Chapter Text
Phainon learned early that loving Mydei meant laughing at things that hurt. People joked about them all the time—married couple, inseparable, basically official. Phainon laughed with them, because laughing was easier than admitting how his chest tightened whenever Mydei rolled his eyes and said he’d rather die than date him.
Of course he wouldn’t, Phainon thought. Why would he?
He told himself it was fine. That standing at Mydei’s side was enough. That being wanted as a friend didn’t make him greedy for more. But every time Mydei smiled at someone else—bright, open, effortless—it felt like losing something Phainon had never been allowed to have.
I can’t keep doing this, he realized. Not when it hurts this much.
So he chose distance.
Canceled plans. Half-truths. Excuses wrapped in politeness. If staying meant slowly breaking himself apart, then leaving had to be survival.
If I disappear quietly enough, Phainon told himself, maybe it won’t hurt so much.
💔
Mydei noticed immediately.
The empty space beside him. The unread messages. The way Phainon stopped meeting his eyes, stopped laughing the same way, stopped being there. It was subtle, but Mydei had always been good at noticing Phainon.
Did I do something wrong? he wondered.
He replayed every conversation, every joke, every offhand comment, searching for the moment where things shifted. The more he looked, the heavier his chest felt.
He wouldn’t just leave, Mydei thought. Not without a reason.
Seeing Phainon walk away, again and again, hurt in a way Mydei didn’t have a name for. It was sharp, unfamiliar, and deeply unsettling.
Why does this feel like losing something important?
Why does it feel like it’s my fault?
For the first time, Mydei realized that whatever was happening between them wasn’t just friendship slipping through his fingers.
And the thought scared him more than he wanted to admit.