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Donald was pacing around his room. How could he disrespect HIM like that? He was THE PRESIDENT of the united states, and emoting on him? How dare he do something as horrendous as that, he knew he had to get back at him but how?
Donald opened up reddit, the most reliable source of information he knew, and signed in as his side account bottomtwinkdicksucker69. He asked the subreddit r/revenge, “how do you get back at your crush i mean rival for emoting on you? Not Donald Trump btw”. This was sure to work,,, right? Soon enough his notifications were flooded, mainly his vip grindr subscription and his onlyfans for joe hawley but there were some for reddit.
He had 3 responses under his question which went as followed:
“Nice username” from gaylumberjacktop67
“Gay sex” from gerardwaysleftballsack
“Kidnap him” from Edgelordphonklover676767
Kidnapping seemed to be the most reasonable out of all the choices, so he got to work. It took a total of 3 minutes to plan, a new record for trump. The plan was Donald would hide in a box of oranges set to go to Venezuela's president and then Donald would signal the entire fbi to kidnap the president. It was a flawless plan with no holes. Trump phoned the fbi to inform them of the plan, to his surprise, the fbi had a different plan. They would drop Trump from a jet. Trump would then grab the president, and they would fly out. Trump agreed to the plan as it took less time and he was pretty sure no orange crate was big enough to fit him in it.
Trump got in the jet, he was anxious, he didn't know if he was actually capable of fulfilling his role, he was about to get out the jet but it had already taken off.
“Mr. President!” Jayingee exclaimed, grabbing onto the back of Trump's suit. Jake brought him back into the jet, “don’t try that again”, he said in a stern voice.
“S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sorry jakey-senpai”, Trump replied. He always had a stutter when speaking to authoritative men, and a boner.
“Its,, good,,” Jake had lost his confidence when he saw the miniscule microscopic almost a cm bulge in the president's pants, “hey how close are we to Venezuela? Albert?”
“Around 5-6 hours”, Albert Flamingo replied, “you holdin up there jakeyyy?” he teased.
“Fuck off dude”, Jake replied holding in a laugh.
“Yeah yeah,,”
The president busted, he was fujoshiing out! But he had to hold it in, he had to save it for Maduro.
5-6 hours later
Albert landed the jet on top of Mr.Maduro’s building.
“Alright Mr. President were gonna strap you in this harness and then we’re gonna lower you down, then you’ll abduct Mr. Maduro, got that?” Jake said.
“S-s-s-sir y-y-yes s-s-sir”, the president replied, he couldn't wait to be strapped up! Especially by another man.
Jake strapped the president up (might as well oil him up while you're at it what the hell), he then attached the rope to the harness and started to slowly lower him down into the building. About halfway through the ride, they noticed the rope they brought was too small so Trump would have to infiltrate the place without Jake and Albert's help.
Trump landed on the highest floor of the building, he untied his rope and started to make his move.
Now it was only Jake and Albert left in the jet.
“You think he’s gonna be okay?”, asked Albert.
“Hopefully not”, Jake replied, “why did we take this job in the first place dude I don’t want to help this sack of shit”
“Sabatoge, remember dude, Gerard Way told us all about this back at base, if we help Trump kidnap the president there’s a chance he might be forcefully taken out of office because of some law stuff”, Albert turned to look at Jake, “we just gotta make it a bit longer yknow dude?”
“Okay dude”, Jake replied solemnly, both he and Albert really REALLY did not like the feeling of being of any help to the president, but they just had to deal with it for now.
Albert took note of this, “We’re getting out of this, together dude”, he replied.
“Yeah”, he said, “together’.
Jake stood up and walked over to Albert, he put his right hand on Albert's right thigh and his left hand went behind Albert’s head, pulling him in for a kiss. They stayed like that for a while, until they heard Trump shouting from below.
“I got him! I-I-I got t-t-tthe president! Let the r-r-rope d-down n-now!!” Trump reached one hand into the sky, the other was holding onto a bag that presumably had Mr.Maduro.
