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It was half past nine, and I was completely alone.
Since I had no work orders to do myself like talking to Lucas’s sister at the new hospital, I decided to stay back at Courunne—or my new home, and take care of the remaining chores, while Yves went out to deal with patrol work with the Corps alongside Adolphe and Hugo.
I’d already dealt with the household chores like dusting around the house, washing the laundry, and getting our dinner ready, now left cold on the stovetop. I didn't want to eat before Yves came back… Having dinner together was something I’d enjoy after handling a full day of chores or work orders.
I idly sat before the clear fishbowl in front of me, feeding Yves’s pet fish—that I’d started calling Puffy, some treats.
Ever since I began living with Yves, I noticed it slowly began to gain weight each day. I knew that was because of me, because I’d been feeding it treats almost everyday.
“...You're getting fatter each day, Puffy, I should cut down on the treats.”
Puffy splashed some water—seemingly understanding what I’m trying to say each time I talked to it.
So cute…
“But I still can't help the fact that you look so unbearably cute when I feed you…!”
I resisted the urge to take the poor fish out and squeeze its cheeks.
Better than having Yves cook it alive though… Makes me wonder how many days Puffy still has remaining before he finally gets to it.
Speaking of which…
I glanced at the wall clock, the hands slowly ticking by each passing second—its sounds being the only noise in the midst of the solitude, minus the sounds of water splashing over the fishbowl.
“Yves sure is taking his time outside with the Corps… I hope he's okay.”
There haven't been many incidents to be dealt with by the Corps in Coene lately, so we’ve been getting more time to do more work orders alongside Hugo as Courrune.
…Other than Yves getting tied up in the most reckless, foolish incidents most of the time while doing the most ridiculous orders on his own, everything was going well for the both of us together, as a “cute” working couple.
It took a while for the people of Coene to accept me as a person after various incidents of the past, but I was slowly getting there. Not just the children who didn't care about the rumors before those even had occurred, but also the merchants in the Marchè, and the nurses of the orphanages that regularly request Hugo and Yves—and now me as well, to play with the kids. Everyone slowly began befriending me, started to get to know me as a person better—outside of just being the “Death” girl that was rumored to have taken the lives of others.
Living with Yves, spending time leisurely at home after his patrol shifts, working together as Courunne, getting along with the people, going out on several dates a week, snuggling into each other after a long day of work…
It was everything I could ask for, something I’d dreamed to live since I was a young child—a simple life as a normal girl, and it was everything that he’d promised to give me.
I’d say being with him changed my life for the better, but that would be a complete understatement, so…
…I’ll forever be indebted to him for everything he sacrificed for me in the past.
Tick… Tick…
Reminiscing about the past few months with Yves gave me a subtle reminder of the desolate loneliness I felt without him.
“I wonder when he will come back home... I miss him.”
I whispered these words out with a heavy sigh, knowing only Puffy was here to listen to me talking to myself.
We’d be eating dinner together at this time, discussing his freshly grown crops in his garden and the exotic recipes that he wished to cook—that perhaps no one but Mathis would be able to enjoy.
That is usually our regular routine, but…
Yves isn't here with me right now.
And I didn't like that at all.
I strangely felt my lips pout at that line of thought, my heart longing for his presence to suppress this feeling of seclusion—even though we just saw each other this morning at breakfast.
Even if it's not the first time I’ve had to be sleeping alone because of his occasional late night patrols or drinking nights till sunrise, I’d still feel lonely every time this happens—but I’d never told Yves that. I didn't want to ruin his night out with his fellow friends just to spend time with me.
Just the thought of missing him right now makes me wonder…
Am I being too greedy to wish for him to be here?
Am I being too full of myself?
Yet, it wasn't hard to finally confess these admittedly selfish feelings now, at least to myself, and to other people around me.
—Or so to say, feelings I should be having when I wholeheartedly love someone like Yves.
Needless to say, everyone I’m close with looks delighted whenever I say something along the lines of missing him. Maybe that's just me, or I’m slowly starting to think for myself now.
