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“What are you doing tomorrow?” Matt's voice is sudden, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, scaring the hell out of Adam. Matt laughs, his face crinkling up, and puts his hand on Adam's shoulder. “A bit jumpy there?”
Adam shuts his locker door with a bang, rolling his eyes, trying his hardest not to let Matt see how much that scared him. “Nothing, why?”
“You're just gonna ignore that last question?”
“Yes.”
Matt sighs then giggles, sitting down on a bench next to the blonde man, and clears his throat. “I want to go shopping! And get lunch, but the main focus is shopping!”
“And you're asking me this because?”
Matt's rummaging through the other's duffle bag now, pulling out clothes at random and inspecting them. “Can I not ask one of my best friends to hang out with me?”
“You better fold those or so help me Jackson-” Adam pulls his boots on, pointing a finger in Matt's direction. “And no, there's some sort of reasoning.”
“I just want to hang out!”
“....are you gonna try to kill me like you did to the other Adam?”
“Wh-” Matt sputters, dropping a pair of jeans while shaking his head. “No! And that was once! In the past!”
Adam squints his eyes, looking at the other man suspiciously before speaking again. “You need someone to foot yours and Nick's bill?”
Matt stutters again while shaking his head, before realizing it's no use, and he sighs, folding the jeans he dropped.
“I'll go, but only if we get Chili's.”
Matt throws his hands up in the air, whooping, once again dropping the jeans in his excitement. “Great! We'll pick you up at one-ish?”
___
This was a bad idea. Maybe. It's been a few weeks since the Hotel Incident, as Adam's taken to calling it in his mind. Nothing really changed between them, except maybe they're a bit more careful with him when he loses a match, softer voices and gentler eyes. He's anxious, that this is it for some reason. That now, weeks later, they're choosing to take him out for “fun”, only to drop the fact that they're ending his contract with AEW. Take him out in public so he can't spiral immediately right? Because he's too childish, he can't be trusted, he's a liability-
He's shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of his phone blaring, Nick's contact information showing on the screen. He doesn't answer it, sliding it in his back pocket before leaving the house, locking the door with one last longing look at his plants. He's never had to worry that they're judging him for being small, plants are better than humans.
“I'm surprised you don't have the whole get up on.” Nick says, looking back at Adam where he's slid into the backseat of the car.
“I'm not wearing chaps to a target, Nick. You should know me by now.”
Matt giggles from the passenger seat and the younger brother holds his hands up in mock defense, the corners of his lips curling up into a smile. “Alright, my bad. Guess the horse themed shirt will have to do.”
“I'm not-” Adam looks down, realizing a second too late that he is, in fact, wearing a shirt with little horses on them. “I haven't done laundry in awhile, ok?”
“I think it suits you.” Matt turns around to look at him, smiling softly. He's got something in his hands he's fiddling with, but Adam can't tell what it is so he sits back against his seat, content to listen to the two brothers bickering on the drive to the store.
Despite how peaceful the drive is, there's still an anxious simmering in his gut he can't quite get rid of. He has no reason to believe that the Bucks would just leave him like this, but he's…..scared. Scared of losing his closest friends because he brain decided that the best ways to cope were alcohol and being a child again. He knows he's weird, spent many nights wishing he could just get it to stop, that he could just change. He doesn't know why they were so accepting, why they immediately knew what was happening.
The car rolls to a stop and Matt basically hops out of the car, still clutching something to his side, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Adam's only ever seen Matt this excited before a match, so he's a bit confused on why the older Buck is practically shaking impatiently waiting for them to get out of the car. Adam turns to look at Nick and is shocked by the sudden weight of someone's hand in his, Matt intertwining their fingers, swinging their arms back and forth.
“If we behave, maybe we can convince Nicky to get us something.” His smile is wide as he walks in front of Adam, still holding onto his hand. Adam's brain stutters a bit at the phrasing, but it's not that big of a deal so he smiles back at Matt and nods his head.
Adam's not sure what he expected really, but things aren't different than how they were before they found out. The thing Matt was holding earlier is shoved into his jacket pocket and Adam thinks he sees a flash of white fur? His attempt at figuring out what the object is is interrupted by Matt suddenly gasping and pulling them towards a section of children's coloring books.
He can't give in. Adam won't give in. They both probably already think he's a freak enough, he's not going to prove their point by regressing in the middle of the store just because he saw a coloring book. He needs to get a grip, he needs to be a man-
“Don't you have enough already, bub?”
…..What? Adam turns around to face Nick, confused, before he realizes something. Nick wasn't talking to him. Nick wasn't using that gentle tone for Adam, no, he was talking to…Matt?
Matt, who is currently crouched in front of the shelf and staring up at Nick like he just asked the world's most offensive question.
“Nuh uh! Could never have ‘nough.” Matt's voice has a familiar tilt to it, something Adam has heard before but only ever coming out of his own mouth. He's taken aback, can't speak as he watches Matt gasp and point at a book with a bunny on the cover. “Look! Matches Miss Bun!”
