara’s office in her time here. On top of the room being terribly large for just one man’s meeting space, the room was poorly lit and sparsely decorated. The only sign of life was his nasty chocolate balls, which sat in a dull box in the center of his table. He might be the only person in the entire world who eats black licorice chocolate and probably keeps them in production. Taking a seat, Shin Ae resisted the urge to gag, not just at the chocolates, but at the sight of Randulph Hirahara. Since she learned of his treatment of Nol and his mother, as well as his marriage to Yui of all people, Shin Ae always felt uneasy and a bit disgusted around the man.
“Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Miss Yoo.”
Well, it's not like I have much of a choice. “It’s no problem,” Shin Ae responds with a tight-lipped smile on her face
“I have a proposition for you,” Randulph continues. “Well, it's a more personal request, but I hope you will respond favorably, Miss Yoo.” He pauses, and Shin Ae raises her eyebrows, prompting him to continue.
“Nol’s grandmother is taking a visit to Ireland, and I would like you to accompany her.”
“You mean, Nora? You want me to go to Ireland with Nora?”
“Yes, it will be during your break, so you won’t have to worry about your university classes. If finances are an issue, I am able and willing to fund any expenses you may have. If you worry about a handout, you needn’t worry much. Eleanor is a very economical travel-”
“Okay, slow down,” Shin Ae responds, lifting her hands. “First off, why? Nora seems to do well enough on her own, and no offense, she doesn’t need a chaperone.”
“I know Eleanor can manage herself. I worry because lately age has been catching up to her. She has not been in a flourishing physical condition as of late.” He pauses, and Shin Ae watches him take a cautionary glance around the room. “It could be age, but in this family…” he trails off. Shin Ae stares at him, thinking back to Yeong-gi; a lot of her thoughts seem to be doing that lately. She thinks of the tea which he claims slowly poisoned his mother, of Nora’s recent weakness, her more frequent illnesses. She recalls party gossip about Yui allegedly causing her late brother’s illness. Her mind fills Rand’s gaps with the unspoken theory or maybe fact.
“Okay, I am not saying I’m opposed to going, but shouldn’t Nora be consulted in this discussion?” Shin Ae asks, “I don’t want to show up at the airport unannounced and have her stress over her plans.”
“I already broached the subject with her,” Rand responds. “Of course, she insisted that she was fine and didn’t need you to come. But she wasn’t wholly opposed to the idea. She should be coming by your house today to ask you the same question. I just wanted to know your answer.”
Shin Ae pauses. She has never been abroad. It’s been a far-off dream, one kept away from her by the constant problems that plague her life. Traveling is an exciting experience, so people say, and Nora wouldn’t be a bad companion. She knows the country and the people, and Shin Ae doesn’t mind being around her. The trip could be fun, and if it helps Nora and puts her loved ones' minds at ease, Shin Ae would not be totally opposed to going.
But there are cons too, Shin Ae thinks as she mulls over. Minhyuk would be back for the break. If Shin Ae’s gone for a break, she’d miss her opportunity to see him or spend time with him, in-person at least. And there’s a more pressing issue: her father. Papa would be alone for the time she’s gone. Sure, he could stay with the Parks, but if anything happens, if his health worsens and his problems return, Shin Ae would be too far away to help him. Just the thought crushes her insides and eats at her. She doesn’t know if she could live with herself if that happened.
Reading the indecision on her face, Rand breaks the silence of her thoughts, “England and Ireland are not far.” Shin Ae’s head jerks up at his words. “You could take a flight, it isn’t a long journey. Or you could always take a ferry and a train, it's an inexpensive option in comparison to a flight.”
He’s baiting her. Shin Ae’s not an idiot, contrary to Kousuke’s ramblings. He’s taking advantage of her feelings to try to get what he wants. And what’s worse is that it’s working.
*****
At home, in her bed, Shin Ae forces herself to open her messages app. The most recent texts are standard ones, from her dad, Maya, Rike, MinHyuk, Kousuke, and Dieter. She scrolls further down until another name catches her eye: Yeong-gi. She sees their last message, or rather her last message, really, from back in October.
hey
hows oxford going
?