…Hopefully I’m not letting these unending feelings get the better of me, though.
Anyway, if there's nothing major going on during his patrols, I knew he'd probably be going drinking out with his fellow companions instead at their regular bar at this hour, or at Adolphe’s. Either way, both of these choices always led to sleeping over at the latter’s cabin, where he rarely slept himself due to his usual late night patrols. That must be a lot of pressure on him as the leader of the Corps, I must say.
I can already imagine his scrunched face out of pure frustration while having to deal with a drunk, completely knocked out Yv—
Knock, Knock!
Loud bangs on the door had interrupted that subconscious imaging, almost jolting me physically out of surprise.
It must be him!
It hardly took me a millisecond to slip out of the chair, nearly tripping my foot out of overwhelming excitement to finally see Yves—then quickly brushing out my now wrinkled dress.
“Just a second!”
I rushed forward, undoing the lock to open the door, expecting the same bright flash of optimistic energy against the gloomy night like usual, except…
“Welcome hom—Yves?! What’s going on?!”
While it was unlike anything before at his own home, it was a familiar sight to me, but I wouldn't have expected him to come back to Courunne in this case.
Yet, my eyes widened at what I had just witnessed.
His hair fully disheveled, long strands poking out of the scrunched ribbon—the irises diverting towards nowhere, body unable to stand up still, completely heavy-headed.
This wasn't the first time I’d seen him like this.
He was completely drunk out of his mind. That wasn't hard to notice.
Of course, he was held up by two of his best friends, Adolphe, also my foster brother—and Hugo, Yves’s partner in crime, both looking weary and tired out from handling a wobbly, unstable Yves, by carrying him all the way back to Courunne.
“I haven't had enoughhhhh, Hugoooo, let go of meee, *hic—*”
He spoke between hiccups, with a bright shade of red warming his cheeks—his eyes half-lidded, probably unable to see anything properly.
“But you're the one who kept fussing about wanting to see her, no?”
And now, his moving eyes just stopped at me, ignoring what Adolphe had said just now.
“*Hic* Cereeeeessss… Is that youuuuu?”
Upon seeing me, his gaze lit up, and now he’s trying to pull himself out of the tight grip from both sides, presumably to reach out to me—almost stumbling in the process.
Hugo’s face scrunched in anger, struggling to balance his weight.
“Ugh! You're going to fall on your face if you keep doing this!”
“Buuuuuut… I waaaanna go to herrrrr…”
Whining out of frustration, he continued to struggle against the unstable hold. I almost felt bad for the two of them, even if I knew they're pretty much used to his shenanigans by now.
“Cersssss… come *hic* heree to meeeee.”
I gave him an awkward chuckle, knowing that my last job for tonight had been decided already—taking care of a drunk Yves until he finally sleeps for the night.
He’ll probably wake up with a massive hangover too, judging from how wobbly he looks, so I’ll need to prepare soup for the morning after…
I’ll probably think about that later, though.
Ignoring that train of thought, I decided to focus on the present matter at hand first.
“Ahahah, I’ll get to you later, Yves, let's get you settled first, okay?”
He pouted, seemingly disappointed.
“No waaaay. I want to hold yooooouuuu. Now. *hic*”
He signaled with his head with a slight jerk, as if calling me over to come hug him, but…
I reluctantly shook my head no, as much as I wanted to run into his arms immediately.
“We’d both fall if you did that. There's no way I’d be able to handle your weight, especially when you're this drunk…”
“Guess I’ll take his whiny ass to bed, then?”
Hugo interrupted the small exchange between us, pointing his finger to the outer door of his room.
I responded with a heavy sigh.
“If you can, please. That would very much be appreciated.”
“You got it.”
With a fatigued smile, he made Adolphe let go of Yves’s body. Holding Yves by the shoulders, he began to move with slow, short steps, making their way to his room, while trying not to make him fall.
I gave a last look at the two of them, noticing Yves whine somewhere along the lines about Hugo not letting him see me.
