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“Hey! …uh…so, about that big girl advice…”
“Hit me, sis.”
“Let’s say, hypothetically, you were in a life-or-death situation and a boy you like was holding your hand really really tightly…….how can you tell whether they were trying to hold-hold your hand on purpose or not?”
“I wouldn't worry about it! I think it’ll probably work itself out in a couple of years.”
“Really??”
“For sure.”
Isabella gave a giddy smile and glanced away. If Candace–who’d both known Phineas longer than even she had and had had a boyfriend for an entire YEAR now–thought things would work themselves out, they so totally would!!!!
She sat up and took out her notebook and pen, clicking the shiny red heart and flipping to an empty page to document this utterly FANTASTIC revelation.
Candace bit back a chuckle.
“And!!”
Isabella glanced up. “And what?”
“You should just enjoy yourself in the meantime.”
Candace reached for the notebook, but Isabella clutched it to her chest with a withering glare, hesitant (and perhaps unwilling) to hand over a month’s worth of potentially romantic observations to someone who lived just across the hall from the love of her life.
Candace chuckled; for a moment, it wasn’t Isabella seated across from her but a familiar young girl with wavy hair the color of autumn.
The moment passed, but the feeling of warmth it elicited stayed.
“Isabella, I spent a loooooong time fretting over how Jeremy felt about me before we got together. I did just about every crazy, desperate, delusional thing you could think of.”
“Did you have a documentation notebook?” Isabella asked.
“Enough notebooks to fill a library!! And a teddy bear with a picture of his face taped to it, and several other photos…many of them candid. AND a shrine!! It had candles, and a wax figure of Jeremy’s head…”
A shudder ran down her spine at that last memory.
“.......I spent hours carving that. Yikes.”
Isabella’s eyes widened in what might have been…awe? Ever so slowly, she opened her notebook back up–
“NO!! Stop that!!” Candace hurriedly snatched the notebook and tucked it behind her.
(She didn’t need the Jeremy shrine’s existence documented in writing.)
“Hey!! Give that back!!!” Isabella insisted, borderline frantic.
“I will, I will, but!!! You cannot write any of that down, you were supposed to think those things were creepy NOT anything to aspire to.”
“But…..you did all those things. And it worked. You’ve been dating Jeremy for a year now. He told you he loves you you are LIVING. MY DREAM.”
(Aside from the Jeremy part, duh.)
Candace uttered a dreamy sigh, losing herself in that memory for a moment.
“Oh, Jeremy……”
(She’d said “I love you” back, obviously! But not before galavanting about for a few more minutes and calling Stacy, who’d helpfully suggested she get off the dang phone and make sure Jeremy knew she felt the same way.)
But then…..
“Wait, how did you know about that?”
“Phineas told me.”
Candace narrowed an eyebrow. “You mean, he and Ferb told you and the rest of your friends?”
Isabella shook her head. “Just me. It was the other morning, I got here before Buford and Baljeet and said whatcha doin’--like I always do, ya know–and Phineas explained what he was doing but then he was like ‘Oh!! Guess what, Isabella?? Jeremy told Candace he loves her, isn’t that great? Ferb and I were there, it was awesome! And so romantic, even better than the boat ride they took last week, right Ferb?’ And Ferb nodded and I was like OMG that IS so great because like, it is I’m happy for you! And yeah maybe I had a little daydream about Phineas saying that to me but…uh…that’s not really relevant is it…why did I tell you that.”
She’d been aiming for subtlety, trying not to outright say Phineas’s name even though Candace had to have known she was talking about him, what with her involvement in last year’s operation Perfect Picnic. It made all this feel less embarrassing, but….so much for that.
“Um. Anyway. And then Buford and Baljeet got there and we got to the invention.”
Candace nodded. “Interesting.”
(She wasn’t going to elaborate on exactly why that was interesting but. It was.)
Isabella chanced a glance at Phineas in the space following Candace’s words….only to flush scarlet because he was already looking at her and He. Was. SMILING.
She whirled to face Candace again, eyes wide, heart thudding in her chest.
“Candace!!! Did you see that??? He was looking at me!!!! He was SMILING at me!!!!! I need the notebook give it!!!!!!!”
