Work Text:
Angela took a deep breath, trying to steel her nerves before walking into the studio. Today was the first day she was filming for her new company. She had met a few people, having to come in before for interviews, auditions, and paperwork, but today was the first day she was going to be in action. She was still on a probationary period, with the understanding that her job depended on her ability to interact well with her co-workers as well as the response from the fans. Angela had been performing for a while, usually on stage. She felt comfortable in that capacity. However, she was less comfortable when she had to be herself. People tended not to like her, excluding her and making it clear that she wasn’t enough or, more than often, too much.
Luckily, today she was filming something Smosh called Dead Table Talks, meaning she was playing a character, not herself. They wanted to ease her into the filming schedule, so she was only filming this one video today, but the rest of the week included videos that were more personality focused, including a TNTL and a Board AF. She had to establish herself today so the rest of the week would go smoothly.
Angela, taking one last deep breath, stepped out of her car and walked into the studio. After asking for directions from the front desk worker, she walked back into the green room, ready to start painting her face red. She sat down in front of a mirror, trying not to get in anyone’s way. Next to her sat a tall woman with dark hair and olive skin. She was pulling her hair back, trying to make it seem short under her hat. Angela started pulling out her supplies, ready to get started as well. She was so focused, she jumped when the woman next to her cleared her throat.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Amanda.” The taller woman turned to Angela, holding out her hand. “Hi, I’m Angela,” she replied, grabbing the woman’s hand and shaking it. “Oh, you’re Angela!” Amanda responded, a smile growing on her face. “I heard about you from Ian. He said your audition was really good. Welcome to the team!” Angela just nodded, saying a quick thanks before returning to her work. She knew Ian was one of the cofounders of Smosh, but she hadn’t actually met him yet. She knew he was in this video, but she didn’t know what he looked like. She really should have done some more research before she got here.
Before long, Amanda was done with her look, returning with her clothes changed into a baseball uniform with a giant beer belly. She even had a baseball bat she was using as a prop. Angela could see that she was really getting into character, running some lines and working on her voice. Because of this, Angela decided to follow Amanda’s lead. She started getting into the mind of Bazanka, the 13 year old demon girl she was playing. Before she knew it, someone from production came in to tell them that it was time to get into places. Angela took one last look at herself in the mirror, reminding herself that she knew what she was doing before walking out the door behind Amanda.
***
Angela looked around, coming up for air after having been so deep in the scene. The director had called for a quick five minute break, and everyone at the table was reading back over the lines. Well, everyone except for Amanda and Angela. Angela looked across the tables, seeing Amanda studying her with a slight tilt of her head. “You’re killing it,” the older woman said. Angela ducked her head slightly, glad she was painted red so Amanda couldn’t see the blush crawling up her face. “All of y’all are doing amazing,” Angela replied. “I’m just trying to keep up.” Amanda smiled softly at her. “You don’t have to worry about that. You’re incredible. Everyone is going to love you.” Angela let Amanda’s words wash over her. She could do this. Just then, she heard the director call for the cameras to start rolling, and before she knew it, she was back into Bazanka.
***
After a couple of hours of filming, they finally wrapped. Angela walked back into the green room, pulling out her makeup wipes so she could try and get some of the face paint off. Amanda walked into the room not long after, coming up behind her and placing a hand on her shoulder. “You did absolutely amazing in there! You were hysterical!” She said, moving to the side to start and take her hair down. “Thanks. I was just trying to match everyone else’s energy. You’re all so funny.” Angela responded, smiling at how sweet Amanda was being. “Hey, lunch will be ready in about 30 minutes. How about I help you get as much of this paint off as possible and then you join us? I know this is you only shoot of the day, but a girl’s gotta eat, right?” She asked, hope coloring her voice. “Sure, “ Angela responded, giddy at the thought of someone wanting to spend more time with her.
Angela and Amanda finished de-redding her right as lunch was called. “Perfect timing,” Amanda smiled, tossing all of the makeup wipes in the trash. “Come on, I want you to meet everyone.” Amanda grabbed Angela’s arm, pulling her into the lunch area. Amanda led them to the line, greeting people as she passed. When they finally got their food, Amanda led them to a table that was already occupied by a man and a woman. “Hey guys!” Amanda greeted, sitting down and pulling out the chair beside her for Angela. “This is Angela! She just finished filming her first video, absolutely blowing it out of the water.” Angela just laughed, trying not to show how much the compliment affected her. “That’s awesome!” The man replied. “I’m Shayne and this is Courtney. It’s great to meet you.” Courtney nodded her agreement. “I can’t wait to film a video with you!”