I chuckled to myself, thinking that he’s not going to let go of me for the rest of the night.
…
I was left alone in the living room with Adolphe, so I broke the lingering silence first.
“I didn't think you all would be drinking tonight… Yves didn't tell me anything about it this morning.”
My gaze wandered towards the now closed door, assuming that Hugo might be taking care of his shoes and clothes.
Muffled noises of Yves’s drunkenness could still be heard till here, but I couldn't decipher any of it.
“None of us expected this, actually. Yves even refused to drink at the bar with the others for the first time ever—saying somewhere along the lines of not telling you he could get late before leaving for work and you probably getting worried sick about him, but…”
I looked back at Adolphe with a questioning look.
“The Corps members pulled him into it, I’m guessing?”
He nodded with an annoyed sigh.
“He's basically the life of the party every time this happens, there's no way they’d go drinking without him. They even kept forcing him to chug down more bottles than usual, too. By the time he lost his senses, he kept crying and whining about wanting to see you—even confessing his feelings to an empty bottle, thinking that it's you. You should've seen his teary face back then… I almost began pitying him because of the pathetic state he was in.”
“Hehe, I can already imagine that happening…”
I giggled at that vision, imagining what he'd just told me.
“Yeah, normally he and the others would crash at my place for the night—but seeing how desperately he wants to see you, Hugo and I decided to carry him back here.”
So the feeling was mutual…?
He… misses me that much, too?
My heartstrings began to tremble at that thought for a brief second, before getting back to the conversation.
“...I’m sorry for the trouble he's caused for both of you.”
Adolphe threaded his fingers into his front hair with a weary expression.
“Don't be, it's not you who made him get this drunk. We're used to this, anyway,” he replied with a chuckle.
I raised him a question that was tinged with concern, feeling bad for them.
“Do you want anything to drink or eat before you go, Adolphe?”
“Nah, don't worry, it's getting late anyways. I need to prepare the patrolling schedule for next we—”
Click!
The loud sound of the door opening and closing stopped Adolphe midway before he could finish his sentence.
Our eyes then turned towards the source of the sound.
“Haaah… God, he's one hell of a thing to deal with.”
Hugo was finally out of Yves’s room—looking even more exhausted than before, taking a cursory look at Adolphe, and then me before speaking up.
“I’m sure that guy's going to be super clingy with you for the rest of the night. He might even sleepwalk later if he's not sober enough within the next few hours… Good luck dealing with that.”
I gave him an awkward smile.
“It's okay, I can handle that. Are you both sure you don't want to have anything before leaving, though?”
“Thanks for the offer, but no, it's pretty late now,” Hugo refused.
I now glanced at the pointy hands of the wall clock, and he was right. It was nearly midnight.
He then turns to Adolphe to ask—
“Should we get going now?”
“Yeah, we should. Gotta prepare the schedule for next week anyways… I won't be getting any sleep tonight.”
Both of them turn their backs to leave, opening the gate to the exit.
Before Adolphe stepped his foot outside of Courunne, he turned his head around to tell me something with a smirk apparent on his face.
“Take care of him well, Ceres. He really loves you a lot, you know that?”
I could feel my cheeks heating up because of his last sentence.
“Haha, I will, yes… Be safe on your way back, both of you.”
They gave a synchronized nod before finally leaving.
I cleaned up a little after they'd left, and set the cold dinner aside.
…Guess I’ll skip dinner tonight. I don't think he can eat anyways.
Once done, I turned off the lights to the living room, and went back towards the other room where Yves might be resting—which had gone quiet by the time Adolphe and Hugo left.
I wonder if he's asleep…?
With that in mind, I stepped foot into his dark room—keeping my steps as quiet as possible, in case he fell asleep.
…
Underneath the soft rays of moonlight, all cut down by the single windowpane, Yves was surely in a deep, peaceful slumber, and doing so in a very unusual position by now—his arms spread over the bed like a starfish laid on the washed out surface of sand, and his legs now dangling at the edge of the wooden bed.