But Candace held it out of her reach. “Isabella! This is what I mean! If you have to write it down every time Phineas does something that might be romantic, you’re going to miss out on fully experiencing those moments. Just now he tried to wave at you and you didn’t even notice.”
Regret caught in Isabella’s chest, cold and aching. She turned back to Phineas, but she was too late, he was chatting with Ferb again.
“....oh.”
Candace smiled knowingly. “Look, I’m only saying this because I’ve been there. Things worked out for me and Jeremy, sure!! But that was because he made me feel safe enough to just exist in moments together, to be myself. I had to let go of needing to understand everything. And I’m not saying I’m perfect at that even now! We’ve had plenty of misunderstandings since we started dating.”
“Really?”
Candace nodded. “But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that: you don’t have to write everything down. You don’t have to figure out what everything means. Just live in the moments and enjoy them. And maybe one day, one of those moments will lead to your own love-scene-on-a-bridge type of moment.”
Recollection dawned on Isabella: Candace and Jeremy almost kissing in Paris, Candace sitting beside her on the baguette boat.
She remembered being a bit peeved: Candace hadn’t known how good she had it!!!
And then another memory struck, sending a swarm of butterflies whirling in Isabella’s stomach.
“Phineas hugged me that day.”
Candace’s eyebrows shot up.
“When we flew around the world? The day Jeremy and I got together?”
Isabella nodded. “On the island. He was about to give up, he just wanted to sit with me and give up, but I couldn’t bear to see him so sad. I was just trying to encourage him, saying whatever I could think of. And next thing I knew he said I was the best and gave me the biggest hug before we all made the paper airplane.”
She smiled, feeling Phineas’s arms around her all over again. “It was really special.”
“It sounds special,” Candace agreed.
She’d heard part of this story before–the part about Isabella inspiring Phineas, he brought that up quite literally every time they reminisced on that one time they flew around the world in a day.
(He never missed an opportunity to gush about how grateful he was for their neighbor.)
But from the way Phineas told it, he’d simply been lacking in inspiration, not motivation, positivity, and self-belief.
(And he’d certainly never mentioned that hug. Fascinating. Candace should bring it up to him sometime and see how he reacted.)
“And did you break away from the hug to write it down?”
“Well, no. I wrote about it in my diary when I got home though. I didn’t get the idea to carry a notebook around until this summer.”
“Well! There you have it. Writing it down later to preserve the memory is different from writing about it as it happens. Special moments can happen at any time, but only if you’re fully in the moment. You know?”
Isabella nodded, still disappointed for missing Phineas’s wave but feeling more assured. “Yeah…that makes sense. That’s pretty good big girl advice. Thanks, Candace.”
Candace smiled down at her, awash in the same fondness she’d felt holding Phineas for the first time, felt hearing Ferb say her name for the first time, felt every time she sipped steaming apple cider from the mug they’d given her last summer.
“He’s lucky to have you, you know. I’m thankful he does.”
Isabella’s eyes widened. “Really? You are?”
“Duh!! I mean, you’re genuinely one of the coolest people I know. Way cooler than I was at your age! …honestly, way cooler than I am now.”
(Isabella didn’t dispute this claim.)
“And you really care about him. That’s important to me as a big sister, ya know? Knowing someone so amazing cares that much.”
Isabella just gazed up at her neighbor, equal parts stunned and honored at just how highly she thought of her.
And then someone interrupted their conversation.
“…oh, hey Ferb! What’s up?”
Phineas chuckled as Ferb stiffly raised his popsicle, deftly balancing it between the very tips of his fingers without so much as a drop melting away.
“Wow, I stand corrected!! Popsicle balancing IS a talent.”
He took a bite out of his ice cream cone and gazed out at the backyard contentedly, taking in the view of a peaceful, non-apocalyptic summer’s day.
Not too far away, Perry, Candace, and Isabella lounged on a familiar looking picnic blanket. He couldn’t hear the latter two’s discussion, but it seemed lively!! He watched Candace snatch a notebook from a seemingly-irate Isabella’s hands and gulped on his sister’s behalf–he certainly wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of Isabella’s wrath.
But then they just kept on talking. Smiling. Enjoying one another’s company.
Something about that, seeing two of his favorite people in the entire world get along so well, was just so wonderful!
How lucky was he?? To live so close to his favorite people, his siblings and platypus and Isabella.