He’d read the message, just like he’d read the message she’d sent before wishing him good luck on his first semester of college, just like he’d read her message wishing him a safe flight. And just like all the others, he never bothered to respond. At least before she’d been blocked, she didn’t have to feel pathetic watching him read all her messages and just ignoring her. Especially after what happened before he left. The last thing they both needed after that was distance. But instead of trying to remedy it, Yeong-gi or Nol or whatever he wanted to be called just shoved it under the rug. He could avoid her when they were thousands of miles apart, but if she showed up in person, as she had at his school, he couldn’t ignore her. That would be low, even for him.
She closed out their messages, not bothering to text him about her recent proposition. If anything, it’d make him fly back here for winter break, rather than staying in Europe. She continued to mull over the decision. Seeing him again felt like an impossible dream coming true. If she and Yeong-gi just had a chance to talk, if she could try to convince him again, she could fix their relationship. Or knowing her luck, it all might blow up in her face. He’d run away, and she’d be left feeling just as miserable, except this time she’d be thousands of miles from home. She mulled over the decision again and came to the conclusion she needed a second opinion, and maybe a third.
“Yes! You should go, Shin Ae! Actually, you have to go!” Maya Park’s shrill voice carried through the speaker, “On top of essentially getting a free trip, where your saintly conscience will be soothed by the fact you’re taking care of an old woman. And ooooh if you show up outside your redhead’s door, he’ll have to rekindle your relationship again! It always works out like that.”
“In what world? Maybe in your romance comics, but not for me.” Shin Ae responded, immediately regretting her decision to include Maya in this discussion.
“Plus, there’s no relationship to rekindle,” Minhyuk buts in, “If anything, even if Shin Ae goes, the last thing she should do is see that redhead. From what I’ve seen, all he does is bring trouble and make you miserable.” Shin Ae frowned at his words and opened her mouth to offer a rebuttal, but MinHyuk just continued on. “I do think the trip itself isn’t a bad idea. You are essentially traveling internationally with no strings attached.”
“It would be paid for by a Hirahara; there’s always strings attached.”
“Yea, taking care of the redhead’s grandmother, which you already kinda do,” Maya interjected
“Look, she’s a sweet woman, and I go and keep her company. I do it for me as much as for her. Plus, she’s a great cook; her potatoes are the best.”
“And you can eat those potatoes in Ireland! While seeing a new country and maybe your crushy-wushy and the two of you could have a romanti-”
“Maya, I am going to remove you from this call.”
Maya sighed apologetically before Shin Ae continued, “But I’d be worried about my dad as well. I don’t want him to be alone.”
“He could stay at our place with Ma,” MinHyuk suggested. “She’d be more than happy to, and she’d make sure he’s fine.”
“I don’t doubt your mom. I am just worried, y’know.”
“I know, Shin Ae, but he’d want you to get to have amazing opportunities. And you wouldn’t want to build unnecessary resentment.”
“I don’t resent him at all.”
“We all know that’s not true, Shin Ae,” Maya said. “You snap at him whenever he has to work an extra shift, or you just kick your bed frame until you hurt your foot. Then you just complain on your bed.”
“Ugh,” Shin Ae groaned, “Why does every decision have to be so complicated?”
“Look, we gave you our… varying opinions, but ultimately it’s up to you and what you want. Talk to your dad and get his opinion, if you want. But at the end of the day, Shin Ae, you’re the one who is gonna have to go. Make a decision that you think is right for you,” MinHyuk offered
“Yea, it's all up to you and what you want, Shin Ae. There’s no harm in making a choice for yourself,” Maya added
****
Nora had come by in the evening, bearing a plate of boxty. She’d essentially told Shin Ae what Rand had told her, though Nora had omitted any mention of Nol. She knew he wasn’t really talking to her either, and her resignation to give him space, so maybe the subject was touchy. Anyways, Shin Ae didn’t bother to bring it up.