His appearance had changed just slightly—Hugo didn't change his clothes, but he had his hair fully untied, the blue and red uniform cloak now removed, shoes now kept in a separate corner, leaving him behind in his dress shirt and pants.
I slowly walked towards the bed where he's resting, footsteps kept soft and silent.
Once I stopped, catching a glimpse of his now still body, chest rising and falling softly—I took my time to process what just happened to him earlier.
He's had a very long day, I’m sure…
Judging from what Adolphe had described, he doesn't seem to be in a good state right now.
There would be so much in store for us to talk about over dinner, but that’ll have to wait for tomorrow.
Beads of sweat had surfaced on his forehead, and his cheeks still took on the same bright shade of crimson. If one didn't know he was inebriated from all the alcohol he’d chugged down tonight—the first assumption you'd have is that he was down with a bad fever.
I sat down at the edge of his bed, extending my limb towards his damp forehead—pushing the sticky strands of beige hair aside, and brushing off the sweat on top. The searing touch upon the grasp of my bare fingertips only made me think of one thing—he could be down with a fever, but I’d need to repeatedly tell myself that is not actually the case.
Strangely enough, I still pulled back my hand a little at these thoughts, feeling the emergence of an aching sense of worry and concern for his well-being.
Am I overthinking this too much?
My vision felt somewhat hazy, so I didn't notice Yves extending his fingers to ones that had just touched him—slowly grasping onto them, resting my palm on top of his scorching cheek.
I looked back at him in surprise, and his eyes slowly opened, blinking and adjusting to the moonlight.
His irises were now gently gazing upon me, and he weakly parted his lips to speak.
“Ce…res…?”
“Yes… it's me, love.”
My thumb slowly brushed against his cheek, as if I’m wiping his tears away, even if they weren't there in the first place.
“Did I wake you…? I’m sorry…”
His eyelids rose up a little, radiating a sense of joy upon finally seeing me.
And…
Instead of answering my question, he gave me a pleasant smile instead.
“You're hereeee… Finally…”
Perhaps out of a surging impulse, he weakly stretched his weight upwards, pulling himself closer to my body, closing the slightest proximity I’d kept between us—then laid his round head down on the plush of my thighs, adjusting himself until he finally felt comfortable, and wrinkling my dress skirt in the process.
It's just like that time at Adolphe’s, except now…
It's just the two of us this time, alone, in the quietest night—listening to the calm sounds of our own breathing.
There was no one here to tease us… No one to make me feel self-conscious about the status of our relationship.
I thought I didn't deserve him back then, but…
I probably still don't, actually.
Yet… These selfish feelings will never end, not after he chose to love me as the person I wish to be—as a normal girl.
And I couldn't be any happier than this.
…
His mask was still on, so I softly brushed my fingertips against it, the sound of my nails slightly grazing its hard surface—silently asking for permission to remove it… in order to let him fully be himself around me.
There was nothing to be scared of, not when I considered his scars beautiful.
...And he knew that, too.
Yves nods his head weakly, as he lifted himself upwards a little, and I untied the straps from the back of his head—slowly removing it, to reveal a bright shade of crimson hidden beneath the intricate lines of obsidian, with veins that pulsate like that of a visualized heartbeat.
I bent my neck down to deeply kiss that scar, letting the moist flesh of my lips linger.
His eyelids had closed shut, slowly relishing the soft sensation.
And as I pulled back, I whispered to him gently—
“Did you have a good nap before I came back, Yves?”
He responded with a drowsy nod.
“Mm, I probably did, but… I can't remember what happened before this at all. Everything's so hazy… I still can't see you clearly, Ceres. I know you're there, I can feel your warmth now, but…”
I held his hand tightly before he finished speaking, in an attempt to reassure him.
“There's nothing for you to worry about, love. I’m always here with you… I’m not going anywhere.”
…
He extended his arm closer to my face, cupping my cheek within his larger palm.