His gaze shifted from her and Candace to just her. Isabella. His best friend.
A fond smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as she watched her speak–she must’ve been telling quite the story, she was using her hands and everything! Hopefully she’d tell the story to him later, he loved hearing her talk.
And then! Isabella looked back at him!!! Awesome!!!
Phineas lifted a hand to wave, but then she’d already turned back to Candace and was clambering for her notebook again.
Something stirred in his chest as he let his hand fall, a weird sort of ache that felt oddly familiar.
He didn’t like it.
But Isabella sure liked that notebook. As a matter of fact….he’d seen it before! Yesterday.
Yesterday.
Now the weird feeling had a point of origin.
He frowned, finishing off his ice cream and wiping his hands in the grass.
“Ferb, something kinda weird happened yesterday.”
Ferb shot an incredulous glance at his brother.
Kinda weird?? That was the understatement of the century.
“Something weird in addition to the vending machine apocalypse,” Phineas clarified. “THAT would warrant a stronger adverb. Well. Is ‘kinda’ an adverb? Or a contraction? Both? Neither?”
Ferb pulled out a dictionary, but Phineas shook his head.
“Never mind, it’s not important.”
“Actually, grammar is very important!” Baljeet chimed in from a bit away.
“Stop eavesdropping!!” Buford hissed. “It’s rude.”
“Rude? You’re one to lecture me about being rude, Mr. Let’s-Make-Baljeet-Think-We-Like-Space-Adventure-And-Get-Him-Sick!”
“If you hadn’t forced me–a formerly sick child–to watch your glorified space opera, I wouldn’t have intentionally gotten you sick. Now we’re even.”
Phineas chuckled as they bickered on, his grammatical inquiry seemingly forgotten. He turned back to Ferb.
“Anyway….did Isabella seem to be acting strange to you yesterday?”
Ferb shrugged.
“Yeah, I know, it was a strange day all around. But Isabella was acting strange before it got like. Overtly strange. ….huh!! ‘Overtly.’ Now THAT’S a good adverb!”
Ferb leaned forward a bit, and Phineas rubbed his ear before continuing.
“Anyway! She just kind of…kept disappearing. It happened more than once. I’d be looking at her one minute and then the next she was gone.”
Ferb just blinked at Phineas, prompting him to elaborate further.
“Well….I remember when we first started skipping rocks, she disappeared for a bit. And then again after we’d been skipping rocks for a little while. I didn’t see her again until the vending machines showed up.”
He didn’t tell Ferb how terrified he’d been to find their friend group under attack without Isabella at his side again, didn’t elaborate on how relieved he’d been to see her with Candace a handful of seconds later…didn’t feel it worth mentioning how he’d felt those same feelings all over again in Doofenshmirtz’s building.
(Why was it always that building???)
“Well. What happened right before she disappeared each time?” Ferb asked.
Phineas’s brow furrowed as he mentally retraced his steps.
“Well…….the first time….we all put our hands in, right? Before we skipped rocks. I went last, Isabella went right before me.”
He could see it in his mind’s eye now, the way she’d looked right at him with an eager smile. He’d already been smiling, of course, but seeing her smile, bright as a rainbow, just made his own grow even wider!!
And then he remembered what happened after, how Buford had cheered and he’d looked away for a moment, and by the time he looked back she was gone, standing off by herself.
“...she left for a little bit after that. I don’t know why.”
Ferb had a few theories.
“And then…..I gave her a compliment. During the rock skipping. I gave her a compliment and…..”
There was something else…..oh, right!!
“And a fist bump!!!”
Sure, everyone had done well at rock skipping. But Isabella had done especially well. That had more than warranted a fist bump!!
Frankly, even if she hadn’t been doing well, Phineas would’ve complimented her just for trying her best.
(But of course she’d done well. She was Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, what couldn’t she do?)
“I gave her a fist bump and turned to skip another rock, but when I looked back she was gone again. And writing in that notebook Candace took from her. Do you think she’s writing The Goblin’s Filibuster fanfiction in there, is that why she wants it back so bad?”
Ferb had a feeling he knew what Isabella was writing, and while it might have been speculative and somewhat delusional, it wasn’t fanfiction.
But he just shrugged again.
“Anyway….it’s just kinda weird, right? Like, that it happened twice? That she looked at me and then disappeared?”