“I know it isn’t every 18-year-old girl’s dream to spend her break with a bunch of old folks in the Irish countryside, but I would love it if you came,” She’d said, and Shin Ae couldn’t help a smile from creeping on her face. In the end, she’d told Nora she’d have to think about it and would text her response by the end of the week.
While she stayed up, trying to study for her midterms, she heard the door creak open.
“Papa,” she’d exclaimed, getting up to meet him at their apartment’s entrance, “You’re back. How was work?”
“Yup,” he sighed, “Rough day, but you know how it is around the holidays.”
“Yea,” she said, glancing nervously, as he set his work bag down. He’d been sober for almost a year now, but Shin Ae couldn’t help but be cautious. Every time he grumbled about money troubles or a hard day at work, she found herself inspecting the apartment to ensure he didn’t bring a beer in.
“How was school and work for you?” Sim Han asked, taking a seat on their sofa.
“Uhh, fine,” she shrugged as she went to take a seat next to him. “Actually, I have something I want to talk to you about.”
“Okay,” Her father responded, turning his gaze toward her.
“You know, my friend Yeong-gi, the redhead?” Her father let out a groan in response
“You know I’m not too fond of him.”
“Yes, well, his Grandmother is going to Ireland over the break, and she asked me to accompany her.” She watched her father’s eyes widen a bit, but she decided to keep pushing. “She’d have the expenses covered, and it’d just be for the two weeks of break. I’d be back in January, about a week before the semester starts up.”
“Okay, slow down,” Sim Han responded, holding up his hands, “So she wants you to come with her, but why?”
“She’s getting older, y’know, and some of her… relatives are worried about her health. She’s fond of me, and I like her a lot too, so it’s not a bad fit. But if you need me here, Papa, I can stay here for the break.”
“She’s not having you meet her grandson, is she?”
“No, Yeong-gi’s at Oxford, and it’s not like he’s spoken to me since he left,” Shin Ae responded, ignoring the sharp sting of her words.
“So you’d just be in Ireland with her?”
“Yes. But again, you are my first priority. If you need me to stay here, I ca-”
“Shin Ae.” Her father interrupted, “Do you want to go?”
“I mean, it’s not a bad idea. I’d get to travel and see someplace new. Plus, I’ll admit I do feel a bit nervous about Nora traveling alone with her health. But I wanted to talk to you about it first, Papa. I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“Shin Ae, I’m 36 years old, I think I can handle being alone by myself.”
Shin Ae chuckled
“But we’re a team, Shin Ae, and being a team means supporting each other’s decisions. If you want to go, I don’t want to be the reason you give up on what you want. One of my biggest regrets, even if you say it’s not important, is that your life hasn’t been the easiest, at least financially. If I could have, I would’ve loved to take you abroad myself. But if you want to go now, I would be more than happy that you get to have all these new experiences. Whatever you choose, kiddo, I’ll support it.” Sim Han reached over and pulled her into a hug on the couch, Shin Ae nestling into him.
“I think,” Shin Ae said, after a moment, “I want to go. Will you be fine here?” She asked, looking up at him.
“I’ll probably stay at Mina’s while you’re away, then. And just to make sure, you won’t be seeing your… friend while you’re there, just his grandmother?” Sim Han gritted out
“Yes, Papa,” Shin Ae laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to text you as much as I can and call every night.”
“Don’t worry, I trust you, kiddo,” Sim Han responded, “I can’t believe how fast you’re growing up, going to college, traveling alone, it feels like just yesterday you were a little girl playing with your trucks.” He sniffled a bit
“Oh, stop it, Papa. You’re making everything all sappy,” Shin Ae exclaimed, reaching for her phone. She opened Nora’s number.
Hello Nora! I’ve decided I will be coming with you!
Maybe it was a bit of a selfish decision, but if Shin Ae’s learned one thing from her ordeals, it’s that you can’t please everyone. And if she wanted Yeong-gi to come to his senses, she’d have to take a page out of his book.