Chapter Text
It was a late afternoon at the palace, and Antonio had just returned from his duties. And the last thing he expected to see upon his return was Joseph, sprawled out on the floor by the bed, seemingly looking for something.
,,Antonio, have you seen Deuce?"
,,The ducky, you mean? You had it this morning, didn't you?"
,,I did, it was on the bed, I swear that's where I left it.."
,,I know, dear, I remember."
,,Oh, Antonio, you haven't the slightest idea what this could do to me if- Wait, did anyone come in here while I was away?"
,,Now that I think about it, Her Highness did come in here this morning looking for you." Antonio trailed, recalling the happenings of that morning. ,,Do you think she would have it?"
,,I doubt it. She would rather die than ever entertain the thought of even being seen with it."
,,Hm, quite similar to you, I would say. I see why you two are such close friends." He joked.
,,Har har."
Joseph continued to search the room, with some assistance from Antonio, but to no avail.
,,Perhaps one of the servants-"
,,It's not the servants, the bed is still exactly as we left it."
,,Ah, right. My mistake."
,,No, don't apologize, love. I'll.. go search elsewhere."
,,Good luck, amore mio."
Joseph stopped in his tracks before deciding to give Antonio a quick peck on the cheek.
The palace halls, for how regal and elegant they are, have a calm quiet during the evening that the daytime cannot compare to, especially in solitude, so Joseph thought. He took a break from his search, from which he came empty-handed, much to his unease.
The break he so needed, however, was broken by the increasingly noticeable clicking of heels against the polished hardwood floor.
,,Beautiful, is it not?" said the Queen.
,,..Quite so, Your Highness." Joseph replied, turning to face her.
,,You needn't be so formal with me, Desaulniers, we haven't any company at the moment."
,,Of course, Mary."
,,Come. Walk with me."
,,There's something you wish to discuss, I take it?"
,,Shut up and walk with me."
He blinked in confusion by the faint, yet sudden frustration in her tone, and walked beside her without daring to say a word.
As they entered Joseph's private quarters, from which Antonio was now absent, Mary took a breath to compose herself before breaking the silence between them.
,,Say, Desaulniers... tell me something, will you?"
,,Tell you what?"
,,Explain to me why you have this." With a slow but deliberate motion, she pulled out a floppy duck lovey with a white head and torso, orange legs, and variously textured wings.
Joseph's heart sank to the bottom of his body.
That's...
,,And where did you find that?"
,,Right... here." She tapped the exact spot he'd left it when he woke up that morning. ,,You can't deny that it belongs to you, Desaulniers. Now, tell me, and I expect full honesty in your answer... Why. Do. You. Have this?" She held the duck by one of its wings, with two fingers, as if already assuming the worst possible answers from him.
,,It's a private matter, Mary."
,,Not if it risks your dignity, Desaulniers."
,,It does not. Not once have I let it out of these walls, nor will I ever. I tell you, no one has even an inkling of an idea about it."
,,Is that so, now? Not even that violinist you seem to be oddly enamored with?"
,,Leave Paganini out of this."
,,Oh, absolutely not, Desaulniers. Whatever will you do if, heaven forbid, he spreads word of this... atrocity!?"
,,I know and trust him enough to let him see this. And I've confided in him for a long while now."
Mary, trying to keep her frustration at bay, took another deep breath, longer than the last and asked calmly:
,,And exactly how long has Paganini known of... whatever it is you do with this...?"
,,Five years now."
,,Five years? You mean to tell me you've been--"
,,Yes, Mary. Five years."
,,Goodness, Desaulniers-- whatever could you have been doing with this miserable little plaything for five years!?"
,,I'm not telling."
,,No, no. I demand an explanation."
,,Only... if you swear that you will keep this private... AND that you keep an open mind when I do."
She stopped, raised an eyebrow and nodded, beckoning him to continue.
,,Listen, Mary.. I doubt you have, but have you ever heard of the concept of age regression...?" He sat on his bed, constantly breaking eye contact with her.
,,....." She paused, before shaking her head and asking in that same skeptical tone that did not help the worry growing in the nobleman. ,,No, I can't say I have... would you care to educate me about this.. concept?"
,,Well, where do I start... A coping mechanism in which one's headspace reverts to that of a child's. It can be voluntary or involuntary, or even both, depending on the person."
,,Ah." She breathed out, her expression still one of skepticism. ,,And.. yours is..?"
,,Voluntary, usually."
,,...anything else?"
,,Some people that do this prefer to have someone take care of them accordingly in that state.. a caregiver, if you will."
,,And you're saying..?"
,,You don't have to be involved if it bothers you so, Mary. Paganini is the one taking care of me in those instances."
,,Wait, you mean to tell me... that essentially, you simply behave like an infant whenever you feel like it, and Paganini not only knows, but encourages that!?"
,,Mary, you're misunderstanding me-"
,,No, Desaulniers, this is ridiculous. It's unbecoming of someone of your stature, it's insanity!"
,,I'm not done explaining, Mary."
Once again, she breathed in. He's right, she jumped to a conclusion that may not even be true. And she calmed down.
,,Apologies." She breathed, with a hint of remorse in the way she spoke. ,,I must ask though... is there a reason why you do this?"
,,A reason, hm... to be honest with you, Mary, I'd hoped to avoid this topic altogether... I would rather not share such a sensitive topic. I'm sorry."
,,Is it because of...?"
He nodded solemnly, still avoiding eye contact as he held out his open palm, a cue for Mary to give back the duck lovey she forgot she was still holding.
,,Ah. I forgot about this." She realized before placing it back in his hand.
,,Thank you." He pressed the lovey to his chest, took a deep breath, and put it back in a drawer, where it stayed out of sight for the time being.
,,...I still can't say I completely approve of this 'coping mechanism' of yours, Desaulniers, but if it stays in this room, between you and Paganini, away from the public eye, then I suppose I'll give you the space to do whatever keeps you at peace." She stood up, fixing up her skirt, before walking to the door. ,,Good evening."