“I’m so glad I have you with me, Ceres.”
“Me too… Yves.”
Then, I entangled my fingertips on the soft strands of his hair, close to the scalp—slowly massaging it.
Fluffy…!
No matter how many times I’ve stroked his hair like this, I could never get enough of how soft and fluffy it is.
Yves closed his eyes shut at the sudden physical contact, slowly starting to enjoy the softness of my hand brushing against his hair—making him feel rather light-headed.
He muttered something that I could barely hear.
“Soft…”
The corners of my mouth broke into a deep smile.
A surge of joy bloomed inside me—with how he was enjoying being loved and pampered by me, even when he was still besotted and not entirely in touch with reality.
He looked more and more vulnerable by each passing second, almost as if I’m petting a cute puppy.
…
“Nnn…”
Yves involuntarily let out some gentle, yet broken hums, alluding to that of a cat purring.
The way he’s softly nuzzling into these touches more and more somehow reinforced these silly thoughts of mine even more.
“Ceres…”
He further snuggled into my body, wrapping his arm around my torso, pushing his head into my belly—fully relaxing himself into the newfound warmth.
He could just fall asleep on my lap any second, with how much he was enjoying being pampered by me late into the night.
Daybreak wasn't so far, after all.
And by now, I’d completely lost track of the passing time.
…
Yves couldn't even look into my eyes anymore, yet still clinging onto me—his voice now slightly muffled.
“I missed you, Ceres… so much. I couldn't handle another second without you back there, I swear they kept annoying me to no end…”
His voice was slightly sluggish still, inlaid with a deeper, huskier tone than usual—signifying his neediness for more of this proximity and warmth.
He probably won't remember this the next morning… Maybe I can let myself a little loose.
“I missed you too… You didn't tell me you’d be out late… I was worried sick about you. I even prepared dinner and stayed up till late, hoping you’d come home soon.”
That was the truth, yes. I did miss him a lot, but I would never tell a sober Yves something like this just to bother his time with his friends.
He let go of the tight embrace, looking up at me in shock.
“I-I’m sorry! I wanted to come back to you so badly, you can ask Adolphe or Hugo too—but they weren't letting me gooo, and then things happened… and… and…”
I couldn't help but giggle because of how flustered he was.
“Hehe…”
In response to my cheerfulness, Yves ceased his incoherent rambling, staring at me with his lips shaped into a small pout.
My cheeks began to ache from the constant laughter, shoulders shaking—all from seeing this rare side of him. He usually tries to remain calm and composed when sober, but… this is a different type of self that he usually tries to hide.
“Don't laugh at me like thaaaat… I’m being serious here.”
It took me a while to finally stop laughing, as I took in a deep breath to briefly cool myself down.
I then finally turned back to look at Yves, who was now sulking, almost making a serious expression.
“Then in that case… You're not leaving anywhere tomorrow. I want you beside me for the rest of the day.”
He won't remember this. I hope not. I do think Adolphe might give him a day off because he'll get a massive hangover, but then there's the huge load of work orders to deal with, too…
“That's a promise, then… I’ll make it up to you tomorrow for all the worry that I’ve caused you.”
Or… Maybe not.
He looked far too serious about this, drawing a sharp contrast to his neediness from before—not realizing I was kidding.
But then—
I’d decided to seal this promise with a kiss.
I lowered my head to slot my lips against his, still holding his hand, feeling the slightest sign of trembling, but its source was unknown to both of us.
It didn't take me long to pull back first and look deep into his fully dilated pupils, now filled with a reflection of immense passion for that brief second—until Yves pulled me back on that very instant, capturing all his scattered thoughts, now encapsulated into a single fervid kiss.
My neck began to strain a bit due to the rather uncomfortable angle, but...
If this is what Yves wants, then I’ll give it to him for as long as he pleases.
He reeked of the strong odor of alcohol, and I could even taste the slightly unpleasant feeling on the tip of my tongue.
Even so, I was still intoxicated by the divine kiss, and I don’t know why.