Matt giggles excitedly and takes out whatever was in his pocket, revealing a small, and slightly squished, white stuffed bunny with a pink bow tied around its neck. Nick doesn't seem surprised at all, just nods in agreement and sighs fondly when Matt puts the book in the basket.
“What about you, Hanger? Do you want a book? I'll pay for it.”
Adam flinches at Nick's voice and turns to stare at him. He's not sure what his face is doing but it must not be something good because Nick's face drops slightly and his eyebrows furrow in concern.
“Adam, are you ok?”
His eyes are stinging, he doesn't know what to do. Everything feels out of place, like everything's been shifted slightly to the left. This explains why they were so calm, why they accepted him without any hesitation. It just feels….weird. He feels off center.
How can he hate himself when Matt does this too? How can Adam be so full of shame knowing that one of his closest friends is just like him?
This is just…something Matt does. He's not panicking, Nick's not looking at his brother in disgust. Is this really not something that makes Adam a total freak? If Matt can be fine with it, maybe he can too.
He sniffles suddenly, a hand on his shoulder shocking him out of his thoughts. His face is cold, and it takes him a few moments to realize he's started to cry softly, his vision blurring. Both brothers are standing in front of him now, Nick's hand is the one on his shoulders. Matt frowns, clutching the stuffed animal to his chest.
“Cowboy? You ok?”
Adam goes to respond but when he opens his mouth he lets out a sob, shocking all three of them, and he suddenly finds himself in the arms of the Jackson brothers, just like that time in the locker rooms. He buries his face into Matt's shoulder trying very quickly to calm himself down, very aware that he's a grown man crying in the arts and crafts section of a Target.
“Sorry just-”
“You don't have to explain yourself Adam.” Nick's voice is gentle and when Adam pulls back to look at him, Nick gently wipes some of the tears off of his face, smiling softly. “We understand. I forgot you didn't know, I thought it would be nice for you two to have a playdate of sorts.”
Matt nods excitedly then stops, frowning gently. “But! Can be bigs if you wan’? M don't wanna make you feel bad or anyfing.”
Adam shakes his head, wiping harshly at his eyes. “No just- it's a lot.”
“Do you want to go home?”
“No uhm-” Adam ducks his face down before looking back up at Nick, trying to control any embarrassment he feels in the moment. “Is the offer for the book still up?”
He's trying his hardest to keep his words not slurred or stuttered, even though he can feel the fuzziness creeping into his brain. Matt breaks into a wide grin and claps his hands excitedly, while Nick nods. “Of course it is Hanger, it always will be.”
It seems a bit like Nick is talking about more than just the book but that's a thought for later. Adam's eyes flicker over to a Lisa Frank book he had spotted earlier, once with a horse on the cover, and Matt gasps, skipping towards it.
“It's got a horsie! Matches wif Hemsley!” Matt's hair whips around while he bounces in excitement, and it makes Adam smile. He takes the book and places it in the cart, Nick watching with a fond smile.
Matt grabs Adam's hand again, dragging him around the store while Nick follows behind them, essentially being a glorified basket holder. They grab a few more things, some household items, before Nick suddenly stops, grabbing something from the shelf.
“We forgot to grab crayons!” He holds up two packs of them before putting them in the cart speedwalking to catch up to the two littles in front of him.
“Thank you Dada!” Matt smiles at Nick before turning to Adam, looking at him expectantly.
“Oh, I-”
Nick cuts him off, shrugging. “You don't have to call me anything you don't want to, just Nick if fine. I'm alright with anything though, Matt knows that.”
Adam nods, processing it for a moment. It still feels like a lot, and he's a little overwhelmed, but he breathes in shakily and nods his head. “Thank you for the stuff…papa.”
Ah shoot, Nick said anything but surely that's too much, who's fine being called that by a grown adult? Before he can spiral too far Nick bumps his shoulder into Adam's, smiling. “Of course. We meant what we said Adam. We'll always be there for you, you're our foal.”
And oh, if that doesn't spread a warm feeling throughout his chest. It tingles all the way to his fingertips and he can't choke down his giggle in time, ducking his head to avoid looking Nick in the eyes. He wants to be like this forever, to be their foal, and he thinks he just might let himself.
“We still getting Chili's Dada?”
“Matt, we haven't even checked out yet.”
“Don't care. M hungryyyyyyyy. Foal is too.” Matt pouts, pointing over to Adam.
Adam doesn't want to put himself somewhere he doesn't belong, doesn't want to cause an argument but they seem like they're messing around, and Matt did sorta ask his opinion, so Adam puts on his best pouty face and looks at Nick. “Please Papa?”
Nick sighs, turning towards the registers. “You two are horrible for my bank account. Come on, let's go.”
Matt and Adam both cheer and for the first time in a while -ever, actually- Adam doesn't feel the usual overwhelming shame he feels that accompanies being little. He just feels at peace. Like this is normal, and that he belongs here. He'll learn to accept it.