Chapter Text
I stared at the mirror a little longer today. My room looks almost identical since the day I left , the day I left everything behind and yet I can barely differentiate myself from when I was 11. My body is a memory book of the last 5 years, the scar on my right arm from when I tried skateboarding because all the “cool kids” were doing it, the wobbly stick and poke tattoo under my left elbow that my best friend did for me that took me ages for me to let her do and all the scars on my face from popping my pimples during the peak of puberty that I’ve given up on trying to fix. All this has followed me here in this hell of a city Braddock Pennsylvania that I left 5 years ago, but I’m here, and I’m here for good this time.
“Don’t forget your bag!”, “Behave at school”
I hear from the opposite side of the house
I’m not sure when my Mum started to care about what I bring to school, especially how I behave while I’m there but she probably feels bad after dragging me out of the country and is now trying to convince herself she’s a good parent. She always has these moments where she suddenly realises she's not meant to be this horrid monster who always complains at her teenage daughter with problems completely outside of her control so she turns into an angel and treats me like I’m this extraordinary thing she’s so thankful for although it doesn’t take long for this to stop.
I pick up my school bag on the way to the exit, stuffed with endless books, and a nervous weight I can’t shake off. It's just a normal first day. It'll be fine, I just need to make a somewhat decent first impression. I push open the front door with a little too much pressure needed and is immediately bombarded by the cold air. I take a sharp inhale burning my lungs and leaving the nostalgic morning scent of metal and wet concrete. Not very beautiful I know but I can’t help but to unpack the buried moments from my early years beneath this doorframe. Not that those were beautiful either; they were mostly moments of me stressing about school or random family drama. I exit the door embracing the harsh winds and start my journey.
It's been years since I walked down these roads, each step I take is a flashback. There’s not much actually interesting about these streets but every now and again I see something like the old pond I went swimming in fully clothed with my friends Ali and Lianne the day before I left and I'm reminded of the bittersweet moments I left behind.
I never actually kept up with my friends. I was never too keen on being active on the internet until around two years ago since it basically became unavoidable. I don’t reckon my old friends would still be here i mean Lianne was always back and forth from Finland with her family and Ali my childhood crush was crazy smart it was insane especially at maths despite him being from Mexico and having a whole different curriculum, I’d be surprised if he didn’t get into that private school like ages away but again he was always hated being around posh people with their egos big as the school itself even at 11.
The streets are starting to get busier and the bright obnoxious car lights are not helping my blurry morning eyes but it's not stopping me from seeing teenagers with oversized backpacks almost running to school. I ignore this for a second. Maybe they are just really excited for school hah. I pull out my phone 8:17
School starts at 8:20.
Fuck.
I've severely underestimated how far my new school was. I considered joining the few people running but quickly decided not to. I'd get my new clothes all sweaty and besides I left my inhaler at home. What's a girl supposed to do?
It's 8:25, the school gates are closed but I can feel the tense atmosphere coming from the building but it might just be my own feelings. I press the buzzer. Surely they can’t give me detention. It's literally my first day. An old lady answers
“Who is it?”
She sounds like my Grandma with her old southern accent.
“It’s Ivy” I say in my most polite voice hoping she forgets I'm 5 minutes late.
“You're late you have a detention” She replies
I guess it didn’t work.
The woman who was on the buzzer comes to collect me. You can tell she is unliked in this school straight away. She has dead gray hair and really bad jowls, she smells like really strong lavender or the type of incense you find in bathrooms.
I escape the grumpy woman as I enter the school. It smells warm and a lot smaller than the images online but at least I won't get lost. My form room is 2-4 which I'm assuming means, second floor 6th classroom. I find a staircase next to a brick wall and go up it. It leads me to a narrow hallway and I breathe a sigh of relief as I realise each classroom is labelled. I quickly find my form room and peek into a window, the whole class is already there.
All for making a good first impression.
I knock on the door, my strangely enthusiastic teacher Mr Simmons answers. He looks like maybe around his early 30s and has a random obsession with fun facts or something but he doesn’t introduce himself as I already met him on Induction day briefly.
He moves away from the door so I can walk in and straight away I can see what feels like hundreds of eyes on me. I look at my feet as I walk in trying my best to ignore it.
I glance up at Mr Simmons
“Just sit next to Alice” he says
He briefly points next to a tan girl with a short messy wolf cut. She’s staring at me a little more deeply than everyone else. I smile at her a little as I make my way to my seat. I sit down on a cold plastic chair next to her. She’s still staring at me but now her head is tilted and scrunching her eyebrows with her mouth slightly open kinda how Ali always did when he was confused.
“Ivy is that you?” She says in a slight Spanish accent
“huh” I mutter
How does she know my name? Did the teacher introduce me before I came? And what does she mean is that you? Do I know her? Before I can say anything I hear a voice coming from the front of the class.
“Silence class for the rest of form now”Mr Simmons says, staring at the direction of me and the black haired girl.
I quickly turn away from her. What was her name? Ali-? Alice?