“Oh my god,,” Jake sighed, lowering the rope down for Trump to take.
Trump reattached his rope to the harness then pulled twice to signal Jake to pull him up. When Jake had finally brought Trump to the jet, he turned to Albert.
“Ready”, Jake told Albert.
“On it”, Albert replied
Then, the jet was off.
Around 5-6 hours later Jake was dragging the Handcuffed Mr.Maduro into the dungeons that had been built below the white house. Originally the dungeons were to be used to house Satan and Trump's baby but since Satan had a miscarriage and therefore left the Whitehouse, the dungeons had been used to house people that just really pissed Trump off.
Mr.Maduro should have been taken to the cell containing Matt Stone and Trey Parker but instead, Jake was instructed to keep walking, passing by said cell. Albert, Jake, and Trump kept walking until they got to the investigation room.
“L-l-leave us b-be” Trump ordered after Jake handcuffed Mr.Maduro to the table in the middle.
“Kay dude”, Jake replied as he and Albert left the scene.
“You know how many dudes would kill to bust a nut on the presidents bed?” Jake said to Albert.
“At least a million,, do you really want to?”, Albert asked?
“Yeah dude like wouldnt it be like one of those end of the year pranks, I mean, the plans almost finished, we gotta at least do something while we’re here”, Jake reasoned.
Albert laughed, “yeah alright man lets go”, he said racing up the dungeon steps.
Meanwhile in the interrogation room
[[Note from the author i gave up halfway with the stutters because i could not be bothered to keep doing that shit it was pissing me the fuck off so if you see one of donalds sentences without it pretend it's there]]
“S-s-s–s-so,,,, w-why d-d-did you say that about m-me?” Trump asked the sexy DILF in front of him.
Maduro laughed at Trump.
“H-h-hey! W-w-w-whats so funny!!” Trump exclaimed.
“Youre cute when you get embarrassed” Maduro growled, he learnt this trick from bikertok.
Trump hid his face, it was going from orange to red in a matter of seconds! Focus he said to himself he’s just trying to mess with you.
Trump regained his composure and slammed his hands on the table, “That doesn't answer my question Maduro”, he said firmly, though his boner was still present he didn’t let that distract him from the reason he brought Maduro here.
“Because”, Maduro said in a low husky voice, he started to trail off.
“Because what?” Trump replied.
“Because, I like you Donald”, Maduro said, locking eyes with trumps glistening blue orbs, “I like you alot”.
Trump's heart began to pound, he couldn't believe this! His crush likes him back! This was the happiest day of his life! Trump was so blinded by love that he didn’t notice Maduro beginning to pick the lock in his cuffs.
“In fact, why don’t we do it”, Maduro said, “right here and now”.
Trump didn’t hesitate a second. He ran over to Maduro and started swapping spit with him. As Maduro slipped his tongue into Trump's mouth he began to moan and whimper.
“Please master”, Trump said getting on his knees, “give it to me, I’m your good boy”
Maduro’s handcuffs clicked, “as you wish princess”, Maduro undid his fly, “Just keep those eyes closed like a god girl”.
“Of course daddy” Trump shut his eyes, his mouth wide open waiting for the load. Maduro handcuffed Trump to the table and ran out the door.
“What's this daddy?” Trump asked, eyes still closed.
“My hands darling, still trying to get down my underwear, it just wont go below my abnormally large penis”
“Okay daddy!” Trump said excitedly.
Maduro made a run for it, racing up the steps, all the way up to the jet still parked upon the rooftop. The keys were still inside, he turned them and then took off. He was a bit rusty at first but seemed to learn how to fly the jet in a matter of minutes. Maduro was on his way back to Venezuela.
A bit before this
Albert and Jake were shirtless in the president's bed, Jake had pinned Albert down, both of Albert's wrists were in Jake's hand, as they heard footsteps racing outside.
“You think that’s Maduro,” Albert asked.
“Yeah”, Jake replied.
“Wanna go chase after him?”
“No, not really”
“Yeah me neither”