The group exchanged small talk, learning more about each other and enjoying each other's company. Eventually, Shayne, Amanda, and Courtney had other videos to prepare for, meaning it was time for Angela to go. “Thank you so much for letting me join you for lunch. I had a great time.” Angela said, standing up to clear her trash. “Of course. You’ll be back tomorrow, right?” Amanda asked. “Yeah, I have a TNTL to shoot.” the smaller woman replied. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” Amanda replied, the other two echoing similar remarks as they parted ways. Angela walked to her car feeling much lighter than she did this morning. Maybe she could do this.
***
The next couple months went by in a blur. Angela was made an official member of Smosh, meaning she was spending more and more time with everyone. The person she spent the most time with, however, was Amanda. They always seemed to gravitate towards one another, quickly discovering their shared love of true crime and wine as well as just enjoying each other’s company. Angela was loving it, but she was also nervous about it. She had never had much luck keeping a close friend for very long. Someone would come into her life, find her interesting for a little bit, and then get tired of her and drop her. She could almost count on it, the pattern becoming depressingly predictable. Because of this, she had been tense around Amanda recently. In her past friendships, it would take about two months for the other person to start getting tired of her. Amanda and she had been friends for almost three, meaning Angela was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. When would Amanda start distancing herself? When would she finally realize that Angela was annoying, was too much?
Amanda had noticed how stressed Angela had been recently, but she couldn’t quite figure out why. She knew the girl was busy, Smosh being only one of her many jobs, but from what Angela had told her, that wasn’t out of the ordinary. Maybe it was just getting to her right now. Amanda decided Angela needed a break and formed a plan. She would invite the girl over for a sleepover. That way, she could make sure the other woman relaxed, had a good, homecooked meal, and went to bed at a decent hour. While it might not take anything off her plate, it would hopefully give her a much needed reset.
“Hey, honey! How’s it going?” Amanda said, reaching out to give Angela a hug. “It’s going alright. How about you?” Angela asked. Amanda sighed a bit. She had been trying to subtly ask Angela how she was, hoping the younger woman might open up a little about what had her stressed, but so far Angela had been unwilling to talk about herself. So, Amanda enacted her plan. “To be honest, I’ve been a little stressed lately.” Angela immediately scooted closer, placing a comforting a hand on Amanda’s arm. Amanda felt bad for worrying her, but it wasn’t entirely a lie. She had been stressed about Angela, but that wasn’t the reason for her comment. She knew Angela wouldn’t turn her down if she knew Amanda needed something. It felt manipulative, but Amanda tried to remind herself that she was just trying to help Angela. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Angela responded, concern in her voice. Amanda melted a bit. Angela was so sweet. “Well, I was thinking that maybe this Friday you’d want to come over for a sleepover? We could watch true crime and drink wine.” Amanda propositioned. Angela seemed to hesitate for a second, but eventually nodded her head. “I’m free this weekend. What time do you want me to come over?” Amanda breathed a sigh of relief. Her plan was working. “Does six work for you?” Amanda asked. “Sure,” Angela agreed. “I’ll be there.”
***
The day of the sleepover was here, and Angela was a nervous wreck. She hadn’t spent much time with her coworkers out of the office yet. There was the occasional lunch excursion, and one evening where everyone went to get drinks after a shoot week, but for the most part, her friendship with her coworkers had stayed in the office. However, she was now sitting in her car, once again trying to work up the courage to get out, but instead of the Smosh office, she was sitting outside Amanda’s apartment.
She loved Amanda, and she had been wanting to try to spend time with her outside of work for a while. But, at least at work she could hide behind bits and schedules. If she felt like she was too much, she could hide behind her other coworkers, allowing them to take the spotlight. Tonight, it was just her and Amanda. No one else would be there to run interference. She had to be enough for the other woman, and that scared her beyond belief.
Amanda watched from her window as Angela continued to sit in her car. She had seen the woman pull into the parking lot about five minutes ago, but she still seemed to be sitting in her parked car. Amanda’s worry for the younger woman grew even more. She tried to tell herself that maybe Angela was just gathering her things or finishing up a phone call, but Amanda couldn’t help but worry about her. After another minute or so, she saw Angela finally step out of her car and begin to walk to her apartment. Hopefully, Amanda could help Angela relax tonight.