He wrung his hands, unable to comprehend why saying all this made his chest hurt more. Wasn’t talking about things supposed to make them better?
“I don’t know, I just…I’d hate if she wasn’t having fun. Or didn’t want to be around me–us!! Am I crazy?”
Ferb did his best to not roll his eyes.
He could’ve given Phineas any number of words of advice, told him just how far off he was, prompted him to think deeper about why this bothered him so much and help him figure out what he–and likely Candace–already knew.
But instead, he stood.
“Okay, your birthday is in a week and a half. Candace and I need to talk strategy, so you need to move.”
Phineas–for once–was at a loss for words, still clinging to the severed end of their prior conversation.
“But–”
“And Isabella definitely wants to be around you. She’s your best friend.”
“Well yeah, but–”
But Ferb was already walking across the yard. He tapped Candace on the shoulder, and she turned to him with a smile.
Phineas just stared at his siblings as they conversed, wishing he could hear them.
(He didn’t consciously choose to avoid looking at Isabella, but he did so anyway.)
And then Ferb and Candace approached him at the tree.
“Sorry, Phineas, you’ve gotta go!” Candace said. “We have a birthday to plan.”
Phineas stood, a highly illogical touch of sadness prickling at his heart.
“...okay.”
Even if it was to plan something nice for him, Candace and Ferb were sending him away. Didn’t want him around. Just like Isabella maybe hadn’t wanted to be around him.
Candace glanced back at the blanket and said, “Why don’t you go sit with Isabella and Perry?”
Phineas stiffened at that suggestion. Candace obviously had no way of knowing he was a little confused about Isabella at the moment, she was just trying to help.
So! He chanced a glance at their across-the-street neighbor, and…their eyes met. He winced, remembering before, but….she didn’t look away this time, instead lifting her hand to wave.
Phineas waved back.
Isabella maintained eye contact with him, not exactly smiling but…she looked happy this time.
So he walked over, inexplicable shyness manifesting in the way he wrung his hands together, fiddling with the skin near his palm.
“Hey, Isabella. Hey, Perry.”
“Hi, Phineas.”
“Gryuyugyugyugyugygryu.”
Phineas slipped back into positivity instantly, without even thinking about it.
“Ferb needed to talk to Candace, they’re planning for my birthday, apparently! So…is this spot taken?”
He gestured to the blanket, and Isabella…Isabella smiled.
“As a matter of fact, it’s been recently vacated! It’s all yours.”
Sunbeams and rainbows and everything beautiful in the world seemed to hover in the air around Phineas, the uncomfortable ache he’d been more or less carrying since yesterday evaporating in a millisecond.
He grinned back, and then he sat, reaching out to pat Perry on the head. Isabella followed suit.
“Maybe we can build a Perry Palace tomorrow!” she mused.
“Is that what you’d like to do?” Phineas asked, glancing up at her.
He’d invent whatever she wanted, anything to make sure she had fun.
(Even another bread bowl hot tub.)
Isabella shrugged with a smile. “We don’t have to, but we could!! I’ll do anything, I’m just hoping tomorrow is as chill as today has been. No more apocalypse type situations for the rest of the month, at least.”
Her voice trailed off, eyes shifting down to the blanket, tugging at a loose thread with her fingers.
“Thank you, by the way. For saving me from that vending machine yesterday.”
She tried to say it matter-of-factly, as if she hadn’t been replaying how it felt to be swept off her feet by the boy she loved, hand held so tightly she’d never felt more safe, over and over in her head since it happened.
“Oh! Of course!!” Phineas replied with a smile. “I almost lost you once in an apocalypse-type scenario, Isabella. I wasn’t going to lose you again.”
He slid his hand across the blanket until it found hers, hoping the gesture would help Isabella understand he’d always be there for her, no matter what.
Isabella’s heart gave a ca-THUNK. She stared wide eyed at their hands, and then up at Phineas, trying her hardest not to hyperventilate, not to bolt across the backyard and snatch her notebook back. Hopefully her face wasn’t as flushed as it felt.
Phineas, meanwhile, felt some of the old weird ache come back because Isabella wasn’t smiling anymore, she was just looking at him again with that familiar, wide eyed expression he for the life of him could not understand.
All he knew is: he didn’t want her to disappear again. So he kept his eyes on her and did what he did best: talked some more.