It was like a love drug of some sorts that kept pulling me in to keep kissing him over and over.
…I knew I could never get enough of him.
He wrapped an arm around my neck, deepening the kiss—gradually turning this rather tender, romantic moment into something even more intense.
“Mm…”
The unpleasant sensation of bitterness was now far more apparent, yet still, it was the sweetest thing I’d ever tasted. I began losing my composure by then, clenching hard onto his dress shirt, the shuddering of my hand held with his, switching the angle of the kiss every now and then… unable to stop myself.
Pulling back slightly to take shallow breaths, a clear string of saliva was left behind as the only remaining connection between the wet tongues.
I held myself back from continuing any further, realizing what I just did.
…I shouldn’t be taking advantage of him like this.
His calloused fingers wrap around the back of my head, pulling me closer to his face.
“Wait, don't—”
And so, I placed my palm as a barrier—a hindrance placed between our lips, preventing Yves from diving in to passionately kiss me again.
He let out a petulant whine, presumably questioning me why, and I averted my eyes away from his, unable to find the correct words to explain.
It would only take me a brief glimpse to completely let go of these uncontrollable desires.
Trying to hold back these urges, I’d carefully chosen the words I needed to convey my true feelings to him.
And I bowed my head downwards—regret washed over me like a huge tide.
“This isn’t the right time to be doing this… I’m sorry. I think you’ll regret this.”
The hand clenching onto mine had now tightened, with Yves making a rather desperate expression.
“But… I won’t forget any of this, love... I know I will never regret doing this with you….”
I know he’ll love me to the fullest, no matter what.
None of his words would cease that guilt, though.
I would never want to take advantage of him like this.
“Maybe you won't, but… I want you to remember even the smallest detail as we make love to each other—I want you to truly feel how much I love you, but not like this… not when you’re unable to see me, not when everything is in a complete haze for you.”
Perhaps a while had passed since we stayed like this, but I only realized just then that he was slowly getting back to his senses, but…
I still wished to save this for another day, as much as I wanted to fulfill these lingering desires to touch him more.
A minute had passed before he could say anything further.
“You're… right. I’m sorry for losing control like this.”
“Don't be. I want to take all the time we have to love you over and over again, too, but not like this…”
My hand cupped his cheek softly, smiling at him in a loving manner.
He snuggled into me a little more, cheeks still blushing.
“Can we stay this way a little longer? I know it's getting late, but… I don't want to let go of you…”
I guess he's still a little tipsy…?
But I do like it when he's clingy with me like this.
…It's almost like a guilty pleasure by now, whenever he's feeling buzzed after his drinking nights.
“Of course! Don't worry about the time, you can be with me like this for as long as you want.”
I showered his face with kisses, in an attempt to make him feel more comfortable and relaxed.
“I love you so much…”
He held me a little tighter underneath the glistening moonlit skies, returning me those same tender kisses.
…
Rays of sunlight peeked through the gaps of the closed curtains, indicating the rise of a new dawn.
But that didn't matter anymore in the slightest.
We stayed like this for a long while, and later fell asleep in each other's arms far beyond the early mornings that are usually spent together getting ready for the day—till Yves opened his eyes first during a lazy afternoon, wrecked with a massive headache.
──────
And he did, in fact, keep that drunken promise that he had made out of pure spontaneity…
By staying with me, and never taking his eyes off me for the rest of the day, spending time together in pure leisure—not bothering to look at the work orders, like he usually does.
He even ignored the constant ringing of the transmitter, indicating his refusal to go outside even once.
It was just a normal, trivial day spent at Courunne, all behind closed doors, but—
Trivial isn't the right word, no.
Not when he kept showering me with his love the whole day, making me feel so special—as if I’m the last person alive with him.
Even if I’d asked him if he remembers what happened last night… he wouldn't give me a clear sign of a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’
A single reply tinged with pure mischief was all I’d get, and he’d cling onto me harder.
“Well… who knows?”
—END—