Angela approached Amanda’s door, knocking once before immediately being greeted by the taller woman. “Hey sweetie!” Amanda exclaimed before wrapping her into a hug. Angela giggled at her excitement. “Hey! I brought wine!” Angela greeted, holding up the bottle of wine like an offering. “Ooh this will go perfect with the chicken parm I cooked. Let me get some glasses.” Angela followed Amanda to her kitchen, taking in the smell of the fresh meal. “You didn’t have to cook for this! We could’ve gotten take out,” Angela said, feeling guilty that Amanda had put in all this effort. “I like cooking! Plus, nothing's better than a home cooked meal on a night in.”
The two women fixed their plates then walked over to Amanda’s couch, the documentary they had decided on already cued up on her TV. “You ready?” Amanda asked, grabbing them a blanket to share. “You know it!” Angela replied, already digging into her meal. “Mmm Amanda this is amazing! I think this is the first home cooked meal I’ve had all month.” Amanda tried to keep her face neutral as Angela continued digging into her dinner. If this truly was the only home cooked meal she had had in a month, Amanda was going to make sure she came over more often.
As the documentary played, the two women finished their meals and leaned back onto the couch. Amanda started sharing theories, trying to get Angela to share her own. The younger woman seemed nervous to respond, always keeping her answers short. Amanda also noticed the physical distance between them. Angela would start leaning into her, only to seemingly realize what she was doing and scoot away again. It was no secret that Amanda loved physical touch, so she was confused by the younger woman’s actions.
Eventually, the documentary ended, and Amanda turned towards Angela. “So, do you want to play a game or find another doc to watch?” Amanda questioned. “Whatever you want,” Angela immediately replied, seeming nervous. “Hey, are you okay?” Amanda asked. Angela seemed stunned at this. “Yeah, why?” “Well,” Amanda started, “I’ve just noticed that you’ve seemed really stressed recently, which is partly why I asked you to come over tonight. I was hoping I could give you at least one relaxing evening this month. However, you’ve just seemed really tense.”
Angela took in Amanda’s words, her face growing redder by the second. Amanda had noticed, and now she was getting annoyed by Angela’s efforts to maintain their friendship. It was like some sick cycle where Angela desperately tried to keep her friends, which just resulted in them wanting to leave her even more. She tried to fight back tears as she looked anywhere but at Amanda.
“I’m so sorry. I can leave if you want. I know I’m being annoying,” the younger woman said, getting up and moving to gather her things. “Woah, woah, woah,” Amanda stated, grabbing the younger woman’s arm. “I’m not mad or annoyed. I’m just worried about you. I just want to be able to help you, but I can’t if I don’t know what’s going on.” Angela nodded her head in understanding. Feeling as if she had nothing more to lose, she just decided to lay out what was on her mind.
“I’m pretty good at making friends, but for some reason I’m not good at maintaining them. I get too attached too quickly or something, and people always say I’m too much and end up leaving. I’m the type of person that’s fun for a while but not worth putting up with in the long term. So, when you and I started getting close, I realized I really liked you and wanted you to stick around for a while. So, I’ve been trying to pull back and make you comfortable so you hopefully won’t leave me.” Angela finished her confession with a choked sob, not able to look at Amanda.
Amanda gently reached out her arm, grabbing Angela’s hand. “Can I hug you?” She asked, which was met with an emphatic nod of the head. Amanda scooted closer, pulling the smaller woman into her arms. “I’m sorry that those people said that, but it’s not true. You have brought nothing but positivity to my life, as well as to Smosh as a whole. I love hanging out with you, and I would never think that you are too much. Your silliness and goofiness are part of what makes you so special. I love you for you, Angela. I don’t want a watered down version of you.” Angela continued to cry as Amanda ran her fingers through her short brown hair.
After a couple minutes, Angela had calmed down a bit. “It’s a bit hard for me to believe you, but I’m going to try to. I love you, too, and I want to be your friend as well.” Angela finally said. Amanda nodded in understanding. “I get that. I’m going to try and show you everyday that I mean what I said, okay?” Amanda slowly leaned down, kissing the top of Angela’s head. Angela didn’t respond, just wrapping her arms tighter around the older woman. They sat like that in silence for a while, both basking in the love and connection they shared with one another.