“And! Well. It’s not like you haven’t saved me before, either. Like with the paper airplane! Or with Big Mitch! You’re amazing, Isabella! We’ve got each other’s back, right?”
Isabella just gazed at him, awestruck and flustered, Candace’s words ringing in her head.
“Special moments can happen at any time, but only if you’re fully in the moment. You know?”
This was assuredly one of those moments.
So. Isabella took a deep breath to steady herself and lifted her free hand, bringing it to rest on top of Phineas’s and turning her other hand to cup his in both of hers. She smiled.
“We do,” she agreed. “And you’re amazing too.”
Phineas did not respond, could not respond, some rich, warm feeling dancing over his fingers and knuckles and washing over him, chasing away any lingering, unidentifiable aches and leaving only a sense of contentment, peace…joy.
He supposed it was true, him being amazing, not that he tended to think about himself that way but it was an objective fact.
But to hear Isabella call him that….to know she thought he was amazing…well….after everything he’d been worried about in the past handful of minutes, it was more than a little reassuring.
He recalled previous moments where Isabella had cheered him up and reassured him when he needed it most…and then he remembered what typically followed.
His next action was practically a foregone conclusion!
Isabella’s heart sank a little as Phineas withdrew his hand from hers…but then it proceeded to do an Olympic gold medal-worthy backflip as he leaned forward and wrapped her in a hug.
“Thanks, Isabella.”
“PHINEAS. IS HUGGING ME.”
It took Isabella a second to gather the wherewithal to hug him back, to remember how to speak, to remind herself to enjoy this rather than psychoanalyze what it might mean to Phineas.
“Uh!! Of course!” she managed to squeak out, heart hammering rapidly even as peaceful, gentle warmth blossomed there too.
(She owed Candace a MASSIVE thank you for her advice…even if she did plan on retrieving her notebook later, so as to prevent it falling into the wrong hands.)
Phineas pulled away, resting his hands on Isabella’s shoulders and grinning fondly at her a moment.
(For some reason he didn’t want to completely pull back just yet. He wasn’t sure why.)
Isabella grinned back, unable to stop the dreamy giggle that escaped her lips.
”Phineas hugged me.”
The sound of her laughter, bright and clear, made Phineas giggle too, even if he didn’t understand what was funny.
He caught a glance of Perry in his peripheral vision and glanced down, inspiration striking. He let go of Isabella and scooped the platypus into his arms.
“I like that Perry palace idea!! We should build a Pinky palace too. Want to help me draw some blueprints? We can let Perry decide which ones he likes best.”
“Sure!!!”
Phineas stood, gathering Perry into one arm and using the other to prop himself to his feet.
And Isabella–emboldened, maybe because of Candace’s sage advice, or maybe because she could still feel the warmth of Phineas’s arms around her–grasped his free hand in hers as she followed suit.
Phineas’s eyes widened.
He just looked at her for a moment, then their hands, then back up at her.
There was a weird feeling in his chest again, but, unlike before, it felt….nice! Good, even! Like untapped potential, new possibility, a first step into the great unknown.
He squeezed her hand in response and then set off in the direction of the garage, happy to know that–this time–she wouldn’t disappear on him.
Isabella caught Candace’s gaze as they passed, gesturing excitedly between Phineas and herself with her free hand when he wasn’t looking.
Candace batted her eyelashes at the two of them before mouthing, “You’re welcome!!!”
She watched her brother and bow-clad neighbor disappear through the gate before turning to Ferb.
“I told Isabella things would work themselves out between her and Phineas in a couple years. What do you think?”
“I think we’ll be lucky if they get together before they graduate,” he mused. “Them having mutual feelings is one thing. Them actually realizing their feelings are mutual is another. Phineas doesn’t even realize he has them yet.”
Candace rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Well…Isabella’s certainly trying to figure out if he has them. Maybe he’ll figure it out this summer, if THAT….”
She gestured to the blanket and then the direction they’d gone.
“...is any indication. And if it takes him more than a couple years, we’ll nudge him in the right direction.”
Ferb nodded.
“In the meantime….” Candace gave her step-brother a wry grin. “You think Isabella would want to keep Phineas busy while we set up his party next week?”
Ferb chuckled.
“I suspect she’d be more than happy to.”