Chapter Text
Chapter 1 “A new house”
My mom died one month ago. No, she didn't die. I killed her. I did it.
Michael was always excited about turning eighteen years old. Townsend has been 18 for a few months, and he finally found a good idea for how to spend his fortune. He bought a huge house in Denver. For us. For our family. Not biological ones, since our biological families were definitely too hard to even think about. But our family. Judd, Agent Briggs, Agent Sterling, and us. The Naturals.
Lia, who chose this name because it is similar to the words “lie” and “liar,” but she has never admitted it.
Michael, who would still let his father hurt him to get more money. But who knows whether it was for money or not?
Dean, who was used to punishing himself for every second he was close to losing control. For every second he assumed he was too similar to his father.
Sloane, who just wanted her dad’s validation and wanted Aaron to like her.
And me, Cassie Hobbes, just a girl who killed her mother. A girl who close eyes and sees waves of ginger hair yelling Dance it off, Cassie!
I have been living with this family for the last year. But it was in Quantico. And now we are in Denver. Michael bought this house because I wanted to resign. I wanted to leave my naturals. I didn't really want to. I just needed to stay here in Denver and have an eye on Laurel. I could never leave her alone. I was sure that Nonna would provide a good upbringing for Laurel. But she was my sister. My little sister. It was my responsibility to take care of her. And it was the only reason Michael bought a house. He wanted to stay with me in Denver. He didn't want to be in Quantico with other naturals. Because it wouldn’t be the same program. Not without me. The rest of the family agreed. Everyone wanted to stay in Denver.
“Colorado! You can’t just stand there and look at your shoes. They are beautiful but everyone else can’t wait for me to do a house tour!” Michael yelled from the front porch. I zoned out, again.
I joined the group and Michael solemnly opened the door with his key. “Welcome to my new house! I’m joking, it’s our house” he declared. The house was big and modern. Though, I couldn't focus on a house tour. My mind was still profiling The Masters.
“Here is a bedroom for Colorado and Mr. AlwaysSomber. One comfortable bed and a spacious wardrobe for Cassie’s lingerie.” I looked at Michael with embarrassment. His face was wearing a cocky grin.
“I’m really going to share a room with…” I wanted to ask but Judd interrupted me. “No. You are kids. Maybe not by law, but for me. No sharing bedrooms before marriage. I’m not ready to be a grandpa”
Sloane smiled at me. I knew what was on her mind. “Cassie, I swear I won’t be snorting. By the way, did you know that ceilings in this house are three point four meters above the floor?”
“I feel sorry for you, Cassie” I felt Lia’s hand on my shoulder. “I’m pretty sure that the thing about snorting was a lie. But I’m sure Sloane told the truth about ceilings”
I looked around the room that was for Sloane and me. Obviously not for Dean and me. And it had two separate beds, not one that would be perfect for couples.
I put my bag on the bed and I sat down. Michael and others went to continue the house tour. I needed a moment to think. I was always really thankful when my friends were distracting me from bad thoughts. But sometimes my brain was self-destructive. I had to think about Pythia, Masters, and Nine at least twice an hour.
Suddenly I felt Dean’s hand on the back of my neck. This hand placement always meant that he was there for me, with me, to support me. I smiled slightly at him.
“The fakest smile I’ve ever seen, Cassie” he murmured. “I know. Dean…it’s just so hard to act”. Dean's face looked offended for a moment “Act? In front of me?” he shook his head. His blonde hair fell onto his face. “No. Not in front of you. Dean, I meant that some days are better and some are worse. And today is definitely worse. I have no idea why. I just can’t stop thinking about my mum. I used to call her mommy, when I was a child. But they used to call her Pythia.” Dean pulled me into his arms. I love those comforting hugs of his.
“Cassie, you didn't kill your mum. You killed Pythia, you killed Lorelai. Damn, you didn't even kill her, not exactly, not because you wanted to. This woman? She hadn't been your mum for a really long time. The cult changed her. Cassie, they turned her into something special. But not special like…like my love for you is special. Specials like…damn, you understand what I mean, right? I’m just trying to say that she wasn't the same woman. Your mum would laugh with you, tell you that there is always a solution, and she would dance with you. And what Lorelai did? She just told you to kill her. You didn't kill your mommy, Cas”
I was so thankful for these words. Dean has never been talkative. He didn't like to say more than three sentences in a row. But for me, he could say everything. I put my lips on his and I kissed him slightly. He answered with the same delicate move.
“I love you, Dean. We two are totally messed up and pretty insane. Maybe that’s why I love you” I confessed and chuckled at the last sentence.
“And I love you, Cassie. Maybe we two are weird. But it doesn't matter because we have each other. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be with you”
“Ew, what a cheesy thing to say! Who would expect it from you, Deany?” I heard Lia’s voice behind us. The end of privacy.
“I hope Lia won’t say that my love confession was a lie” Dean snorted sarcastically.
Lia leaned against the door frame and she folded her arms. Then she started laughing. I squeezed my brows in a questioning way. “Cassie, you won’t understand. It’s just the feeling a sister feels when her associalable, quiet brother is finally opening up to his love. You two are cute. You know…Michael would never be that romantic.”
Right, Michael. I could never understand what was between Lia and Michael. Love? Maybe, but I’m sure they’re not kind of romantic lovers. Physical attraction? For sure. Sloane told me once that Lia and Michael do it together. In my opinion it was a messy situationship with ups and downs.
Dean, Lia and I joined the rest of the group. Our house tour ended in the backyard, when Michael decided to show us our new pool. This one was without the shape of a dead body on the bottom. This reminded me of our house in Quantico and everything in this house that was reminding us about serial killers. Michael took off his t-shirt and jumped into the pool.
“This pool has 80 670 litres of water. Two litres less when Michael jumped and some water spread out of the pool” Sloane came closer to me. My favourite calculator finally got her spark back after the case with Aaron. I think that Celine Delacroix helped Sloane a lot. But I didn’t want to know details in this “help” for my mental state’s goodness.
Mental state’s goodness. Suddenly it reminded me of Dean about one year before. When I joined The Naturals he said “there’s nothing to ruin” when I asked why he joined. Was I in the same place then? Through this year I got kidnapped three times, I was talking with serial killers like Daniel Redding or Nightshade, and I killed my mum. Was there something to ruin in me? After a moment of thinking I realised that through this year I also fell in love, found family and took care of my younger sister.
I was ruined. But probably not entirely. I sat down on the bench and I looked around. My family were laughing and splashing water around. It reminded me of real happiness. I felt like I was at my worst and my best at the same time.
I was watching Dean take off his shirt and jump into the pool. His chest was covered in scars, like it’s always been. A lot of people think that scars are ugly, but to be honest I loved Dean’s scars. They made him him. Sloane and Lia ran to the house to change into swimming suits. I did not. At that moment I was too tired to swim. I knew my friends would prefer me to swim with them and have fun. But they also weren’t pressing on me. I chose to